Rosanna's Gift

by Susan Lantz Simpson

  She didn’t know if she should back away quietly so Paul didn’t see her or if she should make her presence known. If she scooted right around the corner, she would still be able to hear Paul’s voice, but she wouldn’t cause him any embarrassment at being discovered singing. She found herself wanting to sing along but didn’t dare. Ever so slowly, she inched backward. The song broke off with the last notes suspended in the air.

  “Rosanna? Kumm on in.” Paul smiled. He didn’t appear the least bit flustered or embarrassed.

  “That was lovely.” Why did she feel flustered? She hadn’t been the one singing. As she drew a little closer, she could detect the rose-colored blush on Paul’s cheeks.

  “That was a song my mamm used to sing to us before bedtime or nap time. When I sat down to rock Mollie, the song came to me out of the blue.”

  “I liked it.” She didn’t add that she liked the sound of his voice. He could be singing a nonsense song in a foreign language and she would enjoy it. “Mollie liked the song, too.” The little girl’s gaze remained fixed on Paul’s face. “I don’t believe I know that song. You’ll have to teach it to me.”

  Paul smiled at Mollie before looking into Rosanna’s eyes. “I’d be happy to. I hope you don’t mind my holding Mollie. I know you expected to find Mamm here.”

  “I don’t mind at all. Did Mary leave?”

  “Nee. Miriam was banging things around so much in the kitchen and mumbling so loud, Mamm decided she should make sure everything was all right in there. I got the privilege of tending to Mollie.”

  “Maybe Miriam is nervous or worried.”

  “Maybe she’s just being Miriam,” Paul whispered with a wink.

  Rosanna giggled but put a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound.

  “How is Lydia? I thought I heard a cry upstairs.”

  “You did indeed. The newest member of the Zook family is a precious little girl.”

  “Wunderbaar! That should cheer Miriam up, unless she had her heart set on a bu.”

  “Lydia and Micah are certainly delighted with their dochder. When I gave Micah the news, his face lit up like a fireworks display on the Fourth of July. He couldn’t race up the stairs fast enough.”

  Paul chuckled. “Everyone is all right?”

  “They are fine.” Rosanna reached down to gently stroke Mollie’s soft pink cheek. She gasped when Paul grasped her hand and held on to it.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been by to visit lately. Things have been hopping at the store. Eli has kept me plenty busy. By the time I could have gotten cleaned up after work, it would have been too late to visit.” Paul tugged on Rosanna’s hand, pulling her a little closer. His already hushed tone became even quieter. “I hope you’ve been thinking about our last talk.”

  I’ve thought of practically nothing else.

  “I don’t want to rush you or anything, I only want to know that you’re considering my idea.”

  Idea? Plan? Deal? How about proposal? Was it silly of her to want a man to confess his undying love and to propose marriage instead of striking a deal? She knew Paul didn’t mean to sound like he was negotiating a bargain. He was not a cold, calculating person. A man who had just sung so sweetly to a boppli had to be sincere. Now he patiently waited for her response. Maybe her dreams were foolish, anyway. “I-I’ve been thinking about it.” About you. About us. Lord, help me!

  Rosanna cleared her throat. She had to change the subject. “I guess I should tell Miriam about the boppli. I wanted to give Micah and Lydia a few minutes alone with her.” She slipped her hand from his and was surprised to discover she missed the warmth and support the simple gesture provided.

  “That was smart thinking. I’m sure the new parents appreciated that.”

  “I-I’ll be right back. Danki for watching Mollie.”

  “It’s been my pleasure. I’m happy to do so anytime.”

  As Rosanna left the room, she heard Paul’s whisper. “All the time.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “What’s that you’re humming?”

  “Huh? Was I humming?” Rosanna glanced at her mamm before yanking open the door of the gas-powered refrigerator. She quickly stuck her head inside to rummage around for the potato salad and pickles. Maybe the cool air would douse the flames in her cheeks. She had been humming the song Paul sang to Mollie. It was a gut thing she didn’t know the words or Mamm might have caught her belting them out.

  “Jah, you were definitely humming.”

  Rosanna turned around quickly after backing away from the refrigerator. “I don’t know what the song was.” She scurried to the table to set out foods for a light supper. She and Sarah hadn’t been home for too long, but the rest of the family had been home all afternoon and would soon be anxious for food.

  “The tune sounded familiar, but I can’t place it.”

  Rosanna shrugged and sought out a new topic. “Do you think Miriam Zook is glad to have a little girl in the family?”

  Sarah chuckled. “It’s hard to tell with Miriam, but I’m sure she’ll be pleased with any boppli. I only hope she remembers that Micah and Lydia are the parents, not her.”

  “She does seem to rule the roost.”

  “Everyone’s roost.”

  “Mamm!”

  “I’m not trying to be mean. That’s the way Miriam is. Bossiness and sometimes downright surliness seem to be her nature.”

  “I wanted to cheer when Micah stood up for Lydia.”

  “A man should stand up for his fraa. I’m sure that came as a shock to Miriam, though.”

  Rosanna wondered if Paul would stand up for her. He wouldn’t need to as far as his mamm was concerned. Mary must be one of the sweetest people to walk the earth. Ach! What was she thinking?

  “Rosanna?”

  “I’m sorry, Mamm. Did you say something?”

  “Are you woolgathering?”

  “I guess I’m tired.”

  “Are you too tired to attend the singing tonight?”

  “I’m not planning to go. I told Tobias he didn’t have to worry about me tagging along with him. I told him he was free to take Emma home without having me sit beside them.”

  “Emma?”

  “Oops! Don’t mind me.”

  “Tobias is interested in Emma?”

  “Could be.” Rosanna pretended to zip her lips.

  “You know, I think it would be fine for you to go. I doubt anyone would be monitoring your activities on a Sunday evening.”

  “I don’t want to take any chances. Besides, I really am tired.”

  “It’s up to you. I don’t want you to pass up every opportunity to be among the young folks, though.”

  “Sometimes I don’t feel so young anymore.”

  “With Mollie sleeping through the night now, you should start to perk up a bit.”

  Jah, if I could turn my brain off at night so one thought didn’t compete with another. Images of Kandi snatching Mollie away from her pushed out memories of Paul holding Mollie and his talk of marriage. “Perking up would be a blessing, for sure and for certain.”

  “You sound like every other weary young mudder. Things do get easier.”

  “I suppose Lydia will be joining that club now. Do you think Miriam will stay and help her?”

  “She might stay around, but I don’t know how much help she will be.”

  “Mamm!” Rosanna pretended to be shocked but couldn’t resist giggling.

  Sarah sighed. “I must be tired, too.”

  * * *

  Rosanna rocked Mollie as she fed her what she hoped was the last bottle of the evening. Only the soft squeak of the rocking chair and the occasional crackle of the fire broke the silence in the room. Mamm, Daed, and all the younger kinner had gone to bed. Tobias hadn’t returned from the singing and probably wouldn’t be home for a while if he decided to take a certain someone home.

  The same tune that had played in Rosanna’s head all evening seeped out in a hushed tone as she rocked. She’d have to get Paul
to teach her the words. Paul. He had been in her thoughts all evening, too.

  He would never pressure her. That did not appear to be his way. But he did ask her a question that deserved an answer. The only thing was that she didn’t know what that answer should be. She liked Paul. Maybe she more than liked Paul. She certainly experienced a depth of emotions she hadn’t encountered with Henry Zook. Henry never made goose bumps dance up her arms if his fingers happened to brush hers. Henry never caused her breath to catch. Henry never made her heart sing.

  Did these things spell love? Rosanna set the empty bottle on the end table next to her and lifted the drowsy boppli to her shoulder. She gently patted the little back as she rocked and hummed. She sure loved this wee one. If she had to give Mollie up, there would be a hole in her heart that would never mend. She would not spoil this evening by letting that worry take over.

  Mollie’s head plunked down on Rosanna’s shoulder and her tiny body went limp. Rosanna continued to rock even though the infant had succumbed to sleep. Holding Mollie close and thinking about Paul were pleasant ways to end the day. Thoughts of Paul had become more frequent and brought more and more pleasure. The next time she saw him she’d give him some sort of answer. She couldn’t keep making him wait. Now, if she could ease herself out of the rocking chair, she’d tiptoe upstairs to tuck Mollie into her crib and crawl into her own bed.

  A flash of light outside startled Rosanna out of her drowsy state. It was winter, so that couldn’t have been lightning. Oh, they’d had thunderstorms in winter in Southern Maryland before, but the day had been much too cold and blustery for that. She rubbed her eyes. It must have been her tired eyes playing tricks on her, or maybe Tobias had returned and was swinging a flashlight as he walked from the barn to the house. Her humming and rocking must have kept her from hearing any outside sounds. She sat perfectly still and fixed her eyes on the window. She’d wait a moment longer before resuming her plan to go to bed.

  There. The light shone again. Not lightning at all. Someone stood outside flashing a light. The light wasn’t moving toward the door, so it must not be Tobias. It was stationary, shining in only one direction, and that was toward her window. A sound of something tapping against the house caused her to jump. The person had thrown something at the house. Pebbles?

  * * *

  He’d toss one more handful of pebbles and then give up. He didn’t want to awaken the entire household. As it was, only a dim glow shone through the front room windows. He didn’t want to draw that person outside, either. He mentally counted the upstairs windows. He didn’t want to frighten the little girls, and he sure didn’t want to be tossing pebbles at Tobias’ window. Tobias should still be at the singing, unless he had come home early. Jah, that should be Rosanna’s window he’d been shining his flashlight toward.

  Paul wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing here tonight. After all, he had seen Rosanna earlier, and she didn’t have an answer for him. He didn’t want to be a pest or seem demanding. But something had compelled him to hitch up his horse and drive to the Mast house tonight. He couldn’t explain it even to himself.

  Maybe Rosanna was busy with Mollie or wasn’t even in her room at all. Or maybe she had been so exhausted she had dropped into a sleep so sound she wouldn’t hear a dump truck crash against the side of the house. He had only wanted to see her for a few minutes, to hear her voice briefly before crawling into his bed and dreaming of her. He’d even enjoy rocking Mollie again and helping Rosanna put her to bed.

  That sure was a special little girl! She tugged at his heartstrings as much as her mudder did. He’d do anything for either of them. Somehow he needed to make Rosanna understand that. He had certainly bungled his marriage offer. Rosanna probably thought he had suggested a business deal they could shake hands on instead of a commitment based on love and respect they could seal with a kiss. He drew back his arm to toss his final handful of pebbles.

  * * *

  “Paul?”

  Rosanna had laid Mollie in the cradle in the living room so she could investigate whatever or whoever was causing the strange happenings outside. From the height of the silhouette, she assumed the perpetrator was Paul. The shadowy figure crossed the yard toward the front porch, where she leaned over the rail.

  “That was you in the front room?”

  “Jah. Everyone else has gone to bed. Well, everyone except Tobias. He hasn’t gotten home yet. I was sitting by the stove rocking Mollie.”

  “I hope I didn’t wake her.”

  “Nee. She dropped off to sleep after she finished her bottle. I just couldn’t seem to get out of the chair and go to bed.”

  “I’m sorry. You’re probably very tired.”

  “I was thinking and enjoying holding Mollie.” Rosanna didn’t say she wanted to spend every second she could making memories to last a lifetime in case Mollie was taken from her. She gave a little laugh. “And I keep humming that song you sang to her. I need you to teach me the words.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Would you like to kumm inside? It is a bit nippy out here.” She rubbed her hands up and down her arms to ward off the chill.

  Paul climbed the steps and stopped beside her, nearly touching her. “Sure, if you don’t mind. I promise not to stay long. I know you had a busy day, even if it was Sunday.”

  “Jah, who would have thought Lydia’s boppli would pick the Lord’s day, and a church day at that, to enter the world?”

  “I’m no expert, but I guess when it’s time, it’s time.”

  Rosanna laughed. “You’re right about that. And Lydia’s little one was definitely ready. That was one of the quickest births I’ve seen.” The warmth of the living room beckoned. Rosanna closed the door softly behind Paul and led the way to the stove. Why had he shown up tonight playing the role of suitor? “Would you like something hot to drink?”

  “I’m fine.” Paul tiptoed across the room to peek into the cradle. “She looks like a little angel.”

  “I think so, but I’m probably prejudiced. I just laid her in the cradle to investigate the strange goings-on outside.” There. She had given him an opening to explain his actions.

  “I hope I didn’t scare you.”

  “I was more confused than scared. I saw a light and then heard scratchy sounds. At first I thought I’d fallen asleep and was dreaming.”

  Paul turned away from the cradle to look down at Rosanna. “If you’d known it was me outside, would it have been a gut dream or a nightmare?”

  The lamplight flickering in Paul’s hazel eyes mesmerized Rosanna. She thought Paul had asked her a question. She needed to reply if she could claw her way out of the deep well she’d tumbled into.

  “Never mind.”

  An unidentifiable emotion crossed Paul’s face before he averted his gaze. Was it pain, confusion, regret, or disappointment? Or was it a little of each? Snap out of it, girl! “I’m sorry, Paul. I heard you. My brain kind of took a hike or something. If I had been dreaming that you were outside, it definitely would not have been a nightmare.”

  His face brightened enough to rival the lamplight, and a grin spread from ear to ear. “Really?”

  Rosanna smiled at his enthusiasm and obvious relief. Her earlier fatigue had vanished. “Why don’t we sit down, unless you’d like a snack?”

  “We can sit if you’re sure you don’t want to grab a few minutes of sleep while Mollie is asleep.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Okay.” Almost hesitantly, Paul reached out to take Rosanna’s hand. He tugged her toward the sofa and waited for her to sit. When she was situated, he lowered himself to sit close but not touching, all except for the hand he reclaimed when he sat.

  Rosanna would be picking her nails right now if one of her hands hadn’t been intertwined with one of Paul’s. She needed to ask him if he meant this visit to be the start of a courtship, yet she hesitated to ask. If he said that was his intention, what would she say? Her heart raced. Is that what she wanted? If he said courtship
was not his intention, how would she feel? Relieved? Disappointed? Hurt? Her heart thumped harder. “Paul?”

  “Jah?”

  “You shined a light in my window tonight. Do you . . . is this . . . well, exactly what is on your mind?” Rosanna slumped back, her head bumping the wall behind her. She chomped on her tongue and wished she had chomped on it a few minutes earlier so it hadn’t been able to ask that question. What must Paul think of her? What would he say? She held her breath.

  He squeezed her hand and chuckled softly. “I suppose I was being impatient.”

  “You? I doubt it.”

  “I told you to take your time thinking about what I asked before, but I think I went about everything all wrong.”

  Fear wrung Rosanna’s heart. Did Paul mean he made a mistake with his offer of marriage? Why did that thought make her feel incredibly sad? Her eyes and nose burned. She waited for him to continue, knowing her own voice would catch on a sob if she tried to speak.

  “I didn’t mean to sound like I only wanted to marry you to improve your chance of keeping Mollie.” Paul squirmed. “I do want you to keep her, but I’d like you to consider me as someone you could spend your life with.”

  “What if I lose Mollie? Then you’d be stuck with me.”

  Paul laughed. “I wouldn’t consider that a hardship. You see, Rosanna, I care about you. I’ve cared about you for a long time. Before Mollie, even. When I thought you planned to step out with Henry, I kicked myself every day for not having the nerve to tell you how I feel.”

  “You were interested months and months ago?” Either he had kept his feelings well hidden or she was not very astute. She supposed she had been pretty preoccupied with her thoughts of Henry. And then Mollie had kumm along and turned her world upside down—but in a gut way. A wunderbaar way.

  “Even longer.”

  “Y-you never said anything.”

  “Like a dummchen, I hesitated. I almost lost you. I’m not hesitating any longer. Rosanna, could you possibly allow me to court you? We can take things as slow as you like. I only need to know if I can hope you might one day be my fraa and Mollie will be my dochder.”