Attack of the BULLIES

by Michael Buckley

  She fell over onto the floor, fighting the hallucinations. She needed air, so she ripped off her mask, which only seemed to open the door to a flood of new visions. There was a library at an elementary school, and a little flying globe just like Benjy. There was a yellow rocket and a boy with humongous buck teeth. And with each memory there came a peculiar emotion—a mixture of joy and excitement and tenderness. If she hadn’t known better, she might have guessed it was love. What was happening to her? She couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t stand. These kids’ arrival had caused her to suffer.

  But the mask could protect her. The mask made everything simple. It was her shield and her weapon. It told her who she was. She slipped it back on, and all at once her head was clear. She also knew exactly what she had to do.

  “Retreat!” she called. She darted through the hole in the wall and sprinted for the bus. Her team followed, slack-jawed and confused. She dove on board and raced to her seat. Alex was waiting. He had a worried expression on his face. She would explain to him what happened. He would listen.

  When the kids tumbled onto the bus, she commanded the lunch lady to drive. But someone was blocking their path—the real president. He peered through the window at his twin, his mouth agape.

  “Who are you?” he stammered.

  Miss Information smiled. “Show him, Tessa.”

  Tessa mushed her face back to normal. “It’s me,” she said, nearly spitting the words at him.

  “Tessa?”

  “We’re done here. Let’s go, lunch lady!” Miss Information ordered.

  The Antagonist revved the bus’s engine and two soldiers dragged President Lipton away. With its path clear, the School Bus ignited its rockets and lifted into the air. Seconds later, it shot into the sky.

  “Look, Tessa!” Funk said. “They’re arresting your dad.”

  Tessa looked out the window. Suddenly, her glee changed to something resembling concern, but Miss Information was too busy working out her next scheme to give the girl much thought. She finally knew how to take over the world and destroy her greatest enemies at the same time. She needed to get to work.

  “Get in here,” Sarah said when Ruby finally staggered home from school. “We’re in crisis mode.”

  Ruby took a deep breath. Her mother knew. Of course she knew! Video of the fight had to be on every channel in the world by now. Her whole family probably saw it on the news. Her secret life was over. It was time to come clean.

  “Mom, I can explain everything, but you need to listen—”

  “Whatever it is, it’s going to have to wait,” Francis said, rushing into the room with Noah in his arms and Truman following at his heels. “The hotel we booked for the entire family had to close. Their furnace went out and the water pipes froze. They burst and the rooms are flooded. We’ve called every hotel, motel, YMCA, and youth hostel within a hundred miles, but everyone is booked solid.”

  Ruby was confused. Hadn’t they been watching the news? Hadn’t they seen the epic battle at the White House?

  “So we have a plan B,” Francis said. “Promise you won’t freak out.”

  Ruby couldn’t seem to shift gears. “Um—”

  “They have to stay here,” Sarah said. “With us.”

  Her mother and father stood cringing as if Ruby were a stick of dynamite with a dwindling fuse. Even Noah and Truman watched with nervous baby eyes and a nervous wagging tail.

  “Um, OK. Did you see the news?” Ruby asked.

  “Yeah, a little bit. The president went crazy or something. They arrested him. The old folks and the kids have been battling over the TV all day, so unless it was part of a documentary on World War Two or a story involving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, we didn’t hear much about it. Did you hear what we said? The entire family is staying here.”

  Ruby shook her head to unclog the gunk in her brain. So they didn’t know—at least not yet. It was just a matter of time, though. There had been reporters everywhere when the kids were fighting Miss Information and her gang of misfits. Someone had to have gotten a shot of Ruby’s face. “Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Sure, what is it honey?” her mother asked.

  “In private.”

  “Yeah, OK,” Sarah said. “Let’s go to your room.”

  Ruby tried to think of what to say to her family. How did she start a story as long and as involved as hers? Mom, Dad, I’m a spy. I have robots in my body. I save the world during school hours. I just got into a fistfight with the president’s daughter in the Oval Office. There was no time to come up with an easy way to tell them about her secret life. It would be a huge shock, but it wasn’t fair to—

  “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?” Ruby cried when she opened her bedroom door.

  Every drawer was open. All of her books, pens, clothes, and shoes were scattered on the floor. Board games had been opened and their pieces thrown about like confetti. Her comforter had been used as a makeshift fort, held down by dirty bricks taken from the corner of the garage. A package of cookies had clearly been stepped on and mashed into her carpet, and several juice box containers had leaked onto her pillows. Her neat, super-organized sanctuary smelled of pungent, sweaty children.

  “The kids needed a place to play,” Sarah explained. “It’s no big deal. We’ll clean it up.”

  Suddenly, Ruby’s entire body broke out in angry, red welts. Her feet swelled so much that her toes felt like they might burst through her sneakers. Her armpits itched, her nose ran with snot, her ears were clogged and scratchy, and her eyes felt as if someone had rubbed lemons on them. Ruby was allergic to a messy room, but she was even more allergic to being exhausted.

  “They ruined everything! You know how I feel about my stuff.”

  “Ruby, they’re your family. You’re just going to have to roll with the punches,” her mother insisted.

  “NO! This house already has two and a half slobs living in it!” she shouted. “Now you want to invite in a hundred more and give them my room? Well, I won’t do it! It wasn’t my idea to invite everyone here for the holidays, so why should I suffer? These people don’t even like each other. They bicker the whole time about which religion slash baseball team slash bagel is the best. They never stop talking, they trash the house, and then they try to guilt us because the two of you apparently aren’t raising me and Noah right. I don’t know why you had to invite them!”

  Ruby heard a slight cough and looked to her right. Her entire extended family was standing in the doorway, listening.

  “Someone is getting coal for Christmas,” Cousin Finn said.

  “Ruby Tallulah Peet!” Sarah cried. “You apologize this minute.”

  Grandma Tina shook her head. “She’s right. We should head home. This is too much for you folks.”

  “Mom, don’t you dare take a step toward that door,” Sarah said. “You are more than welcome here.”

  “Ruby, I think you need to spend a little time in your room thinking about being rude to the people who love you,” Francis said as he slammed shut her bedroom door.

  Ruby scooted the juice boxes off her pillow and threw herself onto her bed. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, bewildered by what she had just done. Sure, there were going to be something like fifty thousand people sleeping in her home that night, but why get so angry? Normally, she would have been thrilled with the chance to find a truckload of inflatable mattresses and quilts. She could have happily taken over the whole operation. So, why wasn’t she?

  Was it really about her family’s bickering and the kids going through her sock drawers? No, she knew it wasn’t. Her messy room was just a reflection of her messy life. It felt like one layer of trouble was stacked on top of another, and then another, like a birthday cake of chaos.

  And she had taken all of it out on her family. She needed to apologize.

  She got up from her bed, ready to throw herself at the mercy of the entire Peet/Kaplan clan, when she heard a message alert coming from the computer
in her backpack. She popped it open and found an encrypted e-mail from Duncan. She ran the decryption program and found a link to a video on a news website. A reporter stood in front of the busted fence outside the White House.

  “Folks, this isn’t some big-budget Hollywood movie,” he said. “Superheroes are real. I’m here at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the scene of a battle right out of a comic book. As we reported earlier, President Lipton was arrested for leading an assault on the White House. Rumors circulated that he was with a group of superpowered children. We can now confirm that those rumors are true. We’ve got footage of the event, and I assure you, this is the real thing.”

  The reporter vanished and a video of the fight replaced him. Ruby’s heart sank, fully expecting to recognize her face or those of her teammates.

  “As you can see, one of these so-called superkids can fly. The other seems to be able to create things with the braces on his teeth. Now here’s one who appears to be able to create sonic booms with her voice. But most shocking of all is an exclusive image of President Lipton commanding a boy to fire what appears to be exploding mucus at Secret Service agents.”

  Ruby watched intently. She saw Flinch leaping into the air and Duncan spraying glue out of his fingers and her own poofy hair as she fought Tessa Lipton disguised as the president, but the camera was shaky. There wasn’t a steady shot of anyone’s face. Could they really have been so lucky?

  The reporter’s voice returned. “As we’ve reported, there is no information on what prompted the president’s actions or where these superpowered children came from. We’ve been told that President Lipton is in custody at the Pentagon. Sources say he is refusing to cooperate with the CIA and the FBI. At the moment, we have no comment from the White House or from the First Lady, but it is assumed that Vice President James Stephenson will be sworn in as soon as possible.”

  The video switched to a wrinkly old man with an angry face. He wore a suit and stood at a podium in front of a room of reporters.

  “The Senate majority leader had this to say about the incident,” the reporter said.

  “When I was a kid if we wanted to go somewhere we walked! Now the sky is overrun with flying children. Clearly, the president is behind this. Perhaps he was some kind of sleeper agent. These kids could be Russians, North Koreans, or even aliens from another planet. But I believe this wild act of violence and these superpowered children are a direct result of playing too many video games. With the beeps and the boops and the cranky birds. It rots their brains. I think the good people of this country are starting to realize that video games are the cause of all the world’s problems—that and rock music.”

  Ruby closed her laptop and sighed. It was a miracle that the NERDS had not been identified. Maybe her life wasn’t falling apart after all.

  Suddenly, her scalp began to itch. She leaped from her seat and swung her leg around, connecting with the man that stood next to her bed. She clipped his chin and he fell backward, knocking over a lamp.

  “I’m allergic to being snuck up on,” Ruby said. “I’m also allergic to strangers crawling in through my bedroom window, creepy grown-ups, and being underestimated.”

  “Are you Ruby Peet?” the man asked as he staggered to his feet.

  Ruby leaped forward with fists clenched. She threw several punches, connecting with the man’s jaw and sending him into a shelf that held her trophies for Best Gift Wrapping.

  The man was well trained. He threw his own punches, aiming for her chest and gut. She tumbled into her desk, knocking a piggy bank to the floor and shattering it. Change rolled all over the floor. That hurt—a lot. She knew if she didn’t want to feel another hit, she needed to calm down and let her allergies tell her what to do.

  Her tongue was swollen, which meant he was about to deliver a knee to her face. She blocked it and kicked his other leg out from under him. A pronounced wheeze in her lungs meant he was going to put her in a bear hug, but she squirmed out of the way and clunked him on the head with her computer. A weepy eye told her that she needed to step to the right to avoid an uppercut. The man swung with all his strength, throwing himself off-balance. He slammed onto the floor with a thud and Ruby leaped on top of him, twisting his arm into a chicken wing.

  “If you want to keep throwing that tantrum, you should be prepared to be grounded for two weeks, young lady!” her father shouted through her closed door.

  “If you want to keep getting beat up, you’re going to have to do it more quietly,” Ruby hissed at her attacker.

  “Kid, I’m not here to fight you. I work for the Secret Service. I know who you are. I know who you work for.”

  “Who sent you?”

  “General Savage.”

  Ruby snarled.

  “He just wants to have a conversation.”

  “The general?”

  “No, the president. Can you let me up?”

  “The president doesn’t have security clearance high enough to talk to me,” Ruby said. “Besides, isn’t he in jail?”

  “Yes, an innocent man has been arrested, and you’re involved. The very least you could do is go talk to him, kid.”

  Deep within the Pentagon, the president sat in a bare room. His hands were cuffed together and he looked exhausted.

  “So it’s true,” he said when Ruby sat down in front of him.

  She frowned. “What’s true, sir?”

  “This country has a spy organization made up of superpowered children,” he said. There was a manila folder on the table with the words TOP SECRET printed on it. He pushed it toward her, but she didn’t open it. She already knew what was in it and who had given it to him.

  “Let’s talk about your daughter, sir.”

  “Is she one of you?”

  Ruby shook her head. “No, but she’s being led by someone who used to be a member of our team.”

  The principal opened his folder and peered at a document inside. “Yes, the librarian—Viktoriya Deprankova.”

  “We prefer to call her Ms. Holiday.”

  “She’s now calling herself Miss Information, right?”

  “I can’t tell you anything, sir.”

  “I’m the president, young lady.”

  “I understand. But you’re not my boss,” she said.

  The president growled. “Then tell Tessa’s father. That was her today, right?”

  Ruby nodded. She had seen his daughter’s transformation herself. Tessa could change her appearance at will. Miss Information appeared to have built her own upgrade chair and filled her BULLIES full of nanobytes.

  “Does it have to do with that virus? The one that made everybody criminals?”

  Ruby shook her head. “I can’t be certain that Tessa is not under the influence of something, but it’s not the virus. I want you to know that we’re working hard to find her and stop her—”

  “Good. I’ve directed the CIA to take command of the search,” the president interrupted. “They’ll be joining you in your headquarters—the one you call the Playground. I understand you have an incredible amount of technology at your disposal. We’ll need it to find my daughter and stop that madwoman. You and the other kids will support their efforts. General Savage has agreed to come in and head up the mission. I think that will work well since you already have a working relationship with him.”

  Ruby swallowed hard. “And when it’s all over and Tessa is safe and sound, what happens to us?”

  The president blinked. “You?”

  “Yes, what happens to NERDS? Will the CIA go away and let us do our work in peace?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, young lady,” the president said as two men in lab coats entered the room. One was holding a hypodermic needle. “In the meantime these doctors need a little blood test. I’m sure you don’t mind.”

  Suddenly, Ruby let out a huge sneeze.

  “Ruby, I’m going to get you out of there.”

  She had never been so happy to hear Heathcliff’s voice.

 
All of a sudden, the lights went out, and she sprang to her feet and darted into the dark hallway, with confused and angry guards in hot pursuit. Ruby was allergic to slamming face-first into walls, so she didn’t have to slow down as Heathcliff fed her turn-for-turn directions. Finally, she pushed a fire exit door open and ran into the night. The principal was in his Jeep, waiting for her by the side of the road.

  “They know about us,” Ruby said.

  The principal nodded. “I know.”

  “What do we do?”

  “We do what Brand told us to do. We destroy the Playground.”

  Heathcliff Hodges collected his few possessions: a pair of sneakers, some clothes, a stack of notebooks, a framed photo of his parents, and the assorted parts of Benjamin. He tossed them into a backpack just as the door flew open.

  “Grab your things,” Jackson Jones shouted. “We’ve lost our lease! Everything must go! Take whatever isn’t nailed down and meet the team in the control center.”

  Heathcliff veered toward the science room. He found Duncan racing from one table to the next, snatching things and shoving them into two huge duffel bags.

  “We should take the jet packs,” Heathcliff said.

  Duncan nodded. “I took three. That’s as much as I could carry. There’s some exploding bubble gum back there that could be useful.”

  “Actually, I was hoping I might find the potion they wanted to use on my parents.”

  Duncan frowned. “I don’t know. I never met the team assigned to it. It could be anywhere.”

  Heathcliff stared out at the hundred workstations.

  “Attention, all personnel.” An amplified voice echoed through the Playground. “This is the principal. The Playground has been compromised. Agents of the federal government are on their way. I’m activating Directive 86 right now. You have two minutes to leave or you’re staying forever. This is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test.”