*
Mari tensed moments before she pulled away from him. “Sorry. That wasn’t part of the plan.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket, blew her nose and tried to pull herself together.
Despite the puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks, she looked fabulous. Much like he would have expected. Time had been kind to her in that regard.
“Come in, Ethan.” She walked into the apartment and reached for another tissue, blowing her nose again and dabbing at her eyes. He waited while she poured herself a glass of water and downed it, all the while watching him.
“I didn’t mean to blubber all over you.”
He hated to see the red in her eyes. Tears did that to her and heaven knew he’d seen enough of them when they were younger. Her mother had a lot to answer for but so did he. He’d caused her more than her fair share but, in his mind, he’d had a right to.
“It’s okay. Bit of a shock seeing you too so I guess it went both ways.” He looked around the apartment. “I didn’t know you were the new owner. You are, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I am.” She leaned against the kitchen counter and stared at him, heat high on her cheeks.
“Christian said he mentioned to you that I’d be dropping in before I start work tomorrow,” Ethan said, eyeing her steadily. “We’re partners in the business. I’m in charge of your renovation work.”
Mari nodded. And an expression chased across her face too fast for him to catch. “He said you’d be calling in later today,” she said softly. “I wasn’t prepared to see you this early.”
“I had a break between appointments. Is this inconvenient for you?”
“No.” The look on her face said otherwise. “I’m so pleased you managed to realize your dream of being a carpenter.” She pulled at her bottom lip with her top teeth and frowned. “Knowing I’m the owner of the hotel won’t make any difference will it?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. Things didn’t end well with us, did they?” Because you ran away with my brother. I’m an adult now and I got over you, years ago.
At least, that was what he told himself. Even though his reaction at seeing her seemed cool and calm, inwardly his heart raced and all he could think of was the pain she’d caused him. The note he’d found under his pillow didn’t give many details. All she’d said was she was moving on and not to bother looking for her. What they’d had had been fun but Ethan had made his decision about their future clear and she wasn’t going to try and change his mind. It’d be better for everyone concerned if she left.
Not knowing where she’d gone was the worst experience. Worrying if she was okay or needed him. Even hearing from a reliable witness who claimed she’d left with Rake didn’t make him feel any better. The following months when guilt wouldn’t let him sleep at night and the realization he’d made a gigantic mistake. He still loved her but it was too late to take back the horrible words he’d said to her.
But, until he found out what her life consisted of until now, Ethan was prepared to keep it all locked up inside. Once he had all the facts he could make a better informed decision. That was if he could contain himself that long. He still needed answers and she was the only one that could provide them. And to top it off, she’d gone and married his brother. That was going to take some getting over. If ever. But he’d always tried to push the bitterness and anger aside. He didn’t want to be his father even though growing up he could see the similarities in their mannerisms. Treating Mari the way he had back then wasn’t in his character.
“I know. But, honestly, was I the only one to blame, Ethan?”
Anyone would think with the look of astonishment on her face, it was her credibility being called into question. She couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I thought I meant something to you.” The old pain hit him in the gut.
“For God’s sake, Ethan. You dumped me, remember?”
Sure he had but it was in the past. “We were kids, Mari. You were asking me for more than I could give. What did you expect from me?”
She rolled her eyes and he seethed. It hadn’t taken her long to get over him and take up with his brother. That was the part that hurt the most.
“Don’t forget you weren’t there for me, Ethan.”
The bitterness swirled around his mind, sour memories coating the back of his tongue. But Rake had been there for her, was what she really meant. He could understand his brother leaving home to pursue his dream of being a boxer against their parents’ wishes but to take her with him – that was the kicker. Neither of them had bothered to keep in touch. So many lost opportunities. Ethan didn’t want to let himself believe it was something he’d done but he knew better. They were tight, or so he thought. But Mari was a different matter. They’d fallen out and he’d made mistakes. Stupid immature mistakes that cost him his girlfriend. Would she ever forgive him for the way he treated her? He suddenly found himself really wanting to find out.
“To be honest, I’m not sure you did anything wrong looking back on it. My father might not agree but I know you better than he does and I had my doubts that you would have stolen anything like he claimed. Especially not from him.” He stepped closer to her and reached out a hand to wipe away the frown on her face. “I’m sorry I didn’t support you at the time. I was confused and angry. Immature. I think I wanted to hurt you and I did by not being there for you.”
“Little bit late sticking up for me now isn’t it?”
He’d had years to think about it. Years to observe and understand his father and the way he saw the worst in everything. And years to understand how ignorant Ethan had been by following along blindly when deep down in his heart he wasn’t the kind of man his father was. And he wanted to be different. Proving that to others had been a hurdle as he’d found out with Rake. “We did a lot of things we probably regret now. We were both young and stupid, trying to act all grown-up when we should have been concentrating on college. We can’t get those years back.”
“No we can’t. But it would be nice to clear the air between us.”
Mentally he agreed but wasn’t prepared to offer her an olive branch quite yet. Sure, he’d let her down but he’d felt cornered, trapped by her demands and youthful exuberance regarding their future. He wasn’t ready then and Mari wasn’t prepared to give him any leeway. She had to wear some of the blame. Seeing her brought it all up to the surface. “I was hurt when you ran away but not entirely surprised. I could’ve handled it better and been kinder and talked about why I wanted us to take a break instead of just dumping you like that, but at the time I did what I thought was right. I’d handle things differently now.” He rubbed his hand down her arm, trying to soothe her. “Besides, your mom had you almost at the breaking point before that happened. I would’ve been more surprised if you hadn’t cracked in some form or other. But still, you didn’t need me not defending you when you got blamed for the break-in.” He didn’t know how she’d done it, turning the other cheek every time her drug-addicted mother showed up causing Mari more heartache and embarrassment.
She shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes again. “Thank you, Ethan. That means a lot to me.”
“Mari, you don’t have to thank me. We were friends before lovers remember?” Hopefully they could at least be friends again.
Maybe even good friends so he could resolve the hurt that still lingered after so many years. He didn’t want to hold grudges like his father. Strike out like his father. He could be her friend. Forgive that she’d jumped from him to his brother.
Ethan still wanted answers, but he was willing to bide his time to get them.
“I really should be looking at the job but if you have the time, I’d love to catch up over a cup of coffee. What do you say?”
“Oh, um, do you mind if we do that another day?” She looked at her watch but not before he saw the panic flicker in her eyes. “I have to be somewhere, Ethan. I’m sorry.”
“Of course. I don’t mean to hold you up. We can catch up later. I’m g
oing to be here on site for weeks to come. That’s if your husband wouldn’t mind me spending time over a coffee with you. He’s not likely to come storming through the door, is he, and take my head off?”
Mari shook her head. “Even though Rake died over two years ago, I haven’t remarried if that’s what you’re asking. The reason I came back home’s quite simple. I wanted to belong again and Cherry Lake is the only place I ever felt that. And…and I wanted to clear up the past.”
He thought he heard her mutter something like “make amends.” If so, she wouldn’t be the only one making them.
Figured he’d put his foot in his mouth. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t assume.”
“We never caught up when I came to scatter Rake’s ashes.” Mari shrugged and stared at the ground. “I regret that but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk to anyone. You were with someone else when I drove past you in the street.”
He was confused. “With someone else?”
“Yes. Blonde, tall, and very pretty. I didn’t think it was my place to intrude.”
“I wish you had.” It took him a moment to remember the woman’s name. “As a family, we wanted to be there for Rake. Hearing about it after the fact devastated my parents and me. I doubt they’ll ever get over it, to be perfectly honest.”
“One more problem,” Mari said and a hint of bitterness bled through. “I’m sorry. I was only carrying out Rake’s final wishes.” She glanced down the stairs and her gaze flickered to his face. “Look, I have to go. I’m more than prepared for you to bawl me out over this another day but not right now.”
Why did he feel as though he was being brushed aside again? He supposed he deserved it. After all, he’d blamed himself when she ran away because he’d treated her terribly. But when he’d learned she’d married his brother, he still couldn’t define the emotions that had battered him. He’d lost his brother and Mari. Rake, Ethan could never repair the past with. But with Mari maybe he had a chance. He needed to find out what happened so he could deal with it, apologize, but she wasn’t really giving him the chance.
But he wasn’t just going to let it go this time. Today, yes. But there would be a tomorrow and Mari wasn’t going to find it so easy to disappear without answers this time.
“Fine.” He forced himself to back down. Give her space. “I need to call into the yard for supplies after my next appointment anyway so I’m pushed for time. We’ve waited years to hash out the past. One more day won’t hurt. I’ll see you bright and early in the morning.” He turned and left her standing on the stairs.
Chapter Two
“How’d it go?” Christian’s voice filled the truck as Ethan drove back to the workshop after his final appointment of the day.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was her?” He’d been stunned to see Mari at the hotel but once the initial shock wore off, a feeling of unease started to replace it.
He messed up with Mari but he still didn’t know what he’d done to be cut off by his brother. They might not have been best buddies as teens but as brothers he still considered them as close as most siblings. Different interests and goals, they’d still back each other up in a fight. At least Ethan had thought so until Rake had refused to be part of his life.
“When you grow up and stop acting like the old man, call me, because you’re just like him whether you think so or not. I don’t need that in my life.”
That had been the last time they’d spoken. Only years later had Ethan understood Rake had been right. He was his father’s shadow, exactly like him in so many ways. Now it was too late to mend the fences between them.
But he wasn’t like his old man. Not now.
“Because I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I remember what you were like when she left town. When you found out she went with your brother, you went into a tailspin. You moped around for months. And when you found out he’d taken his own life, you were no better, so you can hardly blame me. Besides, I figured it’d be a nice surprise for you.”
“Yeah, well, seeing her when I walked in the door—it blew me away. Mom’s going to flip big-time.” He disconnected the call and turned down the street to the warehouse, wondering how on earth he was going to break the news to his mother. All the years Rake had been gone had taken a toll on her. The only contact had been what they saw on the sports channels as he followed his dream of being a world-class boxer. The day he announced he was leaving to pursue a boxing career was the day she broke down and lost another part of herself.
When he pulled up in the yard, his partner was busy helping the men load up a worker’s truck for the following day. Christian slid on the final plank of timber and tied it down, dusted his hands off and walked over to Ethan’s truck.
“You gonna sit in there all night?” He beckoned Ethan inside the office and handed him a cold beer from the little refrigerator in the corner as he walked in the door.
“Thanks.” He tipped the bottle to his mouth and took a deep drink before easing down into the old armchair.
“She really rattled you, eh?” Christian dropped down into his chair behind the cluttered desk and leaned back in the old leather chair he’d inherited from his father.
“I didn’t think so until now, but, yeah. I guess she did.”
“So, what’re you going to do about it?”
No matter which way he looked at it, nothing good was going to come of today’s news. His mother would be gutted. All the pain she’d suffered when Mari ran away and Rake turned his back on the family would all be brought out into the open again.
“I don’t know. Rake’s been dead two years. We were finally coming to terms with it. I can actually talk about him without tearing up or getting angry. Mom’s starting to remember the good things about him and not focusing on what we all did wrong to chase him away. And then Mari comes back to town and it’s all going to be brought up again, the questions, the self-recriminations, the blame. Whatever way we look at this, my family’s been cheated. That hurts almost as much as knowing my brother didn’t want anything to do with us.”
*
Later that evening, he stopped by his parents’ house on the way home to his cottage, which was situated just along from the family home. His mom leaned over her vegetable garden pulling weeds from between her tomatoes plants, loading them into a wheelbarrow for her compost heap. Her garden seemed to get away from her during cherry picking season and being away on vacation meant things had really gotten wild and overgrown but she refused to give up on it.
“Ethan, I wasn’t expecting you this evening. Everything all right?”
“Hi, Mom. This is an impromptu visit. I have something to tell you.” He gave her a quick hug. “Guess who I bumped into today?”
She pulled off her gardening gloves and shrugged. “No idea. Just tell me.” She swatted at a flying insect buzzing around her face.
He had a quick moment of doubt but forged ahead. His mom wasn’t normally the type to judge a person, not like his father and she deserved to know. But Ethan thought this would be different. She loved Mari, thought the world of her and the feeling had been mutual. Pearl was everything Mari’s mother wasn’t. Caring and warm, firm but kind. She’d gone a long way to making the lost teenager feel as though someone loved her when her own mother had failed in her duty. He fully expected his mom to lash out in pain more than anything. “Mari.”
Her eyes went wide and her jaw slack. It took a moment before she could form a coherent word. “Is she okay? What happened? Why didn’t she call us? Does she want to see me? Did you talk to her?”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “Mom, calm down. She’s fine.”
“But what happened to her? Did she say why she wouldn’t speak to us when Rake died? Why she had to sneak into town and leave without giving us the opportunity to say goodbye to our son?” Tears filled her eyes and the old pain surfaced. “I missed her so much when she ran away and blame myself for what happened. I couldn’t even give her a hug.”
“We both k
now it wasn’t your fault she ran. You did everything you could for her. If anyone was to blame it was me and Dad. I pushed her away when she needed me instead of standing up to him. I could’ve been a much kinder boyfriend but that’s something on my shoulders, not yours. You did so much for her, stepping in when her own mother let her down, raising her alongside of us.”
“It wasn’t enough.” She gave a shaky sigh. “I love your dad, you know that, but for a clever man he can be a stubborn fool sometimes. I don’t care what anyone said, she’s not the type to break into our house and trash it. She wouldn’t do it. You siding with him was so unlike you, Ethan. For the life of me, I don’t know why you wanted to hurt her like that.”
“I know, Mom. I was young and stupid, wasn’t thinking straight. We’d had a falling out and I wanted to lash out at her. If I could take it all back I would. We were too young to settle down and I didn’t tell her that in the nicest way. Things got out of control.”
“I wish I knew why she didn’t keep in touch with us.” She wiped her hand over her eyes. “What she must have gone through when Rake died.” A huge sigh shuddered through her body. “We could’ve helped her if we’d known how ill he was. It’s not right, Ethan.”
“I know.” He leaned against the fence he’d helped her build to keep out the marauding chickens. “She’s done well for herself though. I didn’t think it was the time or place to quiz her over everything she’s done because she was busy. But I was surprised at how well things turned out for her.” He thought for a moment. “Maybe it was the best thing that happened at the time.”
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