Devil in the Details

by Morgan James

  Xander squeezed my hand and spoke up for me. “Her throat hurts. Is there anything you can give her?”

  The nurse, whose name tag read Amanda, affected a sympathetic expression as she ventured closer and stopped next to my bed. “That’s from the breathing tube we just pulled yesterday. It will probably be tender for a couple days.” She smiled. “I can grab you some ice chips, though. Help hydrate you and soothe the ache.”

  I nodded and she reached for a blood pressure cuff. It constricted around my upper arm, and she made a couple notations on the iPad. “Vitals are looking good.”

  She removed the cuff and replaced it, then patted my arm. “I’ll be right back. Need anything else?”

  I shook my head, and she left the room in search of ice chips. I turned back to Xander to find him studying me intently. “What?” I mouthed.

  His mouth opened and closed, his gaze darting away for a second before meeting mine again. “Do you remember what happened?”

  I closed my eyes for a second and thought about the past few days. I remembered the helplessness I’d felt when the police showed up at the salon to tell me Alexia had been taken. I remembered two days of searching and appealing to the public, hanging fliers, handing them to every person I met on the street, and conducting the press conference. I remembered staring at Alexia’s picture, wondering where she was and if she was safe, praying that she’d be found soon.

  The picture.

  Oh, God. Gwen. Xander. The gun. Images flashed before my eyes in rapid succession as it all came flooding back. I had to know. Somehow I managed to croak out the words. “Is she...”

  “You don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

  My eyes drifted closed again as Xander grasped my hand tightly. Exhaustion clung to me, pulling me under, and I finally gave in.

  I PULLED ALEXIA INTO my arms again, needing to feel her slight weight against me. Even though barely fifteen minutes had passed since I’d last held her, it had been too long. I hugged her tight, and she squirmed in my hold, wriggling to get down and play. Reluctantly, I set her on her feet and watched as she ran away. Part of me wanted to haul her back to me and never let her go again. But I couldn’t hold her back because of my own insecurities.

  She seemed to have no memory of what happened. And thank God for that. Kids were so resilient—much more so than adults. She would never remember the events that had transpired over the past few days. I, on the other hand, would never forget. Every time I saw her precious little face, I’d see that photograph of her tear-stained cheeks, eyes filled with misery.

  My heart tugged, and I vowed to destroy that photograph. I didn’t want any physical reminders of what had happened. From now on, I’d make sure she was safe at all times so nothing like that ever happened to her again. I would never let her out of my sight.

  As I watched Alexia play with her toys, I couldn’t help but feel that something was missing. And I knew exactly what it was. Or, rather, who it was.

  Xander had been fairly distant the past few days since I’d awoken in the hospital. He’d encouraged me to come spend some time with Alexia alone, and he’d left immediately after dropping me off this morning. He hadn’t said much, and he hadn’t touched me except when absolutely necessary.

  I knew he was struggling to come to terms with everything. He blamed himself for allowing this to happen, I knew that much. Somewhere between consciousness and dreams, I’d heard him quietly berating himself as he kept vigil by my bedside.

  I wanted to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault and tell him I needed him here by my side. I couldn’t quite shake my unease. Even though my house looked normal, it still wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel the same without him here. The carpet had been replaced, but I’d noticed it was just a shade darker. The walls had been cleaned, possibly even repainted. I knew because the small scuff I’d left when moving the couch was no longer visible.

  I couldn’t remember the exact details no matter how hard I tried. I figured that was for the best. Gwen had hurt all of us. Now she was gone. There was no more justice to be exacted. She’d lost her mind over a guy. It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened. People did crazy things for love—or obsession.

  For the rest of the afternoon, I idly watched Alexia. We made dinner together, then I got her ready for bed. With each hour that passed, my heart sank a little more. Xander hadn’t called or texted. I’d gone so far as to invite him for dinner, but he hadn’t bothered to respond.

  Was he done with me already? Had he realized I wasn’t worth the trouble? That we weren’t worth the trouble? Once more I thanked God that Alexia wouldn’t remember the time she’d spent with him. My heart would take a little longer to reconcile the loss, but that didn’t matter. I’d always put Alexia first.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Xander

  I slipped in the front door and cocked an ear, listening. A floorboard creaked upstairs from the vicinity of Alexia’s room, and I ached to go to them. Somehow I refrained and made my way to the kitchen. Taking a seat at the table, I tossed down the manila envelope I’d agonized over bringing with me. But it was the right thing to do.

  I heard her footsteps come closer, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes—not yet. I didn’t want to see the anger, the condemnation, the reproachful glare I knew would be there.

  Her footsteps faltered, then drew closer. The chair across from me pulled away from the table, and she moved fully into view as she sank into it.

  I closed my eyes, envisioning a scene from two years ago. This was so like the morning we’d spent in the coffee shop in Vegas. It was as if life was forcing me to replay the biggest mistake of my life all over again. Only this time it was so much worse. It was like déjà vu as I glanced up and met her steely eyes.

  “You came.”

  Her voice was soft, but I couldn’t deny the faint thread of accusation beneath, and I cringed. I should’ve manned up and responded to her text message earlier. But I hadn’t been able to. For both of us, I had to do the right thing.

  Her face was unreadable as I studied her, and my eyes flitted to the space just above her temple. A small patch of hair had been shaved away, and a one-inch square of gauze had been taped over the wound. Though I’d seen it every day for the past week, it still made my stomach clench. I wanted to pull her into my arms, bury my face into that sweet spot between her neck and shoulder and hold her close, never let her go. I swallowed down my need and straightened in my chair. I reached out and spun the manila envelope until it faced her, then slid it across the table.

  She eyed me warily but didn’t say a word. Finally, she broke our gaze and dropped hers to the envelope. With a trembling hand, she reached for it and extracted the sheaf of papers within. Her pretty eyes skimmed them, but she never said a word. Her expression never changed. It made me want to scream that she was so controlled.

  She flipped to the back, and her gaze lingered for a long time on the page. I knew exactly what she was seeing, and I could see the weight of it in her eyes. I wouldn’t keep her tied to me, not anymore. If she still wanted the annulment, I would give it to her.

  Her face contorted in pain, and my heart twisted. If it killed me, I would do what was right for her. Guilt from the past few days ate away at me, exacerbated by the look of disappointment on Lydia’s pretty face. She should be happy. She should want a husband better than me, someone who could protect her and our little girl. I had let Lydia down, let Alexia down. They had both depended on me to protect them and keep them safe, but I had failed. Not only that, I had brought this whole situation down on them. If it weren’t for me, this never would’ve happened.

  With a shudder, I turned my mind to the situation at hand. Lydia looked fragile and lost sitting across from me. There was an undefinable emotion in her voice, one that damn near broke me. “Is this what you want?”

  Hell, no. I shook my head. “No. But I won’t blame you if you do.”

  Her head tipped to one side
as she contemplated me. “What if I don’t?”

  Hope curled through me, immediately followed by regret and self-loathing. Didn’t she know she was too good for me?

  “Don’t you understand?” I seethed. “You deserve better than me. I was supposed to keep you safe—keep both of you safe. Instead, I brought that crazy bitch right to your door. She came after you because of me.” I jabbed my chest with my index finger. “Me. I should have known, should have seen it coming. But I didn’t, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop her until it was almost too late.”

  I pushed out of the chair and ran both hands through my hair as I spun away from her, refusing to acknowledge the disappointment I knew I’d find in her eyes. Goddamn it.

  I flinched as a hand landed softly on my back. “Xander, look at me.”

  Her voice was firm, insistent, but I couldn’t... I just couldn’t do it. If I did, I would break. I didn’t deserve her. I shook my head. “No, Lydia.”

  “Xander.” More forceful this time, I shook my head, trying to drown her out. But she wouldn’t be ignored. Her hand trailed along my side, as if she couldn’t bear to lose contact with me for even a moment as she ducked beneath my arm and stepped in front of me. Curling her tiny hands into the fabric of my shirt, she began to speak.

  “You didn’t bring this into our lives—Gwen did. She devised this horrible scheme by herself—not you. None of this was your fault. You can’t be responsible for everything that happens around you. And you especially can’t rationalize someone like her.” She tightened her fists, pulling my shirt more tightly across my body. “She had everyone fooled—you, me, the police—every single one of us. I worked with her every day and I never would have guessed she was behind it.”

  The entire time she spoke, I kept my gaze fixed to the wall above her head. I couldn’t let her see the guilt I felt swirling inside me. But somehow, hearing her try to justify it helped. She had forgiven me when I hadn’t been able to forgive myself.

  Dropping my gaze, I lowered my hands to my sides. I ached to pull her into my arms, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not yet. “Liddy...”

  “Xander. Listen to me.” Gray eyes peered up at me, a fierceness in their depths. “You were amazing. Even when I lost my mind, you stayed calm and did what needed to be done. I’ll never be able to thank you for that.”

  I swallowed hard. “You never should have had to go through that.”

  “But you’re missing the important part, Xander. I didn’t go through it alone. You were there—the whole time, you were there supporting me when I couldn’t do it myself.”

  This time, I couldn’t tamp down the urge. I grasped her hips and pulled her against me with a gentle tug. Her hands unfurled from my shirt and slipped around my lower back, holding me tight. Needing her even closer, I looped one arm around her back. The other went to her temple, careful to avoid her injury, and I pressed her head to my chest. “I never want to let you go, Liddy. I did it once... I don’t think I can do it again.”

  “Then don’t.” Her words rumbled against my heart, and I slid my fingers into her hair, using a gentle pressure to ease her head back.

  I stared down into those gorgeous gray eyes. “What does that mean?”

  “It means I want you to stay. I resisted initially because...” She trailed off and bit her lip, “I resisted it because I knew no one else would ever compare to you.”

  Her confession brought a smile to my lips. “Are you telling me you love me, Lydia?”

  Her cheeks flamed bright red, and she dipped her head, but I wasn’t letting her hide anymore. Sliding my left hand beneath her chin, I lifted her face to mine. I waited a beat to make sure she was looking at me—really looking at me—before speaking.

  “I hope that’s what you’re saying. Because I love you. I’ve been crazy about you since the moment we met, and being with you these past few weeks has only made me love you more.”

  Joy lit her face as a smile spread over her mouth. “I love you, too.”

  Not wasting another second, I bent and pressed my lips to hers. It was hard and fierce, me claiming her mouth so she’d never want anyone else.

  Her gaze darted back to the counter, and worry flickered in her eyes. “So, what do we do about...”

  I set her away from me and grabbed the papers off the table. Why had I ever tried to walk away from this woman? I held them up to her. “Last chance, beautiful. Say the word and you’re mine forever.”

  She bit her lip, looking unsure as hell. “I just want you.”

  As she watched, I ripped the papers down the middle and tossed them in the trash. I turned back to her and pulled her into my arms. “Now you’ve got me.”

  She snuggled into my chest, her arms a tight band around my waist. “Forever.”

  A smile lifted the corners of my mouth at her possessive tone. “Yeah, babe. Forever.”

  Epilogue

  Lydia

  My mother’s friends milled around the impeccably manicured lawn behind her home, the heels of their hideously expensive shoes sinking into the thick grass. A smattering of applause broke out, followed by a few happy cries. I assumed my mother had Alexia entertaining people again, because I had left her with Xander and Jolene several minutes ago before coming into the kitchen to get the cake.

  Glancing out the window, I gave a little shake of my head. I didn’t know a single one of these people, yet Jolene had insisted they be here to celebrate Alexia’s first birthday with us. I pushed away my irritation. I should be glad that she at least wanted to do something for Alexia, but deep down I knew most of it was still for show.

  Xander came up behind me just as I put the single candle in place. I admired the intricately decorated cake for a moment. No homemade cakes for Jolene. In her usual fashion, she’d gone over the top and ordered a three-tiered cake from one of the city’s most prestigious bakeries. It was beautiful, but I was terrified to know what it had cost.

  I shivered as Xander dropped a kiss on the side of my neck. He spoke quietly next to my ear. “Do you want the good news first or the bad news?”

  My heart sank as I turned to face him. Alexia was cuddled high up on his chest, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder. As long as Alexia was safe, I didn’t really care about anything else. Still, today wasn’t a day for bad news. “Give me the good news.”

  He tipped his head toward the backyard. “The caterer said everything was going well, and she’s packing up for the day. Everyone loved the food and sends their thanks.”

  At least that had gone well. “And the bad news?”

  “Your mother’s boyfriend showed up.”

  My eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Um... Okay?”

  “Well...” He drew out the word, a tiny smirk lifting the corners of his mouth. “He may or may not have just proposed to her in front of everyone.”

  I blinked up at him. “He proposed to her? Here?” I couldn’t keep the disbelief out of my voice. “At our daughter’s birthday party?”

  I knew I sounded like an idiot, but I couldn’t help it. Who did that?

  “On the bright side,” Xander continued, “you didn’t miss much. And if it’s any consolation, with her track record, it’ll probably happen again in another three years or so.”

  And just like that, my irritation was gone. His dry sense of humor never failed to lift my spirits, and I was incredibly thankful he’d come back into my life. I couldn’t help but grin at Xander’s wry comment, and I delivered a little slap to his upper arm. “You’re terrible.”

  He shrugged one shoulder. “Just honest.” His gaze darted toward the elaborate cake, then back to Alexia. “There’s something I want to talk to you about later.”

  I swallowed, suddenly nervous. “What is it?”

  “Now’s not the time or place.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Just something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.”

  Over the next few hours, worry and doubt plagued me. By the time I put Alexia to bed,
I was ready to rip my hair out. I went in search of Xander to get some answers and found him in our bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, and his gaze lifted to mine when I entered the room. I paused in the doorway as I took in his expression. There was worry in his eyes, a vulnerability I’d never seen before.

  “Come here, darlin’.”

  He opened his arms to me, and I went to him, simultaneously wanting to get this over with and avoid the conversation altogether. He enfolded me in a tight hug, his face pressed to my chest. In moments like these, I swore I would do anything for him if he would just hold me like this forever. Angling his head up at me, he framed my face in his hands and pulled me down for a kiss, stealing my breath and my sense. He tipped us backward so we were sprawled on the bed, his mouth never leaving mine. He propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at me.

  “Are you happy?”

  I froze, swallowing hard. Was this a trick question? “Yes?”

  It was more a question than a statement, hoping it was the answer he was looking for. It was also true. I’d never been more content in life than I was right now. Though I’d fought it so hard in the beginning, Xander was everything I needed and more. He was an amazing lover, a fantastic husband, and a wonderful dad. I couldn’t ask for more. But the deep line between his brows worried me.

  Xander nodded, his fingers trailing lightly up and down my arm.

  Worry tightened my stomach. Did he not feel the same? “Why?”

  His hand moved to my belly, teasing the skin above my waistband, then moving upward toward my navel. “I’ve been thinking,” he said as he splayed his hand over my stomach. “How would you feel about... you know... another one?”

  It took a moment for my mind to make the connection. Another baby? I automatically pressed one hand to my midsection, right over his, as if I could feel the phantom life growing inside me. Xander’s huge hand slipped from beneath mine and wrapped around the back of my neck, directing my gaze to his.