Sunshine Spirit

by Barbara Willis

  The empty hook that caught Jane's eye belonged to room 37; Hugh Callaghan's.

  After her brief conversation with Will, Jane carried on with her daily tasks but found herself glancing at the vacant hook frequently. Throughout the rest of the day, the key remained absent. Hook keys were never missing for more than an hour but no-one came to return the key to its home. No-one mentioned needing the key, and everyone who had access to use it had passed the desk more than once without returning it.

  Before Jane left for home she also checked the pigeon hole for room 37. There was no post or note to explain the key's absence and Jane couldn't shake the feeling that she knew exactly where the key could be found.

  As Jane collected her things, one of the chambermaids who was having a break looked up.

  'Lucky you, off home?'

  'Yes. That's me done. I'm shattered for some reason.'

  'It'll be the sleepless nights with the raids I bet,' the maid smiled.

  'Probably.'

  'I don't know about you but I'm so tired I think I'm ruddy seeing things.' Jane chuckled and nodded as if to confirm a similar state of fatigue, but the girl continued. 'No, seriously. I saw Mr Callaghan disappear round the first landing the other day, heading up towards his room as I came down. Then a few minutes later I was in the foyer and I saw him go up again I swear.' She shook her head. 'I don't know; it's either lack of sleep or I'm losing my bloody marbles.' She laughed as she stood up to get back to work. 'Anyway, back to it. See you tomorrow Jane; fingers crossed for some decent sleep tonight eh?'

  The girl crossed her fingers and waved them behind her as she left the room. Jane replied 'Yes, fingers crossed' but the girl had already gone by the time Jane forced her lips to reply.

  Jane sat down.

  She sat statue still for some time before leaving.

  With trepidation, Jane waited in the hallway at Mrs Foster's for the knock on the door that would say Will was back.

  Whilst hovering in the staff room, Jane had eventually forced the questions from her troubled mind. Her mood changed to nervous and excited as she then hurried home. She hastily took a bath before changing into the best clothes she had and checking her reflection a hundred times. There would be a sensible explanation, she told herself as she fiddled with her hair in the mirror yet again.

  As she sat by the telephone table in the hall, Jane tried not to feel so eager to see the man who had now given flight to a flock of questions. Despite all her concerns, the feelings she had for him outweighed her doubts by far. She knew there would be rational and acceptable answers but didn't want to seem suspicious or unfeeling by asking for these.

  When chatting to her three girlfriends the previous day at Hampney Teas she'd carefully probed for their opinions, trying to be vague. They weren't fooled by her hypothetical question, voiced as though hinting for their view on a work colleague. Jane refused to have the true story drawn from her, but had already gleaned three different approaches to the same situation; have it out, be tactful yet firm and delicately prise the answers free through cunning.

  Jane felt a surge of anticipation when she heard the Sunbeam pull up outside. There was a slight delay and she pictured Will pushing the motorcycle onto its stand, removing his crash helmet and sliding it behind the front wheel before jumping up the two steps to the front door.

  Knock, knock.

  She took a deep breath and walked to the door.

  The moment she opened it Will scooped her up to kiss her. When he let her go she was pleased to see that in the few days he'd been gone, his bruises had faded and the grazes weren't as angry or raw. This time when she touched his face he didn't pull away.

  'You look a picture Jane. I've missed you.' He hugged her again. 'What would you like to do tonight?'

  'I don't mind. I'd like to hear about your visit.'

  'How about we stay here for a while? Will Mrs Foster mind?'

  'I'm sure she wouldn't. She's visiting family this evening anyway.'

  Will theatrically nudged her and winked. In his best villainous cad voice he smarmed, 'We're all alone eh?' He raised his eyebrows in exaggerated suggestion.

  'If you hadn't already been beaten up, I'd do it myself.' The moment Jane said it the smile dropped from her own and Will's faces, both somehow falling into their own thoughts on his injuries. Will's smile returned quickly and he laughed.

  'The Sunbeam beat me up alright. She's more jealous than any woman.'

  Jane smiled, but was sure it didn't look genuine and they walked to the kitchen where she put the kettle on to boil.

  'Are you hungry?'

  'No, just a cuppa will hit the spot thank you.'

  While the tea was made and a few biscuits searched out, Will told Jane about his visit to the farm. As was expected, Harry's parents were being strong for their remaining children. Daniel was a very mature sixteen and was trying to absorb and soften the pain for his younger siblings in any way he could. Jacob and Sylvie were grieving outwardly, in contrast to their parents' and brother's inner pain. All were trying to be brave. Will explained how each of them had a different grief; he said he'd never realised how many types there were.

  'They have some good friends and people have been very kind.'

  'How are you?' Will shrugged in response, as Jane paused in loading the tea tray.

  'I don't know. I feel numb sometimes. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I'm angry.' Will waited for the teapot then lifted the completed tray and carried it to the living room as Jane followed. They sat together on the settee and Will continued. 'Before Harry went, we had a long talk about this happening.' He felt the need to lighten the mood with a quip. 'Not tea and biscuits, obviously. We talked about death and fear and those we'd leave behind. But the main thing was that we talked about doing the right thing. That's often the hard thing isn't it? Knowing what the right thing is. Harry knew. He knew straight away; the rest of us have caught up now, those of us who didn't understand the urgency, the they'll call us when they need us brigade. Even though we talked about dying I suppose it's human nature to somehow believe we'll be alright, that it won't be us. We wouldn't do half the things we do if we were truly aware of our own mortality would we? Being able to say that we did the right thing is what we should all aspire to.' He started to pour the tea. 'I'll be mother. Although my mother would frown because it's not had time to brew.'

  'Did you tell Jack and Maggie that you and Harry talked about dying?' Jane accepted the cup and saucer that Will offered and put it down on the table.

  'Yes I did. I wondered whether I should and I decided yes. I told them because Harry said that whatever happened, whether he came back whole or broken or didn't return at all, he'd done the right thing. And I wanted them to know that he said that. I knew he hadn't talked about dying with them; he brushed off any talk of it.'

  'Did it help them to know how he felt?'

  'Yes, it did. It helped me too.' He patted her knee quickly. 'Come on sunshine, what's our plan for the rest of the day?' Will was clearly keen to end the sombre conversation. 'No work for me tonight so the city's our oyster.'

  'Oh gosh Will, I don't know. What would you like to do?'

  'Well, as I'm topped up to the hilt with TVO and feeling frivolous, let's just get out of the city and go for a ride. We'll see where Sunbeam takes us shall we?'

  'That sounds perfect.'

  Tea finished and cleared away, Jane descended the stairs wrapped up warm and ready for the outing. Will eyed her up and down. 'Gorgeous, but your legs'll be cold. It's pretty chilly out there.'

  Jane shrugged.

  'I'll be alright.'

  'Hang on.' Will raised a finger and dashed outside. Soon he returned with the small bag he'd taken to the farm. He plonked it on a chair and rummaged around in it for a moment, before pulling out a pair of trousers and offering them to Jane. 'Here you go, whip these on.' Jane crossed her arms.

  'Really?'

  'Yep. You'll look a treat, honest.'

  'Will, they'll fa
ll down.' Will put up a finger to silence her then took off his belt and offered it to her.

  'There we are. If it's too big, I'm sure you have something you can use, a scarf or something.'

  Jane sighed.

  'Wait here then. I won't be a minute.' She trotted upstairs and soon returned wearing Will's trousers and with a blue scarf in her hand.

  'Perfect.' Will smiled. 'You look perfect.' He took the scarf from Jane and, as she held up her arms he carefully threaded it through the belt loops on the trousers and tied it up. 'Smashing. Come on.' He took her hand and they were soon riding through the busy streets on their way to anywhere.

  Answers

  When Will stopped the Sunbeam and they climbed from their seats, the wind felt colder. It was milder in the city, between the buildings and amongst the activity. They'd stopped in a small town and hovered next to the bike as they glanced around deciding what to do next.

  'Shall we just wander?' Will asked, taking Jane's hand.

  'Yes, sounds good.' They walked along the empty shopping streets for a while before ending up perched on a wall watching the town's inhabitants in the early evening.

  After considering the three options her friends had given, Jane knew which one it would be. Her relationship with Will would be honest; there would be no subterfuge in trying to glean any revelations from him. She had questions for him to answer and would ask him outright, no messing.

  'What part are you playing Will?' Will looked down at his feet uncomfortably for a second.

  'I don't know what you're getting at Jane. At the Majesty?' He looked innocent.

  'What part are you playing with me?' She paused but he didn't respond. 'Ok, let me give you a list then, some ideas. Someone called you Hugh at the school hall the first day we met; I know they called it to you and you know that your resemblance to Mr Callaghan is uncanny. You say you came off your motorcycle but it wasn't damaged, there's not a scratch. I looked. You turned up at Mrs Foster's completely battered, like you'd been attacked. Who comes off their motorcycle and lands so hard on their face as well as their body?' Will didn't take his eyes from her as she spoke. 'That was the same day our telephone call was supposedly cut off, only I know that's not what happened Will. I heard the commotion at your end. And I saw you at the Grandchester, I know I did. You came in, walked across the lobby and went upstairs. And one of the maids saw Mr Callaghan walk up the stairs twice in the space of a few minutes. I know one was you. Why did you do that?' There was no response. 'Why were you there? Don't bother saying it wasn't you.' As Jane watched him, Will bit his bottom lip. 'And I know you have a Grandchester hotel key in your pocket.' Will sighed, puffing out his cheeks, and looked forlornly at Jane. The pause seemed to go on forever as she waited.

  'Ok.' Will looked into Jane's eyes with a seriousness he never had before. He turned from the joker, tossing out glee and spontaneity in his wake, to something else. She'd seen many things in his face over the last few weeks. She'd witnessed fun and teasing, softness, sadness and distress, careful concern, gentleness, but never this depth of dark seriousness and confession.

  He was a predator caught, a villain unveiled, a trickster revealed; or an innocent accused.

  'Your Mr Callaghan. Hugh. He asked me to help him out and offered to pay me. He asked if I'd…well…he asked if I'd stand in for him for a day or two.' Jane didn't know what explanation she expected but, of all the wild things that she could imagine but give no name to, it absolutely wasn't this. If it wasn't for the expression on Will's face, she'd have told him to stop messing about. 'The person at the school hall the day we met obviously thought I was Hugh. The job was easy, Hugh said, just go to the hotel, borrow some of his clothes, go out and about, stay at the hotel a night or two and then leave.' He turned his body towards Jane's. 'I could earn some cash by staying two nights at the Grandchester, eating good food and staying in a nice room, all paid for? He asked me some weeks back, saying he'd seen me at the Majesty. I thought it was all a bit odd. Understandably. And I declined. But then I bumped into him again; or he bumped into me, who knows. Anyway, he asked again and I said yes. I had to say yes this time Jane. I need the money now, for Maggie and Jack, before I get called up. But he told me not to tell anyone, especially not you. That was all part of his instruction. It was ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.' Jane sat wide eyed, stunned silent. 'I wanted to tell you Jane. God knows how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to invite you up to the room, to call room service, to pretend we were part of the Grandchester set, have some fun. I wanted you to be one of those ladies of luxury, to be a guest at the hotel for a little while and not to work there. It wasn't any fun on my own. It sounded exciting, but without you to share it with me it was just a job.' He was apologetic, eyes lowered like a schoolboy caught out, hand deep in the sweetie jar.

  Jane tried to ignore the softness of Will's eyes as he painted an attractive picture of the two of them, luxuriating for free at the Grandchester. If she allowed her eyes to see the vision, she might blush, or tingle head to toe, or say 'what the heck, let's do it, let's be somebody else.'

  But Jane forced her head to beat her heart down. She had to stop the little tapping of anticipation growing into a mad thumping beat of excitement and daring. Sensible Jane triumphed over the newly impulsive, live for the moment Jane; the latter had been coaxed further to the fore every day by the spontaneous Will and was getting harder to deny.

  'Despite his instruction you're telling me now. Why couldn't you have told me then?'

  'Because it's all over now. Hugh eluded to there being some peril. I thought that was over the top, even knowing what all your hotel gossips say about him. But I couldn't take the chance of putting you at any risk. I had in mind that maybe he was just wanting to get ahead of some debt chasers or something, wanted to nip off somewhere and do some business while people thought he was still here.'

  'And he gave you money to do this?'

  'Yes.' Jane frowned at his admission, inviting further explanation. 'He left it in his room for me.'

  'What about the motorcycle accident?'

  'There wasn't one, you were right. The Sunbeam wasn't being tidied up; Hugh borrowed it. The real accident came when I left the hotel. Two chaps in the street.'

  'They attacked you because they thought you were Hugh Callaghan?' Jane was visibly shocked and Will nodded. 'He put you at risk like that? What did they want? Did they want money?'

  'I don't know what they wanted. They ran off when two ARP wardens saw us and got involved.'

  'I can't believe Mr Callaghan would do that to you?'

  'Jane, he didn't know that would happen.'

  'You think? You said he told you there could be danger, playing at being him. He asked you to be him knowing that there were men who wanted to do that to him.'

  Will took Jane's hand. 'Sunshine. Please. Hugh felt bad when he came back and saw me. He offered me more cash, and somewhere to go. But I didn't take any more money Jane. And I couldn't leave. Jane, you can't let on that you know. You mustn't say anything.' Jane hesitated for as long as she could before she weakened under Will's pleading gaze.

  'Alright, I won't. But please don't come near the hotel again. If it was a case of mistaken identity, it can happen again. Is that why he offered you somewhere to go, because it might happen again? What if those men see you another time, somewhere else?'

  'It's ok Sunshine.' His eyes wouldn't let her go. 'Honestly, it's done with now.' Jane felt his reassurance wrapping around her hesitation, but feared its glaze of safety wouldn't last. Questions bumped frantically round inside her head, struggling against worry and fear.

  After first introducing Jane to the Halls, Will had talked to her of their hardships and his worries for them with their eldest son away. Despite the relative comfort of living on a farm when it came to the availability of vegetables and milk, their life was a hard one in many other ways.

  Even before the war had finally hit with its full force, the farm had been seeing a downturn
in its profits. Will helped out as much as he could, with labour and small gifts. They had always turned down what little financial help Will could offer, so he'd been creative with the things he gave them. Now that Harry would not return, Will felt his responsibilities even more keenly. He couldn't soothe the pain of loss but hoped to ease some of the other worries that now weighed even heavier with the death of their first born.

  Jane knew and understood this, loving Will all the more for his own love and sense of responsibility for the Hall family.

  Jane also knew that with limited theatre performances Will's wages were being asked to stretch further than they could; it was enough to ask his wages to cover his own rent and food at times. All these things had made Hugh Callaghan's offer attractive to Will, and Jane feared that any future requests to share an identity would be hard for Will to turn down. His priority was taking care of Harry's family. At any cost it seemed.

  Jane wanted to share her concerns with her girlfriends but her silence had been begged by Will; he'd promised Hugh his discretion. Jane's next catch up with Florence, Aggie and Dorothy was hard. The girls were excited to hear of Jane's flourishing romance but could not know of her deeper fears. Added to Jane's assurance of secrecy was her fear that any break in confidence could somehow put Will in further jeopardy. So, with secrets locked away, the friendly chatting and updating continued and the foursome parted company happily with the usual hugs and kisses and instructions to take care. Jane watched her friends go their separate ways and continued to carry her worry around on her own.

  The next time Jane saw Hugh Callaghan, she smoothed on a veneer of routine and pleasantry. Underneath, hard scratchy dislike rubbed against it. She'd always liked him but now tasted disappointment and betrayal instead, as keenly as blood from a bitten tongue. And bite her tongue she did, now that he seemed able to put someone else at risk the way he had. That the person concerned was Will made the act even more unpleasant and, even though she wasn't, Jane felt like she was smiling at the man through gritted teeth. Bitterness weaved its way into her and prodded a nasty bony finger at a usually kind and gentle heart.