Ash Addict

by Al K. Line

  Feathers appeared above the rim, then a beak and beautiful head, purple and iridescent with filigree caressing each feather, turned to stare its yellow eye at me.

  "Here it comes," I whispered, already awed, and it wasn't even more than a whisper of the mythical creature.

  The cauldron rattled manically, the bird squawked, and then the whole damn thing exploded.

  Feathers drifted lazily on the frosty air. I sank back onto my heels, groaning as I put my head in my hands.

  "It blew up," said Wand.

  "I know."

  The day seemed to turn to night without warning, as if heavy, dark clouds had amassed. Reluctantly, I looked skyward only to find it was still a clear day with just a few light clouds off in the distance.

  Then I turned, and standing there, grinning oddly, was, well, it was a thing. It sneered at me, now sat on my ass, then it bent and stuck out its impossibly long tongue as it bent forward at the hip like an articulated stick and licked the rim of the cauldron.

  "He one of yours?" asked Wand.

  "No, I thought you'd summoned it," I sighed.

  "You are both incorrect. I come for the ashes. I taste the ashes. I will have more." The impossibly thin man rose to his full height and I lost my recollection of him, of how he looked. He was so ordinary, yet so extraordinarily tall, skeletally thin, hair so dark and straight it reminded me of someone, someone from long ago.

  "Vampire," I hissed, being dramatic as at least now there was someone to appreciate my efforts.

  "Yes, vampire."

  The man smiled as the illusion faded and he became a regular-sized guy. Just as I felt relief, two very long incisors snicked down. He tilted his head back and laughed.

  "I think he's slightly unstable," noted Wand.

  "I think you might be right."

  Uninvited Guests

  "Um, you aren't here because I conjured you, are you?" I knew the answer, but figured I'd ask anyway.

  "Haha, you humans. So funny. You're a wizard, correct?"

  I pointed to my hat, then Wand. "Duh."

  My unwelcome guest frowned at my seeming impertinence, which I guess it was. But damn, I was miffed. Here I was, trying to summon something suitably scary and cool, a creature that would confirm my suspicions that I was the most ace wizard in all wizarding history, and this dude turns up and spoils the fun. Let's not mention the exploding phoenix or anything though; people would be annoyed to know it had met such an untimely and undignified end.

  But this was one hell of a coincidence. I was using ash, and now here was this guy. Although, I did seem to have a thing for ash, come to think of it. My interest in fire had grown of late, become almost an obsession. I made them all the time, ever since Mabel met her untimely end. I poked about in the embers for hours. I built fires in the house every day, I came outside and spent ages constructing intricate ones using various techniques of layering the wood, then squatted and watched them for the longest time, lost in the flames.

  Maybe I had a problem? Or, and this idea was only just coming to me but I suspected it was right, and that was worrying in the extreme, maybe I was so obsessed with fire because this dude was coming. My wizard Spidey senses must have been tingling without me recognizing the signs, so caught up was I with my new and best obsession. Penelope.

  That was it. This vampire had been coming and I'd missed all the signs. He'd been making his way from who knew where and I'd felt it. Was I making fires as an offering? Was I warning myself he was coming? Or was I just a bloke who enjoyed making fires in the winter because it was bloody cold and it was an excuse to toast marshmallows?

  "Do you do this often?"

  I jumped a mile as I focused only to find the man less than an inch from my face, staring at me curiously, fangs thankfully retracted. Damn but he was pale. Paler than most vampires I'd seen. He also had a pretty decent beard, thick and full, flecked with silver. His teeth were very white, like they got cleaned regularly from gnawing on bones and chewing gristly things. And his lips were thin and almost blue. I could see the veins underneath his eyes where the skin was so delicate. His eyes were pale brown, like a winter leaf when you hold it up to a weak sun.

  I decided I didn't like him and that he'd be nothing but trouble.

  As I stood, he rose in unison, so I stepped back and watched as he cocked his head, looking bemused.

  "I may tend to lose focus now and then. Sometimes, when I'm tired, although I haven't had problems sleeping so much lately, but I still get a bit distracted, yes. I think it's a defense mechanism so I don't have to deal with all the crap that inevitably comes my way."

  "And you like to talk?"

  "Who said that?" I asked suspiciously.

  "Nobody. It's just a wild guess." He laughed without much mirth, like a snake telling you a joke before it lunged and sank its deadly fangs into your wrist.

  "What do you want? Why are you here? You've been traveling, I can sense that much. You've come to see me, it's why I've been so interested in ash."

  "How very astute. Yes, Arthur 'The Hat' Salzman, I have traveled many miles to see you. You have felt my presence, that is interesting. Most are not as in tune with our kind."

  "Yeah, well, I'm a bloody wizard. And if that's all, I'll bid you adieu." Adieu? I was definitely babbling and sounding stupid now. This is what you get for ignoring the obvious. You play with things you ought not to and then a bloody vampire turns up and ruins your barbecue. Story of my life. Or a variation on a theme anyway.

  "I'm afraid that won't be possible. I'm here for a very specific reason. But, ah, this place is so nice." The man lifted his head and closed his eyes, taking in the weak sun as if it could give him sustenance. Which was odd, what with him being a vampire and all.

  "It's home."

  "And full of magic. I can feel it. And the fire, the ash, so beautiful. This cauldron, it tells many stories." He bent and ran a finger around the inside of the bowl, skin frazzling then bubbling with a nasty hiss before he licked it with a satisfied, "Ah." He sucked hard then pulled his long finger out. It was unmarked.

  "So, what can I do for you? Um, what's your name?"

  "My name is Tasius. Tasius Leitch. You killed my father."

  "Um, you'll have to be more specific," I said, knowing damn well who he meant but hoping maybe I'd got it wrong. I'd been waiting for this day, or one like it, and now here it was. I knew what I'd done would lead to something epic and dangerous and would shake up the whole magical community, but I'd hoped it would be many years before it came to pass. Guess my time was up.

  I should have known. I was having the time of my life being with Penelope, we were happy beyond belief, I was sleeping well, there had been no epic nonsense for weeks, so something to screw it up was well overdue. And here it was standing right in front of me.

  "I'm Mikalus' son. You killed my father. The First."

  "To be fair, he was trying to eat me at the time."

  "No matter. I am here. Justice shall be done."

  "Um, fancy a coffee first? I'm parched."

  Tasius spread his arms wide. It didn't look like he wanted a hug. Then he surprised me. With a warm smile, he answered, "Lovely."

  Oh

  "Lead the way," he said with a worryingly genuine smile. "The sun burns my soul, so it would be nice to get inside."

  "Right. So, why were you lifting your face to it? I know it's winter and all, but still."

  "Because it is so glorious, is it not?" I nodded as he studied me. "Winter is the only time I can enjoy its presence, so I would be a foolish man indeed if I failed to take advantage of what, after all, is the life giver. Without it, how would humans be here to feed me?"

  "I guess they wouldn't. You aren't going to eat me, are you?" I figured it best to ask now before I bothered making coffee. And the one thing I'd learned about vampires is that they were mostly good to their word. Not always, and they were devious sods of the highest order, but if you asked a question you usually got a semi-honest answer.
>
  "Not today, no. Not if the coffee's good."

  "Trust me, the coffee's excellent."

  Freaking Out the Missus

  "Boots off," I told Tasius.

  He nodded, observing the rules of the house, something sorely lacking in many now, but the old-timers respected tradition and no doubt it was how he was raised. I didn't know how old he was, when Mikalus had been with his mother, but by his mannerisms, and the mellow Eastern European accent hidden beneath what I would guess was expensive upper-class English schooling, I would estimate the late eighteen hundreds at least.

  He removed a pair of exquisite Italian leather boots, giving a flash of something I hadn't seen on a man, well, ever. He had little suspender type things to keep his socks up. Definitely old school. He arranged his designer jeans, very nice, and straightened a handsome black linen shirt, flashing a silver and brass Victorian belt buckle that looked like it cost more than most of my cars. This dude knew how to dress, liked his clothes, but was understated at the same time. I felt suitably scruffy and cheap by comparison.

  We walked down the hallway of the low-beamed cottage then entered the vast expanse of my beautiful kitchen. I'd spent a fortune having the adjacent barn converted and it was where we spent most of our time. The old wood was the perfect contrast to the modern kitchen with its gleaming appliances and sparkling work surfaces. Dark tiles reflecting warm woods and sparkling chrome made my heart lift every single time. The wall opposite us was glass sliding doors, giving a lovely view out onto the rolling hills beyond.

  But more beautiful than the kitchen, than my tap even, was the sight of Penelope sitting at the kitchen table, her gear laid out before her, putting the finishing touches to the tea towels she hand-embroidered and did special things to with dye and smelly minerals more esoteric than even wizards could understand.

  She'd decided to set up her own business not long after we got together, the change of life, the change of location, meaning she'd given up her old job as it seemed so mundane and everyday to her once she hooked up with the magic maestro. Now she sold them on several online sites for a markup that almost made my eyes bleed, but they were beautiful, and utilitarian, and we did both love our tea towels so it was a win-win. She'd worked in Tea Toweled, realized how much people would spend for quality items, so it was a logical, if somewhat unlikely, next step.

  I still couldn't believe how unlucky I'd been to fall so utterly in love with Penelope. She was everything I'd imagined, all I'd dreamed of and more. She was funny, smart, beautiful in that way only someone you adore can be, and so damn brave to enter our world and stay here. It was a nightmare.

  We cuddled up every night and, as promised, she let me cry as I rested my head on her chest. I had true peace, comfort, and love, and it was the last thing I wanted because I couldn't face the prospect of it all falling apart and something truly horrendous happening. But part of me knew it wouldn't, that this was it. We were together for life. Didn't stop me worrying, didn't stop me getting utterly distracted by her, and that was awful for a wizard thief. I needed my edge, my anger, my impetuous nature, and I was losing it. This was why I'd been so adamant about practicing my craft, and so far I'd failed miserably to summon up something suitably demonic.

  Guess I needn't have bothered, though, as here it was, in my kitchen.

  Which reminded me.

  I turned to Tasius, who was watching me with a bemused expression. "You get lost in your own head a lot, don't you?"

  "I can't help it. I'm in love."

  "She is rather beautiful. Bet she tastes divine." Tasius licked his lips and I had to restrain myself from trying to throttle him. I knew he wasn't making threats though, it was merely an observation. And she did taste nice. Like honey and salt.

  Penelope looked up at the sound of our voices then placed her work down, careful of the needle. She frowned gently, a curious, polite smile spreading. She was obviously nervous, although she was already used to strange goings-on.

  "Penelope, this is Tasius Leitch. Tasius, meet Penelope."

  "Pleased to me you, Tasius." Penelope came over and shook hands.

  "The pleasure is all mine." Tasius lifted Penelope's hand and kissed it gently as he stared into her eyes.

  "That's enough of that," I said hurriedly, unsure if he was about to glamor her and she'd ditch me in favor of the smartly dressed immortal.

  Penelope looked at me quizzically. "Arthur?"

  "He's a vampire."

  "Oh." Penelope's hand dropped, and I could see the memory of the man fading already. Vampires were so mundane, so entirely forgettable, that you saw something that wasn't true. I was more in tune with them now, and Penelope was getting some practice in because of Ivan's frequent visits, but I knew she saw a plain man now she'd released his hold. Someone forgettable, impossible to describe, and this was their secret weapon. To be able to walk among us and never be recalled, never picked out and accused.

  "Ah, so you dislike my kind?"

  "No, um, it's not that," said Penelope, flustered, her cheeks reddening. "It was a surprise, that's all. Should you be out in the light?" Penelope put a hand to her mouth, the words escaping before her brain could tell her to be quiet.

  "I have spent many years growing accustomed to limited daylight. I am old, but still able to be active during the day when the weather is less hostile than the warmer months."

  "Oh, right. Sorry, didn't mean to be rude."

  "Apology accepted. Now, Arthur mentioned something about coffee?"

  "Penelope, why don't you carry on your work in the den? I'll bring you a coffee in." I wiggled an eyebrow, hoping she got the hint. She didn't need to be asked twice, and nodded then grabbed her stuff from the table.

  With a, "Nice to meet you," she was gone.

  I said, "Take a seat," and as Tasius sat I fiddled with the coffee maker and wondered where the hell this was leading.

  I didn't have long to wait.

  Straight to the Point

  I made the coffee, taking my time as I wanted to make a good impression on the intimidating vampire, then walked over to the table and placed Tasius' drink on a coaster.

  "Thank you." He took a sip then smiled. "Very nice."

  "My pleasure. Shall we take it outside?" I nodded to the glass doors and he stood, holding his coffee carefully.

  I led the way; the doors slid effortlessly on their runners. "There are slip-ons just outside. Not stylish, but will do the job."

  "Oh, I couldn't, I really couldn't," he said, looking at the plastic clogs with horror. "Please, hold this." I took his mug and he was a blur, back before I'd moved a muscle. He dropped our boots down and put his on before taking his coffee. With a shrug, I slipped mine on, not bothering with the laces, and we stepped out into the cold. He had no jacket but didn't seem to feel the bite of the frosty air. Guess being a vampire had its benefits.

  "So, to what do I owe the pleasure? How did you find me, and what do you want?"

  "I've come for Father. I'd believed him lost so many years ago, we all had. When I heard of his resurrection, I was in two minds about coming, and by the time I'd decided to make the journey, he was dead. Again. You killed him."

  "If you know that much, you know the rest. What happened, what he'd become, what he did to me. He used me, betrayed me and Ivan, his own kind. He broke his word, his word sworn on his honor, so yes, I killed him to save myself and my friend. If you have a problem with that..." I shrugged, we'd either deal with this or I'd do my best to kill him. Either way, I wasn't about to apologize.

  "I merely want his ashes. There is unfinished business, business that must be completed. Don't stand in my way, Arthur, I warn you."

  "You don't get to come to my house and threaten me. I don't like it. Your father did the same and look where he is now. I'm not scared of you and I wasn't scared of him. I beat him, so what makes you think I can't beat you?"

  "Oh, I don't know, the fact that if it had been another time, another place, he would have destroyed yo
u without effort. You got lucky. Everyone knows that."

  "I might get lucky again," I snapped. "I'm a fortuitous guy." I winced at the words, because I was so far from being charmed it wasn't even funny. And he was right. Mikalus had only been beaten because I'd managed to destroy a very powerful ward along with a wall letting bright sunshine stream in. He was old school, couldn't handle the sun at all, and it had killed him. If it had been night, the outcome would have been very different indeed.

  "Nobody is that blessed, not even you." Tasius sipped his coffee while he studied me. I studied him right back.

  "You didn't answer my question. How did you find me?"

  "That was easy. I have contacts. People I trust."

  "And you want your father's ashes?"

  "Yes."

  "You should know, they were blown out the window. When he died, they were sucked away by the wind."

  "No matter. I want them. You will get them for me."

  "Look, mate, I don't know where you come from, or what happens there, but in this country when ash gets blown away into the air, then that's it, gone. Goodbye forever."

  "No, that's not true."

  "Why? I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

  Tasius paused and his head turned sharply to the side. I caught it the same moment he did, something off. People coming. Trying to be quiet.

  I placed my coffee down and pulled Wand out. He flared to life with his usual chipper glee and I asked silently, "What is it?"

  "Someone coming. Several someones."

  "I know that! Who? What do they want?"

  "No idea."

  "Fat lot of good you are," I grumbled, but nonetheless kept him out and handy.

  "Hey, no need for that. I can't see around bloody corners."

  "Then maybe you should practice. You're a sentient wand, you should be able to do basic stuff like that."

  "I'm not a miracle worker. There are limits."

  "Whatever. Stay sharp, here they come."

  I glanced at Tasius. He was on full alert, body fluid and relaxed, ready to pounce. His eyes were dark, his fangs long. He was smiling.