A Wise Child

by A Wise Child (retail) (epub)

  ‘There’s still a bright fire and a comfy chair like Tom says you always had for his dad,’ Roz said.

  Nellie began to build up the fire and sweep the hearth. ‘I’ll have it ready just in case,’ she said and Roz was pleased to see that it had taken her mind from her worry about the meeting.

  Without saying anything to Nellie, Roz slipped out and came back with a packet of ten Woodbines and a box of matches.

  ‘How did you get them?’ Nellie said in amazement, knowing that cigarettes were now ‘under the counter’ for favourite customers.

  ‘I called in a debt,’ Roz said laughing.

  Nellie kissed her impulsively. ‘Thanks love. I was just wishing I could get them. Eh, our Tom’s a lucky lad,’ she said.

  They said nothing to Gwen about Nellie’s expected visitor when she came, in case nothing happened. Later Roz walked home with her grandmother and Nellie was sitting knitting when there was a tentative knock at the door.

  It was after eight o’clock and the blackout was so complete that when Nellie opened the door she could see no more than a tall shape. She said quietly, ‘Sam?’

  ‘Ellie,’ he said, and she stepped back into the dark hall.

  ‘Come in. I’ll have to shut the door before I switch the light on,’ she said.

  He stepped in and she turned on the dim light in the hall.

  ‘I’m sorry I’m so late,’ Sam said awkwardly. ‘The trains—’

  His voice trailed away and suddenly Nellie felt in command of the situation.

  The night was cold and wet and she said briskly, ‘Take your overcoat off, Sam, and come to the fire.’

  She led the way into the living room, hastily snatching up the Woodbines and matches and hiding them in her pocket. We’ve got a lot of talking to do before we reach that stage, she thought.

  She invited Sam to sit in the chair by the fire while she went into the kitchen to make tea, giving Sam time to adjust to his surroundings. They covertly studied each other as Nellie poured tea and she was struck as Tom had been by the marks of suffering on Sam’s face.

  The cup rattled in the saucer as she handed it to him but she was not sure whether it was herself or Sam who was trembling. ‘Tom wrote to me,’ she said. ‘He told me he met you in London and you stayed up all night talking.’

  ‘We had a lot to catch up on,’ Sam said with the ghost of a smile. ‘We straightened a few things out.’

  He put his cup and saucer down and leaned forward towards Nellie who was now sitting opposite him.

  ‘I got a lot of things wrong, Ellie,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry I left you to struggle on your own to bring him up. No money or nothing from me. You did a good job. He’s a fine lad.’

  ‘The money was the least of my worries as things turned out,’ Nellie said crisply.

  She refrained from asking why he had left, as Tom had done, but Sam said in a low voice, ‘I’m ashamed, girl. I should have known you better than to believe the tales I was told. You were well rid of me, Ellie, but I never stopped thinking about you.’

  Nellie was near to tears but she said quickly, ‘What do you mean, Sam? What tales were you told?’

  Sam was leaning forward, his hands between his knees, and he bent his head, looking shamefaced. ‘I got told all sorts,’ he said vaguely.

  ‘But tell me,’ Sam,’ Nellie insisted. ‘What were the tales exactly?’

  ‘Oh, that you were on the game and you had a fancy man,’ Sam mumbled. ‘I must’ve been out of my mind to listen to them.’

  ‘That’s what it was, Sam,’ Nellie said. ‘You were sick in mind as well as in body and they took advantage of you.’

  Sam shook his head. ‘I can’t make that excuse, Ellie. I was better by then but I got told something that knocked me sideways, but I shouldn’t have believed those tales, I should’ve known you better than that. I was just drunk and muddled and I let that tart trick me into going to Southampton.’

  Gradually they told each other their stories of those fateful days. During it Roz came home unheard by either of them, and hearing their voices through the closed door she crept silently up to her flat.

  They had been talking for hours, their chairs by this time close together and Sam holding Nellie’s hand when she said suddenly, ‘There’s something I’ve got to tell you, Sam, about when we got married. If you walk out that door I won’t blame you. I should have told you years ago and saved all this.’

  Her story poured out, about her rape by Leadbetter, her return to Johnson Street and Janey’s remedies and Janey’s scheming to marry her to Sam.

  ‘She only wanted your allotment coming in because my dad’s had stopped. Maggie Nolan told me,’ Nellie said.

  Sam clenched his fists. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Ellie? I’d have bloody killed that dirty old swine.’

  ‘That’s one of the reasons I didn’t tell you,’ Nellie said, ‘I was made up when I knew I was expecting, until Janey started hinting it might be Leadbetter’s child. When Tom was born early I didn’t know what to think. She was saying he could be Leadbetter’s born late, nine months and three weeks, but the minute I held Tom in my arms I knew he was yours, Sam.’

  Sam was filled with anguish, knowing that she must be mistaken and wondering whether to tell her or leave her in blissful ignorance of what he had been told.

  Nellie went on. ‘I know Janey must’ve said something to Charlie West and he told that lot in the Volley. That’s why they said things to you, Sam, and that’s why you were jealous too. I should’ve told you but I could never find the right time and I was afraid.’

  ‘That mate in Canada – he said Tommy was really my child whether there was a blood tie or not because I helped to rear him,’ Sam said.

  Nellie’s head jerked up. ‘So you don’t believe Tom is really your son, Sam? He is, honest. He was born early, that’s why he was so small.’

  Sam hesitated, wondering again whether he should tell her about his sterility, and Nellie chose that moment to ask what he had been told on that voyage.

  I’ll tell her, Sam decided. I want everything out in the open between us anyhow. The colour drained away from Nellie’s face when he told her.

  ‘It’s not true, Sam. It can’t be true,’ she cried. ‘Tom can’t be that fellow’s child.’

  She was so distressed that Sam crouched down beside her chair trying to comfort her. ‘It doesn’t matter, Ellie. Chancer was right. Tom’s my son because of the way we are with each other,’ but she refused to be comforted.

  ‘I don’t believe it. That doctor was wrong,’ she said. ‘He’s your son by blood. He’s got that much of you in him. The things he does and the way he’s looked after me, just the way you did when we were kids. Doctors don’t know everything.’

  Sam put his arms round her and she wept, clinging to him with her head on his shoulders. When she was calmer she still said emphatically that the doctor must be wrong.

  ‘I wish I could think they were,’ Sam said. ‘But they were clever men, Ellie. The old one backed the young one up although I think he was mad he had told me.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Nellie said stubbornly. ‘If our Tom hasn’t come from you he’s come from me being raped by that beast and that I won’t believe. Not our Tom. He might have my colouring but he’s like you in every other way.’

  Whatever response to his story Sam had expected it was not this and he could only hold Nellie and soothe her, feeling amazed and delighted at her reaction. Could it be possible that she was right? He hoped so but he was not convinced that the doctors were mistaken.

  Eventually Nellie sat up and wiped her eyes. She looked up at the clock. ‘We’ve still got a lot to talk about but we’d better leave it until tomorrow, Sam. You can stay here, can’t you?’

  ‘I haven’t booked in anywhere,’ Sam said, taking his cue from her matter-of-fact tone.

  ‘It’s late for Roz,’ Nellie said. ‘She wouldn’t stay with Gwen without letting me know.’ She went out into the hall, coming back lookin
g relieved but embarrassed. ‘She’s in. The door’s locked. She must have heard us talking and gone right up.’ She blushed. ‘The spare room’s ready,’ she said. ‘I’ll show you where it is then you can come down for some supper.’

  Sam had brought a small case and she took him up to the bedroom and showed him the bathroom.

  ‘Bit different to Johnson Street,’ he whispered.

  ‘I suppose you’ve got used to better too,’ she said quietly.

  She slipped downstairs and Sam followed her. Until now he had followed Nellie’s lead but now as she stood by the table he turned her to face him.

  ‘I’m glad to be able to stay now, Ellie,’ he said. ‘But don’t think I expect to walk back into your life. You don’t seem bitter against me but I know I can’t expect you to forget how I treated you. It’d be asking a lot to ask you to forgive me and I know it.’

  ‘There were faults on both sides, Sam,’ Nellie said quietly. ‘We both made mistakes, but I don’t forget the good things too. I think the best thing we can do is put it behind us. We both understand a lot now that we didn’t before.’

  Suddenly she was in his arms and all the reasoned arguments were forgotten. Passion swept away all the misunderstandings and sorrows and they clung together kissing as though they could never stop.

  ‘Oh Sam,’ Nellie gasped when at last they released each other. ‘I was afraid I’d be too shy to talk to you and now look at us.’

  ‘Should I still go in the spare room?’ Sam whispered.

  ‘But Roz—’ Nellie said doubtfully.

  ‘I’ll rumple the sheets,’ Sam said and suddenly they were both helpless with laughter.

  Supper was forgotten as they slipped quietly upstairs and into Nellie’s bedroom. Sam took her in his arms again, kissing her passionately.

  ‘We’ve got a lot of time to make up, Ellie,’ he murmured.

  Strangely, as they slipped into bed and into each other’s arms, neither of them gave a thought to the last dreadful night when they shared a bed. After they had made love passionately Nellie began to laugh.

  Remember, Sam, how I used to be afraid to let myself go in case you thought I was a loose woman?’ she said and Sam laughed too.

  ‘I think you’ve got over that, love,’ he said, drawing her close again.

  In the morning before he went into the other room they made love again and Nellie whispered, ‘Now, are you convinced that the doctor was wrong?’

  Sam grinned. ‘He didn’t say I couldn’t do it, love. Only that I couldn’t get results.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ Nellie said firmly and he laughed and kissed her again.

  You haven’t changed, Ellie. You’ve just added to what you were before,’ he said.

  ‘I hope you like the result,’ Nellie murmured.

  ‘Just perfect,’ he assured her, before slipping away to the other room.

  Why couldn’t it always have been like this? Nellie thought. The closeness, the easy loving, the laughter. Perhaps we needed this separation to grow away from what our lives so far had made us. For me to get away from Janey’s scheming and Sam from the things that were worrying him and making him jealous. Most of all to have time to think and to realise how much we loved each other.

  She moved over in the bed and pressed her face into the pillow where Sam’s head had lain. We’ve got the rest of our lives together now, she thought, smiling as she drifted into sleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  The next morning Roz tactfully stayed in her flat until Nellie went up to tell her that Sam had arrived and stayed the night. She blushed as she said it but Roz appeared to notice nothing.

  ‘I saw his overcoat last night so I came right up,’ she said. ‘It was a bit late for introductions.’

  ‘Come on down now and meet him,’ Nellie said. ‘Have breakfast with us,’ but Roz declined the breakfast.

  ‘I’m a bit queasy in the mornings,’ she said but she accompanied Nellie downstairs and was introduced to Sam.

  ‘I feel I know you already,’ she said. ‘I’ve heard so much about you from Tom.’

  Sam reddened with pleasure and told her Tom had talked a lot about her to him.

  Nellie and Sam were stiff and self-conscious with each other but Roz asked eagerly about Sam’s meeting with Tom and soon they were all talking freely.

  ‘Wasn’t it wonderful that Tom went to Foyle’s window just when you were there?’ Roz said. ‘The small things that can alter a person’s whole life!’

  ‘I reckon all these things are meant to be,’ Nellie said. ‘Otherwise how could people like Prudence Gilligan see into the future?’

  ‘I wish I could have got my discharge just a bit sooner,’ Roz said wistfully, ‘then I could have been in London with Tom for the book launch.’

  ‘If you had he mightn’t have met his dad,’ Nellie said. ‘He wouldn t have been walking round on his own.’

  ‘And we couldn’t have sat up all night talking,’ Sam said with a grin.

  ‘So you’re right, Mum. These things are meant to be,’ Roz said. ‘Have you made any plans?’

  Nellie and Sam looked at each other.

  ‘Not really,’ Sam said. ‘We were too busy just sorting things out. I’ve got a week off from the works.’

  ‘Then you’ve got plenty of time to plan,’ Roz said cheerfully. She stood up. ‘I’ll go up to Gran’s right away, Mum.’

  ‘Bring her back for your tea tonight,’ Nellie said and Roz promised that she would.

  After she left Nellie and Sam sat close together planning their future. Both took it for granted that they would spend it together but at one stage Sam said diffidently, ‘Are you sure that this is what you really want, Ellie? I don’t want to rush you, girl.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Sam,’ Nellie said. ‘This is what I’ve been waiting for for a long time.’

  Sam drew her close and kissed her. ‘It’s what I’ve always hoped for,’ he murmured.

  ‘Anyway we can’t part now, Sam. Not after last night,’ Nellie said and suddenly they were overcome with laughter again.

  ‘If Roz only knew,’ Nellie said. ‘The way we were sitting there so prim and proper this morning.’

  ‘I don’t care who knows,’ Sam declared. ‘We’re married, aren’t we?’

  Their practical plans were less easy to arrange, although Sam was in the mood to sweep away any difficulties.

  ‘It’ll all work out,’ he kept saying.

  They were unwilling to be parted again and they decided that Nellie would travel back to Reading with Sam and they would stay at a hotel until they could find a house or flat.

  ‘The works is just outside Reading, a place called Cunliffe,’ Sam said, ‘but I can travel in each day.’

  ‘I’ll be the talk of the place,’ Nellie said nervously but Sam told her not to worry.

  ‘It’s different to here,’ he said. ‘People don’t bother so much about each other. You’ll like Mrs Riley. She’s from Bolton.’

  ‘I won’t worry about leaving Gwen now that Roz is here,’ Nellie said. ‘In fact she’ll probably be glad to have Roz to herself. She might even stay in the house until the baby’s born.’

  They decided that Sam would arrange more time off and they would return for Tom’s leave.

  ‘I wouldn’t want to leave Liverpool altogether,’ Nellie said but Sam reassured her.

  ‘I’ll sort something out, don’t worry. I can get a job here until I start my own place. What I’ve done there I can do in Liverpool. I know how to go about it now and I’ve got the contacts and I’ll have some capital.’

  ‘But what about your partner?’ Nellie asked.

  ‘I won’t let him down but I’ve been thinking. You know I told you Stan’s son has been injured and discharged from the army? He’s getting round fine on that artificial foot and he was just out of his time in a drawing office when he went into the army. He can take over what I do and it might solve a problem for them too. He was a sergeant in the army so he’ll know how to hand
le the men too.’

  The weather was again cold and wet but all they wanted to do was talk. Sam built up the fire and Nellie brewed a pot of tea and they talked, catching up on all that had happened to them since they parted.

  Nellie was pleased to be able to tell Sam that Harriet was not her mother.

  ‘Although, mind you, she was Bob’s, Janey told me. I never said anything to him though,’ Nellie said. ‘Least said soonest mended.’

  ‘You wouldn’t want to tell him he was only your half-brother,’ Sam agreed. ‘What made his hair go grey?’

  ‘I don’t know. He had a lot of trouble with Meg being sick then dying, poor girl, but I didn’t think he was the kind to be worried enough to turn his hair grey. You never know with people though, do you?’

  ‘Could be a family thing like some men in a family all go bald early,’ Sam said.

  ‘We’ll never know about that,’ Nellie said grimly. ‘Seeing how Janey nearly left it too late to tell me anything.’

  ‘What a turn-up about your ma though,’ Sam said. ‘And that wicked old bitch kept it to herself all those years.’

  ‘She told me all sorts of things about the neighbours that I didn’t want to know when she was dying and not enough of what I really wanted to know,’ Nellie said.

  She had decided that she would say nothing to Sam about what Janey had said about his family, although they decided that everything must be open between them. The old woman could have been wrong, although when Sam spoke of his mother’s constant harping on bad women in ports Nellie wondered whether Janey might not have been right. There was no point in telling Sam.

  He was not affected, being born before his father’s illness, and he would only be hurt by the knowledge. Nellie felt protective towards Sam, realising how vulnerable he was under his tough exterior.

  Roz came back in the late afternoon with her grandmother and Gwen and Sam took to each other at once. He appreciated her common sense and her forthright comments and realised that she was a good friend for Nellie to have.