by Lexi Wilson
“I need to talk to you, but you’re clearly avoiding me. So I came to where I knew you were,” I explained. “I have to tell you what happened.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said. “In fact, I never want to see you again!”
“I’m not going to accept the breakup,” I told her. “I’m not going to let you just walk away like this was nothing.”
“You are officially overstepping the line,” she replied. “This is crazy. I broke up with you, and you have got to get out of here.”
I reached forward, taking her arm and pulling her along with me. “I need to talk to you, and I’m not going to do it in front of your roommate. Come on.”
“Stop!” Kira stepped forward, doing her best to separate us. She tried to push me away from her friend, but I merely pushed her off me. I wasn’t going to let her come between us when I was hanging on by a thread. I had to talk to Zia, and I didn’t care what Kira had to say about it.
“Leave me alone!” Zia snapped. “I’m not going anywhere with you!”
“You’re coming to the house, and you’re going to talk to me,” I said. “I don’t care if you want to break up or not, but you’re going to have to have the guts to do it to my face. I’m not going to stand for you just throwing this away in text message!”
“I can break up with you to your face right here!” Zia announced. “We’re done! How do you like that? Better? Now you can go feel sorry for yourself for lying to me and for not telling me that you were a professor at the school I told you I was going to attend! This is all your fault, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise!”
“We’re going to talk about this!” I said again. I knew she was going to make a scene the whole way to the car, but I hoped she wasn’t going to make it too loud. I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone else, and with Kira still spewing out threats in the other room, I knew it was going to have to be quick.
But I wasn’t going to walk away without getting to talk to her. I had to explain, and I had to get closure. She could freak out all she wanted, but we shared something more than I had with any other woman in my entire life.
I was going to talk to her, and if she still wanted to go, then that was her choice. But she was going to have to tell me directly, and she was going to have to tell me when she wasn’t being egged on by her roommate.
As far as I was concerned, this was an issue that was between me and Zia alone. The school might try to get involved, but that would be something I could deal with then. For now, I was going to only focus on the fact that I wasn’t going to give up on what I had with this girl that easily.
I was going to talk to her, and I was going to get the answers I wanted. On top of that, I was going to tell her what I wanted her to know, and I was going to get the chance to say my piece.
I was used to getting what I wanted, and I wasn’t going to give up on that because of the fact she was pissed off at me.
I opened my door and pushed her into the car, then I got into the driver’s seat. She had the chance to get back out and run if she really wanted to go, but she sat there with her arms folded, pissed off but still sitting there and listening to me.
But I wasn’t going to talk there. We had to be at my place. I had to have total privacy.
I had to have her full attention.
And I’d get it.
Chapter 21
Zia
I sat in silence in the passenger seat of the car, my arms folded over my chest the entire time, my eyes fixated on the road in front of us. I didn’t want to talk to Josiah. I wasn’t going to answer anything he had to say to me, and I really didn’t care what his excuse was for lying to me.
The fact of the matter was that he had lied, and I wasn’t ever going to be able to trust him again. I didn’t want to even be in the same building he was in, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the school year knowing what I did about him.
I didn’t know what he was hoping would happen in lying to me. Did he think that we could actually be together? Did he think I wasn’t going to figure it out? Did he just not care about the fact that I was falling in love with him and he knew all along we weren’t going to be together?
With all the questions running through my mind, it was hard for me not to blow up at him, but I felt silence was the best way to go about it. I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him by yelling. He wasn’t going to change who he was, and I wasn’t going to stop going to school for the sake of dating him.
It broke my heart to think that he would do something so cruel to me, but he had, and now it was time for me to move on. With Kira’s support, I knew I could make it through this, but I wasn’t sure how. I wasn’t sure whether I would ever be able to trust another man again. I felt like my heart had been shattered, and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to make it better.
We got to the house, and I reluctantly followed Josiah inside. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I had a feeling he wasn’t going to take me home until he got the chance to say what he wanted to say, and I didn’t have my phone on me to call for Kira to come get me.
I was a captive audience until he said his piece, and I’d just have to put up with it.
Once we were inside, however, I let loose on him all over again. In the back of my mind, I still knew it wasn’t going to get me anywhere, but I wasn’t going to just stand there and let him talk as though I had no say in this.
“What part of we’re breaking up didn’t you understand?” I snapped. “Don’t you get it? We’re done!”
“I told you I’m not going to accept that breakup,” he said. “And I’m not going to let you throw this all away just because you’re pissed off.”
“I’m not throwing it away because I’m pissed off,” I said. “I’m breaking up with the man who lied to me – who kept his true self from me for the entire time we were together, and who broke my heart by not telling me what I should have known from the beginning!”
“Zia,” he started, but I cut him off.
“I don’t care what you have to say! I don’t want to talk to you! I want you to take me back home, and I’m not going to stop yelling at you until you do!” I folded my arms back over my chest, my entire body rigid and tense. I was breathing hard, and I felt hot, but there was also a lump forming in my throat. I was so pissed off at him I could have broken down in tears, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me so upset over something he had done.
I made up my mind he was a player, and he didn’t care about anyone but himself. I had to be just another pawn in his sick game, and now that he had me, he was done with me. But I wasn’t going to let him see how much he hurt me. I wasn’t going to give him any of that satisfaction.
He wasn’t worth crying over, so I would do it when I was in the privacy of my own room, safe from his sight and out of his reach.
He walked over to me, his eyes filled with lust. I hated the way my body responded when he looked at me that way. It was a look he had given me a lot over the past month we were together, and each time, I grew wet almost immediately.
And today was no exception.
I felt the desire well up inside me, and I knew I wanted him. Despite the fact I was still pissed off at him, despite the fact I was hurt by what he had done to me, I still wanted him. And he knew it, too. He knew he had me right where he wanted me, and as he stood practically over top of me, he leaned in.
“I didn’t bring you here so we could talk,” he whispered, his voice full of heat. It was a turn on, that was for sure, and a shudder ran through my body. It was sensual, it was hot, and it turned me on more than I could say. Everything he did was a turn-on to me, and I found myself willing to forgive just about anything he could ever do.
He wrapped his hand around the back of my head before pressing his lips to mine, sending a jolt through my body. It was all he needed to do to have me right where he wanted me, but more than that, to put me right where I wanted to be as well.
; I knew I missed him, but I hadn’t thought that I missed him that much, and when our lips touched, I realized just how much I was hurting, just how much I wanted to have him back.
All the doubt that I’d had, all the pain that I’d felt in the past few days, all the worry about what could happen and what might be all flooded out of me as though he had cured me of some terrible sickness that had taken hold of my heart.
I kissed him back with a passion, and the longer we kissed, the more our lust for each other grew. I knew that I wanted to be with him, and I knew as bad of an idea as it was, I would be willing to risk it for the sake of love. I didn’t know how I was going to explain this to Kira, but in the heat of the moment, I didn’t care, either.
All I wanted was to have him inside me. I grabbed at his t-shirt, letting him pull mine off before he unclasped my bra and let it fall to the ground as well. We kissed with a feverish intensity, bouncing off the walls as we made our way through the hall and toward his bedroom.
My eyes felt as though they were brimming over with tears, but I knew I was happy. I wanted him, and right now, I felt as though I might have the chance to have him back in my life. I didn’t know how, but I didn’t care. He loved me. That was clear. He had come for me, and he wasn’t going to let me go. I trusted him, and I wanted to give myself to him once more.
We tumbled onto the bed together, both of us completely naked. He ran his hands over my body, a hunger in his touch as though this was the first time we had ever been together. My mouth explored his body in much the same frenzy, both of us wanting each other more and more with each passing second.
As he pushed his hard cock inside me, I felt a fire burning between my legs, as though he had reigniting a passion in me that I thought was gone forever. I knew no one else would be able to do that to me. No one else would be able to make me feel as though I was the only person they cared about in their life.
No one else would be able to make me do anything for them the way Josiah could get me to do anything for him. I would put it all on the line if I could be with him. I knew it was a bad idea. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was this moment. All I cared about was his cock sliding in and out of me, his body moving over mine as I rocked on the bed beneath him, our bodies moving in perfect harmony.
It was as though we were made for each other, moving together in a dance that could only be done between the two of us. It was impossible to see where one of us started and the other stopped. We were one, and I knew this is what I wanted more than anything else in life.
This was the one thing I could count on that would bring us together always. He was my first, and I wanted him to be my one and only. With each thrust, both of us were being driven closer to orgasm, and I knew we were going to cum close to the same time.
It had only happened once before, but it was the hottest thing I had ever done, and I wanted it to happen again. We moved together on the bed, but I watched his face, I waited until I knew he was about to cum.
“Are you close?” he whispered, leaning his forehead down to touch mine.
“I want to cum together,” I whispered back. “I want you to fill me as I explode with pleasure.”
He smiled, thrusting into me harder and faster, pushing me closer and closer to my own climax, but getting there himself just as quickly. He knew what he was doing in bed, and I knew he was going to cum at the same time. He was going to give me that because that’s what I wanted.
That’s how Josiah was. He would do things for me because he loved me.
As he came, I cried out with pleasure, my own orgasm running through my veins.
All the anger I had toward him was gone, and instead was just the satisfaction of being with him again. This was right. How could anything that felt so good be wrong, after all?
I would know if this was a mistake, and I would avoid doing it if it was. But as he pulled out of me and fell on the sheets, and as I crawled to lay my head on his chest, I knew that I had to do what was right for me, even if it wasn’t what anyone else thought I should be doing.
I wasn’t always a good girl, and I was willing to put my prudish ways aside if it meant I could have Josiah back in my life. After all, he was good at keeping secrets, and I could be, too. No one had to know about us; it was no one else’s business.
All that mattered was that we were happy, that I was happy.
And I was. Josiah could do that for me.
Chapter 22
Josiah
“Look, I get it if you need a bit more time to process all this, but I just want you to know I’m here for you if you need anything,” I said.
Zia hadn’t said much that morning. I hoped that the fact she slept with me so readily again meant that it wasn’t over between us, but she hadn’t said more than two words to me all morning, and I was getting worried.
“I know this goes without saying, but you can’t be telling anyone about this, okay?” I said. “I know it’s not fair for me to ask that of you, but it’s for the best. I mean, you have to be smart about this, okay?”
Zia said nothing even then, and I sighed. I wanted her to answer me, but I refused to lose my temper with her. I knew I was on thin ice with her as it was, but I wanted to at least know what was going on in her head.
“I know you already told Kira. The way she treated me when I was at the door last night tells me that she knows. But promise me you aren’t going to tell anyone else, okay?” I asked. I waited for her to respond, but she said nothing, and I pulled off the road.
“Why are we stopping?” she asked. It was the first thing she had said during the whole ride back to her place, and I wanted to make a comment about it, but I bit my tongue. If I was going to have a shot of working this out with her, then I was going to have to choose my battles.
“I can’t take you all the way to your place or someone could see us,” I replied. “This is only a couple blocks away, and it’s nice out. I’ll see you later, okay?”
She opened the door and slid out of the car, then closed it a little harder than I would have liked. But I wasn’t going to say anything about it even then. I just wanted to have her reassurance she wasn’t going to tell anyone about the night before or about anything else we had been doing. Since she wouldn’t speak to me that morning, I didn’t know if there was a chance of us staying together, or if that was the last I was going to have her in my bed.
I wasn’t used to being the one who didn’t have the answer and wanting it from someone. Any woman I had dated before had all but thrown herself at me, and she had been the one to ask me where she stood. Zia wasn’t like that. She wasn’t like any woman I had been with before, and I didn’t want to lose her.
But there was a part of me that was already afraid that I had.
With a sigh, I pulled away from the curb and headed toward the coffee shop. I was relieved to know she wasn’t working, but I still wanted a coffee to pick me up and get me going for the day. It was going to be a long one, that was for sure.
Not only did I have to get through teaching a lecture, but I had a lot of paperwork waiting for me when I got back to the office. It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t so stressed out about how things were going with Zia, but since they were so bad, I knew most of my energy would be going to figuring out how to fix that.
It was frustrating, but there wasn’t any way I could push it. I had to wait for her to come to me at this point. It would be crazy for me to go back to her apartment like I had the night before, and I wasn’t going to pay her any special attention when I was in class.
It was just a matter of letting her miss me – and miss what she could have when she was with me. If she were to tell anyone, then it was going to take it all away with no chance of it ever continuing. But if she were to keep quiet, then we might be able to make this work.
I didn’t know why I was even thinking in that way, but I didn’t want to question it, either. I just wanted to focus on getting through the school d
ay then forgetting about everything. Hopefully Zia would come around. Hopefully she would see the value in what we had and realize that it was better to just keep quiet about it and forget telling anyone.
Hopefully she would stay with me and we could keep this going – and we could figure it out in the future. I didn’t take work home, and I didn’t bring my home life to work. This could be possible if we were careful.
We just had to be careful.
“Come in!” I called out.
A loud knock on my office door tore my attention away from the papers I was organizing, and I looked up to see Kira come bursting into the room.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she snapped. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from my friend?”
“She came with me, and if she told you anything about last night, then she also told you that it was entirely consensual,” I said simply. “She’s an adult, and she’s free to make her own choices, Kira.”
“You’re a monster,” she announced. “I know Zia, and she’s naïve. She’s bound to fall for you time and time again, only to have you hurt her over and over. I can’t believe you’re putting her in this position! You know what could happen if someone found out about this!”
“Can you please keep your voice down?” I asked, trying to remain calm. I liked Kira less and less each time I crossed paths with her, but I tried to remind myself she was just doing this because she was worried about her friend. She cared about Zia, and she was trying to do what was best for her.
“Don’t tell me to keep my voice down!” she snapped. “I’m going to tell you straight, you better not hurt her again, or I’m going to tell everyone your little secret. I’ll go straight to the dean and let him know that you were seducing Zia for your own gain, and I’ll make sure you get thrown out of this school and every other school a hundred times over before she even comes close to getting into trouble for you!”