Rosanna's Gift

by Susan Lantz Simpson

  “How much longer are we keeping her?”

  “Sh-she belongs t-to me. Her mamm is gone, and we’re keeping her forever.”

  “What?”

  Mollie startled at Samuel’s loud, deep voice. She whimpered again. Rosanna swayed to rock and calm her. “I think she’s getting hungry.”

  “Explain, Rosanna. Tell me how you think this boppli is yours.”

  “I-I will, Daed. Let me get her bottle first, please.” Rosanna scooted across to the counter to grab the bottle she’d placed in a pan of warm water earlier. She returned to her seat and placed the nipple between the perfectly shaped little lips. Immediately the infant began sucking. As Mollie ate, Rosanna tried to explain how she came to be Mollie’s mudder.

  Katie and Sadie squealed. “A boppli! We’re aentis!”

  “Absolutely not!” Samuel’s declaration caused even James to stop eating, at least momentarily.

  “It’s all completely legal, Daed, and I accept full responsibility for her.” Rosanna looked to her mamm, silently begging for help.

  “It is legal, Samuel.” Sarah’s voice was as soft and smooth as the melted butter oozing from Tobias’ muffin. “I asked a lawyer.” She told her husband about her visit to the Rogers’ house.

  “We can’t turn her away, Daed. It wouldn’t be the Christian thing to do.”

  Samuel hedged. “We can keep her until we can find a couple to adopt her.”

  “I plan to adopt her, Daed. Jane chose me to raise her little girl.”

  “A boppli needs a mamm and a daed, a real family.”

  “We’re a real family. Plenty of widowed people raise kinner alone. I’m fortunate to have all of you for support. Please, Daed.” Rosanna silently forbade the tears pooling in her eyes to drip down her cheeks. She had to appear strong and confident even if her insides trembled so violently she feared her knees would buckle.

  She looked down at the sweet, innocent infant, whose eyes grew heavy again now that her belly was satisfied. Rosanna felt her daed’s gaze and fought to muster the courage to look up into his face. When she did, her heart leaped. He was staring at Mollie. Little crinkles fanned out from his eyes, and his lips above his dark beard curved into the barest hint of a smile.

  “Do you think you can properly raise this little one?” His voice wasn’t nearly as loud or harsh as it had been a few moments ago.

  “I’ll do my best. That’s all I can do. With Gott’s help, I will be a gut mudder. Isn’t that the way every new parent feels? It’s new territory they’re entering, but they vow to love their kinner and to raise them to know and honor the Lord.” From the corner of her eye, she observed Sarah’s nod.

  Samuel continued to stare at Mollie. What seemed like eons later, he, too, nodded. “Well said, Dochder. We will all help you however we can.”

  A boulder lifted from Rosanna’s shoulders. She sniffed and gazed into her daed’s dark eyes. “Danki, Daed.” She shifted her glance to Sarah and raised her eyebrows.

  “We will support you.” She echoed her husband’s sentiments. “And we will love this little one.”

  “Now, let me hold our newest family member.” Samuel held out his arms.

  “Yippee!” Sadie squealed again. “We can keep the boppli!”

  “That means you aren’t the boppli of the family anymore,” Joseph pointed out.

  Sadie looked thoughtful for a moment. “That’s okay. It will be fun to have a real boppli in the house.”

  Rosanna set the nearly empty bottle on the table and raised the infant to her shoulder. She patted the little back as she stood. She rounded the table and placed Mollie in Samuel’s waiting arms.

  Immediately the burp Rosanna had been trying to coax out erupted, and Samuel laughed. “Do you feel better now, little one?” His smile broadened as he looked from Mollie to Sarah. “It’s right nice to have a newborn in the house again, ain’t so, Fraa?”

  * * *

  “I do hope you know what you’re doing,” Sarah whispered as she and Rosanna cleaned the kitchen. She’d sent Sadie and Katie into the living room after they had cleared the table.

  “You’d do the same thing, wouldn’t you, Mamm?”

  Sarah sighed. “I would.” She glanced toward the cradle where Mollie slept and then at the plate she’d nearly scrubbed the pattern from. “You’re young—”

  “Lots of girls my age already have a boppli,” Rosanna jumped in to remind her mamm.

  “I know, but they enjoyed their youth and had courtships before marriage. You are a mudder with responsibilities now, and you haven’t had a chance to have a courtship yet.”

  “That could still happen.” Couldn’t it?

  * * *

  A real chill had settled over the house during the night. Rosanna had crawled out of her warm bed several times in between feedings to make sure Mollie was snug in the cradle. Maybe she should have left the cradle downstairs near the woodstove, but then she would have had to sleep on the couch. Every time she checked, though, Mollie felt warm. Tobias had been so gut about carrying the cradle up and down the stairs for the past week. She smiled into the darkness. Little Mollie was one week and one day old. Rosanna was exhausted but happy.

  When the rooster crowed, she wanted nothing more than to pull the covers over her head and ignore his call, but since this was church Sunday, she would not have any time to spare. Last Sunday, an off day, she had stayed home with the newborn while her family visited others in the community. Today, though, she needed to get herself and Mollie ready and help get breakfast on the table. At least today she and Mamm would not be cooking their usual big morning meal. On Sundays, cold cereal and fruit were usually served. Of course, slices of bread could be smeared with jam or apple butter for anyone who didn’t get filled up on cereal.

  Rosanna almost drew her bare foot back under the covers when her toes first hit the cold floor. She felt around on the nightstand for the lamp and then danced across the room, hopping from one braided scatter rug to the other. She’d better get herself ready for the day while Mollie still slept.

  She heard a faint stirring and a sucking sound from the cradle as she pinned her white kapp into place. Mollie would want her bottle any minute. She wished she could nurse the boppli like she would have had she given birth, but that was certainly something that couldn’t be helped.

  Rosanna quickly changed the infant’s diaper and dressed her for the day. Assisting Mamm had given her confidence in handling newborns. She worked with deft fingers and hummed or cooed to Mollie the entire time. She still pinched herself to make sure Mollie wasn’t a figment of her imagination. She also still feared any sound outside would be Jane returning to claim her boppli. So far that hadn’t happened, but it had only been a little more than a week, even though it seemed Rosanna had been a mudder for much longer.

  She swaddled Mollie in a warm blanket, extinguished the lamp, and tiptoed across the room. If Mamm wasn’t up yet, she would have to stoke the fire and feed Mollie quickly so she could get the simple breakfast ready. Only necessary chores, like feeding the animals, would be done this morning, so Daed and her bruders wouldn’t be outside long. And the buwe were always ravenous.

  A glimmer of light streaming from the kitchen let Rosanna know Sarah was already bustling about. “Gut mariye, Mamm.” Rosanna hoped her voice didn’t give away how weary her body felt. “Let me feed Mollie, and then I’ll help.”

  “I think I can set out bowls and cereal without help.” Sarah peeked inside the blanket and smiled. “Go ahead and feed her so you can eat.”

  Rosanna scooped powdered formula into a bottle, added water, and screwed on the nipple. She shook the bottle vigorously to mix the contents. She had to send Tobias to the store yesterday to buy more formula since she didn’t want to use up her mamm’s emergency supply. She’d tried to explain what to look for but ended up ripping the label off the can she was using so he wouldn’t mess up his mission.

  Sarah shuffled to the doorway and hollered for Katie and Sadie and Ja
mes, who’d been allowed to sleep in since chores were few this morning. Rosanna listened to the thunder of feet overhead as she rocked and fed Mollie near the stove. It seemed her body always rocked now, even if she wasn’t sitting in a rocking chair with an infant in her arms. She hoped she could sit still during the three-hour church service.

  * * *

  Gray buggies already lined the driveway of the Bylers’ house by the time the Mast family arrived. Rosanna was glad the house was large enough to accommodate the congregation. Otherwise services would have been held in the big barn, which would have been much colder. Men in their black trousers and coats and black felt hats still stood in clumps outside, waiting to enter the house. Young people stamped around to keep warm as they chatted. Rosanna spotted many of her freinden huddled close together, their black bonnets nearly touching. Mudders kept little ones close to them to share their body heat.

  Rosanna glanced from group to group. Where did she belong now? A few days ago there wouldn’t have been any question. She would have hustled over to join the group of unmarried girls. Though still unmarried, she now had a boppli. Did she belong with her freinden or with the other mudders? It was too bad she hadn’t thought that through before this very moment. And what about this evening’s young folks’ singing? Could she still attend? She couldn’t very well show up with Mollie in her arms.

  Her eyes traveled to the group of young men, instantly picking out Henry Zook. Rosanna was absolutely certain that news of her situation had spread along the Amish grapevine faster than the speed of light. Surely Henry had heard. What did he think?

  She passed Mollie to Sarah while she climbed from the buggy and then held out her arms to take her back. Maybe it was her imagination, but Rosanna sensed many pairs of eyes boring into her back. Hopefully, everyone would welcome her little one into their fold as she had. Mollie was an absolutely adorable newborn. Who wouldn’t love her?

  As Rosanna turned around, she caught Henry’s eye. She offered her brightest smile, but he quickly averted his gaze. Maybe he was one person who would be reluctant to accept her boppli. Her smile evaporated. Katie and Sadie giggled as they raced to stand beside Rosanna. They rarely let Mollie out of their sight. They would be gut little aentis.

  “Why don’t you sit with us today?” Sarah said as she joined her dochders. The buwe and Daed hurried to join their appropriate groups. “That way these two won’t be twisting and turning to keep an eye on Mollie.”

  Rosanna exhaled the breath she’d been holding. She nodded. Leave it to Mamm to offer a solution. Would she ever be as wise as her mamm?

  Another gray buggy stopped, and the Hertzler family piled out. Mary Hertzler, whose kinner were all over the age of sixteen, couldn’t exit the buggy fast enough. She called out a greeting as she approached. “I heard about your newest family member, and I couldn’t wait to meet her.”

  Rosanna moved the blanket aside for a moment so Mary could peek at the boppli. “This is Mollie.”

  “Ach! What a beautiful little girl. Rosanna, I think you are doing a wunderbaar thing taking this little one on as your own. The Lord Gott has favored you with a special gift.”

  Rosanna smiled, and her heart warmed. Here was someone who felt the exact same way as she did. She pulled the blanket back over Mollie so she wouldn’t become chilled.

  “If ever you need someone to watch her—you know, if you and Sarah have a birth to attend or you simply need a little break—I would be more than happy to babysit. Any time of the day or night. I had all buwe, you know, so caring for a little girl would be pure delight.”

  “Danki, Mary. That is so kind.”

  “Maybe I could hold her later, jah?”

  “Of course.”

  “I can’t wait to hold a little one in my arms again. My kinner grew up much too fast.”

  As if on cue, four buwe ranging in age from nearly seventeen to twenty-four filed past. The last one, the tallest, stopped beside his mudder for a moment. “Gut mariye, Sarah and Rosanna. Hello there, girls. How is the boppli, Rosanna?” Paul leaned down to look at the bundle in Rosanna’s arms.

  She was surprised a young man would inquire about an infant. She raised the little flap on the blanket again, since Paul wanted a glimpse.

  “Jah, she is a beauty. I can see Mamm is already besotted.” Paul gave a low chuckle and squeezed Mary’s arm.

  “Go on with you.” Mary swatted at her oldest son but beamed at him. Mary’s love for her son was nearly palpable.

  “See you later.” Paul made a general statement, but he looked straight at Rosanna when he spoke.

  She felt her cheeks grow warm. What a nice fellow. He even spoke to Katie and Sadie. If her cheeks glowed as red as they felt, she’d have to blame it on the wind if asked. Just the same, she kept her head down as they proceeded into the house, group by group.

  Chapter Five

  Little Mollie had slept throughout the entire service. The singing and preaching had not caused her to stir one bit. Rosanna figured if the infant could sleep during the ruckus in her busy household, sleeping in church should be a piece of cake. There were moments during the past three hours when Rosanna had nearly joined Mollie in slumber. The occasional wiggling of Katie or Sadie, who sat on either side of her, kept her from giving in to the almost overwhelming urge to nap.

  Ordinarily she would have helped set food on the benches-turned-tables for the common meal after church. Today, though, she sat in the Bylers’ spare bedroom to feed Mollie. Even though she could sleep through assorted noises, hunger was an entirely different matter. The boppli definitely awoke to eat. Two other young mudders sat in the room with her to nurse their infants. Rosanna was pretty sure she looked as tired as the other women, even though she hadn’t physically given birth.

  The men had been served and had already donned their black coats and hats to escape to the barn by the time Mollie had finished her bottle. Rosanna would rather sleep right now than eat, but since that wasn’t an option, she shifted the infant to one arm while she plopped a slice of bread, a sliver of ham, and a piece of cheese onto a plate. Half of a sandwich would do just fine. She added a scoop of creamy coleslaw and a few bread-and-butter pickles to the plate before settling on the end of a bench.

  She supposed she could have put Mollie down to nap with the other young kinner, but Rosanna couldn’t bear to let Mollie out of her sight. What if the boppli wasn’t there when she returned for her? What if Jane crept into the house to steal her back?

  Rosanna shook her head. She had to relinquish her fears. Jane was not returning. The girl had made it clear she didn’t have any intention of being a mamm. How she had escaped from the community without being seen was a mystery to Rosanna. And they’d never heard a word from her. Rosanna had already contacted authorities about the adoption proceedings. Mollie was hers! As soon as she could make that completely legal, she’d breathe much easier. She hoped so, anyway. She nibbled at the corner of the sandwich she really didn’t have any interest in.

  “Let me hold the boppli while you finish eating. Then go join the youngies for a while. You need a little break, ain’t so?” Mary Hertzler smiled down at Rosanna.

  “I’m fine, Mary. You go ahead and eat.”

  “I’ve already eaten, and I’m itching to cuddle that little one.”

  Rosanna knew she could trust Mary but still felt reluctant to hand Mollie over. Besides, did she fit in with her peers? She was still unmarried, for sure and for certain, but she now was an unmarried mudder. The other girls didn’t have her responsibilities, and she didn’t want to appear to be shirking hers.

  “Here.” Mary held out her arms. “I’d be more than happy to relieve you for a spell. I promise that my hands are feeling much better, and I won’t drop her.”

  Rosanna couldn’t disappoint Mary, one of the sweetest souls on earth. She laid her sandwich on the plate and raised the sleeping infant to Mary’s waiting arms. “She just ate . . .”

  “Then she’ll be fine for a few hours. You e
at and catch up with freinden.”

  “I won’t be long.”

  “Take your time. I’ll enjoy every minute of holding this sweet girl.” Mary’s face fairly glowed as soon as she settled Mollie in her arms.

  She might not have given birth, but Rosanna’s innate nurturing instincts had kicked in immediately. Her eyes followed Mary as the older woman walked and cooed to Mollie. She forced herself to take one bite of coleslaw and to eat two pickles before giving up the attempt to eat. Should she approach the other girls, who had disappeared outside? From across the room, Mary smiled at her and made shooing motions with one hand. Maybe a tiny visit with the others would be all right.

  Reluctantly, Rosanna slipped into her black cloak and tied the black bonnet over her white kapp. She was torn between the desire to remain with her boppli and the urge to catch up with her freinden. She cast a final glance at Mollie, who still slept in Mary’s gently rocking arms.

  Some of the young people were already playing volleyball. They swatted at the ball and shouted at each other good-naturedly. Henry, she noticed, hadn’t joined in the game. Maybe he would kumm over to talk to her.

  “Gut shot!” a strong male voice encouraged.

  Rosanna turned toward the voice. Paul Hertzler, who stood at least a head taller than the bu in front of him, congratulated the other fellow on his play. The younger bu panted hard but beamed his appreciation. Paul probably could have knocked the ball over the net with very little effort, but he let the younger fellow shine. What a nice guy!

  Movement in her periphery shifted Rosanna’s focus. Henry shuffled along, but he was moving away from her rather than toward her. She sighed. He’d probably ignore her at the singing, too, so there wasn’t any use in thinking about attending. Besides, she had Mollie now and couldn’t be traipsing off on a whim.

  “Hi, Rosanna.”

  She had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Henry she hadn’t heard anyone approach. She whirled around. “Ach, Emma. Hi. It’s gut to see you.”

  “You’ve been busy, I hear.”