Mine (Ties that Bind Book 1)

by A. Zavarelli

  My fingers wrap around her throat, and she shrinks back into the floor. “Is that how you want to play?”

  “I didn’t mean to!” She tosses out a half-assed apology as I flip her over onto all fours and shove her face down into the carpet.

  I squeeze the delicate flesh around her throat, forcing her to arch back as I thrust my wet dick inside her. She whines when I reach between her legs and start toying with her overly sensitive clit.

  She shakes her head, panting as she tries to pry my fingers away, but I don’t fucking budge. Fingering her until she’s screaming is my new favorite pastime. The sound of my flesh slapping against hers reverberates off the walls as I force my cock in and out of her. She cries out in agony as she comes again, and then squeals when I lay my entire body over hers, sinking my teeth into her shoulder.

  I dig my fingers into her hips and thrust into her one last time, my cock unleashing four years of pent-up tension and a fuck load of cum.

  Dragging her down with me, we collapse into a heap on the floor with my dick still inside her. Kat gasps when she feels the sticky mess between her thighs.

  “I’m not on birth control,” she screeches.

  “I know.” I bury my face into her neck with a contented sigh and close my eyes.

  “You know?” she repeats.

  “You’re mine.” My cock twitches inside her. “And if I want to fuck you raw, I will.”

  “And if I get pregnant again?” she croaks.

  “Then Josh gets a little brother.”

  The air deflates from her chest, and she stares at me like I’m insane before her eyes drift to my lips. I wipe the blood away with my thumb and push it between her lips, smearing it across her teeth. And then I kiss her again. She parts her lips for me, and I drink from her until she’s tapping my arm in a silent plea to come up for air.

  “Did you let anyone else touch you this way while I was gone?” I ask when I pull away.

  “No,” she whispers as she stares up at the ceiling.

  “Good girl.” I pet her hair and kiss her forehead.

  We lay together in silence for another hour. I hold her close, refusing any distance between us, until inevitably, she gives up the last of her resistance and closes her eyes. She’s exhausted, but there isn’t time to sleep.

  When I finally pull out of her and tug my jeans back up, she looks at me in question.

  “Come on.” I hold my hand out to help her up. “We need to get cleaned up so we can go pick up Josh.”

  At the mention of his name, she doesn’t hesitate to do as she’s asked. Whatever fire may have lingered in her earlier is nothing but smoldering ash as I lead her into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

  Kat frowns as I remove the rest of her clothes, repeating the process on myself. She tries to cover herself up, hiding her old scars and the new one. The scar across her belly from when our son came into this world.

  “Don’t hide from me.” I reach out and touch her there again. “This is nothing to be ashamed of. Someday soon, I want to know about his birth. I want to know all of it.”

  She swallows, and I open the shower door, urging her inside. Together, we stand under the spray, and she shivers as I wash her body, taking extra care between her thighs and the welted red marks on her ass. It obviously stings, and she sucks in a breath every time I touch one of the marks, but she doesn’t tell me to stop.

  Even though she showered this morning, I wash her hair again and comb it away from her face with my fingers before I tug her against my body and kiss her neck. She melts into me, and for a while, we just stand there, until the spray of the shower goes cold, forcing us to evacuate.

  I towel her off and brush her hair as she stands before me, numb and silent. She’s trapped inside her own mind right now and asking her to function would be too much. So I take on the burden without regret, smearing some aloe lotion into the welt marks on her ass and dressing her again. After I’ve dried her hair and secured it with an elastic band, I remove my own towel and dress myself as her eyes rake over my body, pausing briefly on my cock before her cheeks flush and she turns away.

  “It’s okay.” I smile behind her. “You can look at it if you want.”

  She clears her throat and crosses her arms as I rifle through her closet and find another jacket. She seems confused by the gesture until I remind her that she left her other one at school.

  The nerves return to her face, and when she reaches for the jacket, I don’t let it go just yet.

  “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, Katerina. You’re a smart woman. But if you think about making a scene at the school, or anywhere else, you may want to consider how far Vasily’s influence stretches.”

  “What does that mean?” she asks.

  “That list of names on the drive?” I return her gaze. “That was just one of many. Cops, politicians, government employees. They can all be bought, or they can disappear. The moral of the story is that without me, there isn’t a place on this earth you’ll be safe. It’s something to think about.”

  Her jaw flexes, but she nods her understanding. I release the jacket, and she slips it on.

  “What am I supposed to say if someone asks who you are?” she questions.

  “Tell them I’m an old friend. The same for Josh. At least until he’s had some time to get to know me. Then we can tell him the truth. Together.”

  Kat frowns and doesn’t respond. Together, we walk out of the house, and I lock the door with the spare set of keys from my pocket. She stares at me in disbelief as I lead her around to the passenger seat of her Jeep and secure her seat belt. Just like old times. When my arm brushes hers, she looks away, but it doesn’t change the fact that she still shivered like it was the first time.

  The Jeep takes three attempts to start, and it bothers me that she’s been driving this piece of shit around like this.

  “I’ve been meaning to get it fixed.” She stares out the window.

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  I pull out of the driveway and turn onto the main road. Kat doesn’t bother to give me directions. By now, she’s aware I don’t need them. The chatter from the radio is the only sound between us, and I don’t like it.

  “Can you just tell me one thing?” she croaks.

  I glance at her across the seat. “What?”

  “Did Nina suffer?”

  My fingers tighten around the steering wheel as I consider how much to tell her. I meant what I said about honesty earlier, and I know that goes both ways. It might hurt her to hear the truth, but if I expect the same from her, I won’t be a hypocrite.

  “I know she put up a fight,” I admit. “She bit the man who was there with me. I was downstairs, and I didn’t see it happen. But it happened quickly. Five, maybe ten minutes. He shot her before I could get to her.”

  Kat releases a painful sob and more tears begin to spill down her cheeks before I reach over and touch her arm.

  “I am sorry, Katya. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save her.”

  She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. “I should have taken her with me.”

  “It isn’t your fault,” I assure her.

  We pull into the parking lot of the school, and I kill the engine and turn to her, wiping away the evidence of her tears.

  “No more tears today,” I say. “Josh wouldn’t like to see his mother upset.”

  At this, she nods, attempting to gather herself together as she pulls down the visor and looks at her reflection in the mirror. “I’m a mess.”

  She digs through her purse and finds a compact, which she uses to dab her face with powder. After a couple of minutes, she grumbles that it will have to do and shuts the visor. I walk around to help her from the car, and it happens naturally that we fall back into this rhythm. She waits for me and doesn’t protest when I place my hand against her back, but I wonder if she’s considering my warning as we walk inside the building.

  “We still have a few minutes,” I inform her. �
�Let’s go to your desk first.”

  Her shoulders tense, but she allows me to lead her in the direction of her room. She goes through the process of unlocking the door and smiles at another teacher as they walk down the hall.

  But once we’re inside and the door shut behind us, she seems less certain. I don’t doubt that she’s still weighing her options, but she is too smart to disregard what I told her earlier.

  “Log in to your computer.” I gesture to the chair in front of the desk.

  She sighs and takes a seat, reaching for the mouse. But instead of stirring the screen to life, it loads to a blue screen.

  “What the…?” Her words drift off as it occurs to her what’s happening. Alexei has already come through as promised.

  “Everything is gone,” I inform her. “Just in case you doubted what I told you earlier.”

  The bell rings before she can speak, and I gesture her toward the door.

  “Come. Let’s go see our son.”

  Josh glances up at me with a curious expression and eyes so much like my own it hurts to breathe. My son.

  “Who is this, Mommy?” Josh asks.

  “He’s a friend.” Kat offers him a watery smile as she watches our exchange take place. “His name is Lev.”

  “Lev,” Josh repeats.

  I kneel before him and resist the natural instinct to pull him into my arms. He doesn’t know me. A fact that’s still difficult to swallow. We just need some time.

  “Hey, buddy.” I offer him a pained smile. “How was your day?”

  “Good.” He shrugs before looking at Kat. “Mommy, can we get pizza?”

  Her expression tightens when she looks at me.

  “I like pizza,” I tell him. “What’s your favorite?”

  “Pepperoni,” he chants triumphantly.

  “He likes the Village Pizza shop,” Kat explains. “It’s his favorite.”

  “Village Pizza it is then.” I wink at Josh. “How about a lift?”

  He flashes a dimple at me and nods enthusiastically before I throw him up onto my shoulders. Kat looks like she’s going to have a heart attack as we walk out of the school like that, and her face pales completely when we run into douchebag Luke on the way out.

  “Hey, Katie.” His smile fades as his eyes roam over me and Josh beside her.

  “Hi, Luke.” She forces the words through stiff lips. “I’m sorry, I can’t really talk right now. We’re on our way out to dinner.”

  His eyes narrow in my direction, and I smirk. That’s right, asshole. My family.

  “Are we still on for this weekend?” he asks.

  “Uh…” She shifts her feet and stares off into the distance.

  “Katie’s busy this weekend,” I answer for her. “And every weekend for the foreseeable future.”

  Her mouth falls open as she glares at me, and Luke looks like he’s tempted to challenge my assertion. Something that won’t end well for him.

  “C’mon, Katie.” I press my palm against her lower back and urge her forward. “Josh is hungry.”

  Luke stands there like a fucking moron, gaping at us as we leave him behind. Only once we’re out of earshot does she whisper under her breath.

  “You didn’t have to be such a dick to him.”

  “I wanted to get my point across.” I hoist Josh down from my shoulders and into his car seat. But when it comes to buckling him in, that’s where I realize I’m fucking lost.

  “Here.” Kat shoves me out of the way. “You have to do it a certain way.”

  I watch over her shoulder as she secures him into the seat, tugging on the straps until they are snug. It might be a little issue, but it feels like a big fucking deal to me. I should know how to do this.

  I’m trapped inside my own thoughts as I open the door for Kat and buckle her in. At least that much I can do. When I start the Jeep, she gives me directions to the pizza place. It’s still early, but neither of us has eaten since this morning anyway.

  When I pull into the lot and cut the engine, she turns to me. “Should we order it to go?”

  “Noooo!” Josh protests. “I want to play games!”

  I shrug. “Sounds like the boy wants to play some games.”

  Kat doesn’t look as sold on the idea, and I can tell she’s still nervous. She feels protective of Josh as a good mother should. But she needs to come to an understanding that the last person she needs to protect him from is me.

  Inside, the waitress seats us and takes our order. Josh can hardly sit still long enough to tell her he wants pepperoni pizza before he’s begging to go play some games.

  “How about after dinner?” She tries to reason with him.

  “I’ll take him.” I stand and hold out my hand for his, and to my relief, he takes it. Kat scrambles out of the booth behind us and follows us to the Whac-A-Mole game. I throw in a few quarters, and Josh giggles as he tries to squash the moles.

  “You can’t just undermine whatever I say,” she whispers while he’s distracted. “It will make him think he doesn’t have to listen to me.”

  “Relax.” I reach between us and squeeze her hand. “It’s my first day. I just want him to have fun.”

  Her expression softens a fraction, and she nods in understanding. “Okay, but let’s not make it a habit.”

  Josh finishes the game and then bolts toward another one. We find a few that I can actually play with him, and he gets a real kick out of it when he actually beats me. The sacrifice of my pride is worth every giggle. By the time we eat our pizza and have another round of games, Kat informs me it’s almost his bedtime.

  “Already?” I glance at my phone.

  “He’s only three,” she says. “He has a routine, and I don’t want to disrupt that.”

  I nod. “Alright, buddy. You heard your mom. Time to go.”

  Josh pouts but does as he’s told. Kat helps him into his coat, and I pay the bill before we head back to her house. When we get there, she goes about the process of his nightly routine, which I discover is a bath and brushing his teeth before he hops into bed.

  “Ready for story time?” she asks.

  He nods with a yawn, and I lean against the doorframe in his room. “Mind if I read tonight?”

  Kat hesitates, glancing at the book in her hands. “Would that be okay, Josh?”

  Josh smiles, and I settle next to Kat on the bed, my leg brushing against hers when she hands me the book. She glances down between us but doesn’t move away as I expected she might.

  “I hope you’re good at voices,” she says with an attempt at levity. “Josh likes his stories pretty animated.”

  “I think I can make it work.” I wink at him as I turn to the first page. “Now let’s see about these gorillas.”

  17

  Kat

  I leave Lev to read but stand just outside the bedroom listening as he makes all the sounds of the different characters. In spite of myself, I have to smile at some of them, and hearing Josh giggle is what triggers it.

  He won’t hurt Josh, and I know that. I’m not afraid of that at all, actually. But there is another thought niggling at me. Would he try to take Josh away from me?

  Just the thought makes me shudder, and I hug my arms to myself. I walk into the kitchen and put the kettle on to make tea. Past my reflection in the window, a flurry of snow falls to the ground. I’m not sure if it’s the wind rustling up the already fallen snow or if it’s the next front that’s predicted.

  I focus on my face in the glass. I look pale and tired.

  The kettle whistles, startling me. I hurry to take it off the flame and set it on the back burner while spooning loose jasmine green tea into a tea bag. Setting that into the teapot Josh and I painted together at the local ceramic shop, I pour hot water over it.

  When I next look up, my face isn’t the only one in the window.

  My breath catches as I turn, and I meet Lev’s eyes. The cabin isn’t big, it’s just right for Josh and me, but with Lev here, it looks tiny. Like a dollhouse.
He’s a hulking figure in the kitchen, and just his size alone makes my belly flip. I don’t want to want this. Want him. Didn’t the violence of the afternoon prove to me how bad he is for me? For us?

  But I can’t deny that being near him does something to me.

  “He’s a sweet kid,” Lev says, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. “You did good.”

  I’m surprised by the compliment. Not that I think I’ve done badly with Josh, but just that he’s saying that.

  “Thanks,” I say, busying myself with taking out the tea bag. It should steep longer, but I don’t know what to do with my hands. “Tea?” I ask when I turn around.

  “Do you have something stronger?”

  “Um…” I look around the kitchen, then remember the almost-full bottle of vodka in the freezer. Luke had brought it a long time ago. I can’t even remember the occasion because I don’t drink much in general. “Here,” I say, taking it out, deciding not to mention it’s from Luke.

  He takes the bottle and reads the label. “It’ll do, but we’ll get some good stuff tomorrow.”

  “I don’t really drink. There’s no need.”

  “I do drink,” he says. Is that his way of telling me he’s staying?

  I get him a glass. “Do you want ice?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s cold enough.”

  I stand there, not quite sure what to do.

  “Sit down, Katerina.”

  “Why? Do I make you nervous with all these sharp knives around?”

  His lips curl upward. “I can repeat this afternoon’s lesson if you need me to.” He pushes the chair out with his foot. “Sit.”

  I sit, wincing when my butt hits the wooden chair. If he notices, and I’m sure he does, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he pours himself two fingers of vodka. I consider getting up to get a cushion but don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

  “You can’t stay here,” I say, pouring myself a cup of tea.

  “I thought I made it clear that’s not up for discussion.”

  “Where will you sleep?”

  He just raises his eyebrows and swallows back the vodka.

  “What will I tell Josh? How do I explain my ‘friend’ is sleeping in my bed?”