by Morgan James
Shifting her in my arms, I dipped her over my arm so her back was arched, her breasts pushed forward. Twin peaks pressed against the thin material of her camisole, begging for attention. Starting at her neck, I placed hot, open-mouthed kisses over the sleek column, swept my tongue over her sweet, salty skin, and bit down. She let out a soft mewl, her body writhing, her bottom wiggling against my hard arousal.
I trailed lower, over her collarbone and between the valley of her breasts until I met the lace edging of her shirt. Her nipples were hard, tiny nubs, and I took one in my mouth. The wet fabric clung to her, enhancing the sensual vision. Pulling the opposite strap down her shoulder, I bared the other breast. Gently kneading her soft flesh, I took the tip in my mouth and bit down gently.
I’d never tasted anything so sweet as Lydia, and I knew I’d never get enough.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lydia
I tunneled my fingers through his hair, gripping his skull and holding him close. I loved the faint burning sensation as his beard grazed my skin, and the sensation sent a ripple of heat curling through my belly. Xander’s mouth moved to my breast, and he suckled my nipple through the filmy fabric of my camisole. The scrape of the material over my hardened peak shot a current of electricity straight to my core, and I ground against him. Shoving my shirt up to expose my breasts to his view, Xander latched on to a tight peak, his teeth digging into the tender flesh just enough to elicit a sting of pleasure.
“God, baby, I want you so much.” His words brushed over my skin, warming my heart. The arm around my back tightened as he lifted me to a sitting position. “Spread your legs.”
His words penetrated the fog of lust that had settled over my brain, and I struggled to follow his whispered instructions. My legs shook, but I finally managed to move astride him. One huge hand cupped the back of my neck and pulled, bringing my head down to meet his. I let out a soft sigh as his lips molded to mine, soft yet demanding. As my lips parted, his tongue delved inside, stroking against mine in a gentle rhythm. The banked embers within me flamed to life, and I clutched him tightly, my nails digging into his triceps.
His hands roamed impatiently over my body, around the flare of my hips and the dip of my waist. His fingers delved under the hem of my shirt, and he broke the kiss only long enough to strip it over my head. Talented fingers tweaked my nipples, his mouth still teasing mine with seductive, demanding kisses. I wiggled to get closer, his cock pressing up through the fabric of his pants and brushing my thigh.
My breasts felt heavy and full in his palms, aching as his thumbs flicked over the sensitive tips. An intense pleasure bordering on pain shot through me, and I froze. Sitting here on display, the light from the kitchen spilling into the living room, washing over me, I was sure he could see every inch of me—every imperfection. And there were a lot of those.
Oh, God. “No!” Tears sprang to my eyes and I ripped myself from his embrace, covering my breasts with one hand while searching for my shirt with the other.
Xander climbed to his feet and stepped close. “Sweetheart, what’s—”
My lungs heaved as humiliation coursed through me, and Xander’s words felt as if they were coming from a thousand miles away.
Large hands grasped my wrists, demanding my attention. “Liddy, stop!”
“Please let me go.” I fought against his hold, unable to look him in the eye.
“Stop fighting me.”
I resisted for a moment, then went slack, pinning my gaze to his chest so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes. After a long moment, he released me, and I automatically crossed my arms over my breasts. My chin dipped to my chest in defeat. Tiny pink lines spread over my skin like cracks in glass, the stretch marks from my body swelling and shrinking after Alexia’s birth. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see the very things I’d tried to hide from Xander.
“Hey.” His hands lifted to frame my face. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, tears spilling down my cheeks, and he brushed them away with his thumbs. “I can’t.”
“Why?” He gently pressed up on the underside of my chin, forcing my gaze to his. Concern lingered in the cerulean depths. “Tell me what’s going through your head.”
“I’m... not back to normal yet.” I could see the confusion in his gaze, and the words left me in a defeated rush. “From breastfeeding.”
Understanding dawned. “Oh, sweetheart.”
I’d never been enough—not pretty enough, not successful enough. I sure hadn’t been for Shawn. So why would Xander be any different? Where he was hard and muscular and in shape, I was soft and curvy and flawed. “I’ll never be the kind of woman you want.”
“Lydia, look at me.” Reluctantly, I dragged my gaze upward. Clear blue eyes bored into mine. “I wanted you two years ago, and I want you now.” His hands slid around to my lower back, holding me close. “I will always want you, Liddy. You’re the mother of our baby girl. My wife. There’s nothing sexier than that.”
At his words, my head dropped forward to rest in the crook of his neck, and I drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry.”
His chin brushed my temple as he shook his head. “Don’t apologize, sweetheart. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. But you don’t have to do this by yourself anymore. I’ll be here for you. Always.”
I lifted my head and gazed at him, absorbing the truth in his gaze. “I just feel... awkward.”
His fingers dipped into my hair. “I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable, Liddy. I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do.”
“I do want this.” I took a deep breath and gestured between us. “Us. I... I missed you.”
His lips captured mine, turning my blood to molten liquid. I kissed him back feverishly, swept away by the passion I felt for him. “I missed you so damn much.”
The connection I thought we’d severed nearly two years ago was still there—I could feel it. The passion between us was stronger than ever, and desire danced along my nerve endings like fire. His touch burned me, the inferno inside my body raging with need. I wanted him, all of him. It’d been much too long since I’d been touched like this—touched at all, really. With Xander, it was as if we had never been apart. He did something to me that I didn’t understand, sparked a need inside me that I’d never felt before. I’d spent hundreds of nights wishing he was by my side, and now it was finally coming true.
“I need you to tell me, Liddy. Tell me what you want.”
What did I want? Him. My heart screamed for him, needed him like my next breath. “You—I want you.”
His mouth came down hard on mine, and our tongues tangled together in an erotic dance as old as time as he palmed my ass and yanked me toward him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bedroom, then set me on my feet just inside the doorway. Grasping eagerly at my clothes, he walked us backwards until my back hit the wall. Once my hands were free of the material, I looped them around his shoulders, catching the back of his neck. I loved the feel of his hair beneath my fingers, the silky strands longer than they’d been a year and a half ago.
Hooking his fingers in the waistband of my sweats, he dropped to a crouch and slid them down my legs. I braced a hand on one muscular shoulder as I stepped out of them. Leaning forward, he nuzzled my core through my plain white cotton panties. They were decidedly unsexy, but Xander made everything seem special—extraordinary. It didn’t matter to him whether I was in sweats or sexy lingerie.
He kissed one thigh, then the other before working my panties down my legs. The second I stepped free, he pressed up on my leg, forcing my knee to bend. He placed it over his shoulder and ran one finger through my drenched slit. I bit the back of my hand to keep the gasp welling up my throat from escaping, well aware of the baby asleep in the next room.
“So sweet.” Xander moved closer, his tongue dipping between my folds and nudging the sensitive bud. I let out a whimper, and he tightened his grip as my
legs trembled. “I got you, babe.”
Slowly lowering my leg, Xander pushed to a standing position and pulled me against him. Sliding his hands beneath my bottom, he yanked hard and lifted me to his chest. My legs automatically wrapped around him, the material of his pants rubbing against my exposed core. His lips crashed against mine as I shifted my hips, trying to get closer, trying to find fulfillment. I felt empty, and I needed Xander to make it better.
Laying me back on the bed, Xander reached over his head and yanked his shirt off before tossing it to the ground. He quickly shed his pants, rolled on a condom, then crawled between my legs. “We’ll play later, but right now I need to be inside you. It’s been fucking killing me.”
I nodded, breathless, too turned on to even respond. I wasn’t sure I could form words at this point, let alone an articulate response. I needed him just as badly as he needed me. I wanted to feel the way he’d made me feel two years ago. I wanted to lose myself in him, lose myself in the comfort and strength and care that he offered.
“What’s the easiest way for you to get off?”
“Um...” I blinked at the sudden question. I had no idea. On the rare occasion that I’d had sex with Shawn, it had always been rushed, in bed with the lights off. If I didn’t get off—which was most of the time—I’d roll over and slide my hand between my legs to relieve the ache myself. I stared up at Xander, who watched me with an intensity I’d never known. “Missionary?”
He cocked a brow. “Is that a question?”
I glared up at him. “It’s been a while.”
Immediately, his gaze turned hot and feral. “Fuck yeah, it has.”
His words, spoken on a low growl, sent tendrils of heat curling through me. No one had ever talked dirty to me before—no one but Xander. And I loved it.
“I need to know because this time is gonna be fast,” he warned. “I’ve been jerking off to thoughts of this gorgeous pussy for days now, and I don’t know how long I’m gonna last.”
His accent was accentuated when he was turned on, I discovered. The low words blended together in a silken slur. Knowledge that he’d been imagining me while getting off sent a wave of heat climbing over my face. “I don’t... I’m not sure,” I stuttered.
“Let’s find out.” Xander’s hands moved to my hips, and I felt the unmistakable nudge at my entrance as he lined himself up. “I can’t fucking wait to feel you again.”
I sucked in a breath as he slipped inside one inch, then another. His hands tightened around my waist, and he let out a sound that was a combination of a growl and a low moan. “Fuuuck.”
Lifting my hips a fraction, he thrust deep. The motion took my breath away, and I swore I saw stars as his cock stroked my inner walls. My legs curved around his, holding him close, my nails digging into the skin where I gripped his shoulders. He commanded my body, every nerve ending alive and screaming for him. He filled every inch of me—my core, my heart, my mind.
Xander stared down at me, blue eyes dark in their intensity. “Goddamn, babe. You feel so good.”
My muscles clenched around him as he began to pull out, not wanting to let him go. Before I could call it back, a tiny whimper left my mouth, and I sank my teeth into my lower lip. One hand moved to my head, tunneling into my hair and turning my face to meet his. The kiss was demanding, ferocious. He devoured me like a starving man needs food to survive.
Hot, panting breaths collided as our tongues slid over one another, eager to taste. I tried to cry out as he slammed back into me, but Xander stole the sound from my mouth. His lips were bruising as they claimed mine, his hips pumping back and forth. Heat raced through me, and I shattered in an explosion of light. Xander slapped a hand over my mouth as a keening cry escaped. The muffled sound travelled up my throat and vibrated through my body to the tips of my fingers and toes, stealing every molecule of oxygen.
One hand still buried in my hair, the other slipped beneath my bottom, pulling my hips to his as he pounded into me hard and fast. Concentration lined his face and his lips pulled up in a grimace as I felt him grow even harder inside me.
“Fuck, baby... Yes!”
Our bodies rocked together as he slammed into me twice more, then let go with a hiss, emptying himself deep inside me. He slumped over me, our damp bodies sealed together. After a long moment, he pressed a kiss to my collarbone, then levered himself upward.
I reluctantly relaxed my legs as he started to pull out. I couldn’t help the sense of loss as his body left mine. He seemed to understand, because he shifted onto his side next to me, then grasped my hip and pulled me flush against him. My nipples brushed his chest, we were so close, and the sensation sent a shiver down my spine. I pressed my legs together to stop the ache, but it only intensified.
Xander cupped the back of my head and pulled me in for a leisurely kiss. His tongue swept over mine, slow and sweet. His hand slipped down the expanse of my back and over the curve of my hip to my bottom. He squeezed the round globe before giving it a light smack. I jumped in surprise, and a tiny smile lit Xander’s face when we finally broke our kiss.
“Give me a few more minutes to recover, then you’re all mine again.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Xander
I stared down at the woman in my arms, her unruly dark waves tossed riotously over the pillow beside me. A few strands still clung to her face, and I brushed them away with my thumb. Her lashes fluttered, but her breathing never changed, and I knew she was out. She’d collapsed—literally fallen flat on her belly with a laugh, joking that I’d fucked her senseless—the last time I’d pulled out of her half an hour ago.
I’d tucked her against me as she snuggled close, not wanting an inch of space between us. I loved watching her, loved every sexy sound she made. One of these nights I wanted her wild and unrestrained. I wanted to hear her scream my name. Soon I was going to arrange for a babysitter to watch Alexia for a few hours so I could fuck her properly.
I reached over to the nightstand and flipped off the baby monitor that rested beside the clock. I was a light sleeper from my years in the service; as soon as Alexia cried out, I’d be up. I wanted Lydia to relax and get some sleep. The stress from the shop was weighing on her, I could tell. Lydia worked too damn hard, and I wanted to help in whatever way I could.
Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift for a moment, inhaling the sweet scent of the woman next to me before finally falling sleep. Not long after, my eyes flew open, and I immediately took stock of my surroundings, trying to determine what had awakened me. After a moment of silence, a strain of high-pitched chatter floated from Alexia’s room. A smile curved my face, and I glanced at the clock. With any luck, Lydia would sleep for another hour or two before she had to get ready for work.
I carefully extracted myself from her lithe body, one lean leg wrapped around mine like a vine. A tiny whimper left her mouth, and I tucked the covers around her. At the feeling of security, she immediately snuggled back in and dropped off to sleep again.
Yanking on the pants I’d worn last night, I crept from the room and closed the door behind me before making my way down the hall to Alexia’s room. She stood by the rail of her crib, talking softly to herself and bouncing on the squishy mattress.
“Hey, baby girl.”
She peered up at me over the railing, a trace of confusion in her eyes. “Mama?”
Her question sent a little pang of regret through my heart. I hated that I hadn’t been here for her—for either of them—when they needed me most. I hated that Alexia still looked at me sometimes like she wasn’t quite sure what to make of me, like she didn’t recognize me or trust me.
“Mama’s sleeping. Come to Daddy?”
I held my arms out and waited for her to come to me. Though I’d spent most every night over the past week with her, she still hadn’t opened up completely. When Lydia was around, Alexia seemed to sense that everything was okay. But she was reserved when it was just the two of us, like she was afraid Lydia wouldn’t come bac
k. Maybe it was exactly as Lydia said; Alexia had never been around men. We were big, scary, hairy creatures to be feared. I’d do anything to take that look of concern off her face.
She reached up, and I scooped her into my arms. Carrying her over to the changing table, I spoke to her while I changed and dressed her. “You hungry? Maybe we should make breakfast for mommy.”
She looked up at me hopefully as I tossed her soiled diaper in the pail and picked her up. “Cookie?”
I laughed and cuddled her close, brushing my nose over hers. “Good try. No cookies. Eggs?”
Together we strolled downstairs, and I whipped up some scrambled eggs while Alexia watched from her high chair nearby. She attacked the eggs with gusto when I set them on her tray, though I was pretty sure more ended up on the floor than in her mouth. Once I had everything cleaned up and had prepared a plate for Lydia, I picked Alexia up from her high chair and scooped up the plate. “Nothing like breakfast in bed. Right, sugar?”
“Bed,” she mimicked.
“That’s right.” A grin split my face. Lydia hated not being in control, but I hoped she’d at least appreciate the gesture. Cracking open her bedroom door, I spied her still curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. Setting the plate on the nightstand, I used my free hand to part the curtains a bit and let the early morning sunshine spill through.
Settling on the edge of the bed, I set Alexia down and ran a hand over Lydia’s dark locks. “Hey, beautiful. Time to wake up.”
Sleepy gray eyes peeked open as Alexia crawled on top of her. Extracting her arms from the confines of the covers, she pulled Alexia into a hug. “Morning.”
Her voice was rough with sleep and sexy as fuck. “Morning. I brought you some eggs and toast.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You made me breakfast?”
Alexia pulled free of Lydia’s hold and crawled over to lay her head on the pillow I’d vacated barely an hour ago, then closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.