by Mona Love
“Do you have another card? This one is not working,” the cashier told Secret.
Secret crinkled her face in confusion and looked at the girl like she was crazy. “What do you mean, not working? That is a debit card connected to my bank account. It can’t be declined,” Secret replied, chuckling sarcastically and nervously at the same time. She knew there was money in the bank. David made a decent salary so there was no way their account could be so low or empty that her card would be declined.
“It’s saying declined,” the girl replied, annoyed.
“Swipe it again then,” Secret growled, urgency lacing her words. She felt flushed as the heat of embarrassment began to rise from someplace deep, up her neck, and across her face.
“Miss, I have swiped it at least six times. It is denied,” the girl snapped, putting emphasis on “denied.”
There were people grumbling in line behind Secret. The kids had already bitten holes into the candy wrappers, trying to open the candy. DJ had even gotten a piece through one of his little teeth holes and started eating it, which meant Secret had no choice but to pay for it. Her heart started racing, and sweat dripped down her back as she dug into her bag, trying to scrape up enough cash to at least pay for the candy. Secret didn’t have credit cards or any other bank cards. David had given her one card and one card only: the debit card associated with their joint account. This had never happened to Secret in her life. Even when she considered herself dead broke, she had always known her spending limits.
“I don’t know what could’ve happened. I have money in my account,” Secret croaked nervously as she handed the girl a bunch of change she had dug up out of her purse. The cashier looked at her like she was crazy. “That is for the candy. I don’t have enough for the groceries,” Secret said on the brink of tears. Embarrassed and wanting to melt away, Secret frantically took the bags out of the shopping cart and set them on the floor. People behind her mumbled and made mean comments.
When she was finished, Secret pushed her shopping cart out of the store at top speed. She raced over to her car, loaded the kids into their car seats, and got in. Flustered, Secret pulled out her debit card and examined it. On the back, she located a 1-800 number for the bank’s customer service line, and she dialed it.
Secret pressed through the automated system and waited for a representative. When one was finally on the line, Secret began screaming at the woman about how the bank had wrongfully denied her charges. Secret wouldn’t let the woman get a word in edgewise. When the woman finally got Secret to calm down, she said something that Secret thought would send her over the edge.
“Mrs. Johnson, your joint account owner has emptied this account and closed it. That is the reason you were unable to make a purchase today,” the customer service representative said in the light, airy voice they all used when trying to keep calm with irate customers. The words seemed to explode inside of Secret’s ears like small bombs.
“What? I don’t under . . . understand. Wouldn’t we both ha . . . have to agree to close it?” Secret cried into the phone in total disbelief.
“No, ma’am, I’m afraid not. When the account was opened, a Mr. David Johnson added himself as the sole signature authority, and you were just an additional cardholder. That means he had all the power over the account, and all you had authority to do was purchase with the card you were issued and make deposits. That is the way Mr. Johnson set up the account,” the woman said empathetically. She could hear in Secret’s voice that things weren’t going so well.
“Thank you,” Secret replied, almost whispering, and she hung up. “Why, God? What did I do to deserve this?” Secret sobbed. She realized then that David was playing for keeps. He had left her with nothing, literally.
Chapter 6
Secret rushed into her house and slammed the door behind her. She let the kids run around, and she raced around the living room. Sweating like she’d run a race, she stormed into her kitchen. Heart hammering, she snatched up the neglected pile of mail that had amassed since David had left. Breathing through her mouth, Secret shuffled the deck of letters. As she scanned each one, weak, she flopped down into one of her metal-back kitchen chairs.
“‘Late payment notice.’ ‘Final notice.’ ‘Overdraft notice,’” Secret read off one by one. “No!” she screamed, sending the letters sailing all over the kitchen table and floor.
“How could you leave me fucked up like this? You said you would take care of me. What am I supposed to do now? You promised I would never have to worry.” Secret cried out into the air as if David were standing right in front of her.
David had told her more than once he would take care of her. After he’d gotten into business school, graduated, and landed a good job, David had practically forbidden Secret from working. He gave her access to some of his accounts. Secret had never been able to stash money. It seemed to be the perfect situation. After all, everyone envied her life as the kept wife.
With her hands pulling at the hair on either side of her head, Secret spun around in circles. Her chest heaved as she pictured herself getting evicted from her home. There was no telling what David was capable of now.
“Agh!” Secret cried out again, flailing her arms, this time sending all of the beautiful glass canisters on the counter crashing to the shiny marble-tile floors. Each hand-painted glass container shattered into fine, misshapen shards, just like her life. Secret tore her kitchen apart until she was totally exhausted.
* * *
Secret jumped up with her body covered in sweat. She looked around for David, but all she saw were her kids. Secret could swear she could smell David in the room. But he wasn’t there, and she soon realized he hadn’t been there. She flopped back down when she realized she had been dreaming about him. David hadn’t really come running back to her.
She realized she’d been woken up by knocking. Secret was so drugged up off sedatives and painkillers she hadn’t even realized that Andrea was pounding on her door, ringing her bell incessantly, and blowing up her cell phone. When she finally came around, Secret looked over at her two kids, who were sprawled out on her bed sleeping soundly as well. She had given both of them a double dose of children’s Benadryl to put them to sleep.
Secret reached over on her nightstand and retrieved her cell phone. She picked up the line after she noticed the screen flashing Andrea’s name. Secret started not to answer, but she’d gotten over being mad at her cousin. She realized Andrea was only trying to protect her feelings by keeping that secret from her. Her cousin had never betrayed her in life, and Secret knew she wasn’t going to start now. Andrea was the only person Secret had in her corner right now.
“Hello,” she rasped into the phone. She felt like shit and really didn’t want to be bothered, but she also knew Andrea wouldn’t give up trying to get in the house.
“Secret! What the hell? You had me so worried about you and the kids! Please open the door. I’m out front, and I left my key at home! I know you’re upset, but I have to see you!” Andrea gasped.
Secret closed her swollen, red-rimmed eyes. She was in no mood for company, but she knew if she didn’t open up the door, Andrea would not leave. Secret felt a deep sense of disappointment that her dream that David had come back hadn’t turned out to be true.
As she sat up in bed, she immediately felt severe, painful pounding in her head. She felt like she had the worst hangover ever, and she didn’t even drink. She dragged herself out of bed and took the stairs one by one. Feeling slightly dizzy, Secret pulled back her front door, cringing at the sunlight she let in with her cousin.
Andrea rushed inside and grabbed Secret in a tight embrace. Andrea’s shoulders slumped in relief when she saw that Secret was alive and well. She knew that Secret had had more than one suicidal incident. Sometimes Secret was impulsive, and Andrea knew those impulses could turn dangerous.
“Don’t you ever fucking scare me like that again!” Andrea huffed.
“What were you scared of?” Secret grumbl
ed. “Shit, if I were going to off myself, I would’ve done it by now.”
Andrea didn’t answer, because that was exactly what she had been thinking. Secret didn’t return her cousin’s embrace. Instead, she let her arms hang limply while Andrea squeezed her tight.
“Like I said, don’t fucking scare me like that again!” Andrea said loudly.
“Shhh, the kids are still sleeping,” Secret whispered, her voice sounding like she had a frog lodged in her throat.
“I was so scared. Shit, the last time I saw you I swore you was going to drive off a cliff or some shit. You better always let me know where you are. Anyway, I came by with some information. Look, I’ve called around to a few of my divorced friends. I got the names of two attorneys who are supposed to be the best in the city,” Andrea said, digging into her purse to retrieve business cards.
Secret dragged her feet into her living room and flopped down on her love seat. She stared at her cousin blankly. The last thing she wanted to discuss was divorce lawyers. She wished Andrea had come there to give her advice on how to get her man back instead.
“Secret, are you listening? C’mon, you got to pull yourself together and call one of these attorneys. It’s the only way you will get what you deserve for all the years you put in. You didn’t fucking practically take care of his ass for him to turn around and leave you with nothing at all,” Andrea told Secret.
She was right, but Secret couldn’t listen to reason right now. “Andrea, I don’t even have money to feed my kids. He took all of the money out of our joint account. The mortgage on this house is due. I just . . . I don’t even have money to sustain us, much less pay some expensive-ass divorce attorney to fight for some shit that ain’t mine to begin with,” Secret confessed, tears brimming her eyes. She steeled herself and took a deep breath. She knew Andrea would probably offer her money, which would just make her weepy and teary-eyed yet again. After the incident in the supermarket, Secret told herself that she would not let any more tears fall unless they were tears of joy.
“You can’t be serious,” Andrea responded. “This bastard wants to play dirty I guess. Secret, I’m telling you in New York a man can’t just walk away from his wife and take everything. I will be your witness in court. You gave up everything for your marriage. You depended on him solely for support. I’m sorry, but that bastard is going to have to fucking pay you. And he will have to take care of these children he made and just abandoned,” Andrea spat.
Secret shook her head back and forth. She didn’t know if she had any fight left in her.
“First things first, we need to go to the bank and find out exactly what’s going on,” Andrea said. “Get dressed. We’ve got work to do.”
* * *
Secret shook her legs as she kept her eyes trained on the silver-haired old man on the other side of the desk. His furrowed brows, pinched mouth, and rapid tapping on the computer keys unnerved her. Something wasn’t right, that much she could sense. With each seemingly frantic peck, the old man’s facial expression grew graver.
Secret had never been in the corporate office suites of any bank. She knew this was where exclusive, high-balance clients conducted their banking. When she and Andrea entered the bank demanding an explanation for her declined cards, she was immediately referred to the bank’s manager, who escalated her “case” up to corporate. Secret knew shit wasn’t right.
Now, with his computer screen turned so Secret and Andrea couldn’t see it, and his constant, fast finger movements on the keyboard, this man was probably about to tell her some shit she didn’t want to hear.
“Let me just try one more thing,” the old man said, popping up out of his chair. “I’ll be right back, Mrs. Johnson.”
Secret looked down at her watch. She sucked her teeth in disgust. They had already been there for forty minutes. How long does it take to find out what this bastard did to lock me out? She was having her second-worst day of the past month, second only to David’s betrayal.
The old man returned with a much younger man. The tall, pimple-faced, raven-haired man stretched his hand out toward Secret and identified himself as Mr. Bland, vice president of the branch. To her, he looked more like Mr. Bland, vice president of the student council.
“Mrs. Johnson, I’m very sorry, but all of Mr. Johnson’s regular and investment accounts with us have been closed and moved. We have no way of knowing why these accounts were moved. At Mr. Johnson’s request, these accounts were wired out to other institutions, and because he removed your rights, we cannot give you any more information. We cannot open any type of investigations because you no longer have any rights to the information. There’s not much else I can tell you,” Mr. Bland said, his protruding Adam’s apple distracting Secret’s thoughts.
Secret closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to keep her composure. “I don’t understand. My husband had hundreds of thousands of dollars in both of our names. How can I just be removed without any notice or notification? How did you all know it wasn’t all my money you let him run away with?” Secret said as calmly as her raging brain allowed. Andrea touched her arm, noticing that her cousin was on the verge of going off.
How am I supposed to live now? I gave up everything to be with him. He said he’d take care of me. Oh, my God! Secret’s stomach and mind did somersaults. “What recourse do I have?” she asked, desperation underlying her words.
Mr. Bland looked at her with sympathy. “I don’t really know,” Mr. Bland said.
“Thank you for fucking nothing,” she rasped. Secret swallowed hard, stood up as calmly as she could on her quaking legs, and allowed the young VP to escort her and Andrea out of the bank, but not before she threatened to go public with what the bank had done by letting her husband take everything from her. It had to be illegal. Judging by the time it had taken the bank personnel to tell her something as simple as David had wired all of their money out of her reach, Secret figured out that it had all been a distraction to buy time. She knew phone calls had probably been placed and that, more than likely, David would be waiting for her next move.
Chapter 7
Secret looked at herself in the mirror one last time. She looked better than she had in months. Andrea had paid for her to see two specialists who consulted about fixing her botched plastic surgeries. It was the one thing that had pulled Secret out of the deep depression she’d fallen into. Every time she looked at her scarred body she was reminded of just how much she’d sacrificed for David. Secret cringed every time she thought about waking up in the Dominican Republic in so much pain they had put a rag between her teeth to keep her screams down. She remembered touching her breasts and feeling right away that something wasn’t right. She remembered the first time she looked at her stomach, which Dr. Mungia had promised to make look amazing, and seeing that he’d left a long, ugly scar across it. Secret felt weak every time she turned around in the mirror and saw the gross protrusion behind her that was supposed to be her new ass. Admittedly, sometimes she didn’t blame David for being disgusted by her freakish body, but she expected his loyalty through sickness and health. Especially because she’d been so loyal to him. David knew damn well that the surgery was all for him.
Just like Secret had anticipated, Andrea had paid for Secret’s hair and new clothes. They weren’t the high-priced designer threads and shoes Secret was used to when she lived off of David’s money, but they would serve their purpose for her court appearance. Andrea had also fronted Secret the money for her new divorce attorney.
“You damn good, cousin. I hired a sitter to keep the kids, and I’m coming with you to court. Ew, I’m telling you, I can’t wait to look this bitch-ass nigga in his eyes and let him know that I know the real David Johnson,” Andrea said supportively, coming up behind Secret.
Secret turned from the mirror and looked at her cousin. She was so grateful to Andrea for being there for her, even after she had cursed her out at the restaurant and made a damn scene. Secret knew that without Andrea, she would’ve probabl
y fallen apart even worse than she had already. Secret looked at Andrea directly in the eyes. With a stone expression on her face, she spoke to her cousin.
“Drea, if something happens to me, I want you to be the one to take care of DJ and Bella,” Secret said solemnly, not even batting an eye. “Don’t let David raise them to be selfish and disgusting like him. I always wanted them to have better than I had. Make sure Bella knows that self-love is the best love, too. Don’t let her be weak like me.” Secret couldn’t hold back the tears. Speaking about her children always did that to her. She loved them more than life itself.
“Bitch! Where you think you going to, criminal court to be sentenced to death?” Andrea joked, trying to lighten the mood. The tension and the mood in the room were heavy and thick with sadness. “You’re going to divorce court to take that stupid, bitch-ass nigga for everything he is worth. Now stop talking all crazy and shit before I have you committed,” Andrea laughed. “You’re going to be around until those kids are old and gray. Remember, we have that whole Thelma & Louise shit planned for when we turn fifty, so your ass need to be around.” Andrea had always been good at lightening up the mood.
Secret parted a fake smile. “I mean it though. I’d rather they be dead than to ever be with him,” Secret finished, her tone serious.
“Girl, you talking mess. You’re going to be around until we are both wearing Depends and dancing at Bella’s wedding!” Andrea laughed. “Now stop all the dumb doom-and-gloom talking. I won’t have any of that shit.” Andrea grabbed Secret by the hand and walked her out of the bedroom.
The drive to court was solemn. Andrea and Secret didn’t say much, just a few comments here and there about nothing significant. Neither of them dared to bring up the topic of the divorce or David. Secret was clearly preoccupied with what was to come. She felt huge birds flitting around in her stomach, forget having butterflies.