Carnival Caper

by Alex Milway

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Map

  1. Carnival Calling

  2. Floating an Idea

  3. Flock and Roll

  4. The Secret

  5. The Nocturnal Animals

  6. The Midnight Feast

  7. A Different Class of Guest

  8. Pamper Time

  9. The Riotous Rehearsal

  10. The Bust-up

  11. Demolition Day

  12. The Night Shift

  13. The Flurry of Flamingos

  14. The Emergency Meeting

  15. The Carnival

  16. Mr Ruffian’s Roar

  17. A Rough Time

  18. The Show Must Go On

  19. The Ballroom Blitz

  A Note From the Author

  Copyright

  For Katie

  1

  Carnival Calling

  Anna watched on as T. Bear and Stella decorated the front of Hotel Flamingo with giant feathery flamingos and shiny green palm leaves. Summer was officially over, but for the creatures of Animal Boulevard there was always something to celebrate. The highlight of autumn was the carnival, and as it was her first time Anna was keen to make a splash.

  ‘More flamingos, do you think?’ she said.

  ‘I suppose you can never have too many!’ said T. Bear.

  The carnival was seen as the last hoorah before winter set in. It was a celebration of life, a huge parade, with exciting music and wonderfully exotic food. Everybody joined in, and revellers travelled from miles around to take part.

  ‘All going well?’ croaked Mrs Toadly, appearing at Anna’s side. Mrs Toadly was a Carnival Director, and it was her job to ensure Animal Boulevard looked as wonderful as possible. At this time of year she never sat still, not even for a second. ‘Your display is looking mighty fine!’

  ‘Thank you!’ said Anna. ‘I thought we’d go for a pink theme.’

  ‘I noticed,’ said Mrs Toadly, laughing. ‘I saw it from the other side of town.’

  ‘Really?’ said Anna, not sure if that was a good or bad thing. ‘Too much, do you think?’

  ‘There’s no such thing as too much!’ said Mrs Toadly. ‘And that’s why I’m here, to reward you for all this effort. You’ve made such a big impression on everyone that I thought Hotel Flamingo should lead the parade.’

  ‘Lead it?’ said Anna. ‘At the very front?’

  ‘I take it you are entering a float?’ asked Mrs Toadly. ‘There’s a competition for the best display each year.’

  ‘What’s a float?’ asked Anna.

  ‘It’s an extravagant display on wheels,’ replied Mrs Toadly. ‘A truly terrific way to promote your hotel!’

  Anna never missed a chance to sell Hotel Flamingo, but it would be a lot of work in such a short space of time.

  ‘I’d have to ask the other staff to help,’ she said.

  ‘And don’t forget, if your float wins, you’ll get a Golden Palm!’ said Mrs Toadly. ‘It’s a mighty fine honour.’

  T. Bear climbed down from a ladder with giant flamingo wings draped over his shoulders. ‘Carnival is in my bones,’ he said. ‘I know what to do.’

  ‘So you’ll take part?’ asked Mrs Toadly.

  T. Bear whispered into Anna’s ear, ‘It’s usually Mr Ruffian and the Glitz Hotel who get the call to lead.’

  Anna knew she couldn’t refuse. ‘We’re in!’ she said.

  ‘Wonderful!’ exclaimed Mrs Toadly, bouncing into the air. She carried on down the road, leaping from foot to foot. ‘The parade runs from the Opera House to Boulevard’s Cat’s Paw sports arena. Make it as bright and colourful as you can imagine!’ she cried.

  ‘It’ll be the biggest and brightest, filled with dancers and music!’ said T. Bear. ‘Won’t it, Miss Anna?’

  ‘Yes, it will! We’re going to win that Golden Palm!’

  Anna and T. Bear walked inside, ideas filling both their heads.

  ‘We only have a week to go,’ said Anna, ‘so call a staff meeting. We must make plans. I’ll ask Ms Fragranti and her flamingos to join us!’

  ‘Brilliant idea,’ said T. Bear, clapping his paws together. He did a little dance. ‘This is going to be the greatest carnival ever seen!’

  2

  Floating an Idea

  Anna’s office was filled with all her staff.

  ‘We’re entering the carnival float competition,’ she said. ‘We will have flamingo dancers, but I want your ideas for our display. It has to be impressive!’

  ‘Who’s going to be building this float thing?’ asked Stella, raising an eyebrow.

  Anna blushed. ‘Ummm,’ she mumbled, ‘I was thinking we could all … well … help you?’

  Stella laughed. ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘I’ll add it to my list of jobs. Besides, I’m an old hand at carnival floats. What did you have in mind?’

  ‘A huge robotic flamingo that walks down the street!’ suggested T. Bear.

  ‘And breathes fire!’ added Lemmy.

  Stella looked uncertain. ‘Yeah. How long have I got?’ she asked.

  ‘We only have a week,’ said Anna.

  ‘I’m not saying it can’t be done,’ said Stella, ‘but …’

  ‘A magnificent, towering squid scone!’ declared Madame Le Pig. ‘We should celebrate our hotel’s pièce de résistance!’

  ‘Good thinking,’ said Anna, keeping the chef on side. ‘Let’s keep these ideas coming, but also remember how long we have to make it.’

  ‘You know,’ said Stella, rubbing her chin, ‘I actually do like T. Bear’s idea.’

  ‘Really?’ said Anna. ‘A giant flamingo?’

  ‘I have my old work van that’s doing nothing but gaining rust,’ added Stella. ‘I could probably make use of that.’

  ‘Will it be fire-breathing?’ asked Lemmy excitedly.

  ‘Let’s see what I can find lying around this place,’ said Stella. ‘You never know.’

  Lemmy punched the air.

  ‘We’re going to the party!’ said Eva happily.

  •

  As everyone got back to work, Anna scanned through the bookings and new arrivals for the day. New guests always proved a challenge and required special – or at least unique – treatment.

  On the list were a pair of skunks and a flock of parrots, as well as a peculiar group booking, which had been doodled around in red pen. This could only be the work of one member of staff, she thought.

  She called out to the front desk. ‘Lemmy?’

  ‘Yes?’ he said, poking his head round the door.

  ‘Who are the Nocturnal Animals, and why are there hearts drawn around them?’ she asked. ‘This is our official register of guests.’

  Lemmy blushed. ‘Sorry, miss. They’re a rock band,’ he said, a little embarrassed. ‘The biggest band in the world … my favourite band …’

  ‘The biggest band in the world? Staying here?!’ exclaimed Anna.

  ‘They’re playing a massive gig at the Cat’s Paw Arena after the carnival,’ said Lemmy. ‘Haven’t you seen the posters? It’s going to be huge!’

  ‘Why didn’t you mention this?’

  ‘They wanted it to be kept secret.’

  ‘But not from the hotel manager, surely?’

  Lemmy’s tail curled up and down. ‘No,’ he said sheepishly. ‘Just from all the fans. We’d be overrun if anyone found out about them staying here.’

  ‘I suppose that does make sense,’ said Anna. ‘So what time are the band arriving?’

  ‘Not till after midnight,’ he replied. ‘To keep things hush-hush!’

  ‘OK,’ said Anna. ‘I guess it’s going to be a late one then.’

  Lemmy rubbed his paws together excitedly. ‘And I can’t wait!�
��

  3

  Flock and Roll

  T. Bear met the new guests, fresh from a minibus.

  ‘Welcome to Hotel Flamingo!’ he said. ‘Make yourselves at home.’

  ‘Good morning!’ said Anna cheerfully. ‘Let me take your names, and we’ll get your keys ready.’

  ‘Mrs Kunkworth,’ said a skunk tentatively. She clutched a novel in her paws and played her claws nervously up and down its spine. ‘Room for two. I booked it a month ago. I think it’s all paid. Is it paid?’

  ‘That’s fine,’ said Anna calmly. ‘I have you here on the list.’

  ‘You do?’ said Mrs Kunkworth. ‘Oh, that’s a relief. I always worry I’ve got something wrong.’

  ‘Yes, we do worry,’ said Mr Kunkworth.

  ‘You’ve nothing to worry about now,’ said Anna. ‘We’ll look after you.’

  ‘That’s good,’ said Mrs Kunkworth. ‘We mostly sleep in the day as well. Is that in the notes?’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ said Anna. ‘Your beds are ready and waiting. If you need any food, please let us know in advance.’

  ‘Oh, we prepare our own food,’ said Mrs Kunkworth, looking to her husband. ‘We like to know what we’re eating, don’t we?’

  ‘We do,’ said Mr Kunkworth.

  ‘Whatever makes you happy,’ said Anna.

  There was a sudden squawk as six excitable parrots crashed through the revolving doors. ‘Sorry!’ announced the flock, jabbering to each other about who should go inside first.

  Mr Kunkworth flushed bright pink as a terrifically stinky smell rose about him.

  ‘Do you have our room key?’ asked Mrs Kunkworth hurriedly. ‘I’m so dreadfully sorry. It always happens when he gets a fright.’

  Anna covered her nose and attempted to smile. She handed over the room keys as Lemmy grabbed their bags.

  ‘This way!’ he garbled, struggling to breathe.

  Meanwhile, the parrots bundled their way inside, chattering and cheering.

  ‘’Ello!’ said the lead parrot with a wink. ‘Mac Macaw here. A room for six, please.’ He stopped moving, then his head tilted ominously. ‘But what is that smell?’ he asked, pretending to vomit. ‘That’s the strangest air freshener I ever smelled. Say, Lil, you get a whiff of that?!’

  Another parrot pretended to faint and fell over. The other parrots giggled and squawked, and Lil opened her eyes and laughed.

  ‘We’ve had a little accident,’ said Anna apologetically.

  ‘Little?’ said Lil. ‘I’ve smelled better stinks on the belly of a mouldy old sloth!’

  ‘It’ll pass soon,’ said Anna. ‘I hope.’ She collected room keys for the birds and handed them over. ‘Room 360,’ she said, collecting some luggage. ‘Just a short hop in the lift.’

  ‘Woohoo! I’ll be glad to get out of this smell,’ said Mac, flapping a wing back and forth across his beak. ‘Oh yeah – I almost forgot – did you get the note about beds?’

  ‘Note?’ asked Anna.

  ‘You see, beds are great for flowers,’ Mac said cheerfully, ‘but what we need is a long branch – or a pole. We aren’t fussy.’

  ‘I’ll get that sorted right away,’ she said.

  ‘Nice,’ said Mac, smiling. ‘Thanks.’

  Anna returned to her desk. ‘I think I’d better call Hilary,’ she said, picking up the phone. ‘Though what might get rid of that smell, I don’t know.’

  And there can be no more loud, sudden noises near Mr and Mrs Kunkworth, she thought.

  •

  Hilary set to work on the smell while Anna searched for Stella, eventually finding her scrabbling through the shed. She was tossing bits of wood, chunks of metal and anything that might be useful for the float out into the open.

  ‘I know you’ve got a lot on,’ said Anna, ‘but I’ve got some guests needing a bit of help.’

  ‘What’s that then?’ asked Stella, bending her head and neck out of the shed.

  ‘We need a branch for six parrots,’ said Anna. ‘Beds are no good for them.’

  ‘It’ll have to be strong to hold that many,’ said Stella, sucking in air. ‘Won’t be easy.’

  ‘I know,’ said Anna. ‘But we must have something.’

  Stella nodded. ‘I was doing some work downstairs yesterday and saw some leftover curtain rods,’ she said.

  ‘Will they be strong enough?’ asked Anna.

  ‘You tell me,’ said Stella. ‘Let me go and look.’

  ‘Thank you, Stella,’ Anna said, heading back to her office. She sighed. The week had only just begun, and it wasn’t going to get any easier.

  4

  The Secret

  Stella dragged Anna excitedly downstairs.

  ‘So I pulled out the poles from behind the cupboard,’ said Stella, ‘which are perfect for the parrots, by the way – and found these doors.’

  ‘Where do they lead?’ asked Anna.

  ‘No idea!’ said Stella, shaking her head. ‘Judging by how much the wallpaper has faded around them, I reckon they haven’t been seen for at least fifty years.’

  ‘Not even T. Bear would have been working here then,’ said Anna.

  The worn metal double doors were chained and locked with a rusty iron padlock. Anna tugged it to be sure it was locked. It was.

  ‘In all the time I’ve been at Hotel Flamingo,’ she said, ‘these doors have been hiding right underneath my nose. If only we had a key!’

  ‘We don’t need a key,’ said Stella, pulling some heavy-duty bolt cutters from her belt. ‘Out the way – oh, and watch your eyes.’

  With a grunt and a spot of brute strength Stella cut the chain clean in two. It clanked noisily to the floor. ‘After you,’ she said.

  Anna teased open the doors, slightly fearful of what lay beyond. The rusted door hinges squealed horribly.

  ‘I’ll get some oil,’ said Stella.

  ‘No you won’t!’ ordered Anna. ‘You’ll stay right here until we get the lights on.’

  ‘Try this,’ said Stella, switching on her torch.

  She passed it to Anna, who pointed it through the opening. She was almost too shocked for words.

  The room was so vast that it dwarfed the lobby – it was almost as big as the whole of the ground floor put together. Anna couldn’t make out much of the details in the gloom, but her heart started to sing.

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ she said, dragging the beam from left to right. ‘It’s a ballroom!’

  ‘Who’d have thought it?’ said Stella. ‘Right beneath our feet all that time!’

  ‘Get the lights working,’ pleaded Anna.

  Stella found the light switches, and after a few minutes of testing the wiring and fiddling with fuses, the ballroom was lit up in a dazzling golden glow. Anna’s eyes opened impossibly wide and sparkled in the light.

  With billowing chandeliers and faded yet impeccably stylish wall decorations, the ballroom was wide enough for a herd of elephants to line-dance side by side, and long enough for a hundred-strong conga snake.

  ‘Seeing this almost makes me want to put on my dancing shoes,’ said Stella.

  ‘You like to dance?’ asked Anna.

  ‘Oh no. These hooves are made for changing light bulbs, not the cha-cha-cha!’ said Stella. ‘Still, I admit, it’s quite something.’

  Anna walked to the end of the ballroom and found a wide, ornate staircase that wound upwards. ‘Where does this lead?’ she asked.

  ‘Only one way to find out,’ said Stella.

  They climbed up to find their path blocked by a barricade of wood and stone.

  ‘Looks like we’ve something else to discover,’ said Stella.

  ‘Another door upstairs?’ said Anna.

  ‘You’d want a proper entrance for the guests in the lobby, wouldn’t you?’ said Stella.

  ‘Of course you would,’ said Anna, still amazed. ‘Can we open it up?’

  Stella rolled her eyes. ‘Another thing for my list,’ she said, laughing.

  5

  The
Nocturnal Animals

  The tour bus arrived in the dead of night, its lights sparkling in the falling rain. Autumn was rearing its blustery head earlier than usual, but T. Bear and Anna were prepared. They had umbrellas at the ready.

  ‘Remember,’ said Anna, ‘they asked for secrecy!’

  ‘Don’t worry, miss,’ said T. Bear, puffing out his chest to make himself bigger and more imposing. T. Bear could be quite the bodyguard when he needed to be.

  The hotel was fully at sleep, but for two fruit bats enjoying a late-night mango cocktail in the Piano Lounge. Lemmy took them a bowl of dried apricot chips and walked back to the lobby, certain that they wouldn’t bother them.

  ‘I can’t believe the band are here!’ he said, unable to contain his excitement. ‘Do you think they’ll sign my tail?’

  ‘I think we should be professional about their stay,’ said Anna. ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘Sorry,’ muttered Lemmy. ‘It’s just too exciting.’

  Under the cover of the umbrellas they ventured outside, and T. Bear opened the tour-bus door. ‘Evening, all,’ he said. ‘Welcome to –’

  A rather angry-looking honey badger trudged down the bus steps. His large-collared shirt was unbuttoned to his stomach, and a garish necklace hung low from his neck. He flashed a furious look at the sky.

  ‘I hate rain,’ he interrupted. ‘Everything in place and ready for us?’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ said Anna.

  ‘Better be,’ he replied. He held out his paw to Anna. ‘Mr Sweet. Manager of the band.’

  ‘Ms Dupont,’ said Anna. ‘Manager of the hotel.’

  The honey badger’s handshake was firm to painful, and Anna was convinced his claws were purposely digging into her hand.

  ‘Now, you listen good,’ said Mr Sweet. ‘And you pass these words on to your staff. You don’t look at the band. You don’t talk to the band. You don’t ask for signatures or photos with the band. You got it?’