I shook my head and sighed. “Thank you for bringing my purse and phone back.”
“We need to talk about what happened Monday night, Olivia.” He tilted his head, a lock of hair failing across his forehead. I wanted to brush it back from his skin, but if I touched him, I’d want more. Which wasn’t fair to anyone.
I had no doubt Braddox wouldn’t care. He’d screw me without thinking twice which made Jaxon very appealing right then.
“Look, I’ll pick you up tomorrow night for dinner. Be ready at five. We’ll be gone about four hours.” He reached out and chucked gently under my chin with his warm finger. Then he flattened his hand while he was still touching me and he slowly pressed the palm of his hand against the base of my neck. He didn’t kiss me or do anything else, just left his hand there with the heat of his skin burning my flesh.
I’d almost been convinced the only heat I’d had with him was because of his resemblance to Jaxon, but they were proving themselves to be as different as night and day. He didn’t say another word as he dropped his hand and turned.
And walked away.
That’s it. He didn’t push me for a kiss or anything else. Just touched me and left.
I stood there like an idiot for about five more minutes then I turned to go back inside. I stopped, frozen at the sight of Jaxon standing there with two burgers on a tray. He smiled at me. “I didn’t know where you’d gone. I brought you a burger. Are you hungry?”
Had he seen me with Braddox? Had he seen his brother there in the courtyard? Judging by the calm in his expression, the answer was no. He hadn’t seen any evidence of Braddox’s presence.
I needed to keep it like that. I tucked my phone into my pocket and sat down at the table.
He joined me, sitting perpendicular to me as he set the tray between us. His knee bumped mine and he didn’t move it.
I cocked my head to the side, grinning like I hadn’t just promised a date to his twin. “You’re getting pretty friendly there, Jaxon.” I grabbed up the burger closest to me and took a bite.
“Well, if we’re friends, why not be friendly, right?” He leaned close to me, using his thumb to brush something from my bottom lip. My insides, already thrumming from Braddox’s presence, turned to mush. Maybe I could do both brothers at once, get them out of my system and then move on. There was only so much sexual torture a girl could take.
“If you do that again, you might get bit.” I said it soft, like a whisper.
His reply came back fast and filled with promise. “Maybe you didn’t hear me last time. When you bite me, it won’t be my hands.”
I took a deep breath, wondering just where he’d let me put my mouth and when. I picked up a chip he’d dumped form a bag onto the tray. While eating the salty disk, I asked matter-of-factly, “Do you have a timeframe on when I get to do this or are you just going to tease me?”
He side-grinned. “Nah, you don’t want to bite me. I’m just a friend, remember?”
Emboldened by the playfulness in his tone and eyes, I leaned forward, still holding my hamburger in my hands. “Jaxon, I’ve never wanted to bite someone this much, if ever. You tell me where and when, and I’ll come ready.” Heat pooled in my belly and seemed to sink down to my lap. The teasing foreplay was definitely something I’d never done with other friends.
I wasn’t stupid. We were walking a fine line and it wouldn’t take much to push me. I wasn’t sure what it was like for him, but I was close already.
He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “I saw you in first period. You looked mad. Everything okay?”
The note. I shook my head. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
He reached into his rear pocket and his smile faded. He spread out a small piece of paper on the table between us and thrust his finger at its center. “This? Was this what had you upset?”
I dropped my gaze to the words on the paper. Make me bleed.
My cheeks flushed and I looked away from Jaxon’s intense expression. I cleared my own throat and took another bite. He didn’t speak until I’d swallowed and looked back at him,
“Olivia, I can’t help you, if you don’t let me.” His words were soft but filled with purpose.
I shook my head, lifting my burger. “You’re just a friend, Jaxon. You don’t have the right to do anything about any of this. Remember? I can take care of myself.” And I could. I knew I could.
My dad might have died not too long ago, but all growing up, he’d made sure I could defend myself. If some guy tried to rape me, I’d be able to defend myself. I ignored the memory of the pool house and the guy who had tried to force me then.
Maybe they were the same guy. Maybe I just attracted the wrong type.
Whatever was the case, I didn’t want to go over the content of the note with Jaxon. I was already horribly embarrassed that he wouldn’t have sex with me and that he knew I was just as attracted to his twin.
I didn’t want him to know what I was feeling unless I was ready to tell him or show him. Preferably show. The last thing I needed was to say how I was feeling and not have it reciprocated by anyone.
Emotions weren’t my thing.
Maybe I could get Jaxon to reconsider the whole friend thing. There was more we could do without labels. Things that wouldn’t leave me feeling unsettled and flushed most of the time.
I glanced at him, taking another bite of my burger. “Come over tonight. I have pizza.” I wiggled my eyebrows and ignored the threatening note and anything else that might put a divider between us.
He grinned, grabbing a chip and tossing it in his mouth. “Deal. No Star Trek, though.” And he winked.
No Star Trek. But I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t ask him to beam me up. I shook my head at my own mental joke and laughed at his quizzical look.
Maybe that night I’d talk to him about the date I’d promised Braddox. Or maybe not.
The whole point of having Jaxon over was to screw him. He wouldn’t be up for that, if he thought I was choosing his brother the next night. The info was a need to know and Jaxon didn’t need to know.
Chapter 19
Olivia
Jaxon had to sense something was off with me. We kept our relationship as much of a secret as we could with him bringing me lunch and continually glancing at each other in our classes at school, even though we never spoke and we kept a decent distance between us.
I felt like just one of the other girls that watched him with hunger in their eyes. Which only made me jealous and unsure about what I was imagining and what was real. How many girls around us had tasted his lips? The same lips that made me sink and soar all at the same time? My stomach clenched and roiled at the thought.
The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough and I found myself walking back to the apartment – I couldn’t bring myself to call the place home yet.
I checked my phone as I walked. Mom had messaged me multiple times, her anger growing and mounting, evidenced in the sharp tone of her words and the more exclamation points than were probably necessary.
I wasn’t ready to message her back, but I should probably get something back to her before she called the cops and I had to explain that I just didn’t want to talk to her. She did fill the pantry and fridge. Honestly, that thawed my anger toward her and my confusion at what she was doing at the O’Donnells’. I still didn’t understand what she was doing there, unless it involved sleeping with her boss which I was pretty sure was unethical.
What would I say to her anyway? I’m glad you’re not home? I’m close to screwing your boss’s son? I still couldn’t believe that my ex - if he was still my ex – had a twin brother. All of it was mind-boggling.
Braddox had pretty much demanded that I meet him for dinner. He’d been nice about it, but it hadn’t really been a request where he’d take no for an answer.
I shoved a pizza in the oven when I got back and changed into a loose pair of shorts and a tank. The apartment was warmer than I’d expected after the spring wind coming fro
m the ocean chilled off Shores.
A part of me wondered if I would see Jaxon again that night or if I’d pushed him away with my avoidance the rest of the afternoon.
Just in case, I picked up the living room and rearranged my room to make sure any discarded clothes or garbage was taken care of.
A knock at the door intensified the fluttering in my stomach. I sniffed the air as I moved toward the front, glad I’d put the pizza in when I did.
Opening the door, I smiled shyly at Jaxon who stood there with his hands in his pockets. Most of the time he projected confidence, even right then as he stood on my stoop, there was an air of cockiness he couldn’t erase.
But there was also an aura of shyness that drew me to him, something that suggested he might be more vulnerable than he let on.
I swung the door open wide and smiled. “Perfect timing. I need help eating a pizza.”
His shyness dissipated and he grinned as he followed me inside, turning to lock the door for me behind him. “Well, that sounds like a job I can take on.”
I moved into the kitchen and pulled the pizza out from the oven, setting the pan on the table on top of a folded kitchen towel. “Do we want plates or just eat off the pan?” I wasn’t in the mood to do more dishes or even be away from him for too much longer.
“Let’s do the pan. We can cut it and use napkins.” Jaxon took my hand and led me to the table, setting me in the chair right beside his and moved the chair closer to mine as we shared the pan as our plate.
I laughed as he brandished the pizza cutter and made car sounds as he rolled the cutter through the pizza. He grinned as I giggled and I wanted to stay in the moment forever.
It felt innocent, uncompromising. We didn’t have to answer to anyone. Braddox wasn’t hanging over us. Even our lives were something we could ignore for a few minutes as we faced the combo-style pie.
We ate, flirting and joking but mostly just being together.
Everything would change when I told him where I would be the next night. Everything would change. And I had to tell him.
I didn’t have the guts to tell him. Not yet. But I couldn’t get out of telling him either. For some reason, I had to protect the honesty factor in our relationship. I felt like part of that was missing with Braddox, but I needed it with Jaxon.
We finished eating, put things away, and migrated toward the couch. He sat beside me and watched as I grabbed the remote.
“I saw a Star Trek marathon on Sci-fi starting today. Wanna check it out?” I teased him, arching an eyebrow as I turned on the TV.
He reached up and put his arm behind me, leaning close as he growled in fun. “I’m not watching TV.”
Something in his tone told me he wasn’t completely joking. My smile slowly faded and I stared into his eyes. “What are you doing then?”
His own playful tone shifted to seriousness as he reached up with his other hand and twisted a chunk of my loose hair around his finger. “I’m watching you.”
The way he said it left me warm and gooey inside.
I couldn’t let things go any further without being honest about what I was doing the next night and who I was going to be with. Especially considering the fact that I forgot reality when Jaxon got too close.
I rested my hand on his chest, my fingers splayed over the soft dark t-shirt. Taking a deep breath, I turned my gaze to his and spoke softly. “I’m going to dinner tomorrow night with Braddox.”
Jaxon stiffened. He didn’t pull away but he didn’t move closer like I wanted him to. He searched my eyes, the dark brown of his holding me hostage. He was hurt. I could see it in the way his lashes lowered a third of the way and his lips curved down at the corners.
Nothing was said for three seconds, five seconds, and then when he spoke, his broken voice almost destroyed me. “Why?”
Why. That one word was enough to make me question my very existence. Why was I going with Braddox when I sat there with Jaxon and I was comfortable while also being completely aroused? He did things to me that were confusing and surprising and all without touching me.
But then… so did Braddox. Where Jaxon was comforting, Braddox was scary. Where Jaxon made my insides gooey and electrified while leaving me in control of what I wanted, Braddox didn’t wait – he went for what he wanted and took charge.
Was it bad that I liked both tactics? Was it bad that I wanted to figure out which one was the better one for me?
I swallowed, keeping my hand on Jaxon’s chest. I didn’t want to ruin the connection we worked on developing. Yet, there was no going back to the fragile start we’d had moments ago. “Because… I don’t know. Honestly. I feel like I owe it to myself, to you, and to him to make sure I don’t make any rash decisions right now.” I couldn’t back down.
He didn’t understand. I couldn’t leave my history with Braddox on the table just because the newness with Jaxon was overwhelming.
He studied me, blinking and then he said. “Is it because of the money?”
I blinked and jerked my head back. “What? Is it because of what money?”
“Do you want Braddox and not me because he has money and I don’t?” Something hard darkened the shadows in his eyes.
I dropped my hand from his chest and cocked my head to the side. “I can’t believe you just said that.” I couldn’t. Why would he possibly think I was the type of person who cared about money? “I’m not like that.”
“Then why would you go with him? You want him more than me? You want him and not me?” He leaned toward me, resting his elbows on his knees. He’d repeated the question but altered the words enough that no matter what I said, I was hurting him.
I couldn’t breathe but it wasn’t because of what he was doing to me physically. No, instead I was justifiably upset. I was sad that he would think that about me, but also, mad. I straightened and then motioned between the two of us. “Do you feel this?” I studied him. “Can you feel this between us?” I waited for him to nod even the slightest amount before continuing. “I want you… more than I can say. You are the reason we haven’t done anything more. I want you. But… I just… I want him, too. It’s complicated. I don’t know how to explain this. But I’m not going to make any choices when I don’t know you as well as I know him. He and I have a history. You and I have intense attraction.” I didn’t point out that the way he’d treated me the first few days at school weren’t in his favor, either. “While we’re talking about it, how many girls have you… slept with? I mean, you’re all concerned about who I’ve done what with. What about you? Who am I competing with?”
Jaxon held my gaze and then spoke softly. “Olivia, there’s no way there could ever be a competition between you and any other girl. You’re in a level all your own. Anyone I’ve ever touched is like a ghost compared to you.” He reached up and rubbed his thumb across my lower lip, while staring at my mouth. “I don’t care about your past. Just what’s happened with Braddox.”
But then it hit me. This wasn’t a competition. This wasn’t for who could do what for me, or who was worth what. I didn’t care about who had money or who had manners. It all came down to how they treated me and who I couldn’t function without.
So far, being around either of them seemed to limit my capabilities. That wasn’t a pro for either of them.
Jaxon scooted closer to me, bumping his leg against mine. He turned toward me, grasping both shoulders in his hands. “Olivia, you need to choose me. I’m better for you than he is.”
I stared at him, furrowing my brow. Shaking my head, I leaned close, pressing my lips to his and then pulling back. I reached up, resting my hand against his cheek. “But are you? He doesn’t tell me what to do. He expects me to pick him, too, but he doesn’t push me and say I have to pick him. He’s told me he’s going to fight for me. What am I supposed to do with that and what you’re telling me to do?” I shook my head, sighing as I pulled from the distracting warmth of his touch.
Standing, I moved from the couch and Jaxon’s direct
vicinity. How was it possible that he could make me burn with just his mere presence?
On the other side of the room, I turned and rested my hips on the counter. I folded my arms. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just walk away from Braddox. I couldn’t give up what I was discovering with Jaxon. There were so many things I wasn’t sure about. Why did I have to choose right then?
Jaxon followed me, searching me, his eyes narrowing as he got closer and closer.
I lifted my head, watching him warily. “You’re not going to talk me into choosing you.”
He pushed into my space, his heat enveloping me as he braced his hands on either side of me on the counter. Pressing his face close to mine, he moved and made my own face move. It was like we were magnets moving around each other. We couldn’t stay away and we couldn’t get close enough.
His straddled my legs with his on the outside as he leaned closer. Angling his head to the side, he murmured into my ear. “Does Braddox make you feel like this? Does he make you want to drink in the air around him?”
How did he know? I literally couldn’t breathe around him. I wished I was under water and had gills so I could breathe without my mouth or nose.
I closed my eyes and let him rub his face against mine with his almost-silky stubble. I breathed in through my nose, my lips swollen with anticipation. Why couldn’t I think?
“Tell me, Olivia. Does Braddox confuse you like this? Do you want him to kiss you?” His questions were soft and punctuated with a soft kiss on my nose, on my forehead, on my eyelid.
I could feel my determination wavering. There was no way he could tell what he was doing to me. I let him kiss my skin, starting at the soft spot between my ear and the angle of my jaw. He reached up, curling his fingers around the soft curve of my waist.
I sank against his touch. Damn him and my lack of resolve. I slightly sagged, my rear caught by the edge of the counter.
Jaxon leaned back, gripping my waist with both hands.
I oomphed as he lifted and slid me fully onto the counter, my feet dangling from my new spot. Opening my eyes in surprise, I inhaled sharply as I realized his hunger for me matched mine for him. I wanted to kiss him, but I wouldn’t want him to stop and he had no interest in following through.
Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1) Page 17