Reflections

by Reflections (epub)

  Bettany yanked open the door. ‘I do have the perception to realize that,’ she uttered curtly, her nostrils still flaring. ‘I saw for myself how respectable and pleasant the inhabitants of Portcowl seem to be, although certain people are above themselves. I thank you for your concern, Miss Tresaile, and please pass on to your mother that I appreciated all her kindness to me. What I meant downstairs was that I’ve had quite enough of this place altogether. I’ve made a mistake. It’s as simple as that. If you have any feelings for me at all you will refrain from any more explanations, and certainly not embark on questioning me. Now, I am asking you a great favour, to telephone for a taxicab. I wish to leave in the hour. You need not trouble informing the vicar,’ she ended at last with tears in her eyes. ‘He has not followed me up here. I’m sure he would prefer to comfort his flock.’

  ‘Weren’t no need for her to run off like some highly strung filly,’ Gabby bawled, silencing the hubbub and anger hurled at her.

  ‘Leave my house this moment, Miss Magor,’ Jacob ordered furiously, taking advantage of the uneasy hush. He was forced to keep his wrath in check, not wanting to add to the distress. ‘How dare you come here and upset my fiancée and the event the village has been looking forward to for weeks. And there are children here. You are guilty of the most insulting behaviour. People have worked very hard to make today a success and you have not offered your services to help. I shall escort you to the door myself, and then I shall have the task of trying to retrieve the afternoon.’

  ‘But I’ve got something else to say,’ Gabby leered, standing her ground.

  ‘This is not the time and place to say whatever it is. No one wants to hear it.’ Jacob marched up to her. ‘Come with me, now.’

  ‘You sure no one wants to hear, vicar? From the look of some faces here I be’lieve they do. Everyone loves a bit of scandal, and ’tis scandal I’ve got to tell. Heard it myself on a nearby beach.’ Gabby’s bleary eyes fell on Stuart and Connie, who had huddled Louis and Martha to them and had put their hands over the children’s ears, as other outraged parents had done to their offspring. Gabby was disappointed Beth Tresaile had hurried away for she would have stared at her too, but the Copelands should get the message that she had overheard something of a scandalous nature on Mor Penty beach about them. Today she’d had the most fun of her life. On leaving here she would fetch Tickle from Craze Wyn then go straight to Barbara and tell her all about it and they could plan what they would have to look forward to. Two hundred pounds would do nicely.

  ‘All right,’ sneered Gabby, ‘I’m going. Don’t want to spoil the day for them here who’ve got nothing on their conscience.’ She barged her way out of the room, people scurrying back out of her way, as if in fear a mere touch from her would taint them with her vile odours.

  ‘What was that all about?’ Stuart hissed in Connie’s ear. ‘Why did she stare at us like that?’

  Connie’s voice trembled. ‘Can’t tell you now. Let me go out there and find Beth. I need to talk to her urgently.’

  Fifteen

  ‘How are you ever going to face Mark again?’ Kitty laughed. In her silk pyjamas, she was lying on her front on Beth’s bed, the following morning.

  ‘It’s not funny, Kitty,’ Beth said, sitting at her dressing table. Her eyes were heavily shadowed from lack of sleep but she wasn’t worried about that, or the fact that her bobbed fair hair was sticking out at odd angles and would probably refuse to lay flat and neat all day. ‘You couldn’t find a more private person than Mark. He must have been horrified to hear that vile woman saying such a thing in public.’

  ‘But you’ve admitted you said something of the kind to Connie about Mark being your love interest. It’s awful that Gabby overheard you, but you wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.’

  ‘It isn’t!’ Beth stressed, hating it that she was blushing. She hoped Kitty wouldn’t see she had a lot more to hide, and a lot of fear. ‘I like Mark, of course I do. He’s a good man, but I don’t see him in that way.’

  Laughing gaily, Kitty persisted. ‘Don’t be coy, you silly. You can’t really tell me that, or Connie wouldn’t have got the idea that you and Mark were having a romance, would she?’

  ‘I suppose not,’ Beth sighed. This was dreadful. Kitty loved intrigues, she was one of the most curious people on earth and she would dig away until she had stripped a subject bare. Beth had to be extra careful with every word she said to Kitty. She had to keep up the pretence she was presently suffering nothing more than embarrassment. Thank goodness Kitty didn’t appear to know that Connie had found her in the vicar’s study, making the telephone call for Miss Howard-Leigh’s taxicab, and had engaged her in a frantic conversation.

  ‘Go on, no more holding back. We’re best friends remember. I know you through and through. Explain,’ Kitty ended in mock drama. ‘What exactly did you say about Mark to Connie? And before you try any more denials, lady, I’ve actually seen you giving the handsome gardener more than a second look.’

  Beth secretly took a deep breath. She whipped up a similar jaunty look to Kitty’s and swung round to her and put on the same joking voice. ‘Connie and I were talking on the beach about the garden at Mor Penty, the day we all went there, and I mentioned that Mark looked after it for me. She said he was good looking and I agreed, rather enthusiastically to my own surprise. She speculated on the possibility of me forming a romance with Mark. I merely said he was a very pleasant man and admitted I’d looked closely at Mark once or twice. Gabby Magor obviously overheard and put two and two together, but, and I stress but, Kitty, she got the wrong sum. Mark and I have absolutely nothing in common. No one could say Mark has ever given me any extra attention. It’s one of those really silly things, and has now turned into a major embarrassment for Mark and I. He left the tea party the instant Rowella had pulled a prize out of the bran tub.’ Beth was glad of an excuse to become serious. ‘Now I’m worried he’ll stop doing the gardening for Mum and me. That would be awful for Mum. And I’ve yet to face Mrs Reseigh when she comes here on Monday morning. Oh, I could wring that wretched Magor woman’s neck!’

  Kitty sat up on the bed and drew her knees in under her chin. ‘Yes, I see all that. Mark feeling he couldn’t work here again would be unfortunate and give the gossips more room to talk about you both. No, I’m sure he wouldn’t do that. Mark is not a coward. He probably won’t say anything at all, to anyone.’ Kitty arrowed a look of reproach at Beth, ‘What I want to know is why you’ve spoken about Mark to Connie but not said a word to me.’

  Tension made Beth’s head ache and she rubbed her brow. Kitty’s resentment and distrust of Connie was making her jealous of anything that passed between Beth and her sister-in-law. ‘Oh, it’s just a subject to prevent us both discussing her and Stuart, I suppose. Her marriage is private to them. I certainly don’t want to get involved in it. I’ll be glad when they’ve left Mor Penty and have gone home. I can’t see that them staying around here any longer would be of any benefit to them and the children.’ It was with great relief Beth saw Kitty smile at her with understanding.

  ‘This has all been rather a trial for you,’ Kitty said apologetically. ‘I shouldn’t have asked you to allow Stuart to use your home. Sorry about that. Actually I don’t think Stuart will want to stay on. The family are coming over here later today and I’m fairly sure they will announce they’ll soon be catching the train home. Can I borrow your car to run them to the station?’

  ‘Of course.’ Kitty’s family leaving today would suit Beth even better.

  ‘Actually, I’m rather proud of Louis. Oh, I know he was very naughty, well, dreadfully naughty to steal from his mother’s purse, but it’s no wonder he’d do something so bad after all he’s been put through. I think it was rather clever of him to ask Gabby Magor to get him a puppy. She’s the adult, she should never have agreed, and when he explained to her on the beach that he no longer needed a puppy because his parents were going to get him one, she shouldn’t have demanded the money off hi
m, scaring him, and again in public too. When I think of her poking her ugly disgusting face into Louis’s camp I could cheerfully wring her neck myself!’

  ‘And she drove poor Miss Howard-Leigh away,’ Beth added, with equal indignation, taking the subject away from Kitty’s family. ‘That woman has got a lot to answer for.’

  ‘The Reverend Benedict didn’t even know she had gone until the tea party was over. He must be feeling very foolish for having declared it a success at the end.’

  ‘He didn’t even go after her to see how badly Gabby Magor had upset her or to try to coax her to return to the event. He’s an excellent vicar to his flock but the most inattentive fiancé. He should take a leaf out of Rob and Alfie’s book. They weren’t at all shy about showing how much they’re in love with Evie and Alison.’

  ‘You have a valid point, Beth, but I think Miss Howard-Leigh came across as a spoiled madam. How could she allow Gabby to disconcert her so, and then go on to make a spectacle of herself, running out like a petulant child? She didn’t care any more than Gabby did that there were excited little children there and the adults had turned up hoping for a grand happy occasion. The people are used to Gabby’s troublemaking. Now they’re all saying that Miss Howard-Leigh wouldn’t make a suitable vicar’s wife at all. She made it quite apparent she didn’t care in the slightest for Portcowl and its inhabitants. No, she’s drawing room material only, and if she refuses to be reconciled with Mr Benedict, then I say he’s had a lucky escape.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ Beth mumbled, tweaking at her wayward hair, her own troubles overwhelming the concerns at the vicarage. ‘Oh, this stupid hair of mine. Well, never mind. We had better get dressed and go down and get breakfast if we’re going to be ready in time for the morning service. The church will be filled with a few nosy parkers hoping to learn more about yesterday’s drama, no doubt.’ As she had hoped, Kitty left for her own room to get ready.

  Sometime today Beth would have to slip away alone – which would raise eyebrows at not inviting anyone to go for a walk with her – and go to Claze Wyn. It was either that or to wait in trepidation for Gabby to pounce on her. Beth had never been to Claze Wyn, likened to worse than a pigsty. It was off the beaten track, and she had only a rough idea where it was. Joe had spied on Gabby Magor many times to ensure she wasn’t mistreating any animals, and from his descriptions of the place, Beth knew she was in for a rough muddy trek. From Connie’s anxious account of what Gabby had hinted at yesterday, and Gabby’s smirking looks at Connie, she had overheard all Beth’s and Connie’s guilty secrets. Beth could choose to ignore it and when, inevitably, Gabby blurted out the information to all and sundry, Beth could try to bluff that it was Gabby’s word against hers. Gabby was a notorious liar. But searching questions would be asked. The truth would be rooted out or revealed one way or another. There was going to be a cost. Gabby would demand money to keep her blabbing mouth shut. Blackmail was an ugly business. It would taint the rest of Beth’s life. The alternative, however, would be infinitely worse.

  Resting her elbows on the dressing table Beth put her head in her hands and fought back a wave of tears. She felt cold and clammy. And sick with worry. She had been so happy in her new life, the wonderful year she had spent united with her mother, and enjoying her life in Cornwall, with Evie, Joe and her uncle Ken. Be sure your sins will find you out. Jacob Benedict had preached the sentence in a sermon, and Beth had shifted uncomfortably in the front pew. ‘I’m sorry God, really sorry. Please don’t ever let my past sins be revealed. I might deserve all the hurt that would come my way but the others don’t,’ she whispered. But God might want to force her to face up to her sordid actions and lies.

  ‘Please God,’ she wept quietly. ‘Kitty and Louis and Martha don’t deserve all the heartbreak the truth would give them. And my mother and Joe would be horrified with me for the scandal it would cause in Portcowl. They would lose all respect because of me. Evie and Uncle Ken would understand I’m sure but it would be embarrassing for them. And Mark, I can get round this silly romance thing if I barely take any notice of him, as I’m sure he will me, and it should all be soon forgotten, but I really don’t want him to think badly of me, or Mrs Reseigh, or the rest of Portcowl.’

  A strange gentle hush fell over Beth, like softly falling flower petals; it was almost a tangible thing… Her tears stayed wet on her face but a calm entered her whole being. What was this? She waited expectantly. Something was coming to help her. No, it was someone. She felt some help. Then came a smell familiar to her, of the most tender and softest and most gentle thing on earth. It was one of the most fragrant evocative smells on earth to a woman, the scent of a baby. Beth knew at once who it was. Her twin brother Philip had been born and had died shortly afterwards in this house.

  ‘Philip? Hello, Philip.’

  In the reflection in the dressing table mirror a shadow moved, not of someone so very small, but an adult male equivalent of Beth herself. While she gazed in wonder and love at the form of her twin brother, Beth listened to him in her heart. ‘I understand,’ she whispered. She wanted so much to turn round in the hope of getting a clearer view of Philip but knew she would see nothing at all. And she knew his image would be in the mirror for only as long as his purpose for appearing to her lasted.

  Her heart cried out in a moment of painful loss when a mist covered the place where Philip’s reflection had been. ‘Goodbye, Philip,’ she whispered.

  Philip’s purpose was over and after he had left Beth knew exactly what she now had to do. She must call on all her wits and without flinching summon up her courage. She looked again in the glass. The mist had cleared as if nothing strange had happened; perhaps it had not, but there remained the faint gentle smell of a baby.

  All through breakfast Beth was quiet and deep in thought. Christina was worried about her, and Beth pleaded a headache and said she would not attend church. She went up to her bedroom, changed into walking clothes and returned downstairs. Christina and Kitty were in the kitchen, washing and drying the dishes, and Joe was grooming Chaplin and Grace. Mrs Reseigh did not work here at the weekends and the women took turns with the domestic duties. ‘I’m going for a walk. It will do me good,’ she announced, putting on a bright voice to prevent unnecessary concern.

  ‘Are you sure, darling?’ Christina dropped the tea towel and went forward to feel Beth’s forehead. ‘You don’t seem to have a high temperature, but is it wise to go out? There’s a steady drizzle and from the look of the grey sky it’s not going to let up all day.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll wear my mac and rubber boots and wrap up warmly, and take my brolly. There’s plenty of spots to shelter in along the way.’ Beth was already heading for the door.

  ‘A walk is better for a headache than lying about, I always think,’ said the sporty Kitty. ‘I’d go with you but I’ll first need to drive Christina to church.’

  ‘I don’t mind staying at home,’ Christina offered.

  ‘Don’t be daft, Mum,’ Joe scoffed. ‘Beth isn’t made of fine china. And you and Kitty are eager to find out what the Reverend Benedict will preach about this morning. Why not take the dogs with you, Beth?’

  Beth flashed Joe a brilliant thank you smile. ‘I won’t actually, thank you. It’ll be good to be alone.’ She hurried to the hall to don her outdoor clothes.

  ‘Don’t go too far,’ Christina cautioned her, as she left the house.

  A fresh batch of tears stung Beth’s eyes. She turned and waved to her mother, watching her and waving from a window. It brought Beth comfort knowing that she would always have her mother’s love and support.

  * * *

  Her head down under her umbrella, Beth strode briskly along the lane in the direction leading away from the cove. She soon reached the place where the woods stretched out to the lane and she walked on until she reached a clearing. Beth knew she must cross the lane and then follow a long winding rough public footpath, between two high hedgerows, on the edge of Boswarva Farm. Joe had mentioned
he reached Claze Wyn by a faster easier route over the fields but Beth wasn’t about to risk getting lost. The way was pitted, stony and deeply muddy in places and it made Beth lurch and skid and her umbrella kept getting snagged on the hedges. Brambles in particular hung out like grasping tentacles. Beth closed her umbrella reluctantly but found she preferred the less claustrophobic feel about her head and accepted the rain dripping off her waterproof hat in the way Kitty would. Kitty was less fussy about weather conditions and loved the wind on her face, and illogically Nature had kindly allowed her to keep her flawless looks. Beth regretted her thoughts about Kitty. She needed to keep Gabby Magor uppermost in mind and the outcome of a meeting with her.

  Leaving the relative shelter of the hedgerows Beth reached open ground and she found herself buffeted by the strong winds. The sky was darker now, with growing sweeps of bruised purplish-grey, the colour of a stern dowager’s hair. Beth put up her umbrella but had to hold on tightly to the handle to prevent it being snatched away on the wind. The track beneath her mud-splashed boots, the way to Claze Wyn, was marked out from the years of Magors plodding to and from their home, but it was just as pitted and slippery as before. Beth could pick out Gabby’s deep boot prints and Tickle’s tiny paw prints. Sometimes Gabby used a shaky old bicycle to get around on but such a conveyance if used in these conditions would need to be pushed until reaching firmer ground. All Beth had to do was to keep going and sooner or later the hag’s property would come into view. Apparently elder trees grew behind it, from which Gabby harvested the berries to make wine, which with other fruit and vegetable wines she sold to regular customers. Beth was praying Gabby would be at home so she could get this meeting she was hoping for – which Gabby had hinted to Connie, that she herself would be seeking – over with. But meeting Gabby on her own ground was getting more and more daunting. Beth was sure it would be dreadful to be near or actually inside what would be, no doubt, a filthy, stinking hovel, and there was the risk of Gabby’s fierce temper and ready fists. She had been to prison years ago for badly beating Davey Vage after he had merely ignored her. She had served another sentence for receiving stolen goods. At the least, Gabby would gloat and swear and threaten Beth if she didn’t agree to her demands, which almost certainly were going to amount to blackmail.