A Deadly Memory

by Gwen Taylor

  Amy went forward with Jai's push then pivoted around to face Sean.

  "That's sweet of you, Sean. I really appreciate it." Amy patted his shoulder. "But she's my family. I have to be here for her."

  His shoulders tightened. "Just consider it. I'm going to be here regardless. I will make sure she's safe. You have my word."

  "I don't—"

  "I think that's a good idea." Jai squinted at Sean and then focused on Amy. "You could use some rest, love. I know you want to be here, but maybe you could let him take tonight."

  Amy looked back and forth between them, finally settling on Sean. "We'll see." She slipped through the door and left the two men standing, staring at each other.

  Jai was fairly tall and thin, almost as tall as Sean's own six-four but much thinner, and seven or eight years' more worth of time had given the man's temple a peppering of gray, something Sean's thirty-five years hadn't done to his own dark hair. Yet.

  Jai reached a hand toward him. "Amy didn't really introduce us. I'm Jai Gilani, Amy's fiancé. But you knew that, I'm sure."

  "Sean Hughes, family friend, detective. But you knew that, I'm sure."

  "So I've heard." Jai gestured toward the complimentary coffee and snacks left by a local church group. "I could use a cup of coffee. You?"

  "I guess."

  Jai poured the surprisingly aromatic coffee into the paper cup and passed it to Sean. "Cheers."

  "Thanks."

  Jai took a short sip from his own paper cup and squinted. "I wanted to talk to you about the wreck. About this investigation."

  "Oh?"

  "Yes. I need to know if Amy is in danger. And don't give me that cop stuff about doing your best, either. Just shoot straight with me. Isn't that one of your expressions?"

  Sean took another sip of the coffee. "I can't say definitively that she will be safe. It did occur to us that Amy could be a target, but after what happened, I don't think so, though the department will offer you and Amy police protection, of course."

  "It is, or, I guess, was my car. And the girls do look a lot alike. I can't help but worry that Amy could be a target too, even though you don't think so. I'm not questioning you doing your job. I just do not want to compromise Amy's safety. Or Piper's."

  Sean wasn't sure if Piper was an afterthought or not. "I understand."

  "I'm sure." Jai looked away. His voice was calm, but his taut jaw and raised shoulders contrasted the image he was trying to project.

  "You seem on edge, Mr. Gilani. Is something worrying you?"

  Jai turned. "I'm a wealthy man, Mr. Hughes. I'm always worried. But yes, if you mean for Piper, I am. She's like a sister to me. In a few days, she will be my family. My family, my concern."

  Sean tossed his half-empty cup into the trash. "I'll tell the Captain to send a couple of uniforms over to the hotel. We did have that in mind, just to be safe."

  "I appreciate it.” Jai took a sip and tossed his own cup into the trash.

  Behind them, the door opened into the waiting room, and Walsh leaned in from the hallway. "I'm out of here, boss. Rawlings said he'd stay."

  Sean avoided Walsh's gaze. "Tell him I'm staying. He can go home."

  Walsh grinned and then assumed a serious face. "Right, gotcha." He tipped his hat and left.

  Sean flashed his badge at the advocate and glanced back over his shoulder at Jai. "I'll see that someone comes to the hotel immediately."

  "Thank you. It is much appreciated."

  Sean nodded and headed toward Piper's room. The button for the automatic doors was a good five feet from the entrance, but they were still not fully opened when he walked through them and into the hushed quiet of the patient recovery area. He tried to avoid eye contact with worried faces and hopeless eyes, instead, keeping his sights on the corner room at the end. Its curtain was drawn, all the way to the edge on both sides. Piper likely didn't want to be disturbed. Certainly not by him.

  Sean pulled a chair up to the corner. From inside he could hear Amy's voice.

  "Anything, what?" Amy sounded hesitant, a little fearful.

  Then Piper's voice quavered out, sad, broken. "I have to know. Don't spare my feelings."

  "What?"

  "What happened between me and Sean?"

  He could hear the tears in Piper's voice, and his heart clenched and fell to his stomach.

  "I'm not sure I know everything. You're pretty tight-lipped, Sis. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" Amy's voice went soft, low, pleading. She was afraid to answer.

  “No, right now. I need to know. The way he looks at me..."

  "Oh, Piper."

  Sean gripped the chair. There was a minute of silence and then Amy's voice.

  "All I know is what you told me. You all had this big fight about you taking the detective's job in Barton because they wouldn’t promote you here. You said he didn't love you enough to support you against obvious discrimination. The good old boys taking care of their own like everywhere else, but he didn’t see things your way, and you ended up leaving, moved two hours away right into the heart of the city. You thought he would come after you, but he didn't. So you stayed. Stubborn as always. Him too. Both of you dug in. And you didn't go back. End of story."

  "End of us."

  Piper's words were quiet, but they shot through him as if that night three years ago had just happened all over again.

  She spoke again. “Was I right? About them passing me over?”

  Amy’s voice was laced with sarcasm. “It’s the same good old boys’ club it always was. He got the promotion right after you left. But now you’re both detectives. It worked out, I guess.”

  “Did it? Then why do I feel like I lost everything and nothing worked out at all?” Piper’s voice trailed off on a sob.

  He wanted to stand, to walk away, but his heart was back in place and hammering against his ribs. That was truly the old Piper in that room. He would have protected any version of her, died for any one she might be, but that Piper had the power to knock his legs out from under him like no one else ever had. The thought that maybe he’d been wrong⁠—if Amy saw the same thing⁠—clinched at his already battered heart. Had he been blind to it because it meant he got the promotion?

  In his gut, he knew the revelation that she made didn't change things. When her memory returned, the Piper that had left him would be in her place— and so would her betrayed feelings, the ones she said he chose to ignore, that stole her away from him. She wouldn’t want her old life back then. He had to get that straight in his head.

  And his heart.

  4

  Piper woke to a light touch on her hand. Panic had her sitting up and pulling away. She reached toward the nightstand, seeking the cold steel she knew was there before she remembered where she was. And why.

  The nurse staring at her was still holding her hand.

  Piper rubbed at her eyes and leaned back against the pillows.

  "Hey. You okay?" The nurse smiled at her. "Second nature, huh?"

  "What?"

  "You don't look like a cop, but you act like one." The nurse sat on the edge of Piper's bed, smiled, then held her hands up in surrender.

  Piper smiled back. "You look like a nurse, but you don't act like one."

  "Ha. I try to treat every patient like a friend because you never know when it could be one." She winked. "Sorry I woke you, hon. I saw that place on your hand earlier and thought I had better put something on it."

  She held up a cotton ball and tilted her head toward the room's curtained entrance.

  "I had to get by your gatekeeper, but we have history, so he let me pass. Didn't mean to scare you. I know you've had a rough go of it." She leaned over, rubbing the cotton ball on the angry red spot where the original IV had been torn out. "I'm sure pulling for you, too, girl."

  Piper bit at her lip. "Thank you for that."

  "You're welcome, hon. You need anything else? Ice chips, a soda, a hunky policeman? I may not act like a nurse, but I know good medicine whe
n I see it."

  "I just want to get the hell out of here. Can you arrange that?"

  She chuckled. "Maybe. You're doing pretty well, considering. I'm Lynn, by the way."

  "Nice meeting you, Lynn." Piper offered her non-IV hand, liking the woman already. After the recent events, it was good to feel at ease with a stranger and not fear for her life.

  "Yeah, hon, you too." She winked at Piper and whispered, "Wish it were under better circumstances, but at least you get one of Mirror Falls' most eligible bachelors as your bodyguard. He's the cutest thing. I've seen him peering in here every so often, and, don't let your head swell, but I caught him smiling at you once. And he doesn't smile much, that one."

  Piper didn’t quite know how to process that, but it came with a flutter of emotions in her belly. "Yeah, well…my head already swelled." She touched her cheek. "Not a fan."

  Lynn laughed. "So it did. That's gone, though. You look good as new."

  It was Piper's turn to laugh. It jarred her but didn't hurt as bad as she thought it would. "If this is new, I'd rather be old."

  "Oh, don't worry, hon. You'll be right as rain in no time. Until then, I think you should eat something. I know a guy in the cafeteria who can get a pudding and a lime soda up here in no time flat. What do you say?"

  Piper wasn't sure why the woman's kindness made her feel so alone. It hit her hard. She nodded, grateful for the offer.

  Lynn patted Piper's arm. "Hey, don’t you worry. We’re never given more than we can handle. I know you're feeling pretty lost. That won't last, though. Nothing lasts forever."

  That hit her right in the gut. Nothing. Except maybe her memory loss.

  "What if it does? Last, I mean, this amnesia. Sounds silly, but I can't remember my life. I can't remember my sister's fiancé, a man she's marrying in days' time for goodness’ sake. Can't even remember what got me in here. Nothing."

  She didn't know why she was telling this to a stranger. It simply blurted itself out, ending with the dread she hadn't spoken to anyone else. "It’s like I’m not me anymore."

  "You poor dear. That'll come back too. Just like that,” Lynn snapped her fingers, “one day you'll be sitting there, and bam, you'll remember. And you'll feel like yourself again."

  "What if I don't?" She'd voiced it, her fear of never knowing, of failing at her own life.

  "You will." Lynn adjusted Piper's blankets. "I'll be back with that snack in a bit. I'll even sneak one for your hunky officer, too. He's a nice guy, one of the good ones." Lynn winked at her. "Maybe we can lure him in here with chocolate pudding and lemon-lime soda, you think? It might take your mind off your troubles."

  "No thanks. Just got out of a relationship. Or one I thought I was in." Oh, the irony. Thinking about it made her feel ridiculous and small all over again. She wanted to forget. Ironic, she thought, that with all that was missing she wanted more gone. Or to at least not feel it so fresh and painful.

  "Been there. But that's all the more reason to have a pudding date with Officer Hottie. We’ll have you on the mend in more ways than one. Be back in a bit."

  "Thank you."

  Piper stared around the room. The ache of loss, the biting loneliness of knowing love was gone, hit her with a force that made her tremble. Her fingernails dug into the tender flesh of her palm. She would trade physical pain for the excruciating heartache she had. Right now, it felt like she was going to die from it.

  No, no, no. You’re not starting this again.

  She lay back, trying to meditate and find her center, wherever that was. She relaxed into the awkward hospital bed.

  A knock on the glass startled her out of the zone.

  Sean stood at the entrance holding two puddings and two sodas. Shit.

  He offered a tentative smile like he would give a lost child. It made her feel even more ridiculous. He lifted the pudding up for her to see. "Heard you were finally hungry."

  Her heart lurched forward, fighting against her ribs for release. Sean was the hunky cop? At least he was single and she hadn't thrown herself at someone else's man. The thought hurt. He could be someone else’s forever.

  "Can't see you eating hospital food, though.”

  She cocked her head. "Then get me the hell out of here."

  Sean’s lips quirked in a slight grin as he pulled the lid off the pudding cup and stuck a plastic spoon in it. "Here. Your doctor will be by at six this morning. Lynn said he's a good guy."

  "He seems competent. I guess I'll agree to his niceness when he lets me out." She adjusted her hospital gown and then stopped. What was the use? He'd certainly seen her at her worst. Edema and a crumply hospital gown weren't going to make or break his image of her. Seemed he had already changed his mind on that account.

  She remembered the way he’d pulled away from her last night, and a chill went down her spine. She rubbed at her arms to dispel the cold and wished she wasn't stuck here in this room. Right now, her feet wanted to carry her farther away than they ever had before. Sean glanced up at her.

  "Doing okay?" He stuck a straw in her soda and passed it to her. "Did you rest well?"

  "You tell me."

  He grinned, the first hopeful expression she'd seen on his face. "You seemed peaceful enough at midnight." He checked the utilitarian clock on the wall opposite her bed. "It's three a.m. now, and you're raring to go."

  "Wouldn't you be?"

  "I would. Probably would have walked out of here long ago."

  "I tried." She looked down at her hands. "Might try again."

  "I'm sorry this happened to you, Piper. So damn sorry."

  "Me, too."

  "How are you really doing?" He lowered his voice. "Are you scared?"

  Piper looked into his eyes. This time he didn't look away.

  "A little." The quavering in her voice scared her too.

  I’m stronger than this.

  "I’ll be fine, though. I'll be on my feet soon, and I can take care of myself."

  "You know that I'll do everything I can to find those sons of bitches. Everything."

  "I know, and I want to thank you."

  "For what?"

  "For bringing me here, waiting, standing guard. You didn't have to, not after..." Her throat closed. The words wouldn't come. She ignored the straw and drank from the can. The bubbles tickled, but they eased the dryness. She tried again. "After what happened between us. After whatever it was."

  "I'm always here for you, Piper. That didn't change."

  "Just me, then? I changed?" Was that what had happened? She had done something to him, to them? Had he not loved her enough? Had she really pushed him away? Her heart wouldn't accept it. It couldn't be true.

  "Not now. Another time. When you're feeling better." His face actually looked paler.

  "I just want to know. Please, Sean. Please tell me what it was. I can’t believe one little fight did all...all this. I deserve to know that at least. Just…tell me."

  He eyed the curtain like a caged animal who sees the door open finally. She knew he wanted to refuse, to bolt, but he sat on the bed. His Adam's Apple bobbed, a sure sign he was upset. Dredging up their painful past wasn’t what she wanted for him. She didn't want to hurt him, but…at least he still felt something. At least I’m not the only one in pain.

  His jaw worked, and then his gaze locked on hers.

  "We fought."

  "And?"

  "You won. We lost."

  "Oh…Sean, I’m…" She shook her head. How could she apologize for something she didn’t even remember? Yet, sitting here, staring at the man who even now set her heart aflame, she couldn’t understand why she’d ever let him go. Or why, after all they’d been through, that he’d let her go.

  Silence grew between them. Piper felt she must literally swallow her pride or whatever was in the lump in her throat. She cleared it as best she could around the tightness and waiting tears. "What did we fight about? I mean, really fight about?"

  "You getting a promotion, politics at the precinct⁠
—you said some harsh things⁠—and about starting a family...I wanted to...."

  When he didn’t finish, she asked, “So, I didn’t want to for some reason, right? Is that what you mean?”

  He didn’t have to reply. The look in his eyes said everything she needed to know, and it made her stomach quiver. She didn't know what could have changed to make her not want that, something she’d dreamed about since the beginning. She wanted him to go on, to say more…but she couldn't speak. All her words were pooled around her, lying on the floor where she had dropped her heart.

  She could see his struggle etch across his face in tense lines. He wanted to say more but wasn’t sure he should. But the not knowing was eating away at her. She couldn’t stand it.

  “Jesus, Sean, just tell me everything already. I know you’re holding back.” She hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly.

  His brow tightened as he swallowed again and offered his terse response. "You got offered the detective position in Barton, a promotion, more pay, more hours, less us. You were tired of small towns, you said, and never moving up here in Mirror Falls because you were a, what did you say, yeah, mere woman. Good old boy system holding you down is what you said. Barton offered, Mirror Falls didn’t."

  Her breath caught. "I took it?"

  "Yeah. Looking back, I guess I'd say you were afraid of something. Maybe being tied down to me forever." The last few words were like a knife. Straight into her heart. And he looked like he'd been punched.

  "No, it couldn't have been." Her heart denied what he had said. That could never be true. She knew it, even if she couldn't remember. “Was I wrong? About here, I mean. Were the good old boys unfair? I don’t remember much after a certain point, but I remember fighting hard as nails to get where I was, getting passed over that time for what’s-his-name’s nephew.”

  “I didn’t think so then…”

  “What about now?” She had dared ask. She watched him closely.

  “Yeah, well…I don’t know, Piper, maybe… but that’s all in the past.” He cleared his throat and looked away. "Let's talk about something else.”