A Wise Child

by A Wise Child (retail) (epub)

‘That’s what the nurse said,’ Nellie agreed.

  Nellie had also become closer to Gertie. Mrs Drew had been slightly better and sometimes she joined Gertie as she sat on the doorstep and even walked out with her daughter, Gertie’s arm firmly linked in her mother’s arm.

  The improvement was only temporary and one night Nellie heard sounds of screams and breaking furniture from across the road. She asked Bobby to watch over the baby and hurried across. The noises had ceased but Nellie knocked gently on the window then asked through the door, ‘Are you all right, Gertie? Can I help?’

  Gertie opened the door, looking dishevelled. ‘It’s all right, Nell. Mam had a bad turn but she’s all right now. Will you help me to settle her?’

  Nellie concealed her amazement at the state of the house and helped Gertie to lift her mother, who was slumped in the corner of the room, and settle her in the bed in the kitchen.

  Mrs Drew was breathing stertorously and Nellie looked at her doubtfully. ‘Should she have the doctor, Gert?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, but I’ll tidy up a bit first,’ Gertie said. ‘I don’t mind you seeing the mess, Nell, but I don’t want anyone else to. Mam was always so proud and dignified.’

  The leg of a small table by the window had been broken and dishes had cascaded from it to the floor and broken and the mirror above the fireplace had been shattered.

  In the back kitchen the chaos was even worse. A solid wooden chair was the only whole piece of furniture and it lay among the ruins of the stone sink. A cupboard door had been wrenched off and the contents swept to the floor.

  ‘Mam’s enormously strong when this trouble’s on her,’ Gertie said. ‘I’ll just clear the kitchen and shut the door on this and get the doctor. I’ll send Jessie’s lad for him.’

  While the neighbour’s lad went for the doctor, Gertie and Nellie swept up the broken dishes and put the shattered mirror in the back kitchen but first they attended to Mrs Drew. They had simply lifted her on to the bed and covered her with a blanket to warm her but now Gertie brought down a clean nightgown and sheets from upstairs.

  Together they removed the sick woman’s nightdress which hung in shreds, and replaced it with the fresh nightgown, while Gertie spoke soothingly to her mother.

  ‘Don’t worry, Mam. We’re just making you comfortable. Everything’s all right, Mam.’

  Nellie felt her eyes fill with tears as Gertie lovingly kissed her mother and the older woman tried to smile. Her mouth seemed twisted and when the doctor came he told them that she had suffered a stroke.

  ‘Nothing much you can do, Gertie,’ he said. ‘Just keep her warm. You’ve got a feeding cup, haven’t you?’ Gertie nodded and he said, ‘Try her with a drop of milk. She may not be able to tell you if she’s thirsty but don’t worry about food at present.’ He patted Gertie’s arm. ‘You’ve been a jewel of a daughter. Done everything possible for her.’

  Gertie went to the door with the doctor but after he left she dashed into the back kitchen. Nellie sat down beside the sick woman, smiling at her and wondering why Gertie had not returned to her, but when she heard muffled sobs from the back kitchen she understood.

  A little later Gertie came to the bedside, red eyed but composed.

  ‘Thanks, Nell,’ she said. ‘I’ll be all right now.’

  ‘I’ll help you with the back kitchen,’ Nellie said, ‘But first I’ll go over to our house and make a cup of tea.’

  Before Gertie could protest she left the house and returned shortly bearing a tray with a teapot full of tea, cups and saucers and two slices of bread and butter.

  ‘Mrs Hignett, the cook in me first place, told me you should have hot tea and a slice of bread or cake after a shock,’ she said and Gertie admitted later that she felt much better for it.

  ‘I just got upset the way the doctor spoke,’ she said. ‘As though this was the end for Mam.’

  ‘It’d be very hard for you if it was, Gert,’ Nellie said gently, ‘more so because you’ve been looking after her for so long and had so much to do for her, but maybe for your poor mam?’

  Gertie’s lips quivered but she said nothing and Nellie left her with her mother and tried to clear up the back kitchen.

  Gertie came to help and when they had done all they could Nellie went thankfully home to bed. Gertie promised to lie beside her mother and sleep and send a message to the factory that she would not be at work.

  The next morning Nellie went across to Gertie’s house as soon as she saw the curtains drawn back, to find that Mrs Drew’s condition was unchanged. Gertie said that she had been able to give her mother some milk from a feeding cup with difficulty but that she had slept for the rest of the time.

  ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said. ‘I’ll have to work to keep us. One thing, my poor mam will be easier to look after now.’

  ‘Has the doctor been back?’ Nellie asked.

  ‘No, and I don’t want him,’ Gertie said. ‘I’ve sent for my cousin to come. He’ll repair the back kitchen window and get me a new sink so no one knows what Mam was like last night. He’s a good fellow. He won’t say anything.’

  ‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of,’ Nellie exclaimed. ‘Your mam didn’t know what she was doing.’

  ‘Yes, but if the doctor seen it he might try to put her away, like,’ Gertie said. ‘One time when she’d had a spell I made the mistake of bringing a doctor in. A stranger, not Dr Wilson, and he brought a fella with a straitjacket for her, but I wouldn’t let them take her. They couldn’t do nothing because she never went out so she couldn’t be no danger to anyone.’

  Nellie impulsively hugged Gertie. ‘What a lot of worry you’ve had, Gertie love,’ she said, but Gertie shook her head.

  ‘These last few years, like,’ she said. ‘But even then we had our good times, me and Mam. Times when she was just her old self and we could have a laugh together. That’s why I couldn’t let them put her away, Nell. What if she had a good spell and realised where she was and that I’d let them do it?’

  Nellie offered help and another neighbour, Jessie, who knew only that Mrs Drew had had a stroke, offered to sit with her while Gertie worked but in the event their help was not needed. In the small hours of the morning Mrs Drew suffered another and fatal stroke.

  After the funeral Nellie often went to sit with Gertie in the evening. The cousin had taken down Mrs Drew’s bed and brought down from the bedrooms the sofa and oddments of furniture and ornaments which had been put up there for safety.

  ‘I’ll take a lodger later on,’ Gertie said. ‘But I’ll have to give myself a few months first.’

  Nellie agreed. She was surprised to find Gertie so sensible about her loss. She had expected her to be very emotional and inconsolable but she seemed to have quietly decided that death was the kindest way for her mother to avoid further suffering.

  The neighbours were all very sympathetic.

  ‘Your mam thought the sun, moon and stars shone outa you, girl, when you was little,’ Bella said. ‘Nothing was too good for you. She was a good mother and when she needed it you was a good daughter to her. You haven’t got nothing to blame yourself for and there’s not many can say that when they lose someone.’

  Nellie was still very friendly with Bella’s daughter Katy but they had spent less time together, partly because Nellie was with Gertie and partly because Katy’s eldest child Amy had started school. Katy went back and forth with her to the school four times a day in spite of her mother’s jeers.

  ‘Me mam thinks I’m coddling her,’ she told Nellie.

  ‘I don’t see why,’ Nellie said. ‘I’ll take Tommy when he starts school.’

  ‘Ma thinks I should let Amy go with the big girls from the street,’ Katy said. ‘But I remember when I first started school. Our Sophie used to run off with her mates as soon as we got out of the street and I was terrified. Didn’t know what to do when I got to school and how to get home when I came out. Everything’s going to be easier for my kids than it was for me, as much as I can make
it anyhow.’

  Nellie felt very close to Katy in their views and wondered whether she could ask her for advice about the problem of her response to Sam but it was Rose Adams who made it easy for her to discuss it.

  Nellie had confided that she was disappointed that again her period had arrived which meant that she had not conceived.

  ‘I was really hopeful because Tommy’s been weaned for so long,’ she said.

  They were sitting by the fire in Rose’s kitchen on a grey and overcast day which made the room dim and confidences easier.

  ‘Perhaps you’re too anxious,’ Rose said gently. ‘I knew a woman in Wordsworth Street who was desperate for a child, and when she gave up hope and adopted one she started with her own within months. She’d been married twelve years too.’

  ‘I was so sure this time though,’ Nellie said. ‘Sam – you know – being away so long.’ She stopped, blushing, but Rose seemed to understand.

  ‘Aye, Sam is like George. They don’t go with the foreign women. I used to think that was why I started every time George went back nearly. I’ve had three miscarriages, you know.’

  ‘So you’ve started eight times,’ Nellie said. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’

  ‘Give yourself time, love,’ Rose said. ‘Sam thinks the world of you, you know, Nellie.’

  ‘I do of Sam,’ Nellie murmured shyly.

  ‘But do you tell him?’ Rose asked. ‘He’s a real good lad, but he’s never had much affection. Knocked from pillar to post when he was a child then a hard life in that reformatory and then at sea. You should make a fuss of him, let him know that he’s loved, Nell.’

  Nellie nerved herself. ‘I feel sometimes, I want to be more like he is like when he’s very – when we’re in bed like…’ Rose said nothing and Nellie plunged on. ‘Mrs Hignett, she told me only bad girls let their feelings run away with them, like.’

  ‘But she was talking about girls who aren’t married, surely?’ Rose exclaimed.

  ‘Yes, I suppose so,’ Nellie said. ‘She said when a girl is with a young man.’

  ‘Well, she was right to warn you to watch your feelings then, Nellie, because of the risk to yourself, but I’m sure she didn’t mean when you was married, girl.’

  ‘But – but I’ve heard other people,’ Nellie said, her cheeks burning, ‘nobody seems to – to like it and get excited, like.’

  ‘Well, I do,’ Rose said roundly, ‘and so do other people but they won’t admit it. That’s because they moan about fellas giving them babies and they don’t want to admit they’re half to blame.’

  Nellie was silent with amazement and Rose said cheerfully, ‘So you give Sam a nice surprise when he comes home, girl. Let your feelings run away with you.’

  Nellie blushed and smiled and no more was said on the subject but Nellie felt even more fond of Rose. She was so nice, she thought, didn’t make me feel a fool, like. I wish I’d had a mother like her.

  Nellie was very relieved when her money came through and she was able to pay her debts. The experience had shaken her and she determined to put away a few pennies and not to buy anything but absolute necessities. No more dishes from the mug market or material for clothes for the baby or herself.

  Sam’s money would have been sufficient to keep herself and Tommy but it also had to stretch to feed Bobby and old Janey. Bobby was now indentured so his small wage as a can lad was reduced even further.

  Nellie had to help him out with clothing, usually from Cazneau Street market, which she altered and washed, and by knitting jerseys for him, often from wool unravelled from second-hand jumpers.

  She always tried to provide a hot meal when he and Janey returned from work, but it was difficult to provide sufficient. Bobby, as a growing lad, had a huge appetite and Janey watched his plate jealously and complained if her serving was less. Nellie was determined that Tommy should have an adequate amount but often her own share of the food was very small. She told herself that she needed little as she was so small and slight but she often resented Janey’s greed.

  Janey was again having her meals with the family since Sam left but there were still mysterious sounds from Janey’s parlour on the occasions when she retired there and shot home the bolts on the inside of the door. There were often raised voices too, either on these occasions or when Janey was visited by her moneylender clients but Nellie tried to ignore them.

  She had decided to be more like her brother Bobby, who sailed through life apparently without a care in the world.

  Chapter Eight

  Nellie looked forward eagerly to Sam’s return for several reasons. She crushed down the thought of the advice from Rose during the day but at night she let her mind dwell on the prospect of Sam’s lovemaking with a mixture of nervousness and longing.

  She wondered too whether this time she would conceive again. If she could have another child who resembled Tommy surely it would convince Sam that Tom was his child. Not that he ever openly doubted it. His affection for the boy never wavered but Nellie was sure that some lingering doubt, although unacknowledged and unrecognised, was at the root of his distrust and jealousy.

  Perhaps this time, especially if she showed Sam how much she cared for him, his time ashore would pass without any jealous scenes. She thought of Rose’s words about Sam’s need for affection and resolved to show him how much she and Bobby and the baby had longed for his return.

  Nellie met Buck Madden’s wife shortly before the ship was due.

  ‘Won’t be long now before they’re home,’ Jessie Maddox said. ‘Mind you, I don’t know why we should be excited about it. The fellas spend more time in the Volley than what they do with us.’

  ‘Sam played with Tommy in the backyard most afternoons,’ Nellie said shyly. ‘At least he did the last time he was home. Teaching him to kick the ball, like.’

  ‘Must want him to be a footballer,’ Jessie said. ‘I think the novelty’s wore off with Buck and our kids.’

  ‘Perhaps it’ll have wore off with Sam this time,’ Nellie suggested but Jessie laughed.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘He’s got the fellas’ ears wore out about how marvellous young Tommy is. And then Buck and our eldest lad have never got on and me other three are girls.’

  ‘I’d love a little girl,’ Nellie said wistfully.

  ‘Plenty of time yet for you, girl,’ Jessie said. ‘Be glad you’ve had a bit of a break. I’ve lost two. A lad of three and another lad at six weeks. James and Matthew, on top of the four what lived.’

  ‘How could you bear it? Losing them, I mean,’ exclaimed Nellie thinking of her own little boy.

  ‘You’ve got to bear it, girl. Just get on with it because you’ve got the others to see to, but you never really get over it. Never forget them,’ Jessie said. ‘My poor mam only reared three out of nine and me dad wasn’t no comfort to her. All he cared about was the drink. Mind you, Buck did his best for me but they can go back to sea with

  their mates and put it out of mind, like.’

  Nellie found that several seafarers’ wives felt that their return was a mixed blessing.

  ‘I dread him coming home in one way,’ a neighbour said. ‘You get enough of his pay-off from him to settle the debts and redeem the things out of pawn and the rest goes over the bar, mugging his mates.’

  Another woman agreed. ‘He’s in bed all morning then afternoon and night he’s in the Volley. I don’t get no allotment while he’s home either.’

  ‘But you’ve still got to keep them while they’re home,’ the first woman said. ‘And they want better food than what us and the kids have while they’re away. Then when the pay-off’s finished they’re scrounging off us for ale money. I’m glad to see him home but I’m always glad to see the back of him when he goes. The allotment’s not much but you get it every month.’

  ‘Aye, except when it’s held up,’ another woman said, laughing.

  Nellie hesitated. She was unwilling to seem to boast yet she felt that it was unfair to
Sam not to say that he behaved differently with money. She compromised by saying only, ‘Mine was held up this trip.’

  ‘Aye, that often happens,’ the first woman said. ‘Mind you, it’s not the fellas’ fault. It gets stopped off their money regular but we don’t get it on time.’

  Nellie felt even more loving towards Sam after these conversations and she worked hard to prepare a welcoming home for him.

  Sam arrived with gifts as usual. A silky shawl for Nellie, toys for Tommy and a clasp knife for Bobby.

  ‘I’ll give the old one money for gin,’ he told Nellie then grinned. ‘We won’t be leaving Tommy with her, will we?’

  He was delighted to see how much Tommy had grown. The child was shy at first, but when the toys were produced he was soon chattering to his father and afterwards monopolised his attention for the first few hours.

  Bobby and Janey returned and Nellie served the meal, taking Janey’s into the parlour.

  The old woman made no protest, pleased with the money Sam had given her for gin. Bobby was delighted with his clasp knife and immediately began to carve one of the pieces of wood he brought home for the fire.

  ‘Come and get your dinner. Never mind that,’ Nellie commanded.

  ‘Getting proper bossy, our Nellie,’ Bobby said to Sam. ‘Remember when she wouldn’t say boo to a goose?’

  Sam looked from Bobby to Nellie. ‘Aye, I see what you mean, lad,’ he said. ‘She’s not as quiet as she looks.’

  There was silence for a moment broken by Tommy shouting, ‘More bread.’

  Sam was about to give bread to him but Nellie put her hand over his. ‘More bread what, Tommy?’ she asked.

  ‘More bread, please,’ the child said smiling at his mother.

  ‘That’s a good lad,’ Nellie praised him.

  Sam exclaimed, ‘Listen to that, and he’s not three yet.’

  ‘I’m learning him manners,’ Nellie said. ‘You know Katy Rimmer, Bella’s married daughter, well, I’ve got friendly, like, with her. She’s got three kids and she’s learning them all to say please and thank you and that. Their Amy’s started school and the teacher said she was a nice polite child.’