by Robin Roseau
Then Alyssa reached over and took my hand, pulling me to the driver's side of the car. The windows on that side weren't open. Alyssa backed up against the car, drawing me after her and pulling me against her.
She didn't wait for permission but pulled me into another kiss, this one as heart shattering as the one last night, if somewhat briefer.
"I'll call you tonight," she said as she slipped into the car. We held hands briefly, then withdrew. She started the car, her door still open, and rolled the window down before closing the door. She reached out the window for my hand again, squeezing it and pulling me towards her. She reached up and caressed my cheek.
"Thank you," she said. "I wouldn't have made it through last weekend without you."
"You're welcome," I told her.
"It's been two years," she said. "It's been time to move on for a while, Janis. I know for you this seems sudden, but it's been two years. I'll always love Caroline, but it is time to move on."
I tried to look away, but she still had my hand, and she pulled me back to her firmly.
"I don't want to be your rebound girl," I told her quietly.
"I already had my rebound girl, Janis," she said. "Three months ago. That was how I knew it was time to let Caroline go."
That was when she released my hand. Stunned, I stepped away.
The tears didn't start until she had turned her car around and began driving away. I hadn't noticed, but Jenna was right there, wrapping an arm around my waist, and I turned to her, crying into her shoulder.
Jenna held me while I cried myself out into her blouse. She made soothing sounds. Finally I pulled away and looked at her. "It's not like we're lovers," I said. "Why am I so upset?"
"Because you think this is your life," Jenna said. "You think your life is now watching the women you could love drive away. You think you're going to be alone the rest of your life."
I thought about it. "I'm not crying over Alyssa?"
"Partly, perhaps," she said. "And partly the idea that Alyssa represents."
* * * *
I buried myself in manual labor by heading to the stable. We kept six horses, one of our biggest expenses. The stable represented an annual loss, but the horses were a distinguishing feature at the Inn, something that made us unique. Grams and Gramps had run the stable since before I was born, and I was determined to keep it going.
Mackenzie, the stable master, was always willing to give me things to do. When I got there, she was just getting ready to muck out the stalls. I switched into the galoshes I kept at the stable and took the shovel from her. Once I had mucked out the stalls, Mackenzie found other work for me, keeping me buried in exhausting work until Jenna found me several hours later.
Jenna pulled me to her room over the boathouse. She made sandwiches for both of us and she handed me a beer.
"It's a little early," I told her.
"Drink it," she said, tipping her own.
"I'm being stupid," I told her, once the sandwich and beer were both gone. "I barely know her."
"Right," she said. "Stupid to think you can care about someone."
I looked at Jenna sharply. "What would you have me do?"
Jenna smiled. "Give her a reason to stay next time."
* * * *
I had a miserable weekend. I tried to focus on work, but I couldn't take my thoughts off Alyssa with her delicate features and flashing eyes. Not to mention her dead sexy body. She finally called Sunday evening. I normally go to bed early and had just snuggled in with the dogs when the cell rang.
"Hello?"
"Hello," came her voice. "It's Alyssa. How was your weekend?"
I was silent for a moment.
"Janis? Did I call at a bad time?"
"What? No. Sorry. I was wondering how to answer your question."
"I find the truth is always good," she said. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too," I told her before I could stop myself. Shit. I tried to pull my emotions in, but my heart was trying to pound its way out of my chest. Real cool cat, that's me.
"I'm glad," Alyssa said with real warmth in her voice. "I wouldn't want unrequited missing."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. "No unrequited missing," I admitted. "The missing is definitely requited."
"Was the inn full this weekend?"
"Minus one room," I told her.
She didn't respond to that but instead told me about her upcoming week. She had in person meetings on Monday and Tuesday. The rest of the week she expected to work from home. "In person meetings are actually rare," she said. "They didn't used to be, but I've managed to convince my clients we can do everything remotely."
We talked about that for a while. She asked me how the dogs were doing and whether I was leading any backcountry trips.
"Nothing is on the schedule. Jenna and her boyfriend, Ted, handle most of them."
"So it was just blind luck I got you?" she asked.
"Yep. I only run a couple a year now. Most of our groups don't want a guide, anyway. Jenna only runs a couple a month herself."
"So what did you do on Friday after I left?"
"I mucked out the stable."
"Bullshit," she said immediately.
"No," I said. "Horse shit."
There was dead silence before she roared with laughter. "You really mucked out the stable?" she asked eventually.
"I needed a distraction."
We talked for a while longer, but every conversation turned back on itself. Neither one of us seemed to want to talk about being together. Or being apart. But it kept coming back to that.
"Maybe I shouldn't have called," Alyssa said eventually. She sounded as sad as I felt.
"No," I said. "I'm glad you did. Will you call again?"
"Do you want me to?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Then I will," she said. "But not for a few days. All right?"
"All right."
We hung up shortly after that. I missed her voice immediately. I sat in bed with the lights out for ten minutes before picking up my phone. I called her back. She answered immediately.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Are you coming back?" I asked her.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yes."
I could hear her smile. "Good. Maybe next week. I want to watch the weather. If it's going to be stormy, then the week after. If there's a place open for me."
"I can hold one," I said.
"No, don't do that. I'm supposed to enhance your rentals, not take away from them, Janis. I'll call, all right?"
"All right. It was good to hear your voice, Alyssa."
"I'll be thinking about you, Janis. And Blues misses Flapper and Henry. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams."
* * * *
Monday was a good day. I woke early after a good night's sleep. We had a few guests, so I acted as hostess in the morning then cleaned up a lot of pending paperwork. In the afternoon Jenna found me. "There's a group that wants to take a small fishing trip. The two families from cabins four and five. Want to take them?"
"What's wrong with you?"
"Another group is due back. I need to check them in, unless you want that part instead."
"I'll take the group fishing. I'll be right down."
Taking two families fishing was easier said than done, although we did it often enough. Left Bend Lake has a ten-horsepower motorized limit for boats. That normally would preclude most fishing boats. But the Red Paws Inn kept two pontoon boats with ten horsepower motors on them. They didn't go very fast, but they made for excellent fishing platforms. Jenna already had both boats ready.
I met Jake and Sue Swanson, Chris and Wendy Peters, and their collective five kids. Jake and Sue had one seventeen-year-old daughter named Megan. The other four kids belonged to Chris and Wendy. Megan was sweet and pretty, and all four of the other kids were completely under her spell. It was especially funny to watch Ben, Chris and Wendy's fourteen-year-old boy, hanging on every wo
rd Megan said. But Connie, the youngest at seven, was definitely the cutest of the lot, and even her older siblings seemed to love her.
I sent Jenna a silent look of appreciation. She grinned. She knew I loved it when my guests enjoyed themselves.
Jenna had already loaded both boats. The adults and Megan all had fishing licenses; the younger kids didn’t need them. There were coolers of water, soft drinks, and for the adults, beer. We had bait, fishing poles, and all the rest of the things we would need. The youngest children were in life vests, and I verified there were sufficient approved flotation devices for everyone going.
I talked briefly to the adults about what they wanted. It was simple: an afternoon of fishing. In deference to the youngest one, we might break it up with some swimming. So I ushered everyone to the boats, and that was when we had our first dispute.
The two wives wanted to ride together in one boat, which was fine, and they sent the husbands to the other boat. Megan headed to the boat with the two mothers, and the four younger kids all followed her. That put seven people on one boat, two on the other, and I wondered whether either Sue or Wendy knew how to drive a boat. I raised an eyebrow, and Wendy shrugged.
"Sorry, Ben," said Wendy. "Take your brother with your father. We're doing a boys’ boat and a girls’ boat today."
"But-" Ben started to say, glancing at Megan. He brightened up. "I thought perhaps you would need me to run the boat. And take the fish off the hooks for you."
I suppressed a smile. At least he thought quickly.
"I'm pretty sure Ms. Swain will run our boat," Wendy said, gesturing to me. "And if you'll recall, I'm the one who taught you how to remove a fish from a hook."
Ben still looked like he was going to rebel. Megan was pointedly ignoring him, which I thought was wise of her. I grabbed Jake and Chris, drawing them to the other boat, leaving Wendy to manage her son. "Have either of you run a pontoon boat before?" I asked them.
"I haven't," Chris said. "But I sail."
"That's more than me," Jake admitted.
"All right," I said. "There isn't much to it." I gave them a crash course. It only took a few minutes. By the time I was done, Ben and his little brother, Jerry, were with us. Neither of them looked happy about it.
"Actually, Ben," I said. "Maybe you should drive."
"Really?" he said, brightening up. Jake and Chris smiled and nodded, so I gave Ben a longer lesson in running the boat. With such small motors on the boats, they wouldn't go very fast, so he couldn't really do anything wrong. I started the motor then jumped off the boat and untied.
"I'll be right back," I told Sue and Wendy. I hopped back on the boat, backed it away from the dock, and got it turned out to the water. Once we were clear of shore, I had Ben take over. He was driving like an expert after just a few minutes. I had him take us back to the dock. "I'll hop out, Ben. Take the boat out from shore a ways and wait for us."
"Yes, Ms. Swain," he said.
"Be careful as you leave the dock. If you turn too sharply, the back end will slam into the dock." He nodded understanding.
I directed him to drive past the dock and I stepped out without the boat coming to a stop. I watched as the boat drove past the dock and Ben turned it away from shore again. Then I joined the ladies on the second pontoon boat.
"That was well done," Sue told me as I climbed aboard.
"He seems like a good kid," I replied.
"He is. That's a tough age."
"They're all tough ages."
The women laughed. "Ain't that the truth," Wendy agreed.
Megan didn't say anything, but I thought perhaps the attention amused her. I couldn't say I blamed her.
I got the boat moving, and it was only a few moments before we pulled alongside the guys, twenty feet separating the two boats. Excepting Ben, who seemed happy to be driving the boat, the guys already had lines in the water, casting and reeling in as Ben slowly motored along. At ten years old, I was impressed with Jerry, Ben's little brother. He seemed to know what he was doing.
I called over to the other boat. "We're going to head to a good sunfish spot. It's in the next bay. You can lead us, Ben." I gestured, and he turned his boat. I turned to follow.
"Megan," I said, "Did you want to drive?"
She moved to stand beside the steering console. "I don't know. It looks kind of complicated. Maybe Connie should help me."
Connie had been moving around the boat, and I didn't think she was paying attention. But she proved me wrong. She stood up straight and turned to face Megan. "Really? Me?"
"Sure," Megan said. "If it's allowed."
"She couldn't drive the boat alone," I said. "But if you help her, it'll be okay."
"Woo hoo!" the younger girl said, bouncing over. I climbed out of the captain's chair, Megan replacing me, and then she pulled Connie into her lap.
"What do we do?" Megan asked.
"That's the gas," I said, gesturing to the throttle control. "It's full throttle right now. And I bet you can figure out how to steer."
She nodded. After that, I watched carefully. Connie wanted to steer erratically, but Megan calmed her down, and together we puttered along. I whispered into Megan's ear to keep us forty yards away from Ben, and then I only watched to make sure we stayed safe.
The girls did a great job. I called out directions to Ben, and ten minutes later, with further direction from me, we slowly approached my favorite sunfish spot on the lake, right beside a long bank of lily pads. The guys anchored at one spot, and we anchored a short distance away, just far enough we wouldn't tangle each other's lines even with the boats shifting around on their anchor ropes.
The boats were outfitted with casting rods, which were great for the bass, walleye, and pike in our lake. But we also had cane poles, which was my preference for pan fish. They were also easier to use, making them a good choice for younger kids. I let the guys worry about themselves. I worked as a guide, handing out poles, baiting lines, and helping Connie with her pole.
Serious fishermen prefer using specialty fishing boats, but I learned from Gramps the joy of fishing from a pontoon boat. Especially for people who rarely went boating, I thought they were a lot safer. For one thing, they were exceedingly stable even as you moved around, so you were very unlikely to tip and fall off. And it was a lot easier for everyone to pick her own place on the boat, meaning hooking someone else or simply tangling lines was a smaller possibility. Oh, it could still happen, but it was less likely.
It didn't take long for there to be nine lines in the water, although there was a little rebellion from the guys' boat. Ben wanted to cast. I remembered being a teenager. Watching a bobber wasn't as much fun as casting. It gave you something to do.
Even now when I went fishing, I often brought a book.
But Chris talked to his son, and a few minutes later, he was holding a cane pole just like everyone else.
I heard a pop can open, and when I looked over, I saw Jake pop open a couple of beers, handing one to Chris. Wendy looked over at the guys, cocked her head, then asked, "Who wants a beer?"
"I do," Megan said. When I glanced at her, she was grinning.
"Me, too!" Connie added. "I want a beer."
"No problem," Wendy said. A moment later she handed both girls a root beer. Megan looked at it and sighed dramatically, but Connie seemed pleased with hers. Sue took a beer, but I accepted one of the root beers.
I was working, after all.
It only took a few minutes before we got our first bite. Jake landed a wriggling sunfish. Connie got the next bite, but she lost it. I thought she was going to be upset, but I just said, "That's part of fishing." I fixed the bait on her hook and helped her plop the line back in the water. It took a few more bites, but Connie finally landed her first fish, and she was ecstatic. Wendy made a big deal of her daughter's first fish, taking several pictures as the girl held the fish by the line. Then I unhooked it for her and tossed it in the basket.
* * * *
The day g
rew warm, and so when Wendy called out, "Who wants to go swimming?" she received a chorus of replies. The two women turned to me.
"We can do this in one of two ways," I declared, loudly enough to be heard on both boats. "We can motor out there-" I gestured towards the middle of the bay. "It's clear and clean, but deep. The kids and non-swimmers will have to wear life jackets. Or we can head back to the resort and swim from our beach, then go back out for more fishing later."
The kids weren't thrilled about the life jacket rule, but they loved the idea of swimming off the boats. And so we lifted anchor, motored about two hundred yards, and dropped anchors again. I had the guys anchor first then parked our boat near theirs. Soon, everyone was in the water.
I stayed aboard and kept an eye on things.
* * * *
Jenna heard us approaching and was standing on the dock by the time we drew close. I talked Ben through the docking process before bringing my own craft in. Ten minutes later, our guests had disappeared, and Jenna and I worked on cleaning the boats.
“Good day?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I gave her an overview.
“You like the families,” she observed.
“I can’t help but remember when I was their age,” I replied. I straightened and looked around for a moment. “This place shaped my entire life.” I gave one of the seats a scrub. “Today, those kids formed memories that will last the rest of their lives.”
“Not all kids have that.” She gave a little laugh. “I wonder if they went through withdrawal without their cell phones.”
I joined her laugh. “I didn’t see any signs.”
The two families from cabins three and four were scheduled for ten days and were here for the entire week. Tuesday morning, Sue, Wendy, and Megan caught me after breakfast. “Good morning, Janis.”
“Hey, Sue,” I replied. “What can I do for you?”
It was Megan who answered. “We’re on the edge of the Boundary Waters, right? The canoe area?”
“Yes,” I said. “One million acres of wilderness.”