Fallen Princess

by Alexa B. James

  “You doing okay?” Lord Balam asked, snagging my hand and pulling me down beside him in one of the leather recliners. I wedged in next to him, fitting myself around his thick, muscular body that had become as familiar to me as my own over the past few months.

  “Somehow, I think I am,” I said. After spending the first eighteen years of my life as my sister’s staunchest supporter, our plan still sat funny with me, but I knew that it needed to be done. My sister was dangerous, and if I could stop her from taking the throne, it was my responsibility to do so, for the sake of our country and most of the people in it.

  “Don’t act so surprised, Princess,” Sir Kenosi said. “You’re tough.”

  “A lot tougher thanks to you,” I said. “All of you, actually. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have found all of you.”

  Though I’d had a rocky start with most of my mates, I knew they’d made me stronger, even when it hurt. They’d pushed me to my limits and often past them, and now I knew what I was capable of enduring.

  “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Tadeu grumbled. “You always have been.” He sat with his arms crossed, glaring at the man who held me with strength and tenderness, the rough, sexy, seasoned jaguar curandero who had gotten me through my grief over Tadeu’s death.

  “I think that’s something we can all agree on,” Gao Jetsun said. “No one can question Itzel’s strength, as a woman and as the High Priestess.”

  I’d always thought I was a mere human, so I was still getting used to the knowledge that I had strong magical powers, even stronger than a shifter. And though we’d left the news crew behind—thank fuck—with the promise not to air any of the video of my powers, I’d exposed them to Camila. And much more importantly, I’d hurt people. I was lucky no one had been killed. I wasn’t so sure I wanted these powers, but I had them, so I was trying to adjust to the knowledge and figure out what to do with them.

  “I am also honored to have found a True Mate in you, my queen,” Kwame said, sitting in the chair next to Lord Balam’s and taking my hand.

  “Actually, I’m the one who should be honored,” I said, sitting up straight. “And I want to talk to you all about something. Now seems as good a time as any.”

  “We do have a long flight ahead,” Sir Kenosi said, removing his headset and setting it down on the table beside his chair. “There’s plenty of time to discuss anything we need to before we reach the Lynx Commonwealth.”

  “Go ahead,” Shadow said, his eerie green eyes intent on me. “What is it?”

  “Well, as you all know, I marked you all as True Mates,” I said, my eyes moving around the group. “I know that’s not how it’s usually done in the cat clans, but maybe it’s because I’m the High Priestess. Lilith did tell me that having multiple mates has kept my magic in check during all this, so maybe I have so many mates because that’s what it will take to control it.”

  “Go on,” Lord Balam murmured, his thick hand heavy on my back.

  I nodded and swallowed hard before continuing. Though it was torture to think of any of these men leaving, I knew giving them the option was the right thing to do.

  “I’m sure you all thought that if you found a True Mate, you’d have her all to yourself,” I said. “So, I don’t want to make anyone stay in this arrangement if it’s uncomfortable for you. You can move on, no questions asked, no hard feelings.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Balam murmured, his strong hand flattening on my back. He had been my strength and support through all of this, but it still made me nearly melt with relief when he confirmed his commitment aloud.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, turning to press a kiss to his lips before turning to the others. “I want you to know that I love you all equally, and though we all have our own unique relationship, we’ll have one together, as a family, if you stay. But I can’t hold it against you if you don’t want to share my love, especially because I’d be a complete hypocrite if I did. I know that I couldn’t handle it if any of you were with another woman, so I can’t hold you to something I wouldn’t do myself.”

  Shadow shrugged one shoulder when our eyes met. “You know I’m not going anywhere. All I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy, and I know this makes you happy. I have no objections.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “And I want everyone else to know that if you want to stay and fight to get Camila off the throne, you can stay in the group and not be one of my lovers. That’s not a requirement for being here.”

  “So… What happens from now on?” Sir Kenosi asked. “We all fuck you at once, like we did back in that cave?”

  My knees squeezed together at the memory of all six of them pounding into me at once, but I only nodded. “Maybe, sometimes,” I said. “I needed that because I was in heat, though, and that won’t happen now that I’m not a shifter. But I’m not opposed, either, if the situation arises. I’m happy to spend time with you one-on-one as well, and any other arrangements you want.”

  “Well, I never imagined I’d even meet my True Mate,” he said. “Most shifters spend their whole lives searching for one, hoping they have one. I’m not going to throw that away over my ego.”

  “That’s saying a lot, coming from you,” I teased. “Seeing as how you’ve got the biggest ego known to man.”

  “When you’ve got the goods to back it up,” he said with a smirk, adjusting himself in his pants. My eyes dropped to his lap, and I gulped at the memory of how I’d begged shamelessly for his cock. It was worth it.

  “That you do,” I said lightly. “I’m glad you’re joining us. I can’t thank you enough for what you did back in the Tiger Empire, either. Giving your life for me…”

  “Oh, eventually you’ll thank me enough,” he said with a haughty grin. “I’ll make sure you’re on your knees thanking me nightly, Princess.”

  “I have no problem with that,” I said, smiling back at him. I couldn’t deny the attraction between us, one that had been there even when I was his captive. Even when he’d put me on my knees against my will, I’d been wet for him. My body had known all along that I was more than my mind knew, and that he was more than a billionaire entrepreneur with the body of a god and a smile that could make panties drop as he walked by. He was my mate, and I was his to do with as he pleased. Not just in the Cheetah Nation, but forever.

  “I am yours, my queen,” Kwame said, raising my hand to his lips to kiss it gently. “I give my whole self willingly. To have even one part of your heart is more than I could ask for.”

  “You have all of it, though,” I said, gratitude welling inside me as I looked at my mates. “You all have all of it. I just want to make it clear that this isn’t temporary. You’re my True Mates. I’m never going to choose one of you over another.”

  “And what about him?” Tadeu asked, nodding at Jetsun.

  I could hardly look at the snow leopard. We’d gone through my heat together, walked in the Spirit World together. Our union—that of a High Priestess and a god—had stopped time itself. We’d walked with Lilith, the queen of the underworld, and chosen not to undo anything in our pasts that led us to that moment, even the most heartbreaking losses.

  And we’d fucked. Gods, how he’d fucked me when I needed it most, drinking me dry and refilling the well inside me with his seed over and over and over. I’d needed him, and he’d been there for me, giving me everything I asked for, fucking me until I couldn’t go on when I was insatiable in my heat. He was just as insatiable. Maybe it was because he was a god, or maybe it was that he’d been a monk since he was sixteen, and he’d probably been saving it up all that time.

  “We… I have to tell you something,” I said to the others.

  “Go on,” Shadow said, his intense eyes watchful as he waited for me to finish.

  “When I went to the Spirit World, my mother told me that King Ocelot isn’t my biological father.”

  “You told us,” Sir Kenosi reminded me. “You met your bio dad while you were there.”
<
br />   “Well, he also had another kid before me,” I said. My eyes met Jetsun’s at last, and the shimmer of heat that always accompanied his pale, blue-green gaze swept over my skin. If only he didn’t look every inch the god he was, with a tall, athletic build, thick black hair, and bone structure that could make a girl weep. “Gao Jetsun.”

  For a second, no one spoke. I could feel Lord Balam shift in the chair beside me, and shame burned in my cheeks. They’d all been there for the end of my heat, joining Jetsun in fucking me mercilessly for days on end. By the time I came back to my right mind, they’d shared me with each other and with Jetsun in every combination possible, in every hole, every position, every way. They’d watched him fuck me, watched me scream and beg and cum for him so hard I blacked out. But they hadn’t known it was my half-brother’s cock inside me at the same time as theirs, that it was my own brother’s cum I begged for so shamelessly.

  “Damn, you really are a dirty bitch now,” Tadeu said at last.

  He hadn’t committed to being with me, and the words stung a little. I knew he still hadn’t forgiven me for his execution at my father’s hands, and I hadn’t forgiven him for the way he’d treated me since. Yes, we’d been together during my heat, but that seemed like a dream now that our heads had cleared.

  “It was during a heat,” Lord Balam said. “And not just any heat. The heat of a High Priestess, the embodiment of the divine feminine itself. I don’t think any man on earth could have resisted you, Itzel. These things sometimes happen.”

  “They do?” I asked, twisting around to see his face.

  Everyone looked uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact and shifting around.

  “It’s not like that ever stopped an animal in the wild,” Shadow said at last.

  “Wait, so you’ve fucked a sister?” I asked.

  “I don’t have any living relatives,” he said, and I was reminded again of my father’s barbarism.

  “We’re animals in that form,” Prince Kwame explained. “We retain some humanity, it’s true. But it’s easy to get carried away, forget it for a while.”

  “And that’s when it’s not the goddess of all creative and sexual energy on earth,” Sir Kenosi said.

  “And yes, when they’re not shifters, lions and tigers and bears mate with relatives all the time,” Lord Balam said.

  No one spoke for a long moment.

  “Yeah, but you fucked your own brother,” Tadeu said, chuckling with way too much mirth. “Too bad the camera crew isn’t here for this.”

  “No,” I said, holding up a hand. “None of that for me. If you need a reality show, this is the wrong group. I won’t have someone with me who’s going to betray any secrets or anything else that goes on between us.”

  “She’s right,” Prince Kwame said. “With her magic, we have to keep her as protected as possible.”

  “Agreed,” Lord Balam said, his thick arm tightening around my waist. “You can be part of this relationship if Itzel’s agreeable to it, but no outsider should be privy to what goes on with us.”

  “I just wanted everyone to know, in case that changed your mind about being part of it,” I said. I knew it was a risk to tell Tadeu, since he’d been on Camila’s side. I knew he didn’t owe me loyalty or anything else. I’d been half scared, when we fought on the mountain, that he’d go back to her. He hadn’t, though. He’d fought on our side. But he should know about my relationship with Jetsun before he decided whether to participate further.

  “There’s something else,” Jetsun said quietly, rolling up the sleeve of his dress shirt. He turned his forearm so we could see the paler underside. There, glowing as silvery as moonlight, was a familiar paw print.

  “That’s Itzel’s?” Lord Balam asked, though he must have known.

  Jetsun nodded, his lips tight.

  “But… How’s that possible?” I asked. “You said someone foretold that you had no True Mate on earth.”

  “I didn’t,” Jetsun said. “Now I do.”

  I stared back at him, my heart racing. I wanted to ask again how that was possible, but by now, I knew better. Everything on this entire amulet tour had been impossible, and yet, it had happened. I tried to quell the panicky feeling in my chest.

  “Her True Mate is her brother,” Tadeu said, cracking up again. But I knew him. I’d known him since I was five years old. I knew he used crude humor to cover his real emotions, that he was feeling something underneath the show of amusement. Probably the hurt of a wounded pride, knowing that he’d never be my first or my only lover.

  He’d always be my first love, though. I just had to make him understand how special that was.

  “Do you think she’d mark anyone in the world who fucked her?” asked Sir Kenosi. “I mean, it seems like it so far.”

  “I’d better stop meeting new men,” I muttered. At this rate, I’d have a whole army with my mark on them. As great as it had been so far, and as much as I appreciated them all understanding and having my back, it wasn’t all orgasms and foot rubs. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that having six lovers would be easy. All relationships were complicated, and they all took work, and if you added seven people to the equation instead of two, it was infinitely more intricate.

  “I wondered that as well,” Shadow admitted. “It’s why I didn’t rip out Gabor’s throat. I thought maybe… And I didn’t want to kill him if he was one of us.”

  He looked around at the others, and Lord Balam nodded. “She and the guard have had a bond since we met,” he agreed.

  “But he loves Camila now,” I protested, though gods, I wanted their suspicions to be true. “It doesn’t matter if he’s my True Mate.”

  “I think it does,” Jetsun said quietly, giving me a meaningful look.

  That’s when I remembered that my father had opened the Ocelot Amulet on my mother. That’s why she’d loved him, married him, borne his children. But it hadn’t stopped her from falling for her True Mate when they met, even having an affair with him. It was practically impossible for a shifter to resist the True Mate bond once they’d met.

  Which meant… What? That Gabor wasn’t mine? I wouldn’t know unless we fucked and he got the mark. But maybe he’d know, since he was a shifter. Maybe he’d feel it. Was that what had always been between us, the weight in his watchful gaze, the way his eyes followed me through the castle, the way I’d known he wanted me even when he denied it and refused to act on it?

  “Well, there’s nothing to do about it now,” I said. “We won’t be mating, so he’ll never get the mark. And let’s make sure there’s no mating involved for the next amulet. I’m not sure I can handle one more lover.”

  “That won’t be a problem in the Lynx Commonwealth,” Lord Balam said. He’d told me once that they were the Switzerland of cat clans, never joining the International Council of Feline Nations or any of our squabbles. I didn’t know much more, so he explained. “They have an amulet because those are ancient relics from a time far older than the ICFN, but they don’t participate in the modern games that were play with them. They simply hand over the amulet to any clan who needs it, showing they have neither ill will toward, nor favorites among, the other Feline Nations.”

  “Thank fuck,” I said, wanting to lay back in his arms but knowing the conversation wasn’t over.

  I turned to my snow leopard brother. “So, what now? For us?”

  “Obviously we can’t be together in that way again,” he said.

  To my utter humiliation, a pang of pure devastation ran through my traitorous body. I wanted to blame everything that had happened on my going into heat, but the truth was, I still wanted him. Shamefully, undeniably, I was still attracted to him. My clit throbbed every time he smiled at me, and my face flushed with not just embarrassment at the memory of what we’d done, but also arousal.

  “Obviously,” I said, ducking my head.

  “But you are my True Mate, and I’d like to stay with you and be part of the family in other ways,” Jetsun said. “If that’s agre
eable to you and your other mates.”

  I glanced around at the others, who all nodded their assent. At last, every eye turned to Tadeu. Everyone had agreed to stay with me, even my half-brother, to be part of the relationship as well as the effort to remove Camila from the throne. Everyone but Tadeu.

  I found myself holding my breath, waiting for his answer.

  He met everyone’s eyes with defiance, crossing his massive arms over his tree-trunk chest and glaring back at them. At last, his eyes locked on mine. “Look, I don’t know all the ins and outs of kinky shifter sex, since I’ve only been a tiger for a few months,” he said. “I don’t care about True Mate marks any more than Itzel does. It means nothing to me.”

  “I care about it now,” I said, ignoring the ache of his words in my chest. “Maybe I didn’t understand it as a human, but I know what it means now. And I think you do, too, even if you won’t admit it.”

  “I wasn’t born a shifter, so I don’t even think I can have a True Mate.”

  “That mark on your arm says otherwise,” Shadow said in his whispery voice.

  “I want nothing to do with your little shifter parties,” Tadeu shot back. “You can have them and your orgies, too.”

  Kwame scowled, opening his mouth as if to protest, but I laid a gentle hand on his arm to stop him. “It’s okay,” I said. “No one has to be part of this who doesn’t want. That’s exactly why I wanted to have this conversation. Despite the mark I’ve put on all of you, I’m not going to hold anyone hostage, or even hold you to the promise implied by the mark. Your life is your own, and you can do what you like with it, Tadeu. If one day you change your mind, you can always come back to me.”

  My words may have sounded confident, but my heart was tearing apart inside me. Apparently, the marks affected me, too, now. At first, I’d thought only my men had felt bound to me by them. But I felt just as tied to them now, maybe because I’d been a shifter for a short time. All I knew was that Tadeu’s rejection felt more than personal. It felt like a betrayal.