Cravings of the Heart (Trials of Fear Book 5)

by Nicky James

  Fighting the urge to grin, he turned his face up again, leaving his head rested on my shoulder. “Okay, master, what have we got?”

  Soaking up our connection, I studied the sky. “Over there. See how there are arcs of stars spilling out of that tiny cluster?”

  Arden blinked at where I pointed, screwed up his face in confusion then shrugged. “Let’s go with yes.”

  “I call it, Kitty’s Whiskers.”

  “I think you’re on drugs. All I see are stick people dudes taking a piss. The arcs are their urine, raining down on us all. Disgusting. Can you feel it?” I burst out laughing as Arden tried desperately to hold onto a serious expression. “I’m serious. It’s like a gentle mist covering this whole area? I will call it, Homines of Urania or something to that effect.”

  “Latin?”

  “Maybe. It sounded more authentic then Puddle of Stars.”

  When he couldn’t maintain the straight face anymore, Arden joined me in a fit of laughter, burying his face once again, his body vibrating with the effort. And it was sweet music to my ears.

  His small frame half-lay across mine, but his weight was insignificant. I wrapped an arm around his waist and held him as we snorted and lost ourselves in hysterics. By the time we calmed, he’d somehow shifted so he was more or less on top of me. He lifted his head and peered down into my eyes. His were nothing more than dark pools, but they flooded with something I recognized.

  Want. Lust. Need.

  The feelings were mutual.

  I lifted my head at the same time he lowered his, and our mouths came together in a heated kiss I was becoming familiar with. His flavor, his soft lips, and the feathering tickle of his hair as it fell against my forehead all worked together to make my blood tingle.

  It wasn’t a long kiss, but long enough I got a simple taste of Arden when his tongue teased mine. Silky sweet and nowhere near long enough. His kiss was something I didn’t know I’d been craving all evening but having it again made my body sing and yearn for more.

  We came apart with a shy chuckle. His face was shadowed, but Arden didn’t hide, and there was enough light to make out the gentle turn at the corner of his mouth on the right side. An almost smile. Close. Enough I wanted to hold his face steady and encourage it out. Savor it when it appeared. Kiss the perfection I knew he was hiding. I hungered for it.

  Someday, I told myself. He couldn’t hide forever.

  Instead, I drew him down and tasted him again. Longer that time. Slower. My stomach filled with butterflies and my skin buzzed. Ghosting my hands over his back and hips and up his sides to his face, I prayed he didn’t stop me. I wanted to feel him. Touch him. Learn every part of him. His hair between my fingers was downy soft, no different than a baby’s. Fine, delicate, wispy and feathery. I could have laced my fingers through it all night. His sweet scent permeated the air.

  Arden broke the kiss, a slight dip in his brow calling my attention. It wasn’t quite a frown, but it was… something.

  “You okay?”

  He slid sideways and lay beside me again, one leg remained between mine, his head stayed in the crook of my arm. For a beat, the only sound was our breathing as his fingers roamed my chest over my T-shirt.

  He cleared his throat and tipped his chin to the sky again.

  “You were giving me a lesson.”

  I paused, unsure what the sudden shift in focus meant but thought it unwise to address it. I followed his gaze.

  “I think it was the other way around. You are clearly the expert.”

  He swatted my chest, a slight vibration zinging against my side as he chuckled to himself. “Better believe it. Now, where was I?”

  He craned his neck and studied the sky.

  I studied him instead. The stars had nothing on Arden. He was beautiful in a delicate almost fragile way.

  “Okay, I’ve got one.”

  Reluctantly, I peered back at the sky, but in that exact moment, Arden shot out from under my hold and sat up, eyes wide as he stared at the blanket of stars overhead.

  “What? What is it?”

  Slowly lowering his head, his gaze flickered left and right, his mind spinning in the starlit night. He didn't see the world in front of him. He was lost somewhere in his head.

  “Arden?”

  With a long blink, his gaze cleared and he stared in bewilderment. “I just had the most incredible idea for a design. Shit. I need my sketchbook. This is brilliant. I can see it. Like bringing the heavens to earth on your wedding day. I could call it… Stargazer or something like that.”

  He shook his head and blinked in my direction.

  The wonder radiating off him was contagious.

  “My backpack!” he exclaimed, flipping his head toward the parking lot.

  “You have a sketchbook in your backpack?”

  “Yes.”

  He was about to fly off the table. I planted my hands on his knees, keeping him in place. “Stay. Close your eyes. See it. Make it in your head. I’ll be right back.”

  I pecked a sweet kiss on his lips and hightailed it to the parking lot.

  The minute I returned with his bag, Arden burst into action. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the table top he bent to work on his sketch. The pencil flew across the page without any hesitation.

  “Can you see in the dark?”

  “Mostly,” he mumbled, distracted. “The moon is bright enough. But I can see it in my head. That’s all that matters. My brain tells my hand what to draw. You could blindfold me and I’d still manage to draw it.”

  Stunned, I gave him space while he roughed out whatever idea it was that had exploded across his vision while we stargazed.

  Watching him work was something else. His focus and concentration were intense. Scowling at the page, his brows dipped low, and his tongue ran a continuous trail over his upper lip. He tipped his head one way then the other, paused at random as though accessing that picture in his mind to compare with what he’d drawn.

  As he worked, I settled on the bench not too far away, soaking up all of this passionate person I was beginning to know. He drew for a long time.

  I checked my phone. It was after midnight. Work tomorrow would be exhausting since I started at seven a.m., but it was worth it to see this side of Arden.

  Another half hour ticked by. He scratched his forehead, frowned, and kept drawing. When his stomach growled, he didn’t draw attention to it. Maybe he didn’t notice.

  I was reminded of how little he’d eaten and our conversation from earlier. Curious, I dug through his open backpack and found the sleeve of crackers. Arden was so lost in his work, I wondered if I’d be able to coax him into eating more without drawing too much attention to the action.

  I fished out a cracker and brushed my fingers along his knee to grab his attention. When he blinked and lifted his gaze from his work, I held it out. A simple offering, nothing more.

  For a beat, he stared at the cracker, and I wasn’t sure he was going to take it. Then he plucked it from my hand.

  “Thanks,” he whispered.

  He flipped it over, examining both sides critically before he nibbled the corner, returning to his work.

  I managed to get five more crackers into him without trouble before he announced he was finished. Zipping his pencil back in the case, he thrust the sketchbook into my hands.

  It was dark. The moon had shifted across the sky, and I didn’t know how he’d managed to draw anything. Tilting the pad so it caught the light, I stared, slack-jawed at the gown he’d created over the past hour.

  Admittedly, I knew little about wedding attire and less about dresses, but the design he’d created had so many stunning features it was easy to see how incredible it would look brought to life.

  Arden shifted to sit beside me, leaning heavily against my shoulder as he explained. “Strapless, because often times, too much heaviness in the top half diverts attention upward and I want the eyes trained on the detail. So we have a form-fitted top and a loose silk ski
rt all covered in ivory beaded tulle. The beading and embroidery work all come together to make the moon and star patterns. There are crystal sparkles right in the fabric to give it the right amount of shimmer. The beads are carefully woven to make constellations—which I’ll need to accurately look up since I have zilch for knowledge in that department and these ones are just made up. If I use a glow-in-the-dark bead, it will come to life in the dimmed light of a wedding reception making the bride stand out even more.” He shrugged and waved a hand over the page. “It’s just a mock-up. Not very good but you get the idea.”

  A mock-up? Not good? He was insane. It was brilliant.

  Arden vibrated with excitement as he pointed out all the smaller details he’d worked into his drawing. It was amazing. But what was more amazing was Arden. Perhaps one part of him was a mystery and left me with concerns a mile long, but this part of him was breathtaking and beautiful.

  Stunning.

  I didn’t care a bit about fashion, but I could listen to him talk all night.

  Once he’d yammered to a stop, he ducked his head. “Wow, that’s kinda embarrassing. I just completely went off in my own little world for hours and we were supposed to be having a… date… ish.”

  I closed his sketchbook and handed it back so he could put it away. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve had an amazing night. Watching your mind work was a treat.”

  He huffed. “You’re being nice.”

  “I’m being honest.”

  He zipped his bag and dropped it on the ground. “Wanna stargaze some more? I promise not to lose myself again.”

  I smiled and couldn’t resist touching him. Brushing my knuckles along his cheek, I recalled our kiss and how he tasted. If we stayed, I could experience it again.

  “I would love to, but I work at seven in the morning, and it’s getting late.”

  “Oh no!” Arden tore his phone from his pocket, and his eyes bugged. “It’s almost two in the morning! I had no idea.”

  “It’s okay. I had fun. But I should try to get some sleep. If I’m dragging my feet too much, Mickey will be pissed.”

  Reluctantly agreeing, we walked back to my car and Arden apologized a dozen more times before I pulled up in front of his house.

  “Stop fretting. I’ll be fine. Not the first long night I’ve pulled. Believe me.”

  He sighed and stared at his house. The windows were dark, and there was no sign of life beyond.

  “I had a good time,” he said, turning to me.

  “So did I.”

  “Are you gonna make me wait three weeks again?”

  I clasped his hand and brought it to my mouth, kissing his knuckles. “Not a chance.”

  Relief bloomed across his face. Touching his cheek, I drew him closer, meeting him in the middle so I could steal one final kiss before leaving. It was too good and too short. Like every time before, it sparked a fire between us.

  I definitely wouldn’t be waiting three weeks again. There was no way.

  Breaking apart was hard. Arden licked his lips as though tasting our connection as he studied me, the shadows hiding his natural blue.

  “Good night, Iggy.”

  “Good night.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Arden

  I didn’t have to wait for three weeks. In fact, Iggy messaged me that weekend to see if I was available to go out.

  Arden: Did you have some place in mind?

  Iggy: Someone at the soup kitchen today was talking about Riverside Gardens. I guess there has been an abundance of birds and butterflies lately and the guy said they were literally eating right out of his hand. Wanna check it out?

  It was better than him suggesting food or drinks somewhere. Dating had always held that particular snag. Not that I’d dated much. Most guys gave up fast when I acted weird around food and turned down dinner dates. The only reason I’d stumbled this far with Iggy was because of who he was. Ten freaking years and he’d agreed to date me. Yeah, I’d figure a way around it if it killed me. No way was I letting a possible relationship with Iggy Rojas go.

  The Riverside Gardens was a popular place for wedding parties and photoshoots. It was a Saturday, so the chance of us running across one, or a few, were high.

  I was a bit of a snob like that. Sneaking glimpses of other people’s wedding choices, eyeing up dresses and tuxes, and spinning ideas in my head of what I’d do differently was my favorite past time. My mind was filled with ideas I could barely contain.

  Someday, I told myself. Someday, I’d showcase them all.

  Arden: Sounds perfect.

  Iggy: How about I pick you up down the road from your house in an hour.

  With plans made, I spent a few minutes getting ready and packed my backpack with art supplies and an emergency sleeve of crackers—just in case. I’d managed a piece of toast and an apple earlier, so the gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach had subsided.

  Iggy texted before he left his house, and I sneaked out the door before Mom could ask questions. At twenty years old, I was free to come and go as I pleased, but it didn’t stop that mother hen side of her from keeping tabs all the time. Especially since my poor eating habits were a bone of contention and concern on a daily basis.

  It was a hot day, and for once, my hoodie was overkill. I pulled it off while I waited by the curb and shoved it into my backpack. The T-shirt I had on hung loose—like everything I owned—but I couldn’t decide if it helped hide my small frame or accentuated it. I studied myself, frowning and tugging it over my body to make it look better. It was pointless. I looked like a kid wearing some grown-up’s clothes.

  Ugh!

  Iggy pulled up, giving me no more time to contemplate.

  “Hey,” I said, fighting a smile as I dropped onto the passenger side seat and closed the door.

  His grin split his face and crinkled the corners around his amber eyes. He gripped the steering wheel tight and eyed me, a hint of shyness crossing his face.

  I bit my lip and studied him. Grown-up Iggy was hard to ignore. He was all sexy-edged and deep-voiced.

  “See how I didn’t wait three weeks this time.”

  “I did see. Thank you for inviting me out.”

  “I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

  My stomach somersaulted and my gaze caught on his hands again. Those big gentle hands. He wrung them over the steering wheel over and over, nervously and anxiously.

  I quirked a brow. “You okay?”

  He flicked his gaze to his hold on the wheel and chuckled, releasing them. He side-eyed me then rattled his head. “Fuck it.” Then he leaned over and clasped one of those warm mitts around my nape and pulled me against his mouth.

  I melted into his kiss, nearly tumbling over the middle console in an effort to be closer. My eyes slipped closed, and an unfiltered moan climbed my throat as I opened and accepted that silky, tantalizing tongue into my mouth. It sent a shiver over my entire body, centering into a warm heat that spread between my legs.

  It was short and sweet, but when Iggy pulled back, I licked the taste of him off my lips, savoring it as I peered through half-lidded eyes in a kiss-drunk haze.

  “I could get used to that.”

  “I was trying to be a gentleman and not attack you the second you got in my car. I couldn’t wait to kiss you again. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

  I dropped my forehead to his and fought a smile that started all the way in my toes. Damn what he did to me. And why weren’t we going somewhere quiet and private? Cuz I could sure go for more of this.

  Right, Iggy didn’t work that way. He was slow, methodical, sensual. No quick fucks. No hookups.

  I could definitely be okay with that.

  “Believe me, I feel the same way.”

  “Should we go before your parents discover us?”

  I peered over my shoulder and down the street toward my house. It was midday, so the chances of being caught sitting by the side of the road were much higher.

  “Yeah, let’s g
et out of here.”

  Iggy shifted around to drive then halted, pointing at my backpack. “Do you have your sketchbook?”

  My cheeks warmed, and I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I take it everywhere I go. I promise I won’t ruin this date and spend the whole time drawing again. Cross my heart.”

  Iggy chuckled with zero hints of annoyance. “You think that bothered me? It was amazing watching you draw. Like witnessing a secret no one else gets to see or something. I was hoping you’d bring it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, maybe since we have daylight this time, you can show me some of your work.”

  It still amazed me how open and accepting Iggy was about my interest in design. I’d spent so many years defending my choices, it was unexpected to hear someone be so supportive.

  “Sure. I’d like that.”

  The Riverside Gardens were a square mile of paths, bushes, and flowers in every color of the rainbow. Arches and domed tunnels of lattice and vines marked the beginning of new areas, and the endless walkways weaved in and around so many well-groomed garden beds you could spend hours and never walk the same path twice.

  Benches were lined up every few dozen feet, and trickling fountains of polished stone and marble highlighted multiple sections. There were small bridges and tiny streams. Little nooks and hideaway tables for picnicking. Canopies of succulent growth climbed high yet hung low with the weight of their bright blooms. There were areas of full sun and others with umbrellas of trees overhead where shade-loving plants grew underneath.

  The mixture of fragrant smells tickled my nose. Bees buzzed from petal to petal collecting pollen. Sweet birdsong filled the air, and the silent flutter of colorful butterfly wings danced in the wind.

  It was beautiful and relaxing in a way I never realized. Breathtaking, like walking into a whole other world.

  Iggy took my hand, unashamed. His giant mitt practically swallowing up my much smaller fingers. I had to continually glance up and double check that I was truly there with Iggy Rojas. My Iggy Rojas! It was like a dream. He gave smiles freely every time our eyes met, and I wished I could return them without a swamping discomfort filling my belly.