Waiting for my Queen: A Dark Mafia Romance

by Cates, Georgia

  Emilia is something else.

  I tell her that I’m going to marry her whether she’s pregnant or not, and the baby-making efforts don’t stop. She’s been even more diligent the last few days. And while I’m not opposed to fucking her every morning and night, I’m in agony because I’m craving some blow like crazy.

  Whiskey and cigarettes aren’t cutting it anymore.

  I promised her I wouldn’t use during her fertility window, but cocaine is all I can think about. Even more than sex. It’s been too long, and I have to have it. I can’t go any longer without it.

  I reach into my nightstand drawer and take out the bag of cocaine, slipping it into my pocket, when Emilia goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

  “I’m going to be out late tonight,” I call out.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Vinny’s. He’s having a poker game at his place.”

  “When will you be back?”

  “Whenever we’re done playing.”

  “How long is that going to be?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She comes out of the bathroom wearing a sexy red nightgown. It must be new because I don’t remember seeing her in it. “Tonight could be the night. We really shouldn’t skip it.”

  “Relax, Emilia. I’m going to marry you if you aren’t pregnant.”

  “I know, but I’m eager to give you a son.”

  “And you will. I have no doubt about it.”

  She comes to me and reaches out, holding my face and kissing my lips. “Stay with me tonight. Please.”

  It’s tempting.

  But the coke in my pocket is more tempting.

  I grasp her wrists and pull her hands away, pressing a kiss to one of her palms. “I’ve gotta go. The guys are waiting for me.”

  “We aren’t even married yet, and you’re already bored with me.”

  “No. Absolutely not.”

  “To me, it feels like you are.”

  “I’m not bored with you. I swear.”

  She looks so sad. I hate doing this to her.

  “Will you wake me when you get home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t be gone too long, okay?”

  I’m trying to not become annoyed with Emilia. I know she wants me to stay because she’s trying to give me a son, but going this many days without coke has put me on edge. I’m highly irritable right now and barely hanging on by a thread. I can’t be near her right now.

  I need to get high so I can get my head right.

  I kiss the side of her face. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  Lie. I already know that I won’t be back before morning.

  She steps away, crossing her arms, wrapping them around herself. “All right.”

  She’s mad. Or hurt. I’m not sure which. But if I stay, she’s only going to be madder or more hurt. And I don’t want that.

  The music is loud and the smoke is thick when I enter Vinny’s house.

  “Fuck, you showed. I wasn’t sure you would,” Monte says.

  Vinny laughs. “Hell, I thought we were going to have to send out a search party for you because you’ve been so far up your betrothed’s ass.”

  “Not her ass. That way won’t get her pregnant.”

  “Damn, Luca. You’re not even married yet.”

  “Close enough. She’s going to be my wife in two weeks.”

  Monte shuffles the cards, and I take the cocaine out of my pocket. My hands tremble as I shake a portion out on the table.

  “What does your new ball and chain say about your coke habit?”

  “Fuck you. I don’t have a coke habit.”

  “Sure, you don’t.” Vinny laughs. “I don’t either.”

  “Does she do it with you?” Monte asks.

  “No fucking way. I’d never let Emilia do cocaine.”

  “You let me do it with you, and the sex we had afterward was unbelievable. Don’t you remember how good it was?”

  Angelica. Who the fuck invited her to this poker game?

  “I didn’t care if you did cocaine because I knew you were never going to be my wife or the mother of my children. Emilia is, and for that reason, I will never allow her health or safety to be at risk.”

  “Then I guess you’ll never experience coke sex with her. That’s too bad. I know how much you enjoy it.”

  “With Emilia, I don’t need coke.”

  “Right. That’s why you’re here snorting a rail instead of being at home with her.”

  Angelica takes the straw from my hand and leans down, snorting the blow I just prepared. When she finishes, she places the straw on the table beside my baggie. “You know how much I love coke sex. I’m ready and willing whenever you decide you want it again.”

  “You’ll have to do it with someone else. You and I are finished.”

  “We’ll see.”

  I lean in and grip Angelica’s chin. “We were over the instant Emilia became mine. I need you to be very clear about that because I won’t have you causing problems between us again. Do you understand?”

  “Oh, did I cause problems between you and your little princess?”

  I know Angelica well, and that underlying grin on her face tells me that she has no intentions of giving up so easily. She still wants me. She’s being very clear about it, but the feeling isn’t mutual.

  Starting over, I prepare another rail of blow. I inhale deeply, taking every granule of the powder up my nose. The euphoria hits soon after, and I’m fucking elated. I’ve been craving it for too many days.

  Flipping my cards over, I smile when I see the four of a kind in my hand, all queens, and I think about Emilia at home.

  My queen.

  Is there anything more splendid than your queen who patiently waits for you?

  Is there anything more precious than your queen who submits entirely to you?

  Is there anything more lovely than your queen who wants to please you?

  No. There’s nothing more breathtaking than the relationship between a king and his queen. Except a king and queen and their full house.

  21

  Emilia Bellini

  For someone to win, someone has to lose. And I don’t plan on losing.

  “This isn’t a good idea,” my mother says.

  “I don’t care. He skipped out on the last day of my fertility window. It could mean the difference in being pregnant or not, and I want this to be over with as soon as possible.”

  I say the words, and although they’re true, they aren’t the whole truth. I’m hurt that he didn’t come home last night or this morning without so much as a phone call.

  “He’s going to be furious when he comes home tonight and finds you gone.”

  It’ll serve him right. And a little taste of his own medicine will do him some good. “The bastard won’t be madder than I am right now.”

  “It isn’t the same thing and you know it.”

  “But it should be the same. My feelings shouldn’t be less important because I’m a woman.”

  I’m sick of being told that I must do this or that and it’s my place to smile and keep my mouth shut about it.

  “Luca Rossini has been raised to do as he pleases without concern for anyone else.”

  She’s got that right.

  “He will continue to do as he pleases for as long as I allow him to get away with it. That’s why I left.”

  “I’m afraid you aren’t going to accomplish what you hope for.”

  She’s never going to support me in this, so there’s no need to continue this conversation.

  “I’m tired and my toes are killing me. I’m going upstairs to soak in the tub.”

  “And what do I say when he calls or shows up here?”

  “Say whatever you like. I really don’t care.”

  I have about five minutes of peace before Mamma comes into the bathroom. “He’s on the phone.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “I have to tell him something.
”

  “Tell him to fuck off.”

  “Emilia… you know I can’t do that.”

  “If you make me get out of this tub and go to the phone, that’s what I’m going to say to him.”

  “Fine. I’ll make up something to tell him.”

  “Whatever you want to do.”

  I settle into the water and a dense layer of bubbles covers my shoulders. I place my hand on my stomach and think about what could possibly be going on inside me right now.

  The beginning of a miracle?

  Nothing?

  I wish I could know what’s happening in there right now. It seems like such a long time before I’ll be certain if anything I’ve done this week was worthwhile.

  I groan inwardly when I hear Mamma coming into my bathroom again.

  “I told him I asked you to come by after rehearsal. He agreed to let you stay over.”

  “Wonderful. I have his permission to spend time with my family.”

  “What is wrong with you? I’d think you’d be happy for the separation from him.”

  “I am. It’s not that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  He stayed out all night. I have no idea what he was doing, or who he was doing it with, but I strongly suspect cocaine was involved. And maybe Angelica.

  Thinking about it makes me feel ill.

  “I feel like I’ve lost the upper hand.”

  “That’s what being with a Mafia leader is. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of give and take, but for the woman, definitely more give than take.”

  “It’s not right. I shouldn’t have to give more than him. And right now, I’ve given everything.”

  I’ve lost so much and what has he lost?

  Nothing.

  “As women, it’s our plight.”

  It isn’t going to be my plight.

  I’m going to have the upper hand. Luca Rossini is going to love me. He’s going to want my heart and soul. And when I’m finished with him, he won’t be able to bear living without my love.

  But he’ll never have it.

  * * *

  I’m practicing my fouetté when Mamma comes into the studio. “Luca is on the phone.”

  “Tell him I’m practicing and can’t talk right now.”

  “He isn’t going to continue to settle for talking to me and not you.”

  “I don’t care what he settles for.”

  My mother sighs. “You’re going to cause some big problems by doing this.”

  “It wouldn’t be the first time I caused problems, now would it?”

  “I warned you when you chose Nicolò over Luca that there would be trouble. You didn’t listen to me then, but I’m hoping you’ll listen to me now.”

  “You’ve just been dying to say I told you so.”

  “You chose the weaker man, and now you’re paying for it.”

  “Luca chose to be a monster. Nic chose differently, but that doesn’t make him the weaker man.”

  “It does in this life.”

  Mamma was lucky. She fell in love with a boss. I didn’t.

  I prepare to repeat my fouetté. “Tell him I’m in my ballet studio practicing for the production, and I don’t want to be disturbed.”

  “I’ll tell him, but don’t be surprised when he comes over here and drags you back to his house by your hair.”

  “Let him try.”

  * * *

  I’m stepping out of the shower when Issy knocks on the bathroom door. “Your fiancé is on the phone, and he wants to talk to you. He said now.”

  This is getting old. “Tell him I’m getting ready to go to mass, and I don’t want to be late.”

  “I don’t want to tell him that. He already sounds pissed off.”

  “I don’t care if he’s pissed off.”

  “You should care. He’s not a very nice man. He could do bad things to you.”

  He’s already done bad things to me, and I survived. “I’m not afraid of him.”

  “Well, I am. So what should I say to him?”

  “I told you. I’m getting ready to go to mass, and I don’t want to be late.”

  “Come on, Em. I can’t say that.”

  “Then hang up on him. I don’t care.”

  “Are you kidding? That would be even worse. I don’t want him to be mad at me.”

  “Then tell him whatever you like.”

  “Fine.”

  Issy groans as she leaves and then returns a few minutes later. “I told him you were getting ready for mass because that’s not a lie. He said for you to call him when you get back from church.”

  I chuckle to myself. “Yeah, right. I’m really going to do that.”

  He left me hanging all night and then the next day too. He’ll get no less than forty-eight hours of retaliation if he wants to play this game with me.

  “Thank you, Issy.”

  Being back in church feels good. I’ve been away for too long. Committed too many sins without confession, and yet I can’t bring myself to visit Father Michael.

  How would I begin? What would I say?

  Leaving the church, I pretend that I don’t see the black Cadillac across the street with Sal and Luca inside. I pretend that I don’t know he’s here to check up on me. I also pretend that his car isn’t following us home.

  While I’m eager to hash this out, I’m also a little frightened because he’s come for me. Luca and I haven’t learned how to fight with each other yet. It’s a skill that takes practice. And I think I’m about to get some good experience.

  Mamma parks the car in the garage, and I’m the last to get out. When I do, he’s standing there waiting for me.

  “Emilia?” Mamma says.

  “I require some privacy with my fiancée,” Luca says.

  “It’s fine. Everyone go inside.”

  “Are you sure?” Gemma asks.

  I wonder what my sister thinks she’s going to do against Luca that I can’t.

  “I’m sure.”

  Luca waits until my family is inside the house to begin this fight, and I’m grateful.

  “You’ve been gone two days.”

  “I’m aware.”

  “Why aren’t you taking my calls?”

  “Why did you leave me at home all alone without so much as a phone call?”

  “Come on, Emilia. You knew where I was.”

  “You told me you would be back when the poker game was over. You were gone almost twenty-four hours by the time I left. Are you seriously going to try and tell me that you were at Vinny’s all that time?”

  “No.”

  “Where were you the rest of the time? And what were you doing?” And with whom?

  “The guys and I played poker all night, and then I went to work the next morning.”

  “Was she there?” He knows who I mean. There’s no need to say the whore’s name.

  “Yes.”

  “I knew it.” He was in the same place with her all night. Without me. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”

  “No, but if I had wanted to fuck her, I would have.” Luca places his hands on his hips and shakes his head. “We’ve had this conversation already, and I’m growing tired of it.”

  “Well, I’m not. I need to talk about this.”

  “Okay. Talk away then.”

  “Did she try to fuck you?”

  He sighs as though I’m boring him to death. “She always tries.”

  I bet she does.

  “You weren’t tempted?”

  “No. Why would I be when I have you?”

  “Did you do cocaine?”

  “Yes.”

  Something else I already knew.

  “Was that the real reason you left me and went to Vinny’s?”

  “Yes, but I kept my promise to you. I stayed clean for days. That’s a big deal.”

  “It’s not a big deal if you aren’t addicted.”

  “Fuck, Emilia. I’m nottt addicted. How many times do I have to tell you?”

  Saying it doesn
’t make it true.

  “You knew when you left that you weren’t coming home. You lied to me, and according to you, you have no reason to lie to me. So which is it?”

  “I lied because I didn’t want to upset you.”

  “But you did upset me.” You hurt me.

  “I didn’t mean to. I swear. And I’m sorry.”

  Trust can make something or destroy it. He’s broken my trust and it’s destroying any progress we’ve made with each other.

  “I’m not ready to go back with you.”

  “It’s cute that you think you have a choice.”

  “I’m not going.”

  “Stop being silly and get in the car.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You are, princess. I will throw you over my shoulder and stuff you in the back seat of the car if I have to.”

  “That’s what you’ll have to do because I’m not going voluntarily.”

  “I don’t want to force you, but I will.”

  Dammit. I’m fast but not when I’m wearing three-inch pumps. There’s no way I can outrun him in these shoes.

  I kick out of one and then the other.

  “Emilia… don’t make me come after you.”

  I don’t reply. Instead, I take off running for the front door. And I’m almost there when Luca’s arms wrap around my waist, lifting me from the ground and hoisting me over his shoulder.

  I beat my fists against his upper back, but he’s unfazed by my physical attack. “Put me down, you big putz.”

  “Nope. You’re coming home.”

  He carries me across the yard, and Sal opens the door to the back seat.

  “Traitor,” I tell Sal.

  He shrugs. “Sorry, Miss Bellini. He’s my boss.”

  “Well, he’s not my boss.”

  Luca roughly tosses me into the back seat and crawls in behind me. “I’m not your boss, you say?”

  I lift my chin in defiance. “No, you aren’t.”

  Luca reaches for the door handle but doesn’t pull it closed. “I need a private moment with Miss Bellini. Take a walk, and I’ll let you know when we’re ready to leave.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He shuts the door, and I slide across the seat to get away from him. “What are you going to do to me?”

  He removes his jacket and places it on top of the seat in front of him. “What do you think I should do to you?”