Lord Banshee Lunatic (Nightmare Wars Book 3)

by Russell Redman

  I munched a breakfast that comprised a slab of something bland laced with meds. It reminded me of white bread without a crust, but at least I could add a strongly flavoured condiment. I chose something called marmalade. I remembered that some of my fellow students at the university in Winterpeg had loved it, but I had been too focused on my studies to experiment with weird foods. In space, food was always weird and my companions came from everywhere, so I became far more adventuresome. Regardless, I had never tried it, even on my many trips to the Earth as an agent in Commercial Intelligence. Nasruddin explained that it was supposed to be both bitter and sweet, made from candied citrus peels in a sugary jelly. I could imagine that as the inspiration for the lunar approximation and had to agree that it was a good cover for the meds I was required to take.

  As I ate, he gave me the key to encrypt my three files which I passed back over the comm. I was just starting a short round of exercise when both MacFinn and Kaahurangi arrived. They checked my progress on the field station, consulted briefly with Nasruddin, and gave me a ten-minute grilling about what felt good, what hurt, what I had tried in my physio program, what I wanted to be able to do, and when I thought I would need to do it. The last questions I had to guess at, having been deliberately isolated from the outside world for too long.

  MacFinn laughed at that, admitting the unfairness of the questions which were really intended to assess my mental health. He added that even isolated and near death, I had managed to cause expanding waves of chaos. He expressed concern about what I might do when free to walk around. They moved me back to the wheelchair, set the back upright, and turned me to face one of the blank wall monitors.

  Then my three minders looked at each other, took deep breaths and turned on the monitor. It was like a room had opened on the other side of the screen, a room filled with people. Leilani was there, with Doctor Toyami and Sergei. Raul was there with Begum, accompanied by a pair of people I did not recognize. Admiral Wang was there, standing beside Evgenia, Katerina and former Ministers Morris and Singh. Marin, Tran, and Valentino made another group.

  Admiral Wang stepped forward, bowed, and started, “Agent Douglas, welcome back to the Moon. You have a lot of friends, only some of whom are here today. We would like to give you one more day of peace before integrating you back into the service, but our experience with you warns us there is no chance of that happening. Your advice, however unwelcome at the time, has made possible the transition of power we are currently managing with a minimum of violence and discord. We thank you for your vision and foresight. We don’t wish to place more strain on you than necessary, so I will stop now and pass the floor to some of your colleagues.”

  I could feel the Cripple choking with tears and the Assassin flailing to escape. I shut everyone down but the Ghost. This could be worse than the afternoon of passion with Leilani. I interrupted, “Thank you for that kind introduction. Before we continue, may I remind everyone that I am a weapon aimed at Mars. I believe I am currently implementing my own Mission and I see you arrayed before me as my hope for a peaceful future. I believe that we have blocked the other ten missions that would have been destructive, but we cannot be sure until someone tries to trigger those missions, nor can I be sure that one of them is not already in progress. Do not trust me, for I will betray you. Weigh every word I say for possible trouble. I beg you to be careful.”

  There was silence from the other room. Sergei put on a broad smile and stepped forward, “The forecast for today is for warm, sunny weather with a possibility of blizzards and volcanoes. My Lord Banshee, we remember your warnings, including the warfare, treachery, and untimely death. Regardless, it is good to have you back. Welcome home.”

  Leilani stared at me with haunted eyes.

  I looked at Raul and Begum, who were not actually touching each other. “Begum, Raul, could you introduce me to your new companions?”

  Raul and Begum both laughed, but with a slightly hysterical note. Raul tried to begin, but Begum interrupted, “You made me promise to talk with a marriage counsellor before Raul and I had a fight? These are our referees. May I introduce Counsellors Francois Gerhardt and Yanadar Phan? Counsellors, this is Brian Douglas, our Lord Banshee. Brian, I just escaped debriefing, so Raul and I have not had time to hug yet, much less fight.”

  I laughed, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, do it now!”

  The pair of them wormed past their counsellors, wrapped themselves in each other’s arms, and began a long, passionate kiss that seemed sure to end in an explosion. I glanced at Leilani who was crying silently. Finally, Raul drew his head back without relaxing his grip, looked at me and commented, “You may thank Leilani and Luciana for this. They dragged me straight to the TDF Counsellor’s office when we arrived, to the outrage of the officers who were trying to debrief us. They had prearranged our two counsellors to meet us on arrival. We did not manage to separate poor Begum from her duties when we arrived on the Moon and she was gone to fetch you before we could try a second time. Oh, Begum, promise me you will never do that again. I died a hundred deaths every hour you were away and nearly went insane when the Columbia was hit...”

  The two counsellors stepped in from either side and tried to separate them, but failed as they locked in another kiss. I could have warned them they would have to be faster and more forceful.

  And then all sense of decorum vanished as everyone tried to talk at once. I listened to the rising babble for a minute, then tried to interrupt, “EXCUSE ME, could I thank General Molongo for his support? I don’t see him here...”

  Leilani broke in, “Oh Brian, have they not told you anything? He was assassinated yesterday.”

  The competing voices got louder. Morris shouted above them, “That is why we are all here in one room to welcome you. This is the only place free from spies and assassins. If we trust the reports, the Lunar Viceroy Fenghuang is having trouble asserting her independence from her brother Wolong. The Ghost hunt is just one part of a much larger struggle. We are not sure whether Marcus got caught in the crossfire or was targeted.”

  Then Wang silenced the room by having the loudspeakers bang three times. “Could we have a little order, please. He has just arrived and needs a few minutes to breathe.

  “Although, Agent Douglas, I’m reminded again that you are the most effective shit-kicker I’ve ever met. It is true, there are assassins in our halls, but not many. We don’t know who they work for. Mahatma voices a common opinion that they are agents for the Viceroy Wolong, who has not disguised his intent to rule the whole of near-Earth space as his private fiefdom. However, we have never caught any of the assassins. Lunar Intelligence is working with Viceroy Fenghuang on the case.

  “We are in a TDF facility and by now are fairly confident in the loyalty of our guards. I’m more concerned about your security, which is outside TDF control, under the Lunar Ministry of Health. They are very good, but I do ask you to be cautious.”

  I nodded, “Thank you, I will be appropriately careful. Once I am mobile, I will need at least body armour at all times. Agents Tipu and Ashura, could you bring me up to speed on the legal situation?”

  Katerina spoke up, with only a murmur of conversation in the background. “You probably know by now that I want to punch you properly in the nose, but Surgeon MacFinn forbids it and I cannot kiss it better through the monitor anyways. Eve and I got in contact with Lunar Law Enforcement as soon as we arrived. We now have a surplus of test cases to work through, getting longer by the minute. We, Lunar LE, and the Viceroy’s advisors have an agreement amongst ourselves that offences on the earth stations should be tried on the Earth, and that offences at L1, L2, and the near-Earth asteroid mines must be policed by the space-based wing of the TDF and by the Lunar Viceregal fleet, so that they naturally come to the Moon for adjudication. This is a practical reality more than a principle. The Terrestrial Viceregal Fleet is in firm control of the earth stations. Even Forward Command requires permission to maintain their assigned stations. Both Forward Command an
d the Lunar Viceregal Fleet have chosen to base themselves near the Moon, where they can be resupplied most easily. They support our position but exercise only loose control farther away. Even ships going to Leading and Trailing require an armed escort.

  “Within that framework, the Oxaquino sisters are a special case because they are charging Supervisor Rouseth with treason against the Imperium for her support of the Sultan Mustafa and for her murderous role in the pirate attack. All charges against the sisters are being held until the much more serious charges of treason can be clarified. It remains uncertain whether they ever will face charges, beyond being unusually argumentative and general rowdies.

  “Rouseth’s case is the one of most interest to you because her crimes are against the Imperium and were committed elsewhere. There will surely be charges, but we do not yet know what they will be. She may have acted firstly at the instigation of the Sultan, secondly in a conspiracy with the pirates, or thirdly because she was being driven insane in an emoji attack. All three might be true.

  “Martian Law has an article stating that it applies to everything in near-Mars space, but does not mention other locations. From our early contacts, it sounds like the Imperium is the only trans-factional body to attempt an over-arching legal system in the Belt since the Terrestrial Government abdicated its responsibilities. The factions handled disputes within their own populations but used threats and alliances to deter inter-factional crime. It is like the military chaos of the classical Greek city-states, or the war-torn mess in early-modern Europe.

  “A year ago, Rouseth would have been subject to Terrestrial law, but the Imperium explicitly denies its continuing jurisdiction. There are no laws anywhere that deal explicitly with emoji attacks, although they are analogous to extortion. It is a fascinating case for which no law currently available applies without qualification.

  “We are also being asked to consider the apparently treacherous attacks upon the Quetzalcoatl from the fleet that was intended to protect it. You were on that fleet and I believe were instrumental in getting them to install the LE token to stop emoji attacks. That brought much of the trouble to a halt but seems to have broken their command chain. Now they are trying to decide whether installing the token was itself an act of treachery, or whether it was a common-sense stop-gap to halt a much more dangerous escalation of hostilities. Resolving conflict with a technical fix is apparently dishonourable to many commanders in the fleet.”

  Evgenia intervened, “Brian, I also want to punch you in the nose and have asked Sergei and Raul to hold you still while I do it. I will NOT kiss it better. I have hated every minute that I spent learning the Martian legal system. How can anyone live under such a vicious, vengeful legal code? Did they learn nothing from the Earth?”

  I smiled a bit wanly. “Agent Ashura, they lived under that system by avoiding it whenever possible, resolving their differences by private negotiation, by public debate or by vigilante reprisals. Many of the more esoteric debates were covers that allowed the parties in a dispute to meet without losing face or exposing their disagreements to public view. The outcome of the debate was often a public excuse for the losing party to accept the result.

  “Only the powerful used the official legal system by choice, often laying false charges to eliminate their rivals. They learned that system from the Governors, who cared mostly for their short-term profits, and from the factions, who were fighting for power instead of justice.

  “The trials and executions were a blood sport, one of the few sources of entertainment on a harsh world. I know it is horrible, but the people of Mars have been forced to learn their sense of justice by watching the trials, confessions and executions of convicted criminals. I joined them in that fascination while I was there. It was riveting. We were appalled at each charge and would rage against the despicable wretches who would commit such crimes. We would feel a profound sense of relief when the execution achieved some form of justice. A spectacular case would keep people at home or in the bars for a week; men, women and even very small children would watch the executions obsessively. By the age of four, many preschoolers would play at judges and executioners. A full confession with a suitably grisly execution is the necessary conclusion for a violent crime that catches the public’s attention. Agent Chou, you have been to Mars and must remember how popular those broadcasts were.

  “The people are aware that the system is corrupt locally, but few realize how completely debased it has become because they never hear of cases being challenged or verdicts being overturned. There are no appeals because the executions happen too swiftly. They have a faith in justice that is in defiance of their personal experience. Amongst the people, there is a collective unwillingness to consider that convicted criminals might be innocent.

  “That is why I must make my confession on the Moon. On Mars, even if I lived long enough to reach there, the confession would be written by some prosecutor for the private advantage of one of the factions. On the Moon, the honesty of my confession will be enforced by the Officers of Truth. Mars won’t stop fighting until they understand how badly they have been deceived and what they need to do to correct their mistakes.

  “I am so notorious they will surely broadcast the whole confession live. Because all of Mars will listen and accept my confession, I can tell them truths that they couldn’t hear any other way. That is my Mission, the unique act of Justice that only I can do. It is why I must not die before I make that confession.”

  The room was deathly silent. MacFinn and Kaahurangi stared at me like I had grown tentacles, but the Banshees had heard enough to know what I meant.

  Sergei grated out, “You have lived ten years knowing that they would execute you like that.”

  It was not a question, but it had an answer. “No, only five, since the trouble north of Vancouver. Before I met Agent Pinter, I intended to surrender to the TDF for the crimes I committed against the Earth. I would still have been executed as a traitor, but I might have been able to force Extraterrestrial Affairs to reform its policies when my crimes, committed at their command, became public knowledge on the Earth. I still believe it might have worked when I first arrived back. Ten years of responsible government and honest justice might have done wonders, but it sounds like Kigali was the first governor to even try. In any case, they never allowed the case to proceed and it is irrelevant now.

  “Even then, it would have been far more effective to make the confession directly to Mars through a Lunar court, but I couldn’t think of a way to make it happen. The arrival of the Imperium has opened many possibilities, but I am still unsure how, or if, we can complete the program. Please, Agents Tipu and Ashura, put every effort into that task. You know what is at risk. The pirates, the sisters, the Sultan Mustafa, even the current fighting amongst the factions, are all sideshows. They can be dealt with by any of the clever, dedicated people trained in the ways of true justice who are available on the Moon.

  “You are all able to contribute to that effort and I know these are important cases that deserve your attention. But your unique contribution must be the longer view of why that particular solution is necessary. The others can handle the transition once they understand what needs to be done.

  “Years of work will be needed to rebuild the Imperium as a government and not just an army. You will be needed through all of that, but first, you must survive my trial. You will need to keep each other safe when no one else can be trusted. Promise me you will keep Agent Pinter and Doctor Toyami safe.

  “In any case, the execution doesn’t trouble me. It is inevitable and I have prepared myself to endure it as best I can. I now realize it can be drawn out for a week, but at least it will be over then and Mars will have a chance to heal.”

  As I spoke, Doctor Toyami turned pale as a corpse and sank to her knees. I could not stop talking in time as she pitched forward to vomit. One by one, she was joined by Evgenia, Leilani, and Sergei. I was grateful to be on this side of the monitor, away from the smell. The entire m
edical team descended upon the distressed Banshees, including the two counsellors.

  Behind me, I heard Nasruddin say quietly, “Sir, I will cover your back until you tell me to leave. You will live to make that confession.”

  When he had recovered enough, Sergei looked at me and said, “My Unbelievable Lord Banshee, you throw the damnedest parties. Remind me never, ever, to invite you to my home.”

  Wang took over again. “I think we need to break for a bit and reconvene in smaller groups. Could you give us half an hour?”

  2357-03-21 22:00

  Refugees

  MacFinn commented, “Lad, did I mention sufficiently loudly that we’re enterin a boilin vat o’trouble? Ye’ve managed t’scare breakfast out o’y’friends. Unfortunately, there’re more’n just y’friends waiting on the other side o’that monitor. All o’em are desperate and I hear many blame ye for the whole mess. Put y’thinkin hat on, an try for once not t’drive everyone crazy.

  “An just by the by, ye’re mad. If that’s y’plan, it’ll never work. No one’s so crazy they’ll listen to such a confession and everything I hear says it’s only the powerful who matter on Mars anyways. What do they care about the opinions o’the people?”

  I looked at him with a faint smile. “What do the generals ever care about the opinions of the colonels, lieutenants, and sergeants in their armies? Yet, in the long sweep of history, how many successful revolutions have been led by low-ranking officers who were outraged by the incompetence and corruption of their superiors?

  “Besides, most of Martian society is a meritocracy. People earn their positions through good performance in bad causes. The Martian people are abused from the top and yearn for a real cause that would unite them from the bottom. A good cause that motivates the masses will boil up to the higher ranks. Independence almost did it but was hijacked by the factions. The Imperium was imposed from above and will be just another power play by the major factions unless someone gives it a better reason to exist. If I can make them listen, I may be able to give them that cause, a motivation for the masses to glue the Imperium together in defiance of the factions. I am being handed the largest megaphone that has ever been invented, bigger even than the Emperor’s throne. I will make it work if I can.”