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Love At Every Size

Page 5

by Jordan, Jesse


  “A pass at you? You were the one rubbing up on me, and you kissed me back!” I shoot back, flustered. “I just went with what felt right at the moment. And don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it!”

  “I... I... dammit Louden, this is my office!” Denise says, looking around. I notice that her nipples are still poking through her blouse, and my cock twitches in my pants, wanting me to be more forceful. Here’s a woman that can take all that I can dish out, it says, and give it back to me. I might be a coach right now, but inside me still beats the heart of an athlete, and at their core every athlete is a warrior, and a warrior wants a challenge.

  All of this rings through my mind, but I stop, looking at her from head to toe, shaking my head. “It’s your office Denise. But say what you want, you kissed me back. And no matter how much you might deny it, I know that you are interested in me.”

  “Jesus Louden, you really know how to push the limits don’t you?” she asks, upset but also sounding a little amused. “Whatever. We can discuss this at another time. For now, let’s just get ready for the first presentation tomorrow.”

  We continue with our work, but as we do the tension continues to rise. I am aware of her voluptuous, full figured body constantly, and her eyes look over my body almost the same amount. As they do we disagree more and more until we are almost fighting. The arguments are stupid, and I feel like she is being totally unreasonable. “Dammit Denise, I thought we worked this out. Why are you in insisting on going back to the way it was before?”

  “Because you obviously have ulterior motives when you try and make changes to the presentation,” she says. “This needs to go buy the book.”

  “There is no fucking book for this type of thing! You’re just saying that because you don’t want to admit that I might be right!” I reply heatedly. “You’re so caught up in denial about what happened, you are trying to ignore what I said.”

  “Denial about what?” she asks hotly. “That you’re an asshole who took advantage of me?”

  “Took advantage of you?” I ask, not sure what to say and so I just wing it. “Face it, Denise you’re attracted to me. There’s nothing wrong with that. Except that you’re afraid of it.”

  “I’m not afraid of you at all,” Denise says. “You’re the one afraid of me. I’m more woman that you can ever handle.”

  “Oh yeah?” I taunt. “How about you try and show me how much of a woman you are.”

  She leans in, closing the distance between us until we are barely two or three inches apart. “Go ahead cowboy,” she says breathlessly. “Make your move.”

  The skin on her arms are as soft as pure silk, and I pull her to me, our lips meeting again. The electric touch of her body pressing against mine excites me and fuels the fire that has been smoldering inside me for over an hour. She moans as our tongues swirls around each other, and when my hand travels down her back to cup her curvy backside, she makes a sound that awakens the deepest most powerful desires inside me.

  I don’t know if we would have gone further except that at the instant that her hand starts moving down my body to find the throbbing heat between my legs her phone rings, and she steps back breathless. I’ll admit, I’m breathing a little heavy too.

  “I have to get that,” she says, going to her desk and looking at her phone. “Uh, do you mind if we stop for tonight? This one could take a while.”

  “Okay,” I answer her shaken as well. “Just remember tomorrow we are meeting with the men’s and women’s soccer teams. They should be easy a good warm-up for the other teams later. Four thirty, okay?”

  “Yeah,” she says picking up her phone. “See you tomorrow.”

  I quickly get my things at leave her office. In the elevator on the way down, I take a minute to adjust my painfully erect cock. I don’t know why I did what I did. It was a total risk, and I don’t know if I even like this woman. I just know that I want her. Badly.

  Chapter 6

  Denise- A Step Forward, A Step Back

  Sitting in the locker room of the main basketball arena, I think I understand better what Louden was talking about last night. It is all well and good to talk about PowerPoint presentations and using facts and figures and a display when it is two people in my office.

  Now, looking at the twenty girls of the women’s soccer team, and the sullen expressions on their faces, his warning to me from last night rings more true. These girls don’t want to be here. In fact, there are probably a thousand other places they would rather be instead of this locker room.

  Louden is dressed in a Mount Reston polo shirt and some loose fit khakis, totally professional but still relaxed. I understand the image he’s going for, a coach yes, but an approachable one. I tried my best to copy his style, but for the first time in a long time, I am feeling out of place in what I am wearing. Face it Denise, these girls remind you of who you used to be. Good luck.

  I am almost too nervous to begin the lesson, but for some reason Louden gives me a little nod, and it reassures me that everything will be okay. “Welcome everyone, thank you for coming today. My name is Denise Taviolo, and I’d like to talk with you about the recent incident with the football team and the idea of body positivity.”

  Most of the girls look, if not interested at least polite enough to listen to what I have to say. We start the presentation, and as I go through the information I see that even some of the girls who are not 100% in agreeing with what I have to say at least are listening and are responding respectfully. In fact at the end of the session a couple of the girls are willing to raise their hands and discuss their own feelings about their body image.

  “I remember when I started playing in high school,” a beautiful young blonde girl who doesn’t look like she should have any body image issues at all says when it is her turn, “I had just started going through puberty and my body was growing sideways more than up and down. So for a while there, I was getting what I thought was a little bit chunky. I know that some of the cuter boys in school were paying attention to the taller, leaner girls and not so much to me. It was difficult and I felt like hell for a while. I guess part of me got lucky because pretty soon after I turned fourteen, I started to grow taller. In fact over one summer I jumped about four inches and then the bigger concern I had was more about the size of my boobs and not the size of my waist.”

  A couple of the girls laugh, and even Louden snickers. “Hey Coach Graham,” one of the girls asks, “What about you? When you were in high school, did you ever turn down a girl because she was too fat?”

  “No,” Louden says, his eyes twinkling merrily as he gives me a glance. “And I won’t give you guys a lot of details, sorry. But I will admit that I have dated a few girls in my time.”

  “A few?” some joker asks, getting a lots of laughs from everyone. Even I had to snicker at that one. Louden blushes, but nods.

  “I know it seems that most guys are nothing but man whores,” Louden says seriously. “The fact is, most guys have more interest in the personality of a girl and how they can get together mentally then the size of her waist. They might not admit it, though, even to themselves. They’ll tell all their boys about a girl’s body, but in private, the second thought is about getting along with her.”

  “What’s the first?” the same joker asks, and Louden lifts an eyebrow, getting another bunch of laughs.

  “I didn’t say men are perfect. But we’re not all about her body size.”

  “I notice you did not say anything about the size of her boobs,” someone jokes, and Louden shrugs.

  “Every man has a certain body type that he likes,” Louden replies. “But just like their are certain men who like blonde girls, redheads, or whatever it is that he can find at Mount Reston, and we have just about every type around campus, that doesn’t mean that we should disrespect people of other body types. To me, it seems sort of stupid. We would not tolerate the same sort of bullshit that the football team did if the group of girls had been Black or Asian or Latina. Yet for some reaso
n, we shrug and make up excuses because the girls were plus sized. That’s not right, in my opinion.”

  The rest of the meeting with the girls’ soccer team goes very, very well and by the end I feel like the girls are ready to help support and maybe even stop the idea of body shaming on campus.

  “Ladies, thank you for coming here today. I know that there are things that maybe one or two of you would like to discuss that you may not feel comfortable with in a group setting. So before you leave please everyone take one of my business cards. I’m serious, if you need to discuss any sort of issues please send me an email or give me a call. Thank you.”

  The girls leave and we have about twenty minutes until the next group comes in. During the break, I go over to Louden, who is arranging the handouts for the boys soccer team that will be coming in. “Were you serious about what you said to the girls?” I ask. “Because what you said can be very powerful to them.”

  “Which part?” Louden asks with a chuckle. “The part about me having many dates, or the part about different body types?”

  “Both,” I reply, although honestly the first question is more for me. “Do you really see relationships with such an open mind?”

  “I do,” he says softly. “Denise, we’re both about the same age. And I have seen too many people get caught up in unhelpful bullshit when the right person for them was right in front of them. Honestly it pisses me off. As for my dating history, it is both more varied and less active then most of the rumors around campus lead it to be. What about yours?”

  Heat creeps up my neck, and I shake my head. “Come on, let’s get ready for the boys.”

  The boys soccer team I can tell from the moment they walk in is going to be less cooperative than the girls. We get through the beginning portion of the presentation, but when I bring up the idea of many sizes of women being beautiful, one of them snickers. “Yeah right.”

  “Excuse me?” I ask, pausing the PowerPoint on a slide from a recent fashion magazine shoot. “Would you care to explain?”

  “Listen, just because some fat girls have put enough PC pressure on the media and on Facebook and on the rest of the world to make it publicly popular to be any size and still be considered a hottie does not mean that it is true,” the guy says. “There’s no way in hell that any of these girls that you have been showing me for the past two minutes are anything more than a manufactured lie.”

  I start to feel myself get angry, but before I can say anything, Louden interjects. “You know Caleb, twenty years ago nobody thought that soccer would be popular in the United States. When MLS first started, all of the ESPN commentators and all of the sportswriters said that it was a joke. They said the only market for soccer in the United States was with recent immigrants or for boys who are too weak to play real sports like football or basketball. Times change. The fact is each of the women that Denise has showed you in her presentation are all million dollar making professionals. Each of them has hundreds of thousands of fans on Instagram or other sites. I did a little research last night and found that whether you like it or not these women are considered some of the most beautiful in the world. Perhaps you are not personally attracted to them. That’s fine. That just means there is less competition for guys like me who thinks that they’re hot.”

  It’s a perfect takedown, and Caleb shuts up. In fact each of the players starts to look at the presentation with more respect as we continue. The questions about things like health issues or other problems are ones they are willing to listen to. When it comes time for their questions they are more aggressive than the girls, but they are also more willing to agree with me when I say that the human body is capable of doing many different things regardless of body type.

  “Sure, let’s be honest. I’m not going to enter the Olympics any time soon for gymnastics,” I joke earning a chuckle from the team, “at the same time, Gabby Douglas is not going to the Olympics for some of the strength-based sports. Her body type allows her to do gymnastics. Your body type allows you to play soccer. Both of you put in hard work. Just like the girl who won the heavyweight judo competition. Maybe she is bigger than you, maybe she is a little softer around her stomach, but she is an amazing athlete who I would not want to meet in a dark alley at night.”

  “I would,” Louden says, laughing. “I met her at a sports expo last year. She’s a total sweetheart.”

  The rest of the meeting goes well and while none of the men’s soccer team takes my card, even Caleb is willing to shake my hand and look me in the eye with respect as they leave. I help Louden put the chairs away and pack up the projector into its case.

  “I have to thank you again,” I say as I wrap the power cord up and put it away. “The hostility that the one boy showed had me bordering on snapping at him. Being able to take him down using soccer was not something I have thought of. And saying that you thought the models were hot or that the judo girl is a sweetheart really helped. Thanks.”

  “It's no big deal,” Louden says. “After I went home last night, I went over the files of the presentation. Nothing I said was a lie.”

  “Still,” I comment, “we talked about this last night. There are many men who are attracted to plus size women but are not willing to express it. You did so easily. Why?”

  “Two reasons,” he says, his voice growing both serious and playful somehow at the same time. “First Denise, the fact is, I find you attractive. But secondly, what he said pissed me off, and what you saw is the way I react to being pissed off when I am in a sports scenario.”

  “Why did it piss you off?”

  “Because last night, as I watched the video again, I thought about my own daughter. I imagined what it would feel like if she had been one of the girls in the group. I imagined what it would be like to be her father and have my teenage daughter come to me in tears because some asshole harassed her over her weight.”

  He has a daughter? I didn’t know. I mean, he is almost thirty, same as me, but he’s single and so I just assumed that he was childless as well. My surprise must show in my face because for some reason Louden’s expression darkens. “I... I’m a little surprised you have a daughter.”

  “She's the most important person in my life,” Louden says, his voice stony and his eyes clouding. “If you’ll excuse me please, I have a meeting with some of my players in about ten minutes. I’ll see you later.”

  He leaves the locker room, and as he does I feel like he was offended. I think back over the past minute, and I realized that he mistook my surprise for disdain. It must be hard for him being a single father, especially a single father who is also an active college basketball coach.

  His university profile said nothing about his having a family. I feel bad, and I want to go to apologize to him, but by the time I get my computer equipment together and my bag packed, he’s gone. I think of stopping by the basketball offices, but as I walk by, I see that there are five or six players ready to go in.

  Fine. We have another meeting in a few days to discuss what went right and what we can improve for the more difficult teams to come. I make a mental note to make sure I apologize and head back to my office.

  Back in my office, I see that I have a phone message waiting for me. It’s Cassandra, and I decide to give my best friend a call. “Hey girl, what’s up?”

  “Oh I just wanted to see how you dealt with the paternalistic miscreants of the BPs,” she says with a laugh. “Did you survive?”

  “Actually Cassie,” I reply, tempted to call her ‘Crusher,’ a nickname I know she hates, “most of the players were pretty receptive to what we had to say. Even Louden was helpful in taking down a jerk on the boys team and knocking him down to size.”

  “Louden, huh?” Cassandra says, her voice sneering. “So now he’s your buddy, is he?”

  “He’s not that bad,” I reply defensively. “Although he surprised me at the end when he told me that he has a little girl. I think he misread my reaction, and may have gotten a little pissed off. I guess he wasn
’t expecting me to be to be surprised.”

  “Fuck him,” Cassandra says, and a little voice in my mind whispers that last night that’s exactly what I wanted to do. “He’s just another hetero cisgender white privileged male who doesn’t understand what real pissed off is. So he’s got a sore spot about him having a daughter? Big fucking deal. Why is he hiding it from everyone anyway?”

  “I don’t think he’s hiding it Cassandra, I think the man just wants some privacy to his family life. I don’t even know what the living situation is.”

  “Like it matters,” Cassandra says. “Honey, I can read it in your voice. For some fucked up reason, you think that this underwear model is someone you are attracted to. Get your head out of your ass, he’s just another user. He’s just another BP who might want to fuck us but would never respect us.”

  I don’t want to anger my friend anymore than she is, so I don’t contradict her. Besides I don’t even understand why I should feel the need to defend Louden anyway. Instead I decide to change the subject. “Well regardless... on the good side, I do feel like I made a lot of in roads with the women’s team. In researching for the presentation I was able to find a lot of information about women’s athletes and body image issues. I know that you may not agree with me Cassandra, but these girls feel a lot of the same pressures that regular women do. I hope that if they have problems they will be willing to reach out to me.”

  “Oh I see,” Cassandra says with a laugh. “Well, I can’t blame you for trying to get something financial out of this as well, and who knows maybe you will get a few new patients.”

  I roll my eyes and I am glad that I do not have to talk with Cassandra face to face about this. She’s a valuable friend, but she has no understanding of where I am coming from on this issue. Thankfully since it is over the phone, I can lie my ass off. “You know how it is. Listen Cassandra, I’d love to keep talking but I have another patient who is coming in about twenty minutes and I need to get myself a cup of coffee or else I’m going to be hurting by the end of the session. You mind if I cut this short?”

 

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