She’ll Stitch You Up

by B K Baxter

  “Certainly. I think it’s about time some of our other guests arrive, and by the smell of the air, the rain will be coming before we know it.”

  “You can smell the rain on the air?” asked Ethel, her eyes widened with amazement.

  “Oh yes, I’m very close to the earth,” she said. “It’s always been a passion of mine—I guess you could say—staying in tune with nature.”

  Velma looked past the trees to the drop-off that went to the creek. The property was a sight to behold.

  “This is such a beautiful place and so close to nature. You’d think my Everett would have a much better appreciation for it.” Alice turned on another smile.

  “I see,” said Ethel, who grabbed Velma’s arm as Alice led them inside. She let the young woman get ahead a bit and turned to give Velma a worried look. “Do you think we’re tracking Loretta in on the carpet?”

  Before Velma could answer, Alice reached up and petted another deer head that was hanging in the hallway. “Beautiful creatures, aren’t they? Though I much prefer them in the wild, alive and free.” She sighed and continued down the hall.

  “It must bother you to see the animals in the front room,” said Velma. The girl seemed too much like a nature nut to appreciate Everett’s collection.

  “It’s a sin and a shame, isn’t it? I mean, I guess it’s to some people’s tastes, but I see it as a grave sin against nature, hunting for sport. I’ve asked Everett to stop, but you know how men are. They want their trophies the size of their egos.”

  “My Alfred never was much of a hunter,” said Ethel. “He preferred fishing.”

  Alice seemed to force a smile. “Everett wanted to serve fried catfish tonight.” She rolled her eyes. “But we finally compromised on something a little less family reunion.”

  Velma could appreciate a good fish fry and wondered if the meal would be vegan.

  Alice slapped on a goofy grin as Everett called her name. “Alice, our guests are arriving, dear.” He walked to the door with a drink in his hand, and Reeves, who looked like he was already tuckered out from all the back and forth, went out to park another car.

  Just then, lightning crackled across the darkening sky. “Oh my,” said Ethel. “I do hope that stops by the time this is over.” She had always hated driving in the rain, and Velma hated to ride with her in it, especially since neither of them had perfect eyesight anymore and could barely keep the Buick on the road on a dry day.

  “I’m sure it will be just fine,” said Velma, trying to convince herself. “This will blow over in no time.” Just then, the lights flickered, and Alice gave a little shriek. Luckily, they didn’t go out, but as thunder rumbled in the distance, an ominous hush fell over the room.

  “I’m afraid you’ve picked a horrible night to have this party,” said Mayor Sheffield. “I suppose we’ll have to make the most of it. At least we have plenty of spirits.” He rattled the ice in his bourbon and gave Ethel and Velma a smile.

  “Spirits?” asked Ethel, her shoulders coming up around her ears as she looked up to the ceiling as if a ghost were going to swoop down and say “boo”.

  “He’s talking about booze, Ethel. Alcohol. And isn’t this just perfect? Just the place I want to be, Ethel. Stranded in a rainstorm with the likes of these people.” The only person half-decent was Alice, and Velma had heard enough of her sappy nature crap to last her the rest of her miserable life.

  Soon, more cars arrived, and the guests crowded in the doorway, ducking the rain that had begun to fall. Everyone chattered excitedly over the weather, but the mood in the room turned more anxious with each crack of thunder.

  Velma sighed. “I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.”

  Chapter 9

  The smell of perfume and cologne hung heavily in the air, stinging Velma’s nose as the first of the new arrivals, Harrison Spoke, walked into the room, shaking off his coat. He was a tall, dapper man in his early sixties, with dark hair that was gray on the side with enough salt and pepper to season a roast.

  Ethel’s heart raced. “Lord in heaven. That’s a fine man.” She swooned, fanning herself as if it weren’t obvious that she had the hots for the man.

  “Easy, Ethel. He’s too young for you.” And way out of your league.

  The man smiled at them and walked over to make his own introduction since the hosts were busy with the next guests and still gathered at the front door. “Hello, Ladies. I’m Harrison Spoke.”

  “Velma Harmon, and this is my sister-in-law, Ethel.”

  “I’m a widow to her late brother Alfred,” she clarified. “A single widow woman, looking for love.”

  Velma gave her a hard elbow to her side.

  “Well, it’s an honor, ladies.” He made himself at home with the mayor, who stood at the bar pouring up another drink. “I think I’ll have one of those, if you don’t mind sharing, Mayor.”

  “He’s got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen,” said Ethel, quickly stammering over her next words. “Aside from Alfred, of course.”

  “Of course,” said Velma, rolling her eyes. It wasn’t the first man to draw Ethel’s attention since her brother’s passing. In fact, Velma had grown used to it. But Harrison Spoke was a bit of a big deal around town, and everyone in Bliss knew that he and Everett Gaines had an ongoing contest to see who could one-up the other.

  It happened every year at the big charity gala, with the money pouring in simply from the two trying to outdo the other. They both had ever-growing houses as well as bank accounts, and while both were in the oil business, it was well known that Everett had Harrison by a few million, easily.

  The man quickly turned his attention to the other side of the room, but Ethel remained mesmerized by the man.

  Velma rolled her eyes. “You’re as boy crazy as you were in school.”

  “And maybe you should be, too” said Ethel, pointing to the front door.

  Velma turned around to see an older man stepping into the room. He was dressed in a suit, but unlike the other guests, Velma didn’t know who he was. He stood speaking with Everett and Alice and had a big smile for the younger woman.

  “I don’t know him. Do you, Ethel?” Velma’s eyes narrowed as she looked down at his brown shoes, which stood out next to his black pants.

  “I don’t know him. Maybe he’s new to town. You should offer to show him around sometime.”

  “The man is not a day over fifty-five. He’s practically a pup compared to us.”

  “You’re not that old, Velma. And besides, age is just a number, and some men like older women.”

  “Not as old as us, you goof. We’re way past our cougar years. The closest thing I’ll get to being a cougar are those tacky leopard-print socks Landon Jr. bought me last Christmas.” She eyed the man, still wondering who he was. “I expected to see a lot of people we know, considering this is for the Beautification Committee, so why would a total stranger to town be invited? Aren’t we all supposed to be donors?”

  “Those socks were a thoughtful gesture,” Ethel said in a defensive tone. “As for the man, maybe he’s here with someone? I came as your plus one. Perhaps he did the same.”

  The man walked into the room and flashed a bright smile. Velma mumbled, “Looks like we’re about to find out.”

  “Hello, lovely evening,” he said to them, turning his eyes to the other guests in the room.

  “I’ve seen better,” said Velma, offering her hand. “I’m Velma Harmon, and this is my sister, Ethel.”

  “I’m Balthazar Unker,” said the man. “A pleasure to meet you both.”

  Velma made a face. “Talk about your mouthfuls. Was your mother chewing when she named you?”

  Ethel stepped forward, putting out her hand. “I think it’s a lovely name. It’s biblical, is it not? Wasn’t that one of the three wise men? The ones who went to see baby Jesus in the manger?”

  “That’s what I’ve heard, though I don’t hold to religious nonsense. I go by Bats.” He rocked on his feet, and E
thel took a step back, dropping his hand like he’d given her cooties.

  “I’ll pray for you, Balthazar.” Ethel clutched her cross and stepped away, slowly muttering under her breath.

  “You’ll have to excuse Ethel. She’s working on her front-row seat in Heaven.”

  The man’s face turned red. “I’m sorry to offend. It was not my intention.” He walked away, leaving the women to stand there, Ethel still lost in a prayer for his soul.

  Harrison Spoke welcomed the man, and the two shook hands. It was obvious they’d met. So, she listened in to see if she could get anything out of them.

  As the men chatted, Ethel leaned in. “Can you believe that man? I will have to say an extra prayer for his soul tonight, Velma. Will you remind me?”

  “Sure, Ethel, if you’ll stop praying for every person who comes into the room. And be quiet. I’m trying to listen in.”

  Harrison Spoke seemed pleased to meet the man, who was going on about a new project in Bliss. When Velma heard the words investment, she made her way across the room, keeping her attention on a stuffed beaver. Even with a chipped tooth, the thing looked like it wanted to gnaw her leg off. Ugly-ass thing.

  She kept her ear on the conversation as Ethel took a seat.

  “This is going to be a huge opportunity for Bliss,” said Bats.

  The mayor walked over to join them. “I told Bats here that we really should wait until after the upcoming election. I can’t raise taxes to pay for the new project now.”

  “Please, you’re a shoo-in, Mayor. Not only are you the incumbent, but you’re only opponent is dead.”

  Mayor Sheffield glanced over at Velma, but she kept her attention on the ugly beaver. “Gentleman, perhaps we should discuss this another time.”

  Harrison saw Velma. “Nonsense. I bet as a concerned citizen, Ms. Harmon would love to give her input on the matter.”

  Velma turned around and pretended she didn’t know what they were talking about.

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” said Mayor Sheffield. “Ms. Harmon likes to give her two cents where it doesn’t belong.”

  “I don’t know. She sure did a good job helping our new chief with the Randy Knox case.” Harrison raised his glass to her, and Velma gave a polite nod in return.

  Bats raised a brow, and for a moment, Velma thought he might not know about the town’s recent murder.

  “Ah, I thought the name sounded familiar,” he said. “Great work.”

  “I don’t mind doing what’s best for Bliss,” she said with a humble tone. “What kind of new project are you considering?”

  Everett stuck his head in the door. “I see you gentleman are making yourself at home.” He abandoned the guests at the door and joined the other men, giving Velma a strange look as if she didn’t belong in their conversation.

  “We were just discussing the timing of the new town project,” said the mayor.

  “I’d like to have a word on that one,” said Everett, adjusting his belt. “Instead of building any new facilities, I think it would be better for the community to do an expansion on mine.”

  “That would certainly give you the upper hand when it comes to oil and profit,” said Harrison. “I think it’s a matter that deserves a vote, and I intend on bringing it up at the next city council meeting.” Harrison wasn’t a fool. He would never be able to keep up with Everett Gaines if he had the upper hand in the new project. “There are many fine facilities that could use an expansion, and if they see you getting the funds and not them, they’ll be lined up to protest.”

  “I think you’re wrong,” said Everett. “My company puts food on the tables of half the men in Bliss. Don’t be disappointed when it gets voted in.” Everett had a cocky air about him, and Velma could see the ire in Harrison Spoke’s eyes as the man continued to brag.

  “It might make better sense for me if you all waited,” the mayor said. “Hold your horses a couple of months longer, and let’s spring this expansion on the public at the first of the year.” Mayor Sheffield acted as if his word was law.

  “Unfortunately for you, Sheffield, I don’t make my plans around your terms,” Gaines said.

  Sheffield was visibly upset at Gaines. He turned up his glass and then looked out the window as the next bolt of lightning crackled.

  “Hey, hey, sexy ladies,” said a familiar voice.

  Velma turned around and saw Ray standing in the doorway to the sitting room, wearing an old pale blue coat and shoes that looked like they’d seen much better days about three decades ago.

  “What are you doing here?” asked Ethel, looking around as if to make the others think she barely knew the man.

  Velma stepped over to join them, ready to be rid of the other men and their posturing. The last thing she wanted to be mixed up in was a pissing match between the men. If she wanted to drown, she’d go throw herself in the river.

  Ray hiked up his pants by tugging his suspenders. “I’m part of the Beautification Committee,” he said. “Well, I give to the cause. I only bother with gatherings when dinner’s being served. Get a load of this swanky place. Is that a llama?” He pointed across the room.

  Velma turned to see that there was indeed a llama on the wall, hiding in a corner next to a large plant.

  Ethel looked down at her magazine. “That’s not in the article either,” she said with a frown. “This place is nothing like it was.”

  “I think it’s nice,” said Ray. “With all the money he has, it’s no wonder he’d have fancy things.”

  Ethel cringed. “They’re dead animals.”

  “Taxidermy is an art,” said Ray. “When I go, I’ve thought about having myself preserved. You know, so everyone can still get a look at perfection.” He waggled his brows and showed his toothy grin.

  “With that cologne you’re wearing, it seems like you’re already ahead of the process. What is that, formaldehyde?”

  “It’s nice, isn’t it? It’s Drakkar Noir. I got it for Christmas back in eighty-three. I hear it’s the new retro fragrance for men. All the ladies love it.”

  “Well, I think that batch has turned,” said Ethel, waving her hand. “You know, some fragrances go bad after a while.”

  Ray wasn’t going to be deterred. “They ripen with age, baby. Like fine wine.” There was just no bringing him down.

  “It’s ripe all right, but more like rotten fruit.” She couldn’t believe she had to hang around with Ray for the remainder of the night and hoped an old woman with a fat purse would walk in and get his attention.

  “Don’t hate the player baby, hate the game.” He gave her a wink and then turned around to take a drink from the tray that Alice had brought out from the kitchen.

  “Some wine, ladies?” asked Alice, giving them a friendly smile. “It’s from Italy.”

  “Thank you,” said Ethel, her cheeks flushing as she took a glass.

  Velma took one too, but only to be polite and look like she was doing something. She was sure one of the fake plants around the room needed watering. “Thanks,” she said.

  Alice walked away, making her way around to another couple who had come in. The older man and woman were a bit overdressed, and her dress even matched his tie.

  “Isn’t that the Reynoldses?” asked Ethel.

  “Yes, Stanley and Martha Reynolds,” said Ray. “They’ve been together since high school, and I think they just celebrated their fiftieth. Their son is a fancy doctor in California. Does those plastic surgeries.”

  “He should give his mother a discount,” said Velma, thinking the older woman had more chins than she and Ethel combined.

  Rays eyes were fixed on the woman. “She’s a fine lady, but then again, I’ve always appreciated natural beauty.” He sipped his drink and glanced at the rain pelting the windows. “That’s really getting rough.”

  Velma heard laughter and looked out in the entranceway to see another few guests had arrived and managed to get in the house before the rain soaked them down.

  �
�Where’s Reeves?” Everett asked Alice as he walked in.

  “I imagine he’s still parking cars,” she said with a sour look. “He’s only one man.” She gave him a smile and then turned to offer up more drinks.

  “I told you we should have hired more help.”

  “I like being a hostess, darling. It’s turning out just fine. Now go and greet your guests.” She walked away, and Velma turned her attention to the llama in the corner as Everett glanced her way.

  He walked out in a huff, and on his way, he gave a dark look to Harrison, as if he didn’t want the man gaining any ground while he was gone.

  Another couple entered the room with Ethel and Velma, a younger woman and man who appeared to be in their thirties. “Everyone, this is Doug and Gina Tate,” said Everett.

  Velma had seen them around town, and they were always involved with the town events, including the Christmas light parade. They did a lot of volunteer work and were the head of the Beautification Committee.

  Then, as if things weren’t weird enough, Calvin Wallace walked in behind them, brushing off his coat.

  “Oh, it’s all right,” he said to Everett, who offered him a towel. “Postmen are tough when it comes to the weather.” He ran his hand through his wet hair, making sure that it was still in place.

  Velma felt her temperature rise as she looked at Calvin in his dark gray suit, which complemented his hair perfectly.

  “Well, would you look at that?” asked Ethel. “It seems like you might start to have a better night after all.”

  Velma turned up her drink. Things were certainly looking up, but she’d still never admit it.

  Chapter 10

  “Go on over and say hello,” said Ethel, urging Velma toward Calvin.

  “Anything to get away from these people,” she said, moving away from Ray and the other men.

  Calvin looked up to see Velma and smiled. “I wondered if you’d show,” he said. “I caught a peek at the guest list.”

  “And what are you doing on it?” Velma wondered if he had crashed the party.