Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1)

by Taylor Blaine

  He leaned forward, his eyes blazing with mounting anger. “What exactly have you done with Jaxon?”

  What had I done with Jaxon? Nothing. Pretty much nothing. I shrugged and sighed. “Nothing more than I’ve done with you.”

  Something darkened in his eyes. He picked up his spoon and, while holding my gaze, he murmured. “Did you dance for him?”

  I held my breath. Did I lie? No. I couldn’t. I licked my lips and sighed, grabbing my own spoon and glaring down at my mousse. “No. That needs to stay between us. Do you understand? That would…” I shook my head. That would destroy Jaxon. I wouldn’t be able to tell him I thought it was him, when I actually hadn’t been sure. I’d danced for the twin that was there, not caring which one he ended up being.

  Mild relief soothed the pain pinching the skin around Braddox’s eyes. He nodded and took a bite. “That’s good. I don’t think I could share you with him. I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

  “Then what do you want?” I furrowed my brow and licked the decadent dessert from the spoon.

  “Honestly? I just want you.” He reached across the table and claimed my fingers in his. “Look, Olivia, I thought I lost you and I went crazy. I’m not proud of the fact that I slept with a lot of girls to try to get you out of my head. But then, you showed up at the party and it was like I was going to get a second chance. I heard you slept with my brother and that crushed me. I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster and I’m ready to get off. I just want us to be together. I didn’t know how much I wanted you for more than just sex until I heard about you and Jaxon.” He held up his other hand as if I was going to argue with him and he shook his head. “I don’t think I care, if you did him or not, to be honest. I don’t want you just for sex and I’m not exactly virginal, you know?”

  He pinned me with his earnest gaze. “I just know that I don’t want to lose you again. I’m willing to do what it takes to keep you.”

  His words left me feeling bereft and hopeful all at the same time. He had no idea that I suspected there was a competition and his words didn’t make me feel like there wasn’t. But at least he just wanted me for me and wasn’t only drawn to me because we felt good together.

  I squeezed his fingers and pulled back, pointing with the spoon at the dessert. “This is delicious.”

  “Yes, you are.” He winked at me when I looked his direction and then he slid his feet across the carpet and tangled our shoes together.

  I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me, but he wanted more. I could handle that. He didn’t hide us or the way we were together either. He seemed proud of me, no matter what. I could handle that, too.

  How much could Jaxon handle and what was I prepared to give up?

  Chapter 21

  Jaxon

  I couldn’t look at Olivia all day before her date, and yet, at the same time, I couldn’t look away. I was locked in the worst dichotomy since having to choose between my mom and dad and just wanting to stay with my brother, but feeling obligated to go with Mom in the hopes of protecting her.

  That dream flew out the window after I saw how addicted she’d become to the partying lifestyle.

  Even Dad’s money hadn’t been enough for her.

  When I left school, I didn’t leave completely, choosing instead to park down the street and watch to see why Olivia stood at the front of the school, waiting.

  She waited almost an entire hour for my douchebag of a brother to show up.

  In a Nova. He’d done it. He’d gotten the Nova. The sleek SS style of the car fit Braddox’s personality. I tightened my hands on my steering wheel, wishing I was wringing his neck instead. It wasn’t fair. He got everything and there he was driving away from my school, my side of town, with my girl.

  I sat back, slamming my hand on the bottom curve of the steering wheel and cursing out loud. My girl? When had I started thinking of her like that? She was supposed to be…

  What? I couldn’t think of her with anyone else because I wanted her for myself. I was an idiot to think I’d be fine if she was with anyone else, especially Braddox. I was an idiot when I thought I could make her leave and let her go.

  I’d been serious when I declared I wouldn’t take the physical aspects of our relationship any further, if she wouldn’t choose me. I couldn’t share with Braddox.

  I wouldn’t share with him. Not someone like Olivia.

  She wasn’t a treasure you spread between friends or let your brother borrow on the weekends.

  Maybe I wasn’t being clear with her. Maybe she didn’t understand how I felt. How I’d felt since I’d first seen her and she’d thrown herself at me, thinking I was Braddox.

  The El Camino’s engine roared as I tore out of the school’s vicinity after the Nova holding Braddox and Olivia drove off toward the west side of town.

  Mom and Norman hadn’t come home yet. Maybe they were at the casino just across the state line. I’d be fine with them being there. The last time they’d disappeared across state line, I’d been left alone for well over three weeks, close to a month. It’d been like a vacation from the disappointment that my life was with my mother.

  Climbing the steps to the apartment, I checked the time on my phone repeatedly. When did I think Olivia was going to make it home? Would Braddox take her back to his place?

  My thoughts flooded me with pent-up fury. What if Braddox took her back to his place? I couldn’t compete against that. The things he could give her would make anything I offered pale in comparison.

  The cupboards in the kitchen were bare, but I had a modest amount of money from working with Crenshaw. I could go get something, if I got hungry enough.

  Except… I couldn’t focus long enough on anything except thoughts about Olivia and what she was doing with Braddox.

  Sitting on the crappy couch with its split seams and worn out spots, I scrolled through various tasks I’d gotten from my father. I didn’t feel comfortable calling him dad, but I also didn’t want to put myself in the situation where I called him Mr. O’Donnell or something that suggested I’d really been removed from my life and my family.

  Every few minutes, I glanced at the clock in the upper corner of my phone’s screen.

  Ever so slowly, the time crept toward five, then six. Seven. It took forever to get to eight and then nine.

  Ten. Why was I just sitting there on the couch staring at the wall? Had I really gone off the deep end? It felt like it. All my thoughts centered around Olivia. The obsession wasn’t something that left me confident in my mental state.

  Eleven.

  Maybe I needed to go to bed, try to get some sleep.

  I took my time brushing my teeth, washing my face, making sure everything was secure in my room. Who knew when Norman was going to come back and go through my things to sell for more alcohol and drug money?

  He didn’t know I had things hidden in the top of the closet back in the corner. Nothing of any huge value, but they mattered to me. I knew if he found the pictures, he’d find a way to beat me and my mom. Worse than he already did.

  Twelve.

  No matter what I did, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. I had to know if she was back. If she wasn’t back, then I’d come back and get some sleep.

  I made the deal, but I had a hard time convincing myself that I would actually come back, if she wasn’t back yet. Maybe I would stay and wait. Even if it took all night. I could always go to Braddox’s house. His house. It wasn’t my house anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time.

  Setting my jaw, I climbed from the single mattress resting on the floor of my room. Yeah, I slept on the ground. No one needed to know.

  I pulled my jeans back on over my boxer briefs and then pulled on my shirt. Socks and shoes followed and I ran my hand through my hair. I just wanted to know if she’d made it back or not. I didn’t even need to speak to her. I could just peek in her window and head back. It wasn’t a big deal.

  Almost one in the morning and I found myself pacing in the woods o
utside Olivia’s apartment. The lights were on, but that could have been something she’d left on from the day earlier so her apartment wouldn’t look like she was gone until she got back.

  She’d closed the curtains on the front room. I couldn’t see in, even if I got close and tried peeking through cracks.

  The window I’d seen her sneak out of was cracked open, something that didn’t make me feel good about her safety.

  I moved closer, into the shadows against the wall, slipping behind the bushes. I angled to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of something or anything that would set my mind at rest. Only deeper shadows greeted me.

  I slid the window open. The lack of a screen making access entirely too easy. What if I was a rapist or someone out to hurt her? The east side of Shores might be part of a small town, but we had our seedy residents just like every other town did. I hadn’t claimed Olivia as my own and Braddox was on the other side of town. As far as anyone else was concerned, she was available for anyone to use.

  The thought made me sick.

  “Olivia? Are you in there?” My whisper crept into the room and I glanced in the direction of the hallway in case her mom had made it home.

  The scent of vanilla and cinnamon hit my nose and I inhaled. There was something addicting about the scent of Olivia and every time I smelled it, I wanted to imprint it on my mind.

  “Olivia?” I squinted, trying to see in the dark. Please, let her be home by now. I didn’t want to think about what it meant that she wasn’t answering me. Maybe she’d stayed with Braddox. Maybe Braddox was inside her living room and I couldn’t see them making out… or worse.

  My nostrils flared and I clamped my mouth shut. What if… The question was one that made me sick.

  Movement from inside her room pulled my focus and I stilled.

  “Jaxon?” Her own words weren’t whispered as she swung her legs to the edge of her bed, pale in the dim lighting from the living room. She approached the window, coming more into focus the closer she got. “What are you doing here?”

  I stepped back, shoving my hands in my pocket. Tilting my head to the side, I motioned toward the window. “You shouldn’t have your window open here. It’s not safe.” My voice was gruffer than normal, but my relief at her being home overshadowed anything else I was feeling. I couldn’t help it. I needed her to stay away from Braddox. I wanted to know how things had gone.

  Maybe the fact that she was home early meant that she hadn’t had a good time. Or maybe it meant that she’d realized I was the one for her and she was ready to choose me.

  She glanced at the window and then furrowed her brow as she turned to study me. “That’s why you’re here? My window?” The challenge in her voice gave me pause. She knew. Of course, she knew I was there to see if she was still with Braddox.

  Heat flooded my cheeks and I was glad she couldn’t see me as clearly as she would if we had lights on us.

  “Meet me at the door. My mom’s still gone.” She didn’t want for me to accept or acknowledge her demands as she turned and left the room. I followed like a dumbass dog doing what I was told.

  A huge part of me was pissed that I so easily followed her, like I couldn’t think for myself.

  But my need to know what had happened superseded my need to keep my pride intact. I didn’t care that she knew I was there to find out how the date had gone. I wanted to know just how much I needed to worry or hurt or rejoice.

  I was at the door before she was and she pulled it open after I ran my hands through my hair again. I hadn’t shaved all day and thick stubble scratched my hands as I rubbed my hands down my face.

  I couldn’t smile as I followed her inside. She closed the door behind me and reached for my hand, pulling me behind her as she tugged me along.

  Short cotton shorts under a faded Boston Red Sox t-shirt showed off her form better than if she’d been in a nighty. She half-turned to check on me as she led the way down the hallway, putting her chest in relief. The peak of her breast was obviously without a bra and my mouth dried up.

  What had I gotten myself into?

  She didn’t lead me to the living room, but instead pulled me into her bedroom and motioned toward her bed. She left me to stand there as she crossed her room and shut the window.

  At the window, she turned to face me, as if waiting for me to sit.

  Moonlight broke through the branches of trees, breaking up the shadows of her room and leaving her in stark contrast. She brushed her hair back behind her with her hands, lifting her arms to do so and I felt myself harden at the sight of her breasts moving under the soft cotton.

  It looked soft. I’d have to find out for myself, if the material was as soft as it looked.

  “Come on. I’m tired. Why don’t you keep me company tonight?” She strode to the bed and patted the spot beside her on the sheeted mattress. Her large eyes watched me and I didn’t know how to say no.

  I licked my lips, kicking my shoes off and shaking my head as I sat beside her. “I’m… We can’t…” She hadn’t told me anything about her night with Braddox yet. I wasn’t going to do anything more with her until I knew.

  She shook her head and lay back, shoving an extra pillow beside the one she rested her head on. “I know. I get it.”

  Climbing in beside her, I lay on my side and faced her. I used my bicep under the pillow to rest my head on and to watch her.

  She copied me, sliding her knee forward until it hit mine. “Why are you really here, Jaxon?”

  Did I tell her why I’d come? Because I needed to know just how much of her Braddox had claimed. Because I knew they had a history and I didn’t want to think it had any more weight in the case for her to choose him over me.

  “Seriously, Jaxon, why are you here? Did you need something?” She reached across the short distance and rested her fingers on the wrist of my free hand.

  Her touch distracted me for a moment and when I finally spoke, my voice came out raspy and distracted. “I came to… check on you.”

  “It’s late. Are you sure you’re not here for something else? Like some misplaced booty call?” There was a challenge in her voice that stung as she asked it. I was suddenly no longer under the impression that she was tired. “Hm? Are you sure you don’t just think of me as someone to mess around with?”

  I blinked at her as she pulled her fingers back from my arm. Things had gone from intimate to confrontational in seconds. The situation was disconcerting with the bed and closeness between us but her tone shifting.

  “What?” Hadn’t I been the one to say we couldn’t do anything else until I knew for sure she chose me? Hadn’t I been protecting both of us from getting more attached than we already were? “I don’t understand.” That was an understatement.

  “Braddox won’t do more than kiss me. He won’t touch me, nothing. He kisses me and he doesn’t… let’s just say he doesn’t open his mouth when he does. He said… He said he doesn’t want to take advantage of me because he wants more with me than just sex.” She swallowed, shifting her hips, but I couldn’t tell if it was closer to me or away from me.

  “Why do you think that’s all I want from you? I haven’t pushed you for anything. In fact, I’ve said no multiple times, right?” I didn’t understand how I’d become the bad guy.

  “No, it’s not that. It’s… I mean, Braddox claimed me at school. I was important enough to him that everyone knew we were together, you know? He was proud of me. He takes me out – to a nice place or not, he wants to be around me when other people are there.” She shrugged her top shoulder. “True, I’m not sure he would claim me now, I mean I have no money and I’m living… here, but he claimed me before, you know? And you…”

  She fell silent a moment and I could almost hear her filling in the blanks before she said anything. “You won’t talk to me at school. You spread rumors about me that are just… rude. Fine. You can say what you want and do what you want, but then you come here… you know? Can you see why I’m confused?”

&n
bsp; I didn’t say anything while I tried absorbing what she’d said.

  What she was getting at was that Braddox was willing to call her his in public while I was marking her as mine in private. She wanted one of us to do both. He wasn’t doing anything physically with her which both relieved me and pissed me off.

  If he was holding off on the physical aspects and dating her and pursuing her, then I had to step up.

  Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to her forehead. I slid my legs from her bedsheets, turning from her and slipping my shoes on.

  If she wanted the dating and the romance before the burn of what our screwing would most definitely inspire, I could do that. I’d have to be more original than Braddox, though. He had money and could do just about anything.

  If I was going to compete with him in any capacity, I had to do what she was looking for. Except… I couldn’t.

  I turned at the door, looking back at her as she’d half-raised up on her elbow to stare after me. “You want me to declare what to everyone? That you’re mine? Except you’re not. You’re playing some kind of game with my brother and me, pitching us against each other even more than we already are. I’m willing to step up, but you’ll need to decide soon, Olivia. Braddox and I don’t share with others, especially each other.”

  I left the apartment, making sure to lock the door before I shut it behind me.

  Braddox had raised the stakes in the challenge and he had no idea that it wasn’t a game for me. It was for keeps. Olivia had claimed something inside me I refused to lose to my older brother. He couldn’t have her when he’d already taken my dad, my life, and my dreams.

  I refused to lose anything else to him.

  As I climbed into my bed, I couldn’t help the smile curling my lips. Braddox had told Olivia he wouldn’t chase her with touching and kisses which had to mean he didn’t feel the desire that I did. Olivia had all but begged me to screw her. Braddox had no self-control. If she’d begged him, he wouldn’t have been able to walk away.