Edge Of Retaliation : Books 1-3

by Bella Jewel

  “How far are we driving today?” I ask him, about half an hour later.

  “Not too far, I’m in pain,” he murmurs, his voice a touch sleepy, a touch pained.

  “I can drive,” I offer.

  “We’ll stop soon.”

  Stubborn damned men.

  They’ll be the death of me.

  “I’M DOING IT,” I SAY, sitting on the edge of Tanner’s bed with a first-aid kit in one hand and some washcloths in the other.

  We’re all exhausted.

  We drove until lunchtime and then stopped and found a motel for the night. Tomorrow we will make it to Chase, though Tatum is concerned as we haven’t heard from him in the last twelve hours. He’s worried that whoever Tanner stirred up is going to go after Chase in an attempt to find him. I hope that’s not the case, but there is a high chance it is. I guess we’ll find out when we get there.

  “I can clean myself up,” Tanner mutters, kicking off his boots and lying back on the bed, exhaling loudly.

  “I’m sure you can, but you’re about to go to sleep and I’m not going to let you die of some infection because you’re too stubborn to let anyone help. You can lay there and rest if it makes you happy, but I’m doing it.”

  “Just admit it,” he murmurs, pulling off his shirt and tossing it on the ground, keeping his eyes closed the whole time, “You wouldn’t care if I got an infection and died.”

  I stare at his chest as he lies on the bed, rising and falling, the huge muscles bulging even during his resting state. He’s gorgeous, so much so it makes my tummy do a silly little flutter. I let my eyes run over the bruises slowly forming on his ribs. He won’t admit it, but he has to be in a good deal of pain. They did a good job with him.

  “I would care,” I say, climbing into the bed beside him and opening the first-aid kit. “I like you, even if sometimes I don’t understand why.”

  His eyes open and meet mine, for a moment, the air gets trapped in my lungs. His look is so intense I want to throw myself at him, come what may. But I can’t do that. So, I look away and he closes his eyes again, but not before saying, “I like you, too.”

  Dammit.

  I get to work using an alcohol wipe to try and clean some of the dried blood off his face. He looks terrible, and I know he’s too exhausted to shower, but that would really help me right about now.

  “You should shower, some of this blood might come off.”

  “I can’t be fucked,” he murmurs, his voice deep, sleepy.

  “Okay,” I say, taking my washcloths and going into the bathroom, soaking them with warm water.

  I bring them back and position myself on the bed again, then I start using them to clean the blood off. They’re far more effective and it doesn’t take long to clean away the grime and blood stuck to Tanner’s skin. Then, I’m able to assess how much damage he has actually received. It’s not too bad, there are quite a few little cuts, but mostly it’s bruises, there is going to be a lot of them when he wakes up in the morning.

  There is a cut above his eyebrow that’s deep, so I use some sticky bandages to try and pull it together so it doesn’t bleed all night. As I’m running my fingers over them, trying to get them to stick to his skin, he opens his eyes and looks up at me. “What was it like in there?”

  “In where?” I ask, concentrating on trying to get this right so the wound stays closed.

  “Prison.”

  I pause, my fingers against his skin. My eyes move down to his, and I can see he’s serious, he wants to know. I hesitate for a few minutes, contemplating if I should share this part of my story, but deciding why the hell shouldn’t I? It’s part of who I am, after all.

  “It was hard,” I say, getting back to work on cleaning up his face. “Especially when I first went in. I was only young, and I had no support. My family, they aren’t the best ...”

  “I saw your mom at the trial, do you still talk to her?”

  “No,” I say, my voice turning a touch colder. “No, I don’t. I don’t really talk to any of them, including my brother. They left me there, when I needed them the most. I was so young, I was afraid, I was alone. It wasn’t easy.”

  “They left you on your own?”

  I nod, swallowing at the painful reminder that my family abandoned me in my time of need. “Yeah, they did. They rarely visited, and when they did it was just to remind me of how hard things were for them on the outside. Because of what I’d done. Because of the reputation they now held. My mother made it more about her than me, and she made sure I knew how it had impacted her.”

  “She sounds selfish,” Tanner says, no hesitation whatsoever in his voice.

  “She was. Because she didn’t believe me. Nobody did. Nobody except Jo, and that’s only because she was in the car with me. She knows me, and she proved how much she loved me by sticking by my side.”

  “What about your lawyer? Didn’t they believe you?”

  “No,” I say softly, wiping a cut underneath his right eye. “No, they didn’t. It was my word against ...”

  “Ours,” Tanner finishes for me.

  “Yeah, basically. Your family didn’t believe Celia had anything bad happening in her life, they didn’t think she would take her own life, there was no evidence to point to it, so my word was worth absolutely nothing.”

  “Ethan believed you.”

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “Yeah he did. I’m thankful for that.”

  “Do you love him?”

  I blink and my eyes meet Tanner’s, confused. “Ethan?”

  “Yeah.”

  I think about that, for a long moment. For a time, I thought Ethan could be the one. I thought that he would be someone I could be with forever. I used to imagine life outside of those walls, wondering if we could be together. I mean, we knew each other so well. We got along with little effort, it was natural and easy. I could have loved Ethan, for sure, but I don’t know ... It just never reached that stage.

  “I love Ethan for the man he is, for the protector he was, for the friend that got me through some of the hardest times of my life. Am I in love with him, though? No. No, I’m not. It just never got to that point with us, maybe too much shared, maybe because of prison, I don’t know, it just didn’t.”

  “Nothing ever happened between the two of you?” Tanner asks, shifting slightly toward me so I can wipe the other side of his face.

  “No, it didn’t.”

  “Did you want it to?”

  I exhale. “Why all the questions about Ethan?”

  “I want to know my competition,” he says simply, his voice strong and determined.

  I blink. “Competition?”

  “Yeah.”

  “For me?”

  He chuckles. “Obviously.”

  “You don’t even like me, Tanner.”

  “You’re fuckin’ wrong about that,” he says, reaching up with his busted-up hand and stroking my cheek. “I fuckin’ adore you.”

  My heart races and my throat feels tight. “Y-y-y-you do?”

  “Yeah,” he confirms. “Yeah, I do. I fucked up, we both know that, I can’t go over it a thousand times. I was wrong, I didn’t know the situation and I didn’t want to see the truth. I wanted you to suffer, but it was a mistake. Biggest mistake I’ve made in a good long time. The longer I’ve spent with you on the road, the more I see that you’re a good person, probably one of the best people I know. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.”

  Those words.

  God, I’ve wanted to hear them for so long.

  My heart squeezes tightly, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Tears burn under my eyelids, and my skin prickles with emotion that has been held inside for so long.

  “You have no idea how much hearing those words means to me,” I whisper to Tanner. “No idea.”

  “I think I have a bit of an idea,” he murmurs, stroking my bottom lip lovingly before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry, Callie. From the bottom of my heart, I’m fuckin’ sorry.”
<
br />   I can’t stop it.

  Tears burst forth and roll down my cheeks.

  I needed those words, more than he’ll ever know.

  “Hey,” he says, sitting up and grabbing me, pulling me into his arms, “I got you.”

  He’s got me.

  He’s. Got. Me.

  I bury my face into his chest, and I breathe him in, my tears soaking his bare skin. He hangs onto me for a long moment, until my tears slow down and my body stops trembling. Only then do I pull back and look up at him. He swipes a tear away with his thumb, and then leans down, his lips brushing mine. I want him, so badly, but I’m afraid. I’m scared. I’m worried that what Jo said is right, that we might never be able to get past what happened, that it’ll rear its ugly head over and over until it destroys us.

  “We can’t be doing this,” I whimper against his lips. “There is so much water under the bridge, so much bad blood, it’ll destroy us eventually.”

  “Or,” he growls, dragging his lips down my throat, “what doesn’t destroy us will only make us stronger.”

  I clench my eyes shut, because I want him, he knows I want him. “Tanner,” I whisper.

  “Don’t,” he murmurs against my neck. “Don’t take another thing away from me. I need you, Callie. More than fuckin’ air. I’m fallin’ in love with you.”

  No.

  Oh, god.

  He’s confused. He’s wrong.

  He’s not in love with me. He’s running high on emotion, he’s been through a lot, he’s confusing love for something that he doesn’t fully understand.

  “You’ve been through a lot. A week ago you wanted me to suffer, that’s not love, Tanner.”

  He pulls back, his eyes intense. “A week ago I was doubting my every move because of how I felt about you, I was pushing myself because I was fuckin’ confused and fucked up. I know what I feel, Callie. I’ve been through enough in my life to know the difference.”

  I close my eyes, taking a deep breath in.

  “Look at me,” he orders, his voice husky.

  I open my eyes, and I look at him, I really look at him.

  “We’ve got a fuckin’ long way to go. I’ve got a lot of bridges to mend before we can ever be anything solid, but I know how I feel about you. I know that you dig into a part of me that has been closed off for a fuckin’ long time. That means something to me, and I’m not losing another thing that means something to me because I’m too stubborn to fuckin’ see what’s right there in front of me.”

  I swallow, and nod, because who am I to tell him how he feels?

  Who am I to judge his emotions?

  Even if deep down I don’t believe them, I’m not in a place to fight him.

  I’m done fighting.

  I’m going to let him mend this bridge, because I need to cross over it far more than he’ll ever know.

  I want to see what’s on the other side.

  17

  “Oh, god,” I whimper, arching, my fingers curling into the sheets. “Tanner.”

  His mouth devours me, his tongue dragging up and down my pussy, causing little sparks of pleasure to shoot through my core. His fingers are deep inside me, gently pulling in and out, causing a combination of pleasure I don’t think I’ve felt before. I’m wound up so tightly my back is arched off the bed and my toes are curled so tightly I can hardly feel them anymore.

  “I’m going to, oh god ...”

  I lose my train of thought as pleasure unlike anything I’ve felt in a good while erupts through my body, exploding from the inside out. I cry out Tanner’s name, clutching the sheets, thrashing my head from side to side. He licks me until every shudder is ripped from my body, and only then does he come up for air. He gets to his knees, his gloriously naked body on display for me to see.

  Even battered and bruised, he’s perfect.

  So fucking beautiful.

  He moves quickly, lifting me up and rolling us so his back hits the bed and my body falls over his. I place my knees either side of his hips and he kisses me. He kisses me with such ferocity I lose my breath. I clutch his hair, deepening the kiss until our tongues dance and I can taste myself. We kiss until we’re panting, until we’re frantic. His cock his pressing between my legs, and with a slight adjustment of my hits, I slide down onto it. Inch by inch, taking it, letting it fill me.

  He growls, I whimper, and then I make the final leap, sliding down fully onto him. The burning feeling as I stretch is welcomed, and my body comes back on high alert at the realization of what’s going to happen next. Tanner arches up, his mouth catching my nipple, and he sucks as I start to rock, slowly at first, dragging my hips back and forth, before picking up the pace.

  Hands on my hips, Tanner moves me, making me fuck him so hard my ass shakes and my breasts bounce. I tip my head back, letting him take control, his big fingers digging into my hips as he arches up with each thrust, filling me as deeply as he can. Pleasure builds inside me, and with each passing thrust, gets stronger and stronger, until I’m screaming his name and experiencing an orgasm that rocks me to my core.

  Tanner follows close behind, growling through his release, his cock pulsing over and over inside me. When he slows me down and I come to a stop, I can feel every movement as his release is pulled from his body. Once it’s over, I roll off, tucking myself into his side, both of us panting. It takes a moment for us to catch our breaths, and when we do, I say, “That didn’t hurt, did it?”

  He makes a chuckling sound. “Could have my leg cut off and I’d still endure it to see you bouncin’ on my cock like that. You’re fuckin’ beautiful, Callie.”

  I flush and snuggle into him closer. “You’re not so bad yourself, even though you currently look like you’ve done three rounds in the ring.”

  He grunts. “Yeah, feel it, too.”

  “You should get some sleep, you’re exhausted. We’ve been too busy talking and fucking.”

  I go to move away so I can head back to my own room and get some rest too, but his arm tightens, making me stay where I am. “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Don’t go,” he says, his voice firm, yet weirdly vulnerable.

  “Okay,” I whisper, getting comfortable again.

  Within moments, his breathing deepens, and I know he’s asleep. I smile, it’s hard not to. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep in a man’s arms. I’ve always wondered how it would feel, and honestly, I like it. I like it a lot. I feel safe, like nothing in the world could touch me while I’m here. That’s a nice feeling to have, and one I’m not overly familiar with.

  Within moments, my eyes are dropping closed, too.

  My breathing deepens.

  Tanner’s breaths turn into light snores.

  And I can’t help but smile as the warm darkness takes me.

  This really does feel nice.

  I could get used to it.

  I really could.

  “TANNER!”

  The pounding at the door wakes me up, and as I come to, Tatum’s voice becomes clearer. I rub my eyes and roll out of Tanner’s arms. He’s still dead asleep.

  “Tanner! Get up! Wake up!”

  Shit.

  Tatum sounds frantic. I reach over and shake Tanner by the shoulder until he slowly rouses out of his sleep. He rubs his eyes and grumbles something sleepily, then he hears Tatum’s voice and jerks upright in bed. Within a few seconds he’s standing and walking over to the door, opening it.

  “What’s goin’ on?” he asks, his voice still husky from sleep.

  “They’ve got Chase.”

  “What? Who?”

  Tatum walks into the room and stops dead when he sees me with a sheet wrapped around myself, sitting up in Tanner’s bed. Well, this is one way for him to find out what it is we’ve been doing in here.

  “Not even goin’ to ask,” he murmurs, then turns to Tanner and says, “I got a call from the guys you’ve been huntin’ down. They figured out who you are and your relation to Chase, and somehow they fuckin’ got hold of him
. They told me if I don’t show up tomorrow with the cash you owe, they’ll kill him.”

  “Fuck,” Tanner growls. “I thought you had his name changed? How the fuck did they find him?”

  “I don’t fuckin’ know. Traced my phone? Traced yours? Followed us? How the fuck do I know. I had his name changed properly, so it fuckin’ beats me how they got to him so quick. Either way, they’ve got him, and they want cash for the goods you destroyed when you went in there on a fuckin’ rampage, not only that, they want you.”

  I glance at Tanner, concerned. They want him? This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all.

  “How much cash?” Tanner asks, ignoring the fact that Tatum clearly stated they want him too.

  “Ten grand, by tomorrow.”

  Tanner runs a hand down his face, and then murmurs, “Go and get the others up. We’ll head over there. I’ll figure something out.”

  “They’re goin’ to kill him, Tanner,” Tatum says, his voice concerned.

  “He got himself into this fuckin’ mess.” Tanner grunts. “But we’ll get him out of it.”

  “You got him into it by goin’ in and causin’ shit instead of coming to us and workin’ out a smart plan,” Tatum growls. “If anyone is to blame here, it’s you.”

  “You really want to get into this now?” Tatum fires back, fists clenched.

  “Okay,” I say, standing, keeping the sheet around my body. “That’s enough. Tatum, go and get the others. We’ll work something out. We’ll get Chase back and sort this out, okay?”

  Tatum glares at Tanner for a minute but turns and disappears out the door. I glance over at the clock, it’s six at night, which means we slept all afternoon. It works out well, considering we have to be where Chase is by noon tomorrow, that’s some driving we’re going to have to put forward in the next few hours.

  “What are we going to do, Tanner?” I ask, reaching for my clothes so I can get changed and we can get on the road.

  “Don’t stress about it,” Tanner murmurs, picking up his clothes and heading toward the shower. “I’ll work out a plan.”