by Morgan James
She’d let Jolene walk all over her for far too long, and I was fucking thrilled that she’d given Jolene a dose of her own medicine. I’d met the woman twice but had taken an instant dislike to the way she’d treated Lydia. How a mother could treat her child like that blew my mind. Lydia deserved far better.
Lydia leaned away from me and dabbed beneath her eyes with her fingertips. “I’m so sorry for ruining our date.”
“Sweetheart”—I brushed a thumb over her cheek—“we have a thousand dates ahead of us. I don’t care about dinner or a movie. I care about you.”
“I just... I can’t believe she did that!”
I couldn’t either. Jolene was so wrapped up in herself she didn’t care who she hurt as long as she got exactly what she wanted. Deciding to keep my opinions to myself, I just let Lydia vent and get it all off her chest.
“Damn it, I’m just so mad at her.” Lydia vacillated between anger and sadness as her tears welled again. “God, she’s such a bitch. Why can’t she just be a normal mother like anyone else?”
I didn’t have an answer for that.
“I mean, who does that?” Her hands cut through the air in an aggravated arc. “Like I’m her personal freaking assistant instead of her daughter. She doesn’t give a damn about anyone but herself, and I’m tired of it.”
She let out a defeated sigh, her shoulders slumping forward. “Shit. What am I going to do?”
I rubbed small circles over her back. “About what?”
“I don’t have the money to pay her back.”
I lifted her face to mine. “We’ll take care of it Monday, just like you said.”
Eyes still shiny with tears met mine. “We?”
“I told you before, sweetheart.” I slid my hand up to cup the side of her face. “I’ll do whatever I can to help. If you want to pay off what you owe, I’m more than happy to help you.”
I knew Lydia hated to rely on anyone which was why I’d proposed the original offer I had. I thought she’d be more likely to let me help if she knew the money would go into an account for Alexia.
“Are you sure? It’s a lot of money.”
“It’s worth it.” Lydia had thrown down the gauntlet, and there was a chance that Jolene would come to terms with what she’d done and apologize. But it was more likely that she’d continue to abuse Lydia’s good graces and use her as long as Lydia allowed it. I wanted Lydia away from that situation. Alexia was too young to know better yet, but she deserved far more than a grandmother in her life who tried to buy her love because she had nothing better to offer.
“I’ll need to look at my finances,” she finally said. “The shop does well, but I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to pay you back.”
“First of all”—I held up a finger—“you’re not paying me back. Everything goes to Alexia. You just start putting a little bit away each month, whatever you can afford. It makes no difference to me.”
I wasn’t rolling in money, but I’d saved up enough over the years to be able to afford this with no problems. And if it was better for Lydia’s sanity, then I would gladly sacrifice the money.
Her glossy eyes welled once more. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
I’d do anything to take that look off her face. I wasn’t sure where her head was at, but I decided to test the waters with a gentle tease. “I have a few ideas.”
She rolled her eyes and sniffled, a tiny smile lifting the corners of her mouth. “Right. I’m sure I’m super appealing right now.”
“Liddy.” Her head tipped heavily against my hand as she gazed up at me, and I studied the pewter depths of her eyes. She put on a brave front, but I saw the insecurity lurking far below the surface, mingling with sadness and hurt. “I always want you—from the first moment you wake up in the morning until the second you fall asleep at night. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. Laughing, smiling, crying, yelling—I want all of you every way, every day.”
She dropped her chin but didn’t move away from my hand still cradling her cheek. A soft snuffle left her, and I felt the moist heat of a tear trickle down my palm. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I continued. “I just want to put a smile on your face and treat you the way you deserve. I won’t ever take advantage of you, and I’ll do my best not to hurt you. I can’t guarantee we won’t fight or have bad days, but I’ll do my damnedest to make you happy.”
I wanted to tell her how I felt—that I was falling for her. That maybe I’d fallen for her long ago. But I kept my mouth shut. She had enough burdens to bear tonight, and I refused to heap anything else on her shoulders. I needed to wait for her to come to me. I prayed that just being here for her would be enough to prove my intentions were true.
“Come on, babe.” I patted her hip and settled her back in her seat. “Let’s go.”
Taking my time as I rounded the truck, I shot off a quick text to Darlene to ask if she could watch Alexia a bit longer. We’d driven about a mile down the road when my screen lit up with an incoming message. I glanced at Darlene’s affirmation, then set my phone in the cupholder. In the passenger seat, Lydia sat quietly, back to her reserved self. When I pulled into a pub on the outskirts of town, she threw me a questioning glance.
“What are we doing here?”
I turned to face her and laid one arm over the back of the seat. “We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to, but I thought you could use it. You never have any time for yourself.”
She stared at me hard for a moment, then redirected her gaze to the bar. “I shouldn’t. Darlene’s watching Alexia and—”
“I already asked her to stay a bit longer.” Lydia’s gaze jumped back to mine. “She said to take as long as we need.”
She was always too busy taking care of everyone else—Alexia, the salon, Jolene. She deserved a little bit of time to unwind. “I’m going to guess rum.”
Her brows drew together in confusion. “For what?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I could tell the other night that you weren’t really into beer. So I’m guessing rum is more up your alley.”
“Close.” A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Vodka. Specifically, martinis.”
I brushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Then how about we get you a martini?” After the episode with Jolene, Lydia could probably use a martini—or three.
She sank her teeth into her lower lip before replying. “I guess so.”
Pleased that she’d agreed, I slid from the truck and went around to help her out. She slipped her hand into the crook of my elbow as I led her toward the front door. It was such a wifely thing to do, and it felt so natural that my heart swelled in my chest. It was the first time she’d reached for me first. She’d rarely, if ever, instigated romance between the two of us. Almost always I went 90 percent of the way before she’d move in to meet me.
I was starting to realize that I hadn’t even begun to scratch the surface of Lydia’s complex personality. She was outwardly serene and sweet, compartmentalizing all of her fears and doubts and insecurities and shoving them down deep. But now, things had begun to shift. She was touching me for the first time ever, as if I was more to her than Alexia’s father. Even when we’d made love last night, she hadn’t exhibited this kind of comfort. She’d been passionate, yes, and eager—but this was different.
I held the door, and we made our way to a corner booth in the back of the dimly lit bar. The heavy air held the tangy scent of lemon cleaner and sweet liquor. Lydia slid into the booth and I followed. She shot me a shy smile as I looped my arm around her shoulders, my thigh pressed tightly to hers. I knew she hadn’t figured it out yet, but I was determined to make her understand—I wasn’t going anywhere.
A waitress came by and took our order, and I turned to look at Lydia. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She let out a mirthless laugh. “The fact that my mother is an evil bitch? No, I’m all good on that. I’ve wasted over two decades getting caught up in her bull
shit, and I’m done with it. My threshold for crap only reaches so far, and she definitely crossed the line tonight. I meant what I said back there. I don’t want anything to do with her—and I don’t want her around—unless she gets her shit together.”
Fair enough. The amount of swearing she’d done in those few sentences alone told me just how serious she was. I let the silence stretch between us for a moment while I searched for something else to say. Before I came up with anything, she beat me to the punch, her voice filled with a combination of exasperation and frustration.
“You know”—she turned to face me—“I don’t mind helping her out. I really don’t. In fact, I’d have been more than happy to do it. But it’s the principle of the thing. The fact of the matter is, she didn’t even bother to ask if I would take her to the airport. Hell, she never even said anything about going before tonight. I’m sure she was just bored and needed a change, so she decided to hop on a plane, because she’s spoiled and thinks she can have whatever she wants.”
She paused to take a breath, and I stretched my legs under the table, settling further into the booth. Her body was still tight with tension, but I let my hand linger lightly on her shoulder, a gentle touch letting her know I was there for her.
Lydia sighed heavily. “I’m so tired of being treated like crap because she feels entitled to do whatever the hell she wants whenever she wants. It’s bullshit.”
I waited a moment, but it seemed her tirade was over. “For what it’s worth... I’m glad you finally stood up to her.”
“Yeah?” Steely eyes met mine. “You don’t think I overreacted?”
“Not at all.” I shook my head. “Granted, I don’t know her all that well, but your mother seems... difficult.”
Lydia let out a half laugh. “You think?”
“She strikes me as being a very strong personality who bullies people into doing what she wants.” Lydia nodded in agreement. “Sometimes the only way to get through to someone like that is to stand up to them just the way you did. If they feel like they can push you around, they’ll continue to walk all over you.”
A tiny smile quirked her mouth. “Sounds like you’re familiar with this.”
I shrugged. “Not personally, exactly. But I knew guys like that in the service. Thought they were better than everyone else.” I took a moment. “Your mother is kind of like those guys. Everyone is deserving of respect, and it’s damn time she starts showing it to you. You have a successful business and you’re an awesome mom. Who wouldn’t be proud of that?”
She dipped her head, presumably to hide the flash of moisture I’d glimpsed in her eyes. Her voice was whisper-soft when she spoke, and the rasp told me my hunch was correct. “Thank you.”
I wanted to pull her close, tuck her in next to me, but I didn’t want to push her too far. I was here if—when—she needed me. I allowed almost a full minute to pass, giving her time to gather herself before I spoke again. “How have things been at the salon?”
“You know.” She lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug. “Busy. There’s always something to do, some issue that needs to be fixed.”
I nodded. It was the perfect in for the subject I’d wanted to bring up for a couple days now. “Have you thought about hiring anyone else?”
“Not really.” She bit her lower lip for a moment. “It would be kind of a stretch with trying to pay the mortgage, plus my own rent and my debt to Jolene, and I’m not sure I want to take that risk right now.”
“Well, maybe this is a good time to make a change,” I suggested. “Once we pay off your mother, things won’t be so tight. You can put some money aside for Alexia as you’re able.”
“Maybe.” She worried that lower lip again.
Our conversation paused as the waitress delivered our drinks to the table, and I thanked her.
I pressed on, undaunted. “I’m sure having Brenda as backup helps but having another pair of hands to help around the shop would allow you to spend more time with Alexia.”
“It would be nice,” she acknowledged. She traced the rim of her glass with one finger as she spoke. “Gwen told me the other day she was looking for something else. I hate to lose her—she does such a great job. Maybe I’ll promote her and hire another salesgirl to help out.”
“You deserve it,” I said. “You’ve done so well, but you’re killing yourself trying to keep up.”
Anger flared in her eyes as she met my gaze. “I’m fine.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t. But I see the circles under your eyes.” She quickly averted her eyes, and I knew I’d hit the nail on the head. “You deserve to have some time off. You’re the only one who doesn’t get a day off.”
I knew, because the only day the salon was closed was Sunday. She worked from nine in the morning until at least seven each night and barely took the time to eat lunch during the day. I’d found this out by talking with Brenda the other day while I waited for Lydia. She always looked exhausted, yet she gave one hundred percent both at the salon and at home. If she kept it up, she would get burnt out. I knew she loved what she did, but it was slowly killing her.
I watched as she drew a little design in the condensation that had gathered on her glass. “Maybe you’re right,” she finally admitted. “It would be nice to spend more time with her. Before we know it, she’ll be in school and all grown up.”
She’d been in my life for less than two weeks, but I understood perfectly where she was coming from. I was momentarily hung up on her statement about Alexia before the first part even registered. She’d said we. Hope flared in my chest. That meant she was planning, subconsciously at least, for me to be in Alexia’s life. It was progress, more so than anything else. We’d been close physically, but Lydia still held so much of herself back, keeping everything bottled up inside. I was incredibly pleased that she was beginning to think of us as a couple.
I pulled her a tiny bit closer and ran my hand up and down her arm. “I’ll help however I can and support whatever you want to do. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to tell you how to run your business.”
“No, no.” She waved a hand. “I know what you’re saying. And I appreciate it.” She shot me a little smile over her shoulder. “You’ve done so much for me. I don’t know how we’ll ever be even.”
“It’s not about getting even, Liddy.” I slipped a hand beneath her jaw. “Besides, as long as I have you and Alexia, I have everything I need.”
Gray eyes turned liquid, like mercury. Her tongue darted out and swiped over her bottom lip. “The things you say...” She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes for a second before meeting my eyes again. “Make me think you’re really in this.”
“I am, sweetheart. I can promise you that I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.”
And I hoped that it would be a long damn time.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lydia
Humming to myself, I floated through the salon, straightening and fixing as I went. As I swept up to the front desk, Brenda crossed her arms over her chest.
“Okay, spill.”
My eyes jumped to hers. “What?”
She lifted one eyebrow as she studied me. “Mhmm.”
I fought a tiny smile and infused my voice with as much innocence as possible. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ha.” Brenda scoffed and turned to pick up an inventory report. “You think we’re blind to whatever happened between you and your man over the weekend?”
Apparently, I hadn’t done as good a job hiding my emotions as I thought. “You knew?”
“Please.” She let out a little snort. “You were all out of sorts all day Saturday. At first I thought you broke up, but this makes more sense.”
She looked me up and down, and I shifted under the scrutiny. “What makes sense?”
She stared into my eyes for a long moment. “You’re in love with him.”
I bit the inside of my lips to contain my smile. “I don’t know what you’re ta
lking about.”
“Please,” Brenda scoffed. “You’re singing.”
“I’m not singing,” I shot back, unable to hide my smile this time. Everyone knew that, despite my terrible voice, I sang when I was happy. Brenda lifted a brow in my direction, and I finally caved. “Oh, all right. I’m... happy.”
“Happy or... happy?” she asked, a wicked glint in her eyes.
I swatted her arm, unable to control the laughter bubbling up. It felt so good to be able to talk about it with someone. I’d kept my feelings toward Xander bottled up inside for too long—first the bad memories, now the good. “He just...” I trailed off, unsure of exactly how to describe the way he made me feel. “Everything feels perfect when I’m with him.”
“I like this look on you,” Brenda said with a soft smile. “You’re glowing like a new bride. Unless...”
Her gaze dropped to my midsection, and my own eyes widened, my hands pressing against my tummy. “Oh, no. No,” I said on a laugh. “None of that.”
Brenda smirked. “Yet.”
The bell over the door heralded a new customer, and I sighed with relief as Brenda left to greet them. I allowed my thoughts to drift inward for a moment as I caressed my stomach. After I had Alexia, I’d sworn she would be my only child. But now... What if Xander stayed? Would he want another baby?
“I’m headed to lunch.”
I spun at the sound of Gwen’s voice, my hands dropping to my sides. “Okay. Just be sure to be back for Andrea’s fitting. She should be here at one.”
“I know,” she snapped. “I was the one who scheduled her.”
I reared back, caught off guard by her tone. She’d never spoken to me like that before, and I wasn’t even sure what to say for a moment. Gwen’s face was set in an expression of displeasure, lips pressed into a thin line, refusing to make eye contact. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine.”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but she remained quiet. Was she that unhappy here? She’d been a little crabby the last couple days, but she’d never been downright rude. When she’d given me her notice a couple weeks ago and told me she was looking for another job, I was fairly certain it had something to do with her boyfriend. Now I was positive. Only a man could drive a woman to the edge of madness.