Steele

by Bennett, Sawyer

  My clothing—well, not much I could do about that. We’re hiking, possibly going out on a boat, so I chose some cargo shorts that weren’t ass baring but showed much of my leg, a form-fitting t-shirt with a deep vee, and a lightweight jacket that I might or might not wear depending on the chill factor when we get to where we’re going. I’m going to let Jim pick our destination as he’s hiked hundreds of trails in the surrounding Phoenix area.

  Giving myself a once over in the mirror, I glance at the clock and see Jim is due any minute now.

  Looking down at my feet where Brody has fallen asleep, I smile at the little guy. I’m going to hate to see him go next week. In such a short time, he’s worked his way into all of our hearts, but we also know he has a greater calling to help someone in need.

  I bend to scratch his head, and he lifts it with bleary eyes before his tail starts thumping. “Ready to go on a trip?” I ask.

  He most definitely is as he bounds up and follows me out of my bedroom. I’ve arranged for Brody to spend the day in doggie daycare, a first for him, but the one I found has an actual puppy center where only dogs under sixteen weeks are allowed. It will be a perfect way for him to spend the day, and it’s close to the house so we can drop him off on our way out on our adventure.

  I head toward the kitchen, needing to put the food I’d made into a small cooler. Ranch chicken wraps and a quinoa salad along with some fresh fruit.

  As I’m walking through the living room, the doorbell rings. A flush of excitement sizzles through me. I love that knowing my husband is on the other side of the door—after nearly seventeen years together—produces a visceral reaction in me. It’s a feeling I used to get for several years into our marriage until things just sort of got lazy. I know if Jim and I can fix this, it has to be with vows never to let that go again.

  Brody trots with me to the door as I shift direction and I swing it open with a bright smile.

  There stands Jim and as I take him in, my smile falters and my brow furrows in confusion.

  “What in the heck are you wearing?” I ask in shock.

  Although it’s easy to see.

  He has on a gray t-shirt that is the softest of cotton and I know this because I’ve snuggled up to it many a morning in our bed when we were together, coupled with a pair of pajama bottoms in dark blue and green plaid. He has slippers on his feet… those moccasin types he hardly ever wears unless he’s running out to get the early morning paper.

  He has a grocery bag in one arm, and a duffel bag slung over the other. At the top of the paper bag, I see a bag of Ruffles potato chips—the good sour cream and cheddar variety.

  “I thought,” Jim drawls with a sly grin, “that we’d do a day in bed instead of a day outdoors. Movies, horrible food that will make me want to juice cleanse for days after, and lots of snuggling and perhaps a bit of canoodling.”

  I can’t help it. My eyes immediately fill with tears over yet another kind, thoughtful, and romantic gesture Jim is bestowing upon me. It was my idea to take the day off and do something fun for him, yet here he is prepared to do one of my favorite things, which is to just relax with him. It’s a complete nod to the last time I asked him to do this with me when it was more important he played hockey with his buds.

  “Oh, shit, Ella,” Jim exclaims as he pushes his way into the house, causing me to back up. He sets the bags down, then pulls me into his arms. “Don’t cry.”

  “I’m not,” I blurt out, dashing the tears away with the back of my hand before they can even fall.

  Jim chuckles, pulls me in for a hug, and rocks me back and forth. “I thought you might be touched and I’d get a reaction, but I was more hoping along the lines of you jumping my bones.”

  I snort, then laugh as I tip my head back to see him. “You’re crazy. And sweet and wonderful. I can’t believe you drove over here in your pajamas.”

  “Will there be jumping of bones?” he asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.

  “There most certainly will,” I assure him, but then worry at my lower lip. “But… I wanted to do something for you. You’ve done so much to show your commitment the last several weeks that I wanted to give you something. To show you that I see you. I not only see what you’re doing, but I also feel it to the depths of my bones. And yet here you are again… putting me on the pedestal when I’d like to share it with you.”

  Jim scoffs, releasing me. He pivots, bends, and pulls Brody out of the grocery bag where his head is completely stuffed inside, rooting around. I had not even realized the pup had gotten into it.

  Holding the dog under his arm, he says, “I’m not doing this to put you on a pedestal, Ella, although I believe you belong on one. I want to do this because I should have done this before with you, and I missed out. I’m here because I want to spend a day with my wife with no distractions, no interruptions, no other people, and nothing in the world to come in between us.”

  At that moment, Brody lifts his head and nips at Jim’s jaw. Laughing, he puts Brody down. “Except maybe one mischievous puppy.”

  “We’re golden,” I reply slyly. “That dog likes to sleep a lot!”

  “Perfect,” Jim says, bending over to release Brody to the floor. He picks up the grocery bags. “Now, let me put all this junk food away. If it’s okay with you, I’d personally like to start our day of relaxation by making love to my wife.”

  A shiver runs up my spine. It’s exactly how I’d choose to start our day together. “I’ll let Brody out while you put that stuff away.”

  “Then go get naked,” Jim orders.

  I laugh and move to the back door, calling Brody to follow. I like bossy Jim. Mostly, I do what he tells me to do when sex is involved, but I think this monumental day should start with at least some sort of gift to Jim.

  I think some sexy lingerie is the ticket. It has always driven him crazy, and we usually both benefit greatly when he’s a little crazy in the bed.

  ♦

  What started slow—undulating movements with our bodies pressed tight and our mouths fused—eventually turned into my legs on Jim’s shoulders as he pounds away between my legs. I’m practically folded in half, his palms pressed into the mattress, and the most ferocious look of near pleasure on his face. At this angle, he’s hitting me so deeply I’ll feel him for days.

  Watching him fully immersed in the pleasure my body gives him, I think nothing can be as beautiful. When he plants himself in deep, he tips his head back until I see the muscles and veins rippling in his neck. He cries out his release to the ceiling, and a tiny frisson of pleasure ripples through me. Perhaps leftover remnants from the orgasm I had but seconds ago, but it’s telling I can get physical pleasure just from watching my husband experiencing it.

  “Christ,” Jim gasps as he eases up, then gently pulls my legs from his shoulders. My hips twinge in protest, but it’s soon forgotten as Jim rolls to his back and brings me on top of him.

  I kiss his chest before folding my arms across it. Resting my chin there, I look down. He still seems a little hazy from what appeared to be an earth-shattering orgasm, but he grins back.

  Jim’s hand comes up to tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear. My ponytail came out at the same time I put on a lacy black camisole with crotchless panties for him. “You are, without a doubt, the sexiest, most fuckable woman in the entire world.”

  I shake my head. “And how do you know that?” I tease. “Compared me to a lot?”

  The minute I say those words, a chill runs through my body. I was just being figurative, but it hits me… Jim and I have been separated for a long time. We had no duty to stay faithful to each other.

  Not keeping the harshness out of my voice, I ask, “Have you compared me?”

  Jim blinks in surprise, at first not understanding my change from playful to furious. Then his expression smooths in understanding, his voice soft and reassuring. “There’s only been one comparison, and you know who that is.”

  I grimace. Jim had lost his virginity not long after h
e’d turned sixteen to one of our classmates. Their relationship didn’t last long, and Jim and I started dating about six months after that.

  “So,” I say tentatively, poking around the edges of what I need to know. “This whole time we’ve been separated, you haven’t…”

  I can’t even bring myself to say it.

  Jim comes in for the rescue. “I haven’t been with anyone else, Ella. Not even a date. Haven’t wanted to. Haven’t felt the need to go fuck some woman just for the release, especially not when I only wanted you.”

  My whole body seems to just collapse against him, and I didn’t realize I’d been holding myself so stiffly since this conversation started. I’ve never felt such relief, and it’s immediately followed by guilt.

  “Oh, God,” I moan somewhat piteously. “And here I was, ready to move on with dating. I went out and dated another man, and you didn’t even look at another woman.”

  “Not the same, Ella,” Jim replies, and I just don’t understand how he can be so understanding of my flaws. “It’s not the same because you were looking for something that would make you happy, and you deserved it. I’d already found it, and I knew I had the best I was ever going to get. I don’t hold it against you for trying to move on.”

  “Really?” I ask hopefully.

  “Really,” he reassures me, then lifts his head at the same time to pull me closer to his face. He kisses me lightly before rolling me to the side. “Now… what should we do next? Movie? Food? Crossword puzzle? You performing a sexy dance for me in another piece of lingerie so we can fuck again?”

  I laugh and snuggle my body closer, but curl my hand under my pillow to stare at him. “Tell me about the team. The new guys and what everyone did this summer. Seems like everyone has been getting lucky in love.”

  Jim laughs and props his head on his hand, elbow into the mattress. “Let’s see… so, you know about Aaron and Clarke becoming a couple, but you probably don’t know that a few years back, Clarke was on a national dating show where she was humiliated by the whole process. She was blocked off and opposed to dating anyone famous.”

  “And Aaron’s reputation as a ladies man probably didn’t help,” I add thoughtfully.

  “He was tenacious,” Jim explains. “Wasn’t going to let her push him away.”

  “That’s sweet,” I murmur. “Sounds a little like you. Actually, Clarke did tell me last night she was really scared to fall for him, but that she just felt the reward was greater than the risk.”

  “Smart girl,” Jim notes, giving me a pointed look that perhaps I should learn something there. I don’t dare tell him I’ve been thinking a lot about what Clarke said, and I think it has great merit. But I’m still pondering things.

  “And there were lots of weddings,” I say, changing the subject.

  “Yup,” he replies. “Erik and Blue, Brooke and Bishop, and then the surprise one when Tacker and Nora decided to tie the knot spontaneously.

  “Summer of love.” My thoughts turn wistful, remembering our wedding. It was like a fairy tale come true, even though we ended up getting married a little sooner than we had planned because I got pregnant with Lucy.

  “Speaking of love,” Jim says, his eyes alight with humor. “Jett has gone bonkers for this woman who just started in the front office. She’s like the new VP of digital marketing and I swear, the guy fell in love at first sight.”

  “What’s she like?” I ask curiously. Jett is the quintessential single guy. He’s not predatory with women, but he does enjoy playing the field.

  “British,” Jim says. “Her name’s Emory Holland and she’s a bit standoffish and just a little too professional.”

  I frown. “What does Jett see in her?”

  “Well, she’s hot as hell,” Jim admits reluctantly. “I mean, nowhere near as beautiful as you, but she definitely had some of the guys’ tongues lolling.”

  Jim goes on to explain that the marketing management wants each of the players to become more personally involved in the Instagram community, making themselves more “digitally” available to their fans.

  “Oh, God.” I laugh in sympathy. “You suck at social media.”

  “I know,” he laments, then gives me a wink. “But our daughter doesn’t. I had to meet with Ms. Holland last week so she could explain what the team is looking for and she even had a folder of tips and strategies, including guidelines we have to follow. Things that are acceptable and things that aren’t.”

  “Like what?’ I ask curiously.

  “Well, for example, posts about our cute foster puppy are completely acceptable.” Jim’s smile turns from amiable to wolfish. He brings a hand to my hip, then glides it up the curve of my body. “But photos of my wife naked in bed… not acceptable.”

  I snort-laugh because it’s a running joke with Jim and me. We’ve used the camera on our phones many times in bed, taking sexy photos of each other. Well, some are quite explicit and dirty. He took a great one of me taking his entire cock into my mouth.

  I took one of his head between my legs, then turned it to video, letting it roll the entire time, even catching that moment where my orgasm caused me to buck against him hard. He lifted his head, lips wet, and grinned at the camera and it was the hottest and sweetest thing ever.

  Of course, we look at them after, provide sometimes humorous commentary and delete them right away. We’re not stupid, after all.

  There were times when Jim and I were separated that I’d use my vibrator for release. In those times, I’d conjure up memories of all the hundreds and hundreds of ways we’d pleasured each other over the years, and I had wished sometimes I had some of those photos to look at. To remind me of how tight our bonds of intimacy ran.

  In truth, it’s been the underlying foundation of why it’s been easy to let Jim back into my life. Because in this bed, when he’s inside of me and I’m feeling completely possessed and cherished, it’s exactly the type of way I need to be needed by him. The fact he was able to give me that same feeling on higher levels is why I think it’s time to make my decision on whether to give this marriage another real shot.

  CHAPTER 16

  Ella

  Nervously, I smooth down the white linen dress I’d chosen to wear to brunch today. I paired it with a super lightweight pale blue cardigan and a matching pair of blue heels.

  The restaurant is in Scottsdale and I’d looked it up before I went to sleep last night so I could see just how fancy it was. I probably could have gotten away with jeans and a nice top, but I felt like dressing up. The downside to working from home is that your wardrobe starts consisting of t-shirts and yoga pants, and while I know I have no reason to be nervous, I don’t want to make a bad impression on these women who are inviting me into their circle.

  When I arrive, I’m led to a back room in the restaurant where a large round table is set. The women are all milling around, talking. I see that a few hold coffee mugs in their hand while others have mimosas. A waiter appears and asks me my preference, and I choose the fortification of alcohol.

  “Ella,” I hear from my right and turn to find Brooke beaming.

  She moves my way, and carefully holding her mimosa out from us, she gives me a one-handed hug. “I’m so glad you came.”

  “Me too,” I reply in an automatic assurance I was looking forward to this. Truthfully, I was scared. Many of these women are just acquaintances, and I don’t know them all that well.

  Brooke takes it upon herself to walk me around the room—not to make introductions, but more to let each woman offer her welcome. I relax as the moments tick by, each woman warmly hugging me and extending enthusiasm that I’m joining them.

  I know most of their stories from Jim. Tales he’d share with me sometimes on late-night phone calls when he was on the road, or early mornings over coffee while Lucy would still be asleep.

  Each tale is as unique as the women themselves. Brooke had a fake engagement with the captain, Bishop, but they ended up falling in love. Blue, who is seven mo
nths pregnant and looking amazing in a form-fitting dress that shows off her baby basketball, is one of the team’s flight attendants. She tells me she’s been grounded for a while per Erik’s demands. Pepper, who I had the pleasure of talking to at the Halloween party, started as a contentious neighbor to our team’s goalie, Legend Bay, and ended up becoming a stepmom to Legend’s little girl Charlie after she was left on his porch step by an errant birth mother.

  I mix and mingle, none of the ladies in a rush to sit down and order. I gather their get-togethers are long events because they all so clearly get along and genuinely care about each other.

  Willow, now the matriarch of the team by her marriage to its owner Dominik, renews my acquaintance with her sister-in-law, Regan. She married Willow’s brother, Dax, who is our team’s star left-winger. Jim had told me Regan has a serious blood disease and Dax had married her so she could have health insurance, but they fell hopelessly in love.

  Lastly, Brooke has to make an actual introduction to Nora Hall, the beautiful wife to Tacker. Their relationship started professionally and moved to personal, but this was around the time I was sort of fading back from team events. I’d not had the pleasure of meeting her, but Jim told me more about her yesterday while we laid in bed and talked.

  She and Tacker might be my favorite story of all because Tacker was more damaged than anyone should ever have to be. He carried immense guilt for the plane crash that killed his fiancée because he had been piloting, even though the crash was due to mechanical failure. At any rate, Tacker was reclusive and ornery on his best days. He got into some trouble, and he was close to losing his position on the team when he was ordered to see a therapist.

  Enter Nora Hall, a gorgeous counselor who owns an equine therapy ranch on the outskirts of Phoenix. Tacker had to attend counseling if he wanted to stay on the team. While Jim was incredibly light on the details of how they fell in love, they did indeed fall hard, and Tacker has essentially become a new man.