A Deadly Memory

by Gwen Taylor

  "Let me help you next time, Sean." She pulled a pillow off the couch and put it behind him, keeping her hand on his chest as she did. "You don't want to be back in the hospital."

  "No, I don't, but I don't want to rely on someone else for every move I make." He saw the flash of her eyes at his words. "I mean, I want to—"

  "Stand on your own two feet? I know, but that's life. Sometimes you have to accept a little help." She gave him a smug smile. "I think I've heard something like that before."

  "Pot."

  "Kettle."

  Piper smiled. They'd said that to one another often, a little inside joke. And now he'd used it and she'd replied in turn. Despite his sore ribs, a peaceful feeling swept over him and he smiled too.

  Nana came back with an armful of albums and lay several in his lap and shoved the rest into Piper's arms. "You all got nothing better to do."

  Sean cringed. This was the first time he'd been away from work in years. And now he was spending his vacation days with a hole in his side and a bunch of photo albums weighing him down.

  Nana opened the album on top of his lap and pointed.

  "Doesn't that just take you back?" She sighed happily, plucking the picture from its plastic housing, and turned the Polaroid over to read the date. "That was when you graduated from ROTC. Remember? I was so proud of you."

  "Yes, Nana, I remember, but shouldn't we be going forward instead of backward?" Sean caught a glimpse of Piper's face. She had winced at his words. The warm, peaceful feeling he'd had was gone. He hadn't meant to, but his words had hurt her.

  "Maybe we can do this later."

  Nana looked back and forth between them. "Okay, then. I'll get back to my laundry."

  Piper excused herself to go upstairs, leaving him alone. Sean stared at the empty room. Not even a television. He suddenly felt very alone. He hadn't realized just how much he'd wanted Piper around until he heard her footsteps and saw her come back into the living room with a laptop clutched under her arm and the box she'd brought back bouncing in front of her as she walked.

  His heart skipped a beat. He wanted her there.

  She smiled, the half-lift of her lips that meant she had something interesting to tell.

  He waited.

  Piper put the laptop on the coffee table. "I found something you should see. I think there's more to my case than we knew."

  22

  "That's Gamble." Piper pointed to the face she'd recognized from the file. "But the man shaking his hand," she zoomed in on the picture, "isn't clear enough to make out. He's in the shadows too far. He's mostly a disembodied arm."

  She moved the computer to Sean's lap and tapped the pad for the next photo. A close shot of the other man's hand popped up. And its large square ring with what looked like a horseshoe etched in silver on the ebony surface.

  "That looks familiar." Sean moved to the next picture. Another of the man's hand, then a blurred photo of the men exchanging a briefcase. He glanced up at her. "And you found this where?"

  "In that empty paperweight on my desk. It was taped to the photo that came with it." Piper pulled the paper from her pocket. "It has three numbers on it. Dates, I believe. Look."

  She passed it to him and watched him frown. Her own reaction had been elation followed not too long after by a response similar to his. It was something, this find, but that something was still unknowns and more questions.

  Sean handed her the paper back. "Who did you tell about this?"

  "No one. I borrowed a computer from the station, from that Ted guy, and he also gave me these." She pulled the cardboard box close, set the basket of gun potpourri aside, and picked up the manila folder Ted had given her. "The photos they got off the burner phone. Of me. Look at this one. Remember how we figured where that was taken? At the cafe? "

  "Yeah."

  "Look at this." Piper passed him the photo of her staring straight at the camera. "I saw them, Sean. I saw them taking the pictures. I'm positive. Look at my face."

  "You don't know that."

  But she did. In her gut, she was sure she had seen them. Her gaze was too aware, too pointed. "You know me better than I know myself, you said so back at my apartment, remember? Look at me. Isn't that me looking angry, looking fit to be tied as you'd say? I know I knew."

  He nodded. "Okay, so maybe you knew, but what does that mean?"

  She slumped. That she didn't know. She felt that it had something to do with her accident, the domino events that came after it. But that was only a hunch.

  "I don't know, but I know it means something. And so do all those shots of that man's hands. The close up of the ring. It means something, too. I just don't know what. I…," she struggled to form the words, but she knew they were true, "I need you, Sean. I need your help. You do know me, maybe better than I know me, certainly right now you do. Please?"

  "You really believe that?"

  There was a funny look in his eye, a note in his voice she dared not label. She might misread, let her heart get ahead of her mind.

  He held her gaze. "And you want my help? My way?"

  She didn't answer right away.

  "Piper?"

  Piper swallowed. "Yes. And Yes. And I suppose."

  "That's probably as good as I can get out of you. I'll take it."

  He smiled, and Piper's heart stuttered. She took a deep breath. She had to ask what she'd been wanting to know. She needed to know why they were no longer together. Even if it ruined the moment right now.

  Piper took another long breath. "I think we need to talk about how things were left between us. I want to know everything that happened between us. It's important to helping me get my memory back."

  His smile faded, but he nodded. "What do you want to know?"

  "What exactly did we say? Why didn't you come after me?"

  There. It was out. What she had wanted to know. What she had probably wondered for the last three years.

  She watched him, watched the muscles around his mouth tighten, his eyes darken. He pushed himself back against the chair like he wished he could get away from her question.

  "Okay, you don't have to answer." She looked down at the box that held her life. Not that she had found answers in there either.

  His gazed followed hers. "No, I'll tell you."

  Piper hugged the box to her, avoiding his eyes. She was both afraid and eager to hear what he would say. To find closure or whatever awaited her finally knowing.

  "You had put in for a detective position in Barton." His hand played with the tassels on the pillow "Before we got engaged. You’d been fed up here. And then one day, you got the call."

  She didn't look up. "I remember putting in an application. But that was a long time ago."

  "We discussed it. You wanted us to move to Barton, or at least closer to the city so you could commute, said we’d both have what we wanted then." He cleared his throat. "I guess I wasn't willing to meet you halfway, even in location."

  "Oh. And so I went without you?"

  "No, you hadn't decided, until we fought. And to be fair, you begged me to work it out and come with you. But I felt like you were....”

  “What?”

  He stared straight ahead.

  “Like I was what?”

  “It felt like a betrayal. Abandoning me, you know, for something better.”

  “Oh.” It came out quietly. Like his mom had abandoned him because he wasn’t the life she wanted.

  "Why couldn't we work it out? Get past that. I don't know what happened to change my mind, but I can't imagine not wanting to have a family with you. That part I know for sure.” Piper swallowed. That hadn't come out right. "I mean, when we were together, I had wanted one."

  Sean was silent for a moment. Her stomach feared the worst. So did her lungs. She dared not breathe.

  He swallowed, then his eyes met hers. "You said you wanted the opportunity to have it all. Your career, a family, but you left because you said I wasn't willing to compromise."

 
; "Were you?" She was looking into his eyes. There was pain in their blue depths. Pain she had put there. Pain she wanted to take away.

  "No. I guess I wasn't. I didn't want to move. Looking back, I should have been willing to do whatever it took for us, but I let a little pride get in my way. Let my past come up and color everything you were saying. You got a better job. You were moving on without me. I pushed you to choose."

  "But you got the promotion here. I’d been here longer. I just wanted a fair shot. Guess I wanted it more than I wanted to compromise too. But I can see how you thought I chose the job.” She cringed. That was what he had said earlier. She hadn't chosen him. The silence stretched like a rubber band. She waited for the break, the recoil, the sting.

  "Yeah." His face was passive, but there was a twitch at his mouth, a few bats too many of his eyes. He was hurting. Her fault. But she couldn't shoulder all the blame. She thought about the question that had plagued her since she had found out they had fought.

  "And you chose to stay." That was the sticking point for her. He hadn't come after her. Not even tried.

  "I thought you were ready to move on like you wanted. I was convinced you were like...that you were moving on."

  It was quiet again. Except for the very loud pounding of her heart. She dared to look at him. His mother leaving him had always been a sore spot. He barely spoke of her.

  Sean's hand covered his side. He held her gaze. "Did you?"

  “What?”

  “Did you move on?”

  Did she? Piper wished she knew. "All I know is I don't think I would have, but I honestly don't remember what happened, what would have led me there, and I don't want to tell you what I don't know to be true."

  The kitchen door opened slightly.

  "Back from Bingo already?" Sean glanced at the clock.

  Piper eyed the doorway warily, afraid that Nana had brought some new mementos from Piper's former life with Sean. But Nana's hands were shaking and her eyes were full of fear.

  "I'm sorry." Nana was pale, her mouth working like there was more she wanted to say, more that wouldn't come out.

  A sick feeling swept over Piper. Her gut was telling her something was terribly wrong.

  Sean stood to his feet, swaying slightly. "What is it, Nana? Nana?"

  "Don't move, or I blow grandma's head off." A large blonde woman shoved Nana hard. "Get over there."

  Nana stumbled forward, her legs hitting the coffee table. She barely caught herself with Piper's help. Piper's anger flared.

  "Charlene!" Piper helped Nana steady herself. "Leave them alone! They have nothing to do with any of this. You only want me."

  The woman grinned, her round face and missing teeth making her look like a jack-o-lantern. "Consider it collateral damage."

  Piper eased closer to the potpourri basket, glancing back at Sean and letting her eyes stray to the basket. He blinked twice. Piper hoped he understood. She focused on Charlene.

  "Stay where you are!" Charlene aimed the gun at Nana. "I'll blow her brains all over this room!"

  "I'm staying." Piper held up her hands. "I thought you wanted me."

  "I'll tell you when to move!" The woman pointed the gun at Sean. "How about I put another one in him first?"

  Piper lunged, putting herself between Charlene and Sean. "No!"

  "Get back, Piper." Sean's voice was low and taut.

  "No." She wasn't letting anyone else get hurt. Never again. She would take the bullet.

  Behind her, Sean's breathing sped up. She heard the hitch as he struggled. Piper let her hands fall to her side, relaxed. She wanted to be ready and aware.

  Sean was breathing through his nostrils now. Heavily. Loudly. "Piper, get out of the way. You said you'd do things my way."

  "Not like this." She saw him move to the side behind her and she blocked him with her body before addressing Charlene. "You'll have to go through me."

  "Fine. Then I'll blow you both away." Charlene pointed the gun at Piper's chest. "Right where he shot Charlie."

  "Oh, no, you don't." Nana jumped up and tackled Charlene, pushing her arm upward. The gun fired, and plaster fell from the ceiling.

  Piper ducked and dodged. A spattering of white littered the table and carpet. Nana was still holding on, her strong arms keeping Charlene's gun up in the air, pointed away from her and Sean.

  Sean moved behind Piper, going left toward the coffee table.

  "Move Nana!" Sean's voice boomed out in the room.

  Piper lunged forward, chopping at the woman's wrist with one hand and gripping the gun with the other. Nana let go, and Charlene found leverage.

  Charlene jerked her hand back, the gun waving wildly over her head, and kicked Piper in the stomach.

  Piper fell backward into Sean's legs.

  Sean stumbled forward like he'd hurt himself, his hand going straight into the potpourri basket. He fell to his knees and brought both arms up with the gun aimed at Charlene.

  Beads of sweat were dripping from his face, but his hand was steady. "Drop it."

  23

  Sean tapped the squad car and moved back for the cop car to pull out of Nana's driveway. Charlene was calling out threats from inside the car, but he didn't care what they were, not now, not with Nana and Piper needing him.

  He clutched at his side. His ribs ached, and he felt more unsteady on his feet than he cared to admit. But they had caught her, and with that immediate threat neutralized, he could breathe easier, at least figuratively.

  The porch steps were a trial. By the time he made it inside where Nana and Piper were giving their statements and the EMT was checking Nana, his breathing had become labored and shallow. Cold sweat ran from his hairline to his back, and the nausea that had never really left him had intensified. He felt like he might lose the battle to keep it in.

  He paused at the door and wiped the sweat from his face. He looked up and found Piper staring at him, her eyes kinder than he'd ever seen.

  "What can I do for you?" She opened the screen door and came to his side. "I know you hurt yourself in there, and I can see you're hurting now. Please, don't try to take everything on yourself. Let me help. If not me, let someone else help you."

  She stood close to him and reached out a tentative arm. She circled his waist and pulled his arm over her own shoulders.

  "I'm fine." He heard the tension in his voice and prayed that she didn't. He let her take a little of his weight. She bore up under it, and he felt a strange sense of pride that she was strong and capable.

  "No, you're not fine." Her voice didn't offer any consideration otherwise. She walked him inside, her arms strong as she helped him lower himself onto the couch.

  "Where did everyone go?" He glanced around the empty room. "Where is Nana?"

  "Nana insisted on showing the guys how Charlene jumped her from the backseat at Bingo. She's shaking like a leaf, but she's fine. She drove all the way home with a gun pointed at her, and still, you know, she just asked me if she could get me something? Bless her. And don't think you can change the subject." Piper leaned over him and used the tail of her shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. "I know you're not fine. What hurts in particular? Or in general even?"

  She fluffed his pillow, soothed his brow. It felt so good. Being near her felt so good, letting her take care of him felt good. Too good. Too much like they were a couple again.

  But they weren't.

  He started to protest her ministrations. "You don't have to—"

  "I'm sorry, Sean. I've brought so much pain and harm to you and your family."

  "I'm fine. And this isn't your fault. None of it is. You were doing your job, going after the bad guys like we pledged we would. And that makes you a hero."

  "I'm not a hero. Heroes don't let others get hurt. If I hadn't come here, this would have never happened. I can never repay you for all you've done for me, but maybe I can start by leaving. First thing tomorrow, I'll go, and you can get on with your life."

  Her eyes were downcast,
her voice low. He couldn't bear the thought.

  "No."

  His vehemence startled her. And him. She lifted her eyes to his. "Look, Sean, look at the pain I've caused you. You were shot. Because of me. Nana was almost killed. Because of me. Your whole world has been turned upside down. Because of me. It stands to reason that if I left, your world, at least, would go back to normal."

  "You can't leave."

  "Why not?"

  He struggled for the right words. "Because you don't know what it is you don't know. How can you go back to Barton without the knowledge that has almost gotten you killed?"

  She shrugged, and he wanted to shake her. Tell her to stay. To stay with him.

  The tender way she'd taken care of him had given him a feeling he couldn't put a name to, but he wanted it to last. And last. Not end tomorrow.

  He looked at her, the light in her eyes so like the way she used to look at him. With love and devotion only for him. Only his. He wanted that again. "I appreciate you taking care of me."

  "I want to. And I appreciate you. Taking me into your family, helping me with the case, saving my life. You didn't have to, especially with the way we left things."

  "But I wanted to. I couldn't let anything happen to you."

  "And I owe you for that. And this." She gestured to the place where just minutes ago Charlene had come so close to killing them all. "I owe Nana, too. She charged that woman like a bull."

  "All the women in my life are bull-headed."

  "Thank God."

  "Yes, thank God."

  She took his hand and sat beside him. "Sean...I…”

  His heart jumped against his sore ribs, but he barely noticed the ache. His eyes were on hers, on the lips she was biting, on the way they parted. And when she raised her chin, he met her lips with his, reaching his hand up to the back of her neck.

  A soft sigh escaped her mouth, vibrated along his, and he deepened the kiss, pouring years of longing into a kiss that left him gasping for breath. His injuries were still fresh, but not as strong as his desire for her. He felt her lean in, felt her lips yield to his, as his tongue swept into her mouth. They pulled apart for a moment, each looking deeply into the other’s eyes. And then, as if that dam that held back all their longing had burst, they were kissing and touching, their bodies as close as possible, the heat undeniable.