Rose

by Elle Casey

  It makes my heart hurt to imagine that this could have been an option for me if things had happened differently in our past. But since that’s not my reality, this daydreaming is pointless; it’s all just a tease. “But I’m not getting ten million dollars from an anonymous donor, and I’m not taking that settlement.” I extricate myself from our sister circle and stand at the foot of the bed. I’ve never felt so apart from them as I do now, even when we were all going to college in different places. “I think we should get downstairs and help with dinner.”

  “I think so too,” Emerald says, joining me.

  Amber scoots over and jumps off the mattress, coming over to be with us. Pulled into a group hug, I inhale the scent of my sisters. I love them so much. I can’t let myself be angry with them for wanting to take their settlements. I have to be bigger than that. More adult about the situation. They’re going to do great things with the money, and they deserve to have that choice. We’re not tied to one another except through love. They make their choices, and I make mine. I just wish growing up wasn’t so painful sometimes.

  “Are you going to sit next to Greg?” Emerald asks.

  “You’d better,” Amber says, not waiting for my answer.

  The idea of sitting next to him excites me. It’s such a simple thing, but just being near him makes me happy. “I’d like to. We’ll see if it works out that way.”

  “Oh, it’ll work out that way. Trust me,” Amber says.

  Emerald giggles. “Uh-oh. The matchmaker is on the case.”

  “God help me,” I say. But secretly, I’m glad for it. I’m ready to admit that I wouldn’t mind being matched with Greg. That secret affair is sounding better and better the more I think about it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  A knock comes at the front door while we’re sitting down to eat, and Smitty sticks his head in. “Hey, everybody. Is it time for dinner?”

  I stand. “Oh, shoot; I forgot. I invited Smitty over. I’m sorry. Let me go grab another chair.”

  “I’ll help you,” Smitty says, following me into the kitchen.

  As soon as the door closes behind us, I turn to face him. “I’m so sorry, Smitty. I’ve just been so busy with work, it slipped my mind that I invited you.”

  He smiles, pulling his hat off and dropping it on the counter. “That’s all right. I know it was just a casual invite. And I didn’t have any better plans, so I thought I’d take you up on it.” He grins at me, his slightly crooked teeth making his smile that much more charming. I turn to grab the chair, but his hand on my shoulder stops me. I look up at him.

  “Did you talk to your sister about you going out for a beer with me, by any chance?”

  “I did. And we all agreed it would be a bad idea.”

  His face falls and his hand slides off my shoulder. “Oh.”

  “Please don’t be mad at me. It’s nothing personal. It’s just this policy we have.”

  He nods stiffly. “I get it. It’s cool. It’s that sister thing.” He rolls his eyes a little. “Let me grab that for you.” He takes the chair from me and walks to the door.

  I watch him go, admiring his broad, muscular back that leads down to a trim waist. Maybe in another lifetime I would’ve said yes to that beer. Maybe even the fact that he dated Emerald once wouldn’t have stopped me. But I’ve met Greg, and he’s the only guy I can think about. I’m sure my crush will pass as he moves on with his life and I don’t see him anymore, but while he’s here, I’m going to indulge myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so excited about a guy.

  I follow Smitty out of the kitchen and help him get set up at the table. He’s on my right while Greg is on my left. I’ve sat next to Smitty during meals countless times, and I thought I’d be okay with it tonight too, but as soon as the food is served, it starts to get a little awkward.

  “So, Greg, how long are you going to be in town?” Smitty asks, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up as he leans in to see around me. His voice is especially loud, causing other conversations around the table to pause.

  Greg glances up at the table before taking a dish that Carol is handing him. “I should be headed out tomorrow, probably.”

  I poke at my spinach, sad to hear that his visit will be so short.

  “Oh, that’s too bad. You need a lift to the airport?”

  Greg glances at me. “Actually, I was going to ask Rose if she could take me because we have a couple things we need to talk about. About a dog she wants me to adopt.”

  I look up at him in surprise and catch him staring at me funny. I decide to run with it. “Yeah. Maybe Oscar Mayer will find a new home soon.” I grin at everyone around the table.

  Emerald claps. “Yay!”

  “You really do like those yappy little dogs, don’t you?” Cash asks.

  “I prefer small dogs, yes,” Greg says, cutting his meat. He doesn’t look up, and his face is expressionless. He’s back to being the lawyer again and not the man I met at the clinic.

  “I hope you got tile in your place,” Mooch says. “That mutt pisses on everything.”

  “Be quiet,” I say, softening my voice when I realize how rude that just sounded. “Don’t mess this up for them.”

  “I didn’t know you were looking for a home for that little guy. Maybe I could adopt him,” Smitty says. The tone of his voice makes me extremely uncomfortable. He’s acting like this is some sort of competition between him and Greg.

  I butter my bread while I speak. “If you’re ready to adopt a dog, Smitty, you should let me know, because I’m sure I’ll have another puppy very soon.”

  “Yeah, but Oscar Mayer’s pretty darn cute.”

  “He sure is.” I leave it at that, and thankfully Amber speaks up.

  “Smitty, what happened to your arm?”

  I look over and notice for the first time that he has a bandage wrapped around his forearm. The gauze is pretty thick, too.

  I put my knife down. “Geez, yeah, what happened?”

  “Oh, nothing. Just cut myself doing some gardening at my place.”

  “Looks pretty serious,” I say, reaching out for it. “Want me to take a look at it?”

  He pulls his arm out of my reach. “Nah, that’s all right. I got it under control.”

  “Is it one of those man boo-boos?” Amber asks, lifting her eyebrow toward her hairline.

  “What’s a man boo-boo?” Cash asks.

  “It’s where you have a small cut that could do with a Band-Aid but you wrap it up like you almost lost your arm,” Carol says, hiding a smirk behind her fork.

  “No, it’s not a man boo-boo. It’s the real deal.” Smitty shakes his head at us and digs into his food, mumbling, “Crazy women,” under his breath.

  “How’re the bees doing, Smitty?” Amber asks. “Did you give them some food?”

  “I did.” He looks up at her. “I think we’re going to need to prop them up over the winter.”

  “Okay. You’re the boss.”

  He smiles and nods slowly. “Well, all right. I like the sound of that.”

  “What do we have for dessert tonight?” Red asks.

  “We have a choice tonight,” Barbara says, sounding very pleased. “Pecan pie or blueberry pie.”

  “You all will have to decide which one you like best,” Carol says. She and Barbara exchange a glance, and Sally claps her hands.

  “It’s a contest,” Sally exclaims. “You have to pick your favorite.”

  “Oh, no,” Cash says, shaking his head. “I’m not going to choose a favorite between those two pies. I know what this is; this is a setup.”

  Everybody laughs and starts talking at the same time. Apparently, two of our mothers have been bragging about who makes the best pie, and now they’re asking the band to settle the matter. Talk about trouble.

  “I’ll be taking my dessert back to the clinic,” I say. I’m not getting involved in this nonsense.

  “I’ll join you,” Greg says quietly in my ear.

  I
nod. “I’d like that.”

  “What’d you say?” Smitty asks, leaning in toward me, his arm resting against mine.

  I move away just the slightest bit to give us some distance. “I said that I’m going to try both pies, but I’m not going to say which is my favorite.” What I say to Greg in private is none of Smitty’s beeswax.

  “Yeah, me too.” He leans in close and whispers in my ear, “But you’re my favorite. Don’t tell anyone.”

  I try to smile. He’s acting so strangely, though, it’s hard to take what he’s saying as a compliment.

  The rest of dinner passes quickly, and then the pies are brought out. I put pieces for Greg and me in two Tupperware containers. When I’m in the kitchen with Amber, I pull her off to the side. “Could you please keep Smitty busy so he doesn’t see me leaving with Greg?”

  “You got it, sister.” She hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m happy for you. I think you should go for it.”

  “Go for what?” I can’t stop smiling.

  “It. You know . . . touch his junk. Not Smitty’s . . . Greg’s.”

  I smack her on the butt and move away. “You are so bad. Remind me not to take any advice from you ever again.”

  “Why? It totally works. Trust me.”

  I shake my head. “I do not want to know.”

  I go back into the other room with our Tupperware boxes full of dessert and signal Greg with a tilt of my head. He gets up and pulls his jacket off the coatrack.

  “Smitty!” Amber yells from the kitchen. “Would you get in here, please? I need your help.”

  “Coming!” he says, striding into the kitchen.

  As soon as the door swings closed behind him, Greg and I head to the front door.

  “Where’re you going?” Carol says way too loudly. “Aren’t you staying to eat with us?”

  “I can’t,” I say, handing Greg the containers so I can put my jacket on. “I need to take care of a couple urgent cases.”

  “Are you going to walk her down there?” Red asks Greg.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good man.” He turns his attention to Barbara, and I open the front door, tamping down my annoyance at Red’s assumption of protective duties and my mother’s obliviousness. After Greg joins me out on the porch, I close the door behind us as quietly as I can, not wanting to alert Smitty that we’re leaving.

  “I feel like we’re sneaking out,” Greg says in a near-whisper as we head across the porch to the stairs.

  “We are. I’m afraid Smitty is going to follow us if he knows we’re out here.”

  “Is he your boyfriend?”

  “Are you kidding me?” I scowl at the idea. “No, he’s definitely not my boyfriend. He’s been a family friend for about twenty years, but that’s it, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “I think he wants to be more than that.”

  “I think you’re right.” I really wish we could drop the subject, so I’m not going to elaborate.

  “He’s from around here then, huh?”

  Our feet touch the gravel and immediately start crunching away. The ground has started to freeze. “Yes, he is. It feels like I’ve known him forever. He’s been like a brother to me all these years, but for some reason, today he asked me out for the first time ever. Of course, I told him no.”

  “Why ‘of course’?”

  “Because . . . he went out with my sister Em, for one thing. Only twice, but still . . .”

  “Oh. I get it.”

  “You know about the sister code?”

  “Is that the code that says you can’t date your sister’s ex-boyfriend?”

  “That’s exactly what it is. How’d you know?”

  “I’m a lawyer; I’m familiar with all kinds of contracts.”

  I chuckle.

  “That was a great dinner. Your moms sure can cook,” Greg says.

  I’m happy for the change of subject. “Yes, they can, I agree. I’m glad the clinic is a bit of a walk from the house. It’s the only way I keep from gaining too much weight.”

  “You look great. If all you’re doing is walking, you must have a really great metabolism.”

  I smile at his compliment. He’s been checking me out! “Walking and taking care of the animals is part of it, but believe me, it can be pretty physically demanding. I also do quite a bit of gardening.”

  “I know it’s a lot of work to do what you do at the clinic. I saw that big owl, remember?”

  “Oh, that’s right.”

  “I noticed he’s not there anymore. Did his release go okay?”

  “As well as can be expected. I just got a small nick.” I show him my wrist.

  He stops and touches the skin around it, examining it closely. “Wow, he really got you.”

  I pull my arm back, worried he’ll see how excited I’m getting at his simple touch. “It’s a hazard of the job.”

  “Have you ever been seriously injured by one of the animals?”

  “I get injured all the time, but nothing serious. Knock on wood.”

  “That’s good. I don’t want to have to worry about you when I’m not here.”

  I glance over at him. He’s staring at the ground as he walks. “You’d worry about me?”

  “Of course.”

  My heart feels like it’s swelling inside my chest. “That’s very sweet.”

  We don’t say anything for a while. The wind in the trees makes beautiful music I don’t want to miss. I can also hear my heart beating in my ears. I feel flushed all over. He’s definitely flirting with me, and I’m flirting back and having a ball doing it.

  “So what’s on the agenda for this evening?” Greg asks.

  “I’ll do one last check of the animals, clean up a little bit, and then I’ll go back home and go to bed. Oh, and I’ll eat dessert with my new assistant, Greg Lister.”

  I can hear the smile in his voice when he responds. “Sounds good to me. What do you guys do in the evening for entertainment? Or do you always go straight to bed after work?”

  “Every once in a great while we go out to a local bar and have a drink, or we’ll stay home and play cards, but usually we just read or go to bed.”

  “You’re probably pretty tired when you’re done, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Me too. I rarely get home before ten at night.”

  “That’s crazy. Why do you work so many hours?”

  He shrugs. “That’s the job.”

  “When you get home at a reasonable hour, what do you do for fun?”

  “Occasionally, I’ll go out for drinks with somebody from work or with somebody I’m networking with. I go to dinner from time to time. I date sometimes. Or I just stay home.”

  “Are you dating someone now?” I try to frame it as a casual question, just a part of this friendly conversation, but I’m hanging on every second waiting for his answer.

  “No. I’m single and looking.”

  He’s looking! Now I have to wonder if he told me this because he’s giving me a big fat hint that he’s interested or if he’s telling me because he doesn’t consider me a candidate and we’re having one of those buddy-buddy conversations. Time to dig a little deeper; I sure as heck don’t want to be flirting with a guy who’s giving me signals that he’s not into me.

  “Oh, really?” I ask, trying to sound cool. “Are you on any of the dating sites?”

  “No. I’m just keeping my eyes open . . . waiting for the universe to send someone across my path.”

  “That’s a good attitude. Let the universe decide for you.” Greg and I seem to have the same ideas about work and finding love. It’s encouraging to know how alike we are. We might actually be compatible, except for the fact that we live hundreds of miles apart and neither of us has any free time. I wonder if he sees that about us too.

  “My rule is to keep my eyes open and look for signals,” Greg says.

  If I were bold like Amber, I’d ask him if he’s seen any signals lately. But I’m not. I can see the
little porch light that I left on glowing ahead, so our time for conversation is almost over, anyway. Work always has to come first for me, even when I’m crushing on a guy standing right next to me.

  “Are you dating anyone?” he asks.

  “No, I’m like you—single and looking. But I also work crazy hours, so the universe doesn’t send anyone into my path very often.”

  “I hear ya.”

  I try to keep my breathing measured, when what I really want to do is pant like Banana does so I can get enough oxygen into my brain. It feels like the world is spinning, and it’s making me dizzy. This is such an exciting conversation. It’s more stimulating than any I’ve had in a long time. I just wish I knew exactly what he was thinking.

  “Here’s a crazy idea,” he says.

  I wait and wait, but he doesn’t finish.

  “Yes . . . ?”

  “You’re single and looking . . . I’m single and looking . . . and we both believe in crossing paths . . .”

  “Yes, we do . . .” I feel like sprinting toward the door; I have way too much energy building up inside me as I wait for him to continue.

  “Maybe you and I should go out for a beer tonight.”

  I want to believe he’s asking me out on a date, but there’s a veeerrry slight possibility that he’s suggesting we go to a bar and look for other people. I need to play along until I know for sure. I wouldn’t want to assume he’s into me and then be totally embarrassed when he has to bring me back to reality.

  “We could do that,” I say, trying to sound cool. “If you’re not too tired.”

  “I’m not too tired. Are you?”

  “I told Smitty that I would be when he asked me out, but I’m not. If you want to go, I’ll go with you.”

  “Cool.”

  Great. I still don’t know if this is a date or not.

  We get to the clinic and I unlock the door so we can step inside and get out of the cold. We stop in the lobby after I close up behind us and stare at each other. My mind is racing. I really need to know what’s going on here, otherwise I’m going to be on pins and needles all night. And I can’t be like that around the animals; they’ll sense something is off with me, and it’ll freak them out. Then I risk either getting one of them or one of us injured.