Defying Gravity: An Ice Tigers Hockey Novel

by Isabella Cassazza

  I also think I finally have my attraction under control, or at least I hope that’s the case. I haven’t had any erotic dreams involving Danny or Tyler this week, and I’m confident that I can see them only as friends from now on. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

  Ryan waves his hand in front of my face. “Lily, are you listening?”

  “Sorry. I’m listening.”

  He scratches his chin. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but I might have a buyer for Cornado.”

  And there goes my evening. I feel like the floor has been ripped out from underneath me and I’m free-falling.

  “I understand.”

  And I do. But it hurts, like knives inserted in all my vital organs at once. After all the trouble I’ve had with him, we’ve finally become a team, and I wish I could have more time with him. I had high hopes of proving myself in competition with him, but those hopes have been crushed now.

  To be ripped apart like this is brutal, but it’s business, and it’ll always be like that. It’s the hard reality of being a horse trainer. I’ll always be dependent on the owners’ decisions. There’s no way I can afford a horse as talented as Cornado myself, as one like that easily sells for half a million and upward.

  “Lily—”

  “It’s all good, Ryan. I truly understand. But I really have to go now. Let’s talk tomorrow.”

  The next thing I remember is opening the door to the apartment with my key. I don’t remember how I got here. Wow, I must have driven here on autopilot. Hopefully I haven’t broken any speed limits, or worse.

  “Hey, Lily,” Danny greets me as I let myself into the apartment.

  “Hey.” I hug him briefly.

  “You all right?”

  Do I really look that bad? Why does he always pick up on my mood swings?

  “A little tired.” I shrug off my coat, and he takes it from my hands. “Thank you.” I take off my shoes.

  “Are you hungry? Ty made spaghetti and meat sauce today.”

  “No, I’m good.” My stomach is tied in knots. I had planned to eat with them, but my appetite is gone. I try to walk past him, but he stops me.

  “Those whores didn’t insult you again, did they?”

  “No, I haven’t seen them again.” Thank God, and I hope it stays that way. Maybe Ty can get us seats in another section for the next game.

  Before Danny can ask me more questions, I quickly walk past him, refusing to meet his eyes again.

  “Hey, Ty.” I enter the living room.

  “Hey, Lily. How’s it going?” He smiles warmly at me and hugs me close. Damn that smile. I thought I was immune, but my stomach flutters a little.

  “It’s been going great. How was the road trip?”

  “Long. Lonely. Pretty frustrating.” He scratches his chin. “On home ice everything’s fine, but once we hit the road, we lose our momentum.”

  I nod, unsure how to reply. Facing a series of losses must be tough. Losing is never fun, but when you know you can do a lot better, it’s even harder.

  I take my usual spot in the big armchair, folding a blanket around me. Not that it’s cold in the apartment—Danny and Tyler are running around in T-shirts—but the blanket makes me feel secure and protected. All I want is to cuddle up right now and shut out reality, and maybe cry a little.

  Danny joins us, sitting down practically on top of Ty. He giggles like a girl when Tyler moves him around until they lie spooned together. Then they look each other deeply in the eye and Danny leans in for a quick kiss.

  Why do they have to be so fucking cute together? There’s something sweet about two men cuddling. But these two, they’re perfection. The way Tyler holds Danny in his arms, the way his hand is sprawled over Danny’s abdomen, it’s hot. And sweet. And cute. And I would give an arm to experience Tyler’s body pressed to mine like that only once. Instead, I cuddle with my blanket and ask myself why my ex-boyfriend never held me like I’m the most precious thing. And why the world is so unfair. I don’t want to lose Cornado.

  Tyler starts the next episode of Game of Thrones. Usually I’m super excited about the show’s unpredictable plot twists, but today I don’t pay any attention to what’s happening on the screen. Ryan’s words replay in my mind, and suddenly it’s all too much. I press my hand against my mouth to keep my lips from trembling, but it’s already a lost cause.

  Crap. My eyes are welling up too. I can’t cry. I can’t cry. I won’t cry.

  I cry.

  As if it wasn’t bad enough that tears are flowing down my cheeks now, I can’t hold back a little sniffle as well. Double crap. It’s one thing to lose control like this when I’m alone, but another to lose it in front of people. I’ve always preferred to cry alone. I don’t want pity.

  “Lily? Are you crying?” That’s Danny’s voice.

  Damn, now I really wish I’d paid more attention to the screen. Maybe something sad happened and I can use that as an excuse?

  I shake my head, not trusting my voice at the moment. But he isn’t easily fooled. Damn that sensitive man.

  “Hey.” He kneels in front of me.

  I press my left hand into my thigh, squeezing hard, trying desperately to hold myself together.

  “Ryan has a buyer for Cornado,” I blurt, losing the fight. Danny instantly pulls me into his arms, and the dam breaks. I sob against his shoulder like a baby, unable to control myself any longer.

  “Shhh. Shhh. I’m so sorry, Lily. Let it out. I’ve got you. Shhh.” He rubs my back in big circles and holds me tight, placing soft kisses on my head.

  I let myself be embraced by his strength and cry until there are no tears left inside me. My body slumps against Danny, emotionally drained and physically exhausted.

  “I’ll be right back,” I hear Tyler say and listen to his retreating footsteps.

  “He’s a bit of an emotional cripple. Doesn’t deal well with people crying around him.” Danny places another kiss on my head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shake my head. “Not at the moment.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. You just tell me when you’re ready.”

  Tyler returns, placing a chocolate bar on the armchair.

  “We only have one left.” He kneels on the floor as well.

  “It’s perfect.” I grab the package and rip it open, helping myself to a big chunk. The chocolate melts in my mouth, and I instantly feel better.

  “I guess we’ll have to rewatch this episode at some other time?” Danny helps himself to a chunk as well.

  “Sorry. I guess my head wasn’t in the game tonight.”

  “Next time you tell us right away when something’s bothering you.” Danny brushes his hand over my cheek, wiping away the wetness, and my insides quiver. I nod, feeling ashamed about how I treated him earlier. My behavior was downright rude, and he didn’t deserve that.

  “If there’s anything we can do—”

  “I let you know,” I finish Ty’s sentence.

  “You’re feeling better now?” he asks.

  I nod and inhale another chunk. “Chocolate makes everything better.” Even if it’s just for a minute.

  “To chocolate, then,” Danny says, raising an imaginary glass.

  “To chocolate and pizza.” Tyler laughs, and his dimples show, but then his face becomes serious. “Listen, I wanted to discuss something with you.” He scratches his neck.

  I look at Danny, but he just shrugs. I turn my attention back to Tyler.

  “I want to host a movie night. For the team.”

  Danny’s mouth falls open. “You want to invite your whole team over?”

  Tyler nods, but I’m confused. Where’s Mister I’m-more-in-the-closet-than-physically- possible? What happened to the “apartment is and always will be our sanctuary”?

  “How many guys are we talking about?” I hear myself say.

  “Twenty-four.”

  “Twenty-four?” That’s a lot of people. Some of them would have to sit on the floor. But it�
��s possible. The couch alone can easily host ten guys, when they’re sitting close to each other.

  “They’re pretty nosey. Last time they checked out every room.” Tyler scratches his neck again.

  “We’d have to prep the apartment.” My stuff can’t stay in the guest room if they’re as nosey as Tyler says.

  Tyler nods.

  “What kind of prep?” Danny asks.

  “We’d have to move my stuff in the master and your stuff in the guest bedroom, and add some décor stuff.” I look around, taking in the man cave. It’s black and white. Leather and steel. There’s no decorative feel to the furniture. It’s clean, but no one will believe a girl lives here. The homey feeling is missing.

  “Have I officially moved in with you?” I look at Tyler.

  “Pretty much. Smithy thinks you’re over all the time.”

  “Definitely décor stuff, then. Are you okay with that, Danny?”

  He’s still looking at Tyler, his mouth slightly open, but then he turns to me and nods. “I am. Team bonding is important. I’m just surprised, but in a good way.”

  Tyler grins at him. “You’re invited. Last time the captain invited a friend as well.”

  Danny grabs Ty and pulls him in for a long kiss while I check the furniture for nonexistent dust.

  “I love you,” Danny tells Tyler, his smile as bright as a million halogen headlights.

  “Love you too.”

  “Lily, you’re invited as well, but you don’t have to be here for the evening if you don’t want to.”

  “I think I’ll pass on twenty-four nosey guys.” I wink at him. “But I’ll help with the preparation. When is it going to be?”

  He scratches his head again, looking sheepish. “Tomorrow.”

  “What?” Tomorrow? Is he joking? This could blow our cover. If one of the guys finds out our relationship is a farce… I don’t even want to think about it. “Are you crazy?”

  He scratches his neck again, and I swear if he does that again, I’ll hold his hand clamped to his side for the rest of the evening.

  “Usually Nessy invites us over, but his wife is expecting their second child soon, and she doesn’t want the guys around, so I stepped in. I think we can make the playoffs this year. It’s a great group of guys, but we need to bond off the ice as well. I’m one of the veterans now, and I want to take over responsibility. Saving movie night sends the right message.”

  “Is Nessy really his name?” I ask. I still haven’t memorized all the names.

  “Nah, his last name is Ness, but everyone calls him Nessy. He’s our captain.”

  “Are you Wolfey, then?” I’m curious now.

  “No.” He laughs. “I don’t have a nickname. Sometimes they call me Lonesome Wolfe.”

  Ah, that’s why they called him Lonesome Wolfe in the article. It’s kind of sad, but I don’t say that. No more negative thoughts tonight.

  “Let’s get started, then. You two get Danny’s stuff. I’ll get mine.” Thank God I haven’t brought too many things over yet. We can always say I still have my old apartment at the stable. It isn’t even a lie.

  “And don’t forget the bathroom,” I shout after them.

  It’s one in the morning when we’re finally satisfied with our efforts and go to bed. No one can tell that I’m living in the guest room anymore. Tomorrow, I’ll just have to move some stuff from the bathroom. I just hope we don’t have to do this too often. It’s exhausting, and we have to move most of the things back the day after tomorrow. Maybe I should write a checklist; it’ll speed up the process next time.

  * * *

  “Do we really have to do this? I like the place just fine as it is.” Tyler walks next to me as we make our way to a little home décor shop I always wanted to come by but never found the time.

  “Yes, we do.” His shoulders sag. He looks so forlorn. I quickly look around, making sure no one’s eavesdropping. “Aren’t gay guys into decorating?”

  “You’re terrible.” He winks at me. “And just for the record, Danny isn’t into decorating either.”

  I lift my hands up. “No more stereotypes, then. Come on. I promise I won’t go overboard with the décor. Just some candles and a few things to add a little color.”

  I don’t wait for his response, just enter the little shop. It smells heavenly inside. Warm and cozy, like beeswax and vanilla. I wonder if I can persuade Ty into letting me buy some scented candles.

  “Hey, how can I help you?” A brunette woman greets me with a warm smile.

  “Hey. I just moved in with my boyfriend, and I really need a few things to help me feel at home in his bachelor pad.”

  She laughs. “Let me guess. You’re not happy with your girlfriend’s wish. But don’t worry. Sometimes little things can make a difference. I’m Ellie. Welcome to Cozy Cottage.”

  Tyler’s shoulders relax at Ellie’s words. She has this warm and welcoming demeanor around her, and she doesn’t seem to recognize him. That’s a new one.

  “I’m Lily, and this is Tyler. Nice to meet you, Ellie.”

  “Nice to meet you too. Tyler, why don’t you sit down at the table over there. You can read the newspaper while I show Lily around and make a preselection with her. Don’t worry, we’ll show you everything before making a final decision on what will end up in your home.”

  Tyler nods and heads for the wooden table in the corner while I follow Ellie.

  “In my opinion, candles help a lot with coziness.” She points out different colors and textures to me, and I know I already like this woman.

  “Do you handle all men like you did Tyler?” I ask as I pick up an aqua-colored beeswax candle.

  “It’s better for business. The men are happy and let their significant others buy more.”

  I stifle my laugh. “Very clever. I love the aqua and dark blue ones. They will go well with all the black and steel in our apartment, but I need something else too, to create a homey feeling.”

  “I see. Let me think. I assume everything is modern and clean in your home.”

  “It’s a man cave.”

  Ellie laughs. “Well, I think I have an idea. Just give me a moment. I’ll be right back.”

  I walk around looking at Christmas decorations. It’s a little too soon to put these up, but I’ll have to come back and buy some—at least for my place. I’m not sure how Tyler and Danny feel about Christmas décor. I’m not even sure if they’ll spend Christmas together.

  I’m about to walk to the next section when my phone rings.

  It’s my mom.

  Crap, so far I’ve managed to avoid talking to her. She’s sent me several text messages, asking about the article and about Tyler, but I’ve been a coward. I’m still not sure what to tell her.

  I hesitate but pick up the phone. “Hey, Mom.” That gets Tyler’s attention, even from his place in the corner.

  “Hello, Lily. Nice of you to finally answer one of my calls.”

  I swallow. “Sorry, Mom, things have been hectic. I have my first client.” Hopefully that’ll distract her.

  “I’m happy for you, Lily. Very happy. But I want to talk about that hockey guy. You never told me you even had a boyfriend.” It’s so like my mom to come straight to the point.

  I groan inwardly and look at Tyler. “We haven’t been seing each other for long.”

  “But it’s serious?”

  As serious as a fake relationship can be. “It is.”

  “So when will I meet Tyler?” It’s damn inconvenient when your mother can find out your relationship status from tabloids.

  “I’ll have to check with him, but he’s very busy during the season, and I’m preparing for competitions.” Or at least I have been. It might not happen anymore with Cornado’s pending sale, but she doesn’t need to know that.

  “But you’re still coming home for Christmas?”

  “Yes, Mom, I’ll be home for Christmas. I promise. Listen, I gotta go now. I’ll call you tonight.”

  She sighs. “All right
, Lily. I miss you.”

  “Miss you too. Bye.”

  “Everything all right?” Ty’s voice startles me. He’s about to stand up, but I motion him to stay seated.

  “My mom wants to get to know you.”

  He nods but doesn’t have the opportunity to say anything, as Ellie returns with several boxes.

  “Sorry, it took me a while to find these, but I’d say this is what you’re looking for.” She pulls out wooden objects formed like hexagons in various sizes and colors. “They’re meant to be shelves but can be placed on furniture or even on the floor.”

  She’s right, they’re perfect to improve the man cave.

  “I like them.” Tyler walks over and picks up the biggest one, as if to weigh it in his hand.

  “Wicked.” Ellie winks at me.

  “I’d like to have aqua and dark blue candles as well.” I show him the preselected ones.

  He lifts one and sniffs it. “They smell nice.” Yes, they do! And they look beautiful.

  “Thank you.” I bend over and kiss him briefly. That’s the thing to do when you’re in a relationship, right?

  “Ah, aren’t you cute.” Ellie takes the items and walks to the register.

  Ty takes care of the bill, and we say our goodbyes.

  “That wasn’t half as bad as expected.” Tyler takes my hand as we walk outside.

  “I like Ellie.”

  “Me too. So, your mom wants to meet me.” He lets go of my hand and puts his arm around me, pulling me closer to his side. This feels so nice. And real. He’s pulling off the perfect act.

  I look up at him. “She read the articles and is curious. I told her you’re very busy.”

  “You don’t want me to meet her.” It’s not a question.

  “She’s very observant.”

  He nods and lets go of my shoulders again, interlacing our hands instead, and we walk back in silence.

  * * *

  I’m about to put the finishing touches on our newly acquired décor when the doorbell rings. I’m glad I don’t have to spend the evening when ten guys enter the apartment and immediately make it seem cramped.