by Mona Love
We all laughed, and they sent me on my way. I didn’t think I had ever been as nervous as I was in that moment. I took one last long look at myself in the mirror before I stepped out of my door. I exhaled and prayed for the best.
Chapter 9
Love’s Got Everything to Do with It
My first date with Andre was like nothing I’d experienced before. His conversation was authentic. His manners were ever present. And although he knew I was the millionaire, he still paid the bill. This man was amazing in so many ways it scared the shit out of me.
“So did you enjoy yourself?” Andre asked as he walked me to his car. Of course I blushed. Plus my cheeks were already aching from smiling so much throughout the night.
“I sure did. You’re the best company I’ve had in a long while,” I replied, being totally honest with him. “I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a man about my childhood, much less about my dreams and the things I want to see happen in the world. I think the quality of the conversation was the best part of this night.”
“I agree,” Andre said. “I still don’t believe you were bullied in school, though,” he laughed.
“What? Please believe it,” I said, laughing too. “It was the worst time of my damn life.” I shook my head.
“Damn. Well, at least you don’t have to go through that ever again. Not with me around,” he said sweetly.
I blushed again.
“I just don’t want this night to end,” Andre said, making a playful sad face.
I tilted my head and smiled bashfully. “There’s always tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and all of the days of the future,” I said, boldly letting Andre know I definitely wanted to see him again.
“For sure. So where to tomorrow?” he asked and winked at me.
“Hmm. Let me see,” I joked, tapping my pointer finger against my forehead like I was thinking hard.
Andre and I stood outside of the restaurant talking. The night breeze wrapped around us like a love cocoon. It was the most perfect date I’d ever been on.
“You know, we’ve spoken about everything except what you do for a living,” I said.
“I was waiting for you to ask me that,” he replied. “I am an investment banker and financial planner. I never said, because you never asked. And honestly, after you told me about your windfall, I didn’t bring it up because I never wanted you to think I was interested in your money. I don’t need to be,” Andre said sincerely.
I smiled. I was too dumbstruck to speak.
“Is that going to be a problem for you?” Andre asked.
“No. Definitely not. I was just . . .” I was saying when suddenly my voice caught in my throat. I sucked in my breath as I saw Tony, a blast from my past walking toward me, smiling.
“Keisha!” Tony yelled, walking fast straight toward me. “Keisha, my love.” I couldn’t react fast enough. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t believe it either.
“Keisha, Keisha! My little freak-a,” Tony called out.
Andre stepped in front of me, shielding me with his body. I was dizzy and embarrassed. I’d done things with Tony that would make my mother hide under a bed.
“Aye, man. She’s out with me,” Andre said levelly. Tony had stopped directly in front of Andre.
“What? Who the fuck are you? That’s my girl,” Tony spat, standing almost toe-to-toe with Andre.
Andre put his hand up in front of him, palm facing Tony, to halt him. “Your girl? I don’t know about all of that,” Andre said evenly and then turned a little toward me.
I couldn’t speak. All sorts of shit played out in my mind about Tony. He could ruin this for me. I was mortified but stuck. I wanted to chase him away, but it was like I’d lost my voice.
“Keisha!” Tony called out, trying to look around Andre at me. “You really going to stand there and let this nigga keep me from talking to you? After all the shit we been through? After all the shit I got on you?” Tony shouted.
The home porn movie we’d made immediately popped into my head. I shuddered. Suddenly my teeth started chattering together loudly.
Andre bit down into his jaw. He took a few steps forward, moving closer to Tony. “Look, as you can see, she don’t want to speak to you. Move around,” Andre said, pushing Tony forcefully in the chest. “Leave her alone.”
“Fuck you.” Tony swung his fists toward Andre’s face. Andre pivoted smoothly, causing Tony to miss.
“You asked for it,” Andre said, his voice still calm. He grabbed Tony’s shirt collar with his left hand and raised his right fist.
“No! Don’t!” I suddenly came alive. I didn’t know why, but I grabbed Andre’s arm, preventing him from punching the shit out of Tony. “Stop!”
Andre flexed his jaw and exhaled loudly. He looked at me strangely.
“Let him go,” I whimpered. “It’s my fault anyway. Just let him go. I don’t want nobody fighting over me.”
Andre and Tony both looked at me with confusion painting their faces. Andre shook his head and released Tony with a hard shove.
Tony started laughing.
“You thought she was going to choose you over me? She still wants me. I know she does. She always will,” he yelled out.
Andre turned to me with a pained looked on his face. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. I was embarrassed, mortified, and devastated all in one. Needless to say, my date with Andre ended terribly. He didn’t say another word to me all the way back to my house. He was still a gentleman about things and walked me inside, but I just knew I had blown my chance with the only man I felt genuinely cared about me.
* * *
I spent the next ten days calling Andre and leaving apology messages. I had really messed things up for us. On day eleven, Andre finally stopped sending my calls to voicemail.
“Hello?” Andre answered, his tone flat.
“Hey,” I sang, my nerves erasing everything I had rehearsed to say.
“Is there something you needed? You’ve been calling a lot,” Andre said hesitantly.
Damn. He wasn’t feeling me. I closed my eyes and slumped back onto my bed. “Andre, I’m really sorry about what happened,” I said sincerely.
Andre didn’t say anything.
“It wasn’t like I was choosing Tony over you. I just got caught off guard by his presence. He was someone from my past who, um . . . I don’t even know how to explain it. I don’t want him and I never will. I just didn’t want to see anyone get hurt. You have so much to lose. I didn’t want to be the cause of that. If you had actually punched Tony . . .” I was saying.
“Be honest with yourself, Keisha. You stopped me because you still have some semblance of feelings for that guy,” Andre said.
I swallowed hard but was silent.
“That’s what I thought. I have to go,” Andre said, disappointment evident in his tone.
“No! Wait!” I yelled into the phone. I couldn’t let him hang up. I couldn’t let him get away. “I don’t have feelings for Tony, but I also never had two men interested in me at the same time like that. When you grow up fat and you believe all of your life that you’re not worthy, a situation like that will leave you dumbfounded. I was completely frozen with shock. Look at you: a fine, successful man. Why would I think you’d ever fight over me, a desperate fat girl? I finally jumped in the middle because I didn’t want any harm to come to either one of you, but I am not in love with him. I never was. I am in love with you, Andre. I want to be with you, and I know that now,” I said honestly. My voiced cracked and the tears finally came rushing down my face.
“You’re the one I want to get to know better. You’re the one I want to . . . to start over with,” I confessed, warm relief washing over me. It was so freeing to get that off my chest. I wasn’t going to play hide the ball anymore. I was going to go after what I wanted. Almost losing Andre for good like that was the biggest wakeup call I could’ve ever received. Fuck it! I wanted to be with him, and I wasn’t going to pretend anymore. The experience w
ith him was much different than anything I’d ever experienced with other men.
“Let’s get together and speak about all of this in person,” Andre said.
My eyes lit up, and I popped up and danced around my bedroom. “Yes. That sounds like a plan,” I said excitedly.
Andre laughed. I did too.
That was the beginning.
* * *
Six months later, Andre and I were inseparable. I let out a small gasp as my body became engulfed in the heat of desire. I reached down and pinched my own erect nipples, sending an electric sensation flooding all over my body. The combination of what was going on below my belly button and the pressure I was putting on my nipples was almost too much to handle.
“Oh, God,” I whispered lustfully, lifting my hips slightly off the bed toward Andre’s mouth. “Don’t stop,” I urged.
Andre thrust his long, wet tongue deeper into my center. He used his hands to gently part my labia and carefully lapped up every bit of my juices.
I’d had plenty of good sex in the past, but with the way Andre took his time, loving every single inch of my big body, he was by far the best.
Andre moved the tip of his tongue up, putting pressure on my clit. Then he buried his face so deep my love juices soaked his lips and chin.
“Shit!” I shouted out and placed my hands on the top of Andre’s head so he wouldn’t stop. “Right there!” I screamed. My inner thighs vibrated from the explosion of pleasure filling my body. I could feel the pressure building in my loins just on the verge of climax.
“I’m right there,” I panted, shifting against his mouth. Andre stopped abruptly and lifted his face from between my legs. My eyes popped open. “Don’t stop. Please.”
Andre looked at me with a grin on his lips. “Beg for it,” Andre whispered, crawling toward me like a lion on the hunt. He used one of his strong, muscular legs to gently part mine. As he positioned himself to enter me, he buried his face in my neck.
I let out a windstorm of breath from the mixture of pleasure and pain as Andre used his thick, throbbing dick to enter me. My slippery walls responded immediately, pulsating and squeezing him tight.
“I fucking love you, Keisha,” he huffed in my ear. The heat of his breath sent heated sparks down my spine. I arched my back in response. For a quick second, Malek’s face passed through my mind. He’d said the same things at the same times. I quickly shook it off. I couldn’t ruin things between me and Andre again. I wouldn’t let any intrusive thoughts fuck up what we had built so far.
“Shit,” I gasped, losing my breath as Andre slowed down and began grinding into me slowly.
I knew Andre loved me. Andre stood by my side every time one of my money-hungry exes showed up. After Tony, there was Keith. That stalker had been searching all over to find me. When he finally did, he’d started following me and actually stalking me. Keith wasn’t even one of my memorable exes at that. He’d gotten busted by his baby’s mother and dragged away like a little kid. That hadn’t stopped him from pursing me, though. Andre had dealt with Keith’s death threats against him. Andre even suggested that I relocate.
Honestly, Andre had been nothing short of a miracle, if you asked me. Through it all, Andre never gave up on me.
I knew that most men in Andre’s shoes would have walked away without a backward glance. I had a lot of baggage, but Andre stuck around.
And I finally felt comfortable letting go and letting someone love me.
* * *
I stood at the end of a beautifully decorated aisle on the white sandy beaches of Jamaica. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, looking down at my custom-made Swarovski-crystal-covered gown. I was still in awe that I, Keisha Long, the fat girl who everyone thought would always be in the friend zone, was getting married to the man of my dreams.
Finally, the low hum of my favorite wedding song, “You” by Kenny Lattimore, filtered through the outdoor speakers. That was my cue.
My mother grabbed my hand and smiled at me. I’d decided to let her give me away since I didn’t have a father and I knew my mother’s lifelong dream was to walk down an aisle at a wedding.
“Thank you for giving me away, Mom,” I whispered.
“Thank you for including me,” she said back. I could tell she was choking back tears just like I was. Happy tears.
I smiled, and my mother gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“You look so gorgeous, Keisha. I am so proud of you.”
That’s all she wrote. The tears danced down my face at her words. I never thought she’d say those words to me. My life had certainly come full circle.
“All right. Here we go.”
I looked down at my custom-made gown. The beautiful pearls glinted in the sun. I took that as a sign of God’s grace. I deserved to have this fairy-tale day. I finally believed that I deserved it.
I sucked in my breath and watched the ocean waves in the distance. The sound seemed to be calling me forward. Red rose petals dotted the path in the center aisle, and huge seashells hung at the ends of each row of guest chairs. It was dreamy. It was all I had imagined as a little girl when I’d pray and pray for a good husband.
With my hand clasped with my mother’s, we inched our way down the sand, both of us smiling so hard it hurt. Gasps of amazement rose and fell among the guests. I was the happiest I’d ever been in my entire life. I saw Leitha smiling and crying at the same time as she waited for me to reach the beautifully decorated arch that would serve as our alter. She mouthed the words “I love you,” and I did it back.
But nothing took my breath away more than when Andre stepped into the aisle to meet me. He wore a smile that lit my heart afire. He looked so handsome in his tan linen suit. I swear, in the light of the sun, Andre looked like a god. He was my god, and I was his goddess. Andre took his rightful place at my side. I looked over at him, and he smiled at me. He reached out and playfully touched my nose. That was our thing, our love signal. I giggled.
“Shall we begin?” the officiant said, opening his leather-bound Bible. I didn’t bow my head like everyone else. I kept my eyes on my future husband. I never wanted to take my eyes off of Andre again in life.
It wasn’t long before I heard the words I’d been waiting my whole life to hear. “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”
Cheers erupted from the crowd of guests in attendance.
Andre beamed. “It’s time for me to kiss my bride,” his cool peppermint breath whispered on my lips. I gladly welcomed his tongue into my mouth for a long, passionate seal of our vows. More cheers arose. We reluctantly disengaged from each other to acknowledge the crowd.
A perfectly pink blush colored my cheeks. Joy permeated my entire body. The bones in my face ached from grinning. I felt as if all the struggles in my life had led me to that moment in time.
Andre didn’t try to play it cool like most grooms. He simply beamed with pride and happiness. That made my heart full. As we slowly made our way down the aisle, he squeezed my hand reassuringly. The guests, seated on either side of the decorated path, blew bubbles at us. Even that had come out just like I’d imagined it when I was planning my wedding.
“Wait right there. Hold that pose!” the photographer called out us. “Kiss her,” he instructed, hoisting his camera to eye level to ensure he captured the exact moment our lips met.
Andre and I turned to each other on cue and again out tongues engaged in another intimate dance. The photographer’s flash sparkled, and the crowd erupted in another round of cheers. It was truly the perfect wedding.
“Walk slowly forward now,” the photographer instructed. I hooked my arm through Andre’s. We were bombarded by guests eager to snap photos of us. Andre waved like a politician, and I flashed a perfectly even white smile.
“One more!” the photographer shouted, jutting his camera forward for a close-up. We faced each other, our happiness so palpable it hung over us like an iridescent bubble. This time Andre kissed me on the nose. I giggled at his playfuln
ess. Life was perfect, just like the day.
* * *
“Here, girl,” Leitha huffed as she rushed into my and Andre’s new house. “I got here as fast as I could. Shit, you need to move back to Brooklyn. This shit here is too far,” she continued.
“Ugh,” I grumbled impatiently. “I am on pins and needles. I don’t even know if I’m coming or going,” I replied honestly.
“Well, shit, take this damn thing and get to it,” she said.
I snatched the little drug store bag from her hand and rushed into one of the many bathrooms in my house. My hands trembled like crazy as I tried to get the package open. It probably didn’t help that my heart felt like it was about to bust out of my damn chest. My nerves were so on edge I couldn’t keep still. After struggling with the damn package, I finally lifted it to my mouth and bit it open. I stared at the shit for a few minutes, swallowed the bile that had crept up my throat, and got down to business.
This is a happy time. No matter what the outcome, Keisha, you are happy. Remember. You are happy.
I looked down at the little blue and white contraption in my hand and then at myself in the mirror. Was I even worthy? Would Andre be supportive or happy? Were we ready for this? Oh, God, here came the self-doubt. I swallowed hard.
“Here goes nothing,” I murmured. I squatted and released my bladder.
I placed the test on the side of the sink and refused to look at it. Leitha kept on knocking on the door until I finally let her ass in. We both paced around. She seemed more damn nervous than I was.
Leitha looked at her watch. I could hear her mumbling and counting the time.
“Damn it,” I huffed. “Stop counting. You are making me crazy,” I said.
My nerves were already on edge. I couldn’t wait the two minutes. I rushed to the sink and picked up the test.
I sucked in my breath and threw my hand over my mouth. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes.