by Monica Burns
"I have nothing to offer her. Not even the keep is really mine to give."
"You have more to offer than you realize because there's only one thing she wants." The conviction in her voice made Ewan jerk his head toward her. A knowing smile touched her lips. "She wants your heart. If you give her that, you give her everything."
"She deserves better than a man who's less than whole," he said in a hoarse voice as he looked out the window again. "a man who isn't what others believe him to be."
"Don't you think that should be her decision to make?" Wallis squeezed his arm slightly. "You have a chance for the happiness your father and I only had fleeting glimpses of. Don't let anything stand in the way of that. Life is far to short and precious, Ewan."
With another squeeze of his arm, Wallis left him standing at the window. Ewan turned his head and watched her walk out of his study. Don't let anything stand in the way…his mother had said. An image of Louisa's lovely face filled his head. Everything she'd ever said or done had made it clear she saw past his war-ravaged body. He glanced over his shoulder at the parchment lying on his desk. She'd bared her soul to him, and offered him her heart in that passionate letter. The question now was whether he had the courage to do that and more.
Chapter 20
Sebastian closed the note in his hand, and with a vicious flick of his fingers threw it onto the desk. The Earl of Argaty's note had arrived a few moments ago, and Sebastian's initial reaction was to send a curt refusal to the man's request. Glaring at the folded piece of paper, he debated how best to handle the problem of the earl. A soft squeak of sound made him lift his head to see the study door opening.
The sight of Helen entering the room sent a familiar emotion crashing through him. It would always be this way for him. No matter how old they grew, everything else would fade from view the moment he saw his wife's beautiful face. That he'd won her love was something he gave thanks for on a daily basis.
"I've come to rescue you," she said with a mischievous smile.
"Rescue me?" Sebastian's mood lightened as he moved around the desk to meet his wife halfway. "I wasn't aware that I was in need of such extraordinary measures."
"Perhaps I should have said, I'm in need of rescuing," she laughed as she stepped into his embrace and kissed him lightly. "The children have been pestering me for the last hour to come see when you'll be done with those diplomatic pouches. They're all under the impression that a certain Lord Melton promised to take them riding when he finished his correspondence, including our youngest who doesn't even possess a riding habit yet."
Helen eyed him with exasperated amusement, and Sebastian cast his gaze heavenward as if he hadn't any idea what she was talking about. When his wife made a small noise of aggravation, he bent his head to kiss her deeply. A long moment later, he lifted his head and drank in a deep breath at the way his heart pounded in his chest.
As always, his deep love for her made him ache to demonstrate how much she meant to him. He wanted nothing more at the moment, but to carry her up the stairs to their bedroom and spend the rest of the day worshipping her body with his. It was a wish that would go unfulfilled with the children waiting on him. Instead he looked down at her and smiled with satisfaction at the languorous desire on her face.
"That, my love, is how you should always look." As she arched her eyebrow in a silent demand for an explanation, he grinned. "As if you'd been thoroughly kissed by a husband who adores you."
"Why do I think this is your way of avoiding a discussion about Tilly going riding with you and the boys?"
"She needs to learn how to ride at some point, and she loves spending time in the stables."
"She's only five, Sebastian."
"And she has her heart set on going, but if you don’t want her—"
"You know as well as I do the child will convince Fergus that you instructed her to have him saddle heaven knows what animal and ride him out of the stable without batting an eye. She is a Rockwood through and through." Helen shook her head in exasperation, but Sebastian saw the pride on her face as well. "At least I know she'll be safe riding in front of you."
"And you know I'll guard her and the boys with my life," Sebastian quietly reassured his wife with a light kiss.
"I have no doubt you will, it's simply that you're almost as bad as Lucien when it comes to encouraging our daughter to be a tomboy." A small frown of disapproval furrowed Helen's brow. "Constance continuously expresses her frustration with Lucien's habit of using Jamie's nickname for Imogene."
"We're about to enter a new century, my love. I think the next generation of Rockwood women will find their world completely different from what you and my sisters have experienced. Lucien and I are of the same mind when it comes to giving the girls the same experiences as the boys whenever possible."
"Surely it won't be that different."
Helen's frown deepened with concern as she smoothed the lapels on his jacket. Uncertainty had always been an unsettling sensation for him, and his mouth twisted with a deep foreboding he'd been unable to shake for weeks now. He preferred order as opposed to chaos, but recent political events had made him become uneasy on almost a monthly basis. He knew better than to try and hide his concern from his wife.
It would be a pointless exercise when she read his moods with such ease. Even after more than ten years of marriage they only had to look at each other across a room to instantly know what the other was thinking. It was the one piece of order in his life that had remained constant from the moment Helen had said she loved him after her ordeal at the hands of the Marquess of Templeton. He shook his head slightly.
"I think the next ten to fifteen years will bring a turmoil and upheaval unlike anything the world has ever seen."
"Do you mean more war?"
Helen drew in a quick breath of alarm. They'd had several acquaintances who'd recently lost loved ones in the Boer War, and the thought of a larger conflict was one he'd been unable to dismiss in recent months. He cupped her lovely face in his hands and kissed her gently. When he pulled back, he shook his head.
"I don't know. I simply want the next generation of Rockwoods to be ready for whatever trials might lie ahead for all of us."
"Is that why you were scowling so darkly when I came in here?" The reference to his mood when she'd first entered the study made his mouth tighten with irritation.
"No. I received a note from Argaty. He's asked me to come to Argaty Keep later this afternoon." His words didn't appear to surprise her at all, and he met her troubled gaze as a somber resignation swept across her sweet features. Instantly, his muscles tensed with wary expectation. "Someone's seen something."
"Actually, Tilly said something as I was putting her to bed last night that tells me our youngest is the latest Rockwood to display signs of the an dara sealladh."
"Good God," Sebastian breathed in a sharp breath.
Resignation and fear crashed through him. He had been hoping his children wouldn't inherit the most volatile of all the Rockwood family traits. But the idea of Tilly possessing the an dara sealladh alarmed him in a way he rarely experienced. All three of his children possessed daring and courage to spare when it came to challenges, but Tilly gave new meaning to the words 'Reckless Rockwoods.'
The child was quickly overtaking Louisa's title as the most reckless of the family. Tilly also possessed her aunt's ability to charm and cajole others to fall in line with whatever scheme she concocted. Her brothers were always the first to succumb to her charm, no matter how outrageous the idea or plan.
It wasn't the first time his well-ordered existence had been rocked with a harsh reminder there were things in life he was powerless to control. The an dara sealladh always enhanced the impulsive nature of the Rockwood who possessed the gift of sight. Perhaps worst of all was that by exhibiting the family gift at such a young age, Tilly's command of the an dara sealladh might easily rival Jamie's ability.
The difference was his nephew possessed a maturity that belied hi
s years. While the boy was impulsive at times, he had a good head on his shoulders. But the an dara sealladh when combined with Tilly's adventurous nature had the potential to create utter mayhem. As always when confronted with the unexpected, Sebastian struggled to control his concern. Helen touched his cheek in a gesture of reassurance
"I know you had hoped the children wouldn't inherit the an dara sealladh, but there are some things neither one of us can control, my darling."
"What did Tilly say to you?" he rasped.
"She'd said it was the old earl who was a beast not the new earl. She said the new earl was very nice and would teach her riding tricks."
"I can see now why you were alarmed at her riding with me and the boys this afternoon," Sebastian said with more than a hint of relief. "As for her references to Argaty, it's obvious she's heard the boys or one of us discussing the man. Not to mention we both know she has an active imagination."
"Does she? I'm no longer certain of that, particularly when she was adamant that the bad earl and his mother were dead," Helen frowned slightly.
"And we all know the earl was forced to shoot his brother to save himself and Louisa." Sebastian's mouth tightened at the memory of the details the authorities had shared with him about the events that had happened at Argaty Keep only days ago.
"Any other time I would agree, but Tilly insisted the bad earl was dead, and the new earl was coming to Callendar Abbey on Hogmanay to get her Aunt Louisa."
"I still think it's our daughter's imagination running amok," Sebastian said quietly as he watched Helen's green eyes darken with concern.
"No, it's more than that. You didn't see how distraught she was when I didn't believe her, Sebastian." Helen shook her head as he eyed her with skepticism. "Yes, she's prone to crying like any other child, but this was different. She was sobbing, Sebastian. She was sobbing as hard as she did last year when Percy couldn't save her puppy after it was hit by a carriage. Tilly said I was mean not to believe her, and that I'd have to say I was sorry when the earl came for Louisa."
"Something that will not happen if I have anything to do with it. The man's hurt Louisa enough," Sebastian said with harsh resolve.
"She's a grown woman, Sebastian, I know you want to protect her, but she's in love with him. Nothing you say or do will change that."
"Perhaps not, but I'll do my damnedest not to give Argaty the chance to break her heart a second time." Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment as hopelessness scored his insides. "I saw the Louisa we knew before the fire that day I first went to Argaty Keep. Now, she's acting no differently than she did after the fire, and the blame rests squarely on Argaty's shoulders."
"Then what do you plan to do?" Helen asked as she tucked her arm through his and gently pulled him toward the door.
"Well, I'm not going to tell Louisa he's asked me to come to Argaty Keep this afternoon. As for Argaty, I have no intention of passing up the opportunity to thrash the man."
"Something tells me that won't happen. I have it on good authority the Earl of Melton is renown for his self-control," Helen said impishly as her mouth tipped upwards. He grunted with irritation before he smiled down at her.
"I can think of several times when Melton has been known to lose control of his senses, and last night was no exception." His teasing sent pink color flooding his wife's cheeks and he grinned broadly. She buried her face in his shoulder for a brief instant before looking up at him.
"You are a scoundrel, Lord Melton." Mock severity on her face, Helen playfully squeezed his arm in a half-hearted reprimand. But it was the love he saw sparkling in Helen's eyes that made his heart crash into the wall of his chest. Basking in the warmth of her gaze, Sebastian kissed her brow and pushed all thought of the Earl of Argaty out of his head as they went in search of their children.
§ § §
Hours later Sebastian recalled his wife's prophetic words as he faced the Earl of Argaty in stunned amazement.
"You want what?"
"I thought I was quite clear when I asked my question the first time," the earl growled. "I would like your permission to ask Louisa to be my wife."
"Permission to—what in God's name made you think I'd be willing to do that?" He glared at the earl with extreme dislike. "And what makes you think Louisa would even consider such a proposal?"
"There are a number of reasons she might not." Despair flitted across Argaty's battle-scarred features before his expression became hard as stone except for a tic on his unmarred cheek. "But I will ask her with or without your permission, my lord."
"You're fortunate I value my wife's good opinion of me, Argaty, or I'd drop you where you stand," Sebastian snarled viciously. "If you intend to speak with my sister regardless of what I say, why bother to ask my permission?"
"I know you believe I wronged your sister, and I wish to explain my behavior."
"Then by all means, explain." Sebastian didn't hide his sarcasm or contempt as he met the other man's gaze. A flash of what he recognized as humiliation swept across the man's face, and Sebastian frowned in puzzlement.
"What I am about to share with you is known only to my mother and myself. I know from Louisa that you are an honorable man, and I believe you will keep my confidence." Argaty drew in a deep breath and straightened his posture as if bracing himself for a storm headed in his direction. "I am a bastard and as such, not the true heir to the Argaty title."
For a second time since he'd entered Argaty Keep, Sebastian experienced a moment of stunned amazement as he jerked his head back in disbelief. What the devil was the man about making such a preposterous statement? Quickly recovering his senses, Sebastian narrowed his gaze and eyed the earl with contempt.
"Is this an attempt at humor, Lord Argaty?" his voice harsh with sarcasm.
This time the humiliation darkening the man's face was obvious. For the first time since being shown into the earl's study, Sebastian's outrage cooled to a slow-burning anger. There was something about the man's expression and posture that said Argaty was struggling with a great burden. Perhaps he'd been wrong about the man. Sebastian immediately released an imperceptible snort of disgust at the thought.
"A jest?" the earl said with a mirthless laugh. "Yes, I suppose it could be viewed in that manner, but the joke is on me, and it is far from amusing or pleasant."
Shame swept across the earl's face once more, and his throat bobbed as if swallowing something unpleasant. With a jerk, he turned away from Sebastian and crossed the floor to study the view outside one of the room's tall windows.
"The day before Lady Argaty was murdered by my brother, she informed me that I was a bastard, and that she wasn't my real mother. The revelation was confirmed by the countess's sister."
The silence in the room was thick with tension as Sebastian stared at Argaty's back with a growing sense of bewilderment. The man was as mad as his dead brother. The earl cleared his throat, but didn't turn away from the window.
"It is a story not even the Bard himself could write, but I speak the truth, my lord. My mother is Wallis MacCullaich. She was my father's mistress after he married her sister, Elspeth MacCullaich."
"Good God," Sebastian breathed softly as he slowly began to accept the other man was speaking the truth. If the earl heard him, he didn't acknowledge Sebastian's soft exclamation.
"While the behavior of my parents was disreputable, the reasons for their actions are those I understand, and I cannot condemn them for it. My father convinced Lady Argaty to publicly claim me as her son." Argaty turned to face Sebastian who remained silent not because of his steely self-control, but because he was speechless—a rare occurrence for him.
"Even if I were to share the truth of my birth outside of this room, my words would be met with disbelief as it is Elspeth Colquhoun's signature on my baptism record not that of my real mother."
Sebastian studied the earl's battle-scarred features closely. The veracity of Argaty's confession was emphasized by the humiliation darkening the man's one eye. Even
the tight, thin line of his mouth declared the depth of Argaty's shame and embarrassment. As Sebastian struggled to find something to say in response to the man's confession, the earl cleared his throat.
"Even before I knew the truth of my birth, I believed I had little to offer Louisa. But knowing I was no longer the legitimate earl meant I had nothing at all. When I decided to relinquish what was no longer mine, I ordered Louisa to leave."
"And what has changed?" Sebastian mused softly as he narrowed his eyes at the man facing him. The earl's gaze did not waver from Sebastian's.
"Despite being Dougal Colquhoun's bastard, the fact that Elspeth Colquhoun's signature is on my birth record means that for all intents and purposes I am my father's legitimate heir. There are no other heirs to the title, and my mother reminded me that there are a great number of people who might be adversely affected if I left Argaty Keep."
Argaty bowed his head to study the floor, and Sebastian pondered the man's decision. Uncertain as to what to say to the earl regarding his confession, Sebastian frowned slightly as he realized how difficult it must have been for Argaty to explain himself.
"For the most part, I have always believed myself to be an honorable man, my lord." Argaty winced at his statement as he paused for a brief moment before he shook his head and a firm resolve swept across his face. "If I walk away from those whose livelihood depends on Argaty Keep, I am condemning them to a life they don't deserve. I also have Ross to consider."
Sebastian grimaced slightly at the mention of Ross. The boy clearly missed his father, and Louisa had been surprisingly tight-lipped about what had happened at Argaty Keep. She'd shared that the earl was going away, and she'd asked the man to let her take responsibility for the boy's upbringing rather than sending him away to school. A small noise escaped Argaty as he met Sebastian's gaze.
"Has she explained why she took Ross with her?" The resignation in his voice made Sebastian study Argaty with assessment. Louisa assuming responsibility for the boy's care was puzzling, and she'd yet to fully expand on her reasons for doing so.