Body on the Beach

by Maria Quick

  ‘She killed you?’

  ‘Yup. One whack to the back of the head with a champagne bottle and a push off the pier. Nice end to a beautiful holiday.’

  The guy looked so forlorn, I felt real bad for him. I’d met many a lucy who’d died at the hands of their family or close ones, and couldn’t figure out why. Knowing they’d been killed for money is usually the worst. And when they see their killers crying crocodile tears in public and laughing in private, it almost kills lucies all over again. They’ve known these people for decades, and turns out they never really knew them at all.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I told him.

  ‘It’s alright. I’m just annoyed that she got there first.’

  ‘I know how hard it can be, and how the people you love most can hurt you,’ I went on before something registered. ‘Wait, what?’

  ‘I went on that bloody holiday to kill her myself! She wasn’t getting a penny out of me. I planned to do it the next day. She was allergic to nuts, so that’d be simple enough. I had a bottle of peanut oil in my suitcase and I was going to pour it over her calamari. It would’ve been perfect. The bitch had to ruin it.’

  Unable to make a sentence, I looked to George for help. He was staring at me open-mouthed, pretty speechless too.

  ‘What?’ I repeated. It was the only word I was capable of right now.

  ‘You don’t stay with someone for thirty years without thinking of a few ways to kill them,’ he shrugged.

  ‘But what was all that about talking things through? And forgiveness?’ I spluttered, seriously annoyed. He laughed.

  ‘Well, let’s call that Plan A, shall we? To be honest, I couldn’t care less about her. I’d been sleeping with a coworker for almost three years now.’

  I stood up and began pacing up and down, trying to sort myself out. The notebook slipped to the floor but I didn’t bother picking it up. I hadn’t written anything down, and I certainly didn’t plan to now. To think I felt sorry for the man only a second ago.

  Some lucies are absolute victims. They didn’t deserve such an end, or to have their life snatched away from them for no goddamned reason. Some lucies had made mistakes, and wanted to repent.

  And then, there were lucies like Ronnie.

  ‘You’re a jerk,’ I told him. He nodded.

  ‘Yeah, probably. So, can you help me or what?’

  ‘Who said I can help you? Just because I can see you and communicate-’

  ‘Johnny said you could.’

  I glared at George.

  ‘Thanks, Johnny.’

  He cringed away from the both of us.

  ‘Sorry! I thought he really needed help. I didn’t realize he’d be an ass.’

  Ronnie chuckled again, unoffended.

  ‘Not the first time I’ve heard that. Can you put the telly on?’

  I blinked at him. He nodded towards the TV.

  ‘No, I can’t. My dad is sleeping. It’s past 3am,’ I informed him. Frowning, he jumped off of my bed and took a stroll around the room, peering at my bookshelf as George had.

  ‘That’s a shame. I haven’t watched a match in months.’

  ‘Have you been walking around the country this entire time?’ George asked, dumbfounded.

  ‘Afraid so. It took me a day or two to realize that I was dead and Angela had gotten away with it. I overheard the hotel manager gossiping with a waiter. She’d made up a story that I’d gone off with a younger model.’

  ‘It would hardly have been a made-up story, would it?’ I retorted.

  ‘True, very true. What have we got here? History, law, photography. What sort of kid are you?’ he asked, rounding on me in disgust.

  ‘A cultured one.’

  ‘She’s never read them,’ George sighed.

  ‘Suppose you’re not all bad, then,’ he snorted, much to George’s chagrin.

  I cursed the day I bought those books. I should’ve filled the shelf with stuffed animals and junk instead. At least then I wouldn’t have been repeatedly insulted by random lucies.

  ‘What did you want?’ I sighed, so ready for the day to be over.

  ‘How do you feel about murder?’ he asked blithely.

  ‘Very strongly against,’ I snapped, to George’s amusement.

  ‘No way I can sway you?’

  ‘Absolutely not. I’m not an assassin.’

  ‘Not even for a million dollars?’

  I looked pointedly around my room, not impressed.

  ‘I have a balcony on my bedroom. What would I do with a million bucks?’

  ‘You’re not even interested as to how I got it?’ Ronnie pouted.

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘I am,’ George yelled, putting his hand up for some reason. It was the enthusiasm Ronnie needed to bounce back onto my bed and tell another godforsaken story.

  ‘I’d been saving for bloody years. We’d planned to buy a beach house and retire to Miami, obviously before she betrayed me.’

  ‘And you, her,’ I coughed under my breath, slumping back on my chair.

  ‘So, I pretended to go through with the plan anyway. I left her to sunbathe that day and went to the nearest bank to withdraw every penny I’d saved. Bit awkward having to go through all that, but I’m glad I did. I put it all into a briefcase and hid it on a beach. If you kill her, it’s yours.’

  ‘You do realize that if I kill her, she’ll be with you forever like this?’

  Ronnie paled as he thought of it. Okay, little white lie, but no amount of money would make me kill anybody. He groaned.

  ‘Okay, scratch that idea then,’ he shuddered. ‘Will you at least find my body and put it to rest? And maybe make her life a living hell? Also, you’ll need to get the money before she finds it. Oh, and can you inform the police that she killed me, too?’

  ‘You don’t want much, do you? Fine. What beach?’ I asked, picking up my notebook. I could solve one issue right away.

  ‘I can’t remember.’

  Or not. George found it funny but I was seriously annoyed.

  ‘She hit me pretty hard! All I know is it’s in a briefcase buried in the sand. I think,’ he added, thinking furiously.

  I’d had enough. The day had taken its toll and meeting Ronnie had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Everything after that had served to break the camel’s spine and spirit, too.

  ‘Okay. I’ll deal with it all tomorrow. I’m going to bed. George, would you mind keeping him company?’

  ‘No way-’

  ‘Thanks, George.’

  I waved them goodbye and trudged off to the nearest guest room.

  At least I had Miami to look forward to.

  6

  I had an aunt living on the outskirts of Boca Raton, so I took the liberty of shooting off an email to let her know I’d be in the area. She was the type of relative I’d see every other Christmas, but it wouldn’t kill me to stop by for an hour or two. Besides, I was only really doing it to give my dad a good reason for my trip. My suitcase was packed and my flight booked. All that was left to do was leave.

  ‘Aren’t you still in school?’ George asked, peeking over my shoulder at my flight details I’d printed out.

  ‘For one week. Like it matters.’

  He glanced over at my bookshelf and frowned.

  ‘Maybe it’d matter for you.’

  I threw a pen at him and he flinched, watching it travel straight through his body.

  ‘Cute,’ he sighed.

  ‘Never gets old, trust me.’

  ‘We’ll see. Will your dad let you go alone?’

  ‘I won’t be alone,’ I replied. ‘I’ll be with you and Ronnie.’

  He seemed confused so I smiled patronizingly at him.

  ‘It was a joke, chill. It’ll be fine. Dad’s a football coach, so he travels a lot with his team. I’ve been flying with him for years, then straight back for school. He’ll be cool with it.’

  ‘And the missing school part?’

  ‘What are you, my mother?’ I sighed,
rooting for my passport. ‘It’ll be fine.’

  ‘And what about you? I thought you said you were retired from this?’ he bleated on.

  I frowned. I had said that, hadn’t I? Thing is, I can’t exactly switch this off. And Ronnie seemed to be exactly the annoying type of person who’d follow me until I did what he wanted.

  They were all like that, actually. It was better to do what they asked and then go back into hiding.

  Like I said, it’ll be fine.

  ‘Well, apparently I have no willpower. Wait, does this mean you want me to help you?’ I groaned, wishing I hadn’t adopted him.

  ‘I don’t know. I’m still working out a few things and I’m all mixed up and upside down.’

  ‘Sounds tragic. Where’s Ronnie?’

  ‘Uh, he headed off to Florida. Said something about wanting to beat us there?’

  I sighed, deeply regretting my decision to help him. My guess is he was already running across the states. Lucies can only run as fast as the average human, but it didn’t stop them trying. At least he wouldn’t be on the plane with me. Having one lucy with you was bad enough. Imagine trying to converse with thin air in public. Now imagine that on a plane. Yeah, I’d get thrown off in a heartbeat.

  ‘Right. Hopefully he’ll get lost along the way and get eaten by a ghost shark. No, that can’t happen,’ I said, as his facial expression said it all.

  ‘Of course not,’ he chuckled nervously. ‘We’re not going on a boat, are we?’

  ‘How would that- no, we are not. Is my dad still here?’ I asked, ridding myself of the stupid conversation. I’d booked the earliest flight possible last night, since I didn’t want to be around Ronnie longer than necessary. It was still before 7am, so there was a possibility that my dad hadn’t left yet. I preferred seeing him to leaving a note.

  ‘How would I know?’

  ‘Can you check? His room’s on the second floor, third door on the right.’

  He was majorly uncomfortable, but did as I asked. He returned ten seconds later, visibly relaxed.

  ‘Yeah, finishing combing his hair, thank God.’

  I rolled my eyes. Men.

  Picking up my suitcase, sunglasses and passport, I shut my door behind me and met my father on the stairs. He started at the sight of me. It was hard not to notice his tired eyes. He’d clearly been crying.

  Great, now I felt guilty again. It was all Stacy’s fault.

  ‘I thought you’d still be asleep, Bree. I-’ he looked down sharply as he saw my suitcase.

  ‘I’m going to stay with Aunt Yasmin for a few days, if that’s alright. Give us a little space, you know? Some time to get our heads straight? I’ve only got a couple days left of school anyway, I’m not missing much. Is that alright with you?’

  ‘Man, you’re bold,’ George whispered in my ear.

  I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t retort. Luckily though, my dad seemed pretty enthusiastic about my idea, nodding along as he thought about it.

  ‘That’s a great idea. If you won’t be missed in school, that is.’

  ‘No, we’re not doing much at the minute,’ I reassured him. ‘But if you could give them a call and let them know what’s happening, it might make it easier.’

  ‘Sure thing, Bree. And hey, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it,’ he told me seriously, hand on my shoulder. A little confused, I nodded anyway.

  ‘I know, Dad. I’ll see you in a week.’

  I kissed him goodbye and George followed me to our carport.

  He whistled appreciatively at our hoard.

  ‘I’m actually not surprised that you have more cars than people living here. What’s that, a vintage Corvette? Sweet. A Merc and an SUV, too. And what’s that in the corner? The blue one hiding under tarp?’

  ‘That’s Betsy. She’s broken,’ I said, taking the Corvette.

  ‘Betsy, huh? What happened to her?’

  ‘Not sure. You wanna listen to music?’

  ‘Sure. You gonna take her in to be checked out?’

  ‘Maybe, I don’t know. What’s with all the questions?’ I groaned, switching on the CD player. Smooth Criminal was playing. I quickly switched it back off and shuddered.

  ‘You don’t like that song?’ George asked slowly, taking in my weird response.

  ‘Hate it. Anything by Michael Jackson, nope.’

  ‘At least we have something in common. Who do you like?’

  ‘A bit of everything, really,’ I said, searching for another disc. There was nothing. Radio it was. I pulled out the driveway and put my sunglasses on, enjoying a beautiful day. George glanced around nervously. It was his first car ride since his death. It can be a little weird, or so I’ve heard.

  ‘This is the strangest experience I’ve ever had,’ he announced, mirroring my own thoughts.

  ‘It gets better. Or you become used to it, one of the two. How are things bearing with you?’

  ‘Okay, I guess. I thought I’d- I don’t know, feel things, but I don’t. I’m not mad or upset or anything. I’m trying my hardest, but I’m getting nothing.’

  ‘You want to feel those things?’

  ‘Anything to make me feel human again.’

  ‘But you’re-’

  ‘I know, I know,’ he interrupted, dragging his fingers through his hair. ‘I’m dead, you don’t need to remind me. But it’s only my body, isn’t it? I’m still here. I mean, what constitutes a person?’

  ‘Whoa, philosophy at this time?’ I joked, checking my watch.

  ‘I’m surprised you know what that word means,’ he quipped.

  ‘I could open the door and you would fall out. Then, you’d be stuck on this beautifully busy highway. Just sayin’.’

  ‘Understood. Seriously though, I’m having an existential crisis here. Am I still a person, or aren’t I?’

  I frowned, feeling the beginnings of a migraine. This talk was way too early for my liking, and I wasn’t only talking about the time of day.

  ‘A lot of Eastern religions believe in life after death,’ I said, the vaguest thing to come to mind. I didn’t have any answers at all for him, and I had never even seen the debate room in school. I was completely and utterly the wrong person to be speaking to about this sort of stuff. Unfortunately, I was also the only one.

  ‘You mean like Buddhism, Hinduism? Yeah, I get all that. I am a total believer now, obviously,’ he scoffed.

  ‘I don’t know what you want me to say,’ I admitted, smoothly switching lanes and upping the speed. ‘I’ve never really thought about it.’

  I had my eyes firmly on the road in front of me but I still couldn’t miss his piercing eyes staring unblinkingly at me. Clearly, I’d said the wrong thing.

  ‘Are you for real? You see the souls of the departed, for crying out loud. You are, as far as you’re aware, the only person in the world to do so. Do you not understand how huge that is? You could be solving decades-old mysteries right now. You could be making a scientific breakthrough as we speak. At the very, very least, you could be a rich and famous sellout. And instead you’re, what?’ he sighed, looking me up and down. ‘Living at home, begrudgingly helping out some dead guys?’

  ‘I’m seventeen,’ I reminded him. ‘I’m still in school. What do you expect me to do?’

  ‘Okay, what are your plans after school? College? Private detective agency? Travel the world to help those in need?’

  I braked as I almost crashed into the pickup truck in front of me. Reading the next sign, we didn’t have far to go, thank the Lord. It was my luck that the lucy in my care was the polar opposite of me.

  ‘Maybe I don’t want to do any of those things. Maybe I’m fine the way I am. Ever thought of that?’

  I thought about raising the volume on Smooth Tunes Hour, but it seemed a pretty petty action. I’d stick to sulking.

  Maneuvering onto the last stretch before the airport, I swiftly glanced over at George. He’d been pretty quiet, and it was bothering me. I offered up a desultory olive
branch.

  ‘Hey, I’m helping Ronnie, aren’t I?’

  He smirked sadly.

  ‘Sure. Like that makes up for anything. You know, I’ve had a thought. Maybe you’re not here to help me. Maybe I’m supposed to be helping you.’

  And then he laughed so loudly and unexpectedly that I couldn’t help but join in.

  ‘Yeah, right. You think that was the whole plan all along?’

  He laughed even harder, but managed to splutter, ‘you tell me.’

  ‘Wish I could,’ I shrugged. ‘Thing is, everything’s random. No rhyme nor reason, is what I’ve found. Sucks, but there it is.’

  He quietened down, his sudden hysteria forgotten for the moment. I took advantage of the fact to lay down some ground rules.

  ‘Okay, we are nearing the airport. If it’s a busy flight, I will completely ignore you. If there is anyone around me, I will ignore you. I will not be acknowledging you anywhere at all until we land safely in Miami and we are in the hire car. Basically, it’s going to be a quiet couple of hours. Questions?’

  ‘Many, but I will leave them unspoken, your majesty,’ he bowed.

  ‘Majesty,’ I mused, parking in the biggest lot known to mankind. ‘I like that.’

  7

  The plane was half-full, and as I took my seat, George’s face was full of wonder. I inwardly groaned, waiting for him to completely go against what I’d asked of him.

  Sure enough, he didn’t even wait until I’d belted up. Luckily, I already had my laptop switched on in preparation.

  ‘This is so weird. People are walking through me. They really can’t feel anything? Nothing at all?’

  I told you I wasn’t speaking to you, I typed.

  ‘Well, sure, but you can at least nod and shake your head, can’t you?’ he asked, ducking out of the way of falling baggage.

  No, I’d look like an utter moron.

  ‘You do anyway. Joke, don’t kill me.’

  If only I could.

  ‘What does that say?’ he asked, leaning over and squinting. He rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, now who’s the joker?’

  I didn’t call you a joker! What are you even talking about? I tapped furiously, getting annoyed. The passenger on the seat next to me started to get a little curious, oblivious to the fact that George’s head was poking out of his rotund stomach.