Hear Me Now

by Brittany Bly

  A moan rumbles deep in his chest with each sway of my hips. His hands wander up caressing the sides of my breasts as he grips me tight around the waist. I’m about to come out of my skin with all the tingles coursing through me and the heat pooling deep in my core. It’s all becoming too much.

  Blaine spins me around, wrapping his arms around my waist, his hands resting right above my ass. Our eyes are locked, and it’s like that invisible tether I’ve always felt with him is drawn tight, about to snap. He leans closer with each breath, his eyes are locked on my lips like they’re a target that he can’t deviate from. But before he can make it, someone walks over placing their hand on his shoulder, snaking it down his back. Breaking our stare, one of the bimbos from earlier is smirking at his side as she whispers into his ear.

  I jump back, iciness sliding down my limbs encasing me fully. Blaine’s mouth opens, but I don’t give him a chance. I spin on my heels and shove my way through the dance floor, and I don’t stop there. I continue out the door and into the misty night, not even stopping to find Marissa.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Closing my door, I lean against it. My palms flat upon it for a moment to collect my thoughts… or what’s left of them. My mind is all over the place, and I just want it to be quiet. I’m tired of the nagging that gives me no rest from the conflicting voices in my head. I don’t make it far from the door before there’s a knock. I take a few more steps in the opposite direction, just wanting to ignore it. But that invisible tether tells me who’s on the other side of the door and won’t allow me to continue. I run my hand down the door face, leaning my forehead against the wood, “Blaine, just go away.”

  “No,” it’s barely above a whisper, but the conviction in his voice tells me he isn’t going anywhere.

  I take a deep breath and open the door, placing my hand on the inside of the doorframe. Just because I opened the door, doesn’t mean he’s coming in “What are you doing here?”

  “Because I’m not letting you run again,” Blaine says suddenly coming closer and gently grabbing my cheeks bringing his lips to mine and kissing me.

  The passion I felt on the dance floor comes back with the same force knocking into me, almost taking my breath. My muscles relax, and I lean into him, letting his lips move with mine. His hand moves from my cheek to the back of my neck, locking me in place. That invisible tether wraps around us, causing my heart to swell. My brain shuts off, and I finally have the quiet I want, here in this moment with him.

  But too soon, my inner bitch comes suddenly from within, and anxiety grips me tight as realization takes hold. Pulling away, I step back holding my hands up. Blaine’s face draws up in confusion, “What’s wrong?”

  “We can’t do this. Better yet, we aren’t doing this,” I say taking a step back. I can see his face morphing as determination takes root. Holding my hands up again, I stop him, “No.”

  Blaine turns, running his hand through his hair as he starts to pace the small space of my porch. He whirls, yelling out in frustration, “Why?! Do you get joy from this? Is that what this is? Some form of payback for the wrong you think I did?”

  My eyes widen, his outburst surprises me, but it quickly turns to anger “That’s what you think this is? Revenge?”

  “Well hell, it seems to be in your nature,” he says, resuming his pacing. After a couple laps, he starts mumbling more to himself than actually speaking to me, lost in his own thoughts. “You would think leaving would be plenty of revenge.”

  My mouth drops open as I listen to the thoughts leaking from his brain. Words not meant to be shared. I can’t contain myself – watching him pace and listening to his crazy ramblings “That’s what you think? That I left as some type of retaliation? Maybe I handled it wrong, but no matter how you twist it, you cheated on me!”

  Blaine looks over at me as if he just realizing I’m still here. His eyes focus on me, and he shakes his head, “I’m not the bad guy that you claim I am.”

  I look at him, really look at him. And I see a man that may be a rockstar to everyone in the world; but here in front of me, he is a broken man. I’m unaware of what he endured during our time apart, but I can tell it was a dark time. Thoughts creep in, and I begin to blame myself for the unknown events that he endured. I don’t let them get far before I push them away. Those years weren’t all sunshine and roses for me either. I may have started it, but I didn’t create what he became. I’m nearly a fraction of it.

  I begin to walk away, but he’s beside me before I realize it. He takes hold of my wrist and spins me to face him “You don’t get to walk away again.”

  “You don’t get a say in that,” I say yanking away from him.

  “How is it so easy for you? Did I really mean that little to you?”

  “Easy? You think it was easy for me?” I ask, my chest heaving. My lungs refuse to release the breath contained within them. We’re almost chest to chest as I bare my teeth to him.

  “You walked away without a backward glance, hell, without even a text!” he says, his jaw ticking.

  He steps back, giving us space.

  “What would you have had me do… sit around and wait for you to decide I was what you wanted?!” I yell, tears brimming in my eyes. I inhale deep trying to catch my breath and calm the raging feeling inside me.

  “It was never a question! You… you were all I ever wanted. God, even now, after everything… you’re it for me” he says, shoving his hands through his hair. Once more, he stares at me, a deep sadness settling in his eyes “I never once gave you a reason to distrust me, and yet, you left calling me a liar without giving me a chance to explain.”

  My heart kicks up, beating faster as his allegation hits home. I’d been so focused on the act that I let it wipe away everything else we had. He’s right. Even though leaving had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, I left him while he had tried to save us. He actually attempted to contact me, to explain and to hear my side of the experience; but me… I just left.

  What kind of person does that to someone they love? No matter how justified I felt with my actions, I’d been cold to him. Staring at the eyes I love so much, a hollowness cracks open inside me. I did this to him. I’m the cause of the pain hiding behind his green eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” I say my voice coming out as a whisper “I can’t explain the feeling of seeing you with her that night… I just knew seeing you again would only make those feelings that much stronger. I chose self-preservation… I thought it was best… clearly, I was wrong. I mean, look at us… with the time that has passed, our feelings have done nothing but fester and grow within both of us.”

  “I’ve been living in a void… if you even want to call it living at all. But that day I walked in and saw you standing there in the hotel. I thought it was a joke at first. I hadn’t seen you in five years, how could you now be within my grasp?” He takes a few steps towards me, before stopping and giving us both enough space but also close enough to be within reach. “Give me a sign… just one sign that you still love. I’m tired of feeling lost and simply wandering in this void.”

  The songwriter is always there, he has a way of conveying emotions most people don’t want to deal with into something beautiful. It’s what makes him… him. All those honest feelings slam into me. No words leave my mouth. How could he still love me like this after what I did? My mother had been right this entire time. I ran and left him in confused and angry all this time.

  Would I have forgiven him if it had been the other way around?

  Probably not.

  Shaking his head, he backs up toward the door, “I knew before I asked that I was wasting my breath. You made your decision long ago. But I had to try.”

  He’s leaving.

  My heart pounds as I watch him cross the space and reach for the door. Emotions begin rushing forward, feelings that I’ve buried deep for years. I forced them down each time they tried to come to light. But I knew the minute I saw him at
the hotel, my feelings hadn’t diminished, and they would no longer allow me to lock them away. He swings the door open and “I love you” bursts from my lips, causing him to halt midstep.

  With his back to me, he says, “What did you say?”

  For a moment, I don’t respond. I know my confession’s true. I do love him. I’d never stopped honestly. I’d just been shoving those feelings down all these years hoping they would disappear, but they hadn’t. Staring at his back, every muscle tenses and is locked in place as he waits for my response. I say, once more, “I love you.”

  He turns slowly, looking at me, his face searching for any lies or falsehood to my outburst “I have waited a long time to hear those words from your lips again. Please… don’t be cruel and say them if you don’t mean it.”

  I close the space between us, standing directly in front of him and hold his gaze “I’m sorry I waited so long to say them. I don’t want to waste any more time.” Standing on my tiptoes, I press my lips to his, and I feel the tension leave his body. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. He takes what has belonged to him and only him all along – my heart, my body, and everything in between.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  This is where I was meant to be all along, in his arms.

  The more I tried to fight it, the harder it became. It started taking a toll on me. But here, my thoughts have calmed, and the only thing present is warm and pleasant feelings. Resting my cheek on his toned chest, I enjoy the calm and utter bliss that’s filling my mind.

  Blaine’s fingers trace the length of my back – just a featherlight touch. Goosebumps erupt in there wake and shivers run up and down my spine. Only he can do this to me, make me feel this way. No matter how I tried to move on, nothing compared to this. How do people settle for anything less than tingles and butterflies? To never feel these emotions and this completion with someone else.

  “What are you thinking?” Blaine’s husky voice rumbles against my cheek.

  “I’m just wondering how some people live without feeling this way,” I say running my fingers through the dip between his pecs, tangling my fingers in his chest hair.

  He kisses the crown of my head “Some aren’t so lucky.”

  “I can’t help but feel sorry for them,” I whisper into his skin. I raise my head, resting my chin on him now. Glancing up toward him, I’m met by his beautiful green eyes.

  Averting my gaze, I look back down to his chest before looking back to him, “I’m sorry I was so stubborn.”

  Reaching out, he grazes my cheek “We move forward, okay?”

  Slowly, I raise up bearing my naked chest to him as I inch my way up. I hover above him, my hair falling around us. I lower myself down claiming his lips with mine… claiming him as mine.

  ×××

  Tingles wake me. Blaine’s fingers run the length of my naked body, moving from my neck all the way down to right below my knees. Déjà vu hits me as I remember my dream in Ireland. Much the same, except now, it’s real. He’s actually here. He kisses the back of my neck, and I shiver as the goosebumps ravish me. I scoot closer to him, my skin touching his. Smiling, I wiggle my ass. He groans, pulling me close and squeezing me tight.

  “Good morning,” I say my voice sounding sleepy.

  “Good morning,” he mumbles into my back.

  I wiggle out of his grasp and roll so that I’m facing him. I can’t help but stare and take him in. His hair is a mess, but it’s sexy as hell. Sleep is yet another thing that looks good on him. I reach out tracing my finger along the new hair on his jaw and then trail up to his lip lightly touching the small piece of metal.

  I inch forward. He watches me the entire time. Maintaining eye contact, I lean forward kissing his mouth; then ever so slowly, I take his bottom lip between my teeth and bite the lip ring.

  Hissing, he grips my hips and yanks me against him. I suck, massaging it with my tongue before releasing.

  When I pull away, his eyes reveal precisely how he’s feeling. Lust clouds them, and his fingers dig into my skin; but it’s not painful, quite the opposite. I squeeze my thighs together as the pressure increases, and I bite my bottom lip suppressing a moan.

  Before I can release my flesh, I gasp as I’m rolled and now flat on my back with Blaine above me. The sheet is pulled down in the process. His eyes are flicking between my eyes, lips, and now visible breasts. He kisses me, taking my lip between his teeth and biting, hard. My back arches and my breasts rub against his hard chest. My eyes roll in the back of my head.

  Letting go, he grabs my breasts, massaging one then the other before gliding down to rest on my hip.

  “Why did you stop?” I ask breathlessly.

  A devilish smile appears as he brushes the hair out of my face kissing me softer this time “You are sexy as hell. I’ve wanted to be here for… too long and I’m seriously reconsidering my career choice at this point.” Exhaling, he shakes his head before resting his forehead on mine “I have to go. We’re meeting at the studio this morning.”

  I tilt my head up and kiss his nose “That’s okay. Do you want some breakfast before you go?”

  “I can’t, I really need to head that way. They will flip shit if they get there and I’m not” he leans back so he can look at me “I can come back later? If you want me to, that is.”

  I tap my finger on my chin looking up to the ceiling “Hmm, I don’t know.”

  He takes his fingers lower, rubbing small circles between my legs. That little touch is even about to push me over the edge. When my back arches, he takes my nipple in his mouth, applying light pressure. “You still unsure?” he mumbles.

  “You can come back,” I gasp.

  Letting go, he grins down at me, “Okay, if you really want me to.” He glances over at the clock, exhaling loudly, “I really do have to go.”

  “I understand, I’ll see you later” I smile craning my neck to kiss him on the lips.

  A quick peck is all it is before he rolls over climbing out of bed. I lean up on my elbow, pulling the sheet close as I take in the view. His back is just as defined as his chest, broad shoulders tapering down to a small waist. Below there, well his ass is rock hard. I know, personally.

  He jumps into his jeans, fastening them. Then he grabs his shirt, shrugging it on.

  “Going out in the same clothes you were in yesterday, so shameful” I smirk, pushing my hair behind my ear.

  “I’ll wear them with dignity,” he says, walking back to me. He holds my gaze as he leans down “I’ll be back.”

  Nodding, I wait in anticipation for his lips to touch mine, but they never do. Blaine grins “You’ll just have to wait till tonight.” Standing, he walks out closing the door behind him, leaving me naked and frustrated.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

  My feet hit the pavement in a steady rhythm, never missing a beat. The force vibrates up my bones with the impact of each step. Breaking Benjamin blasts through my earbuds fueling my adrenaline, giving me the drive I need to keep going. I’ve slacked off recently. My mind being too preoccupied with other things to find the motivation, and now my body is paying the price. I push myself, pumping my arms and legs through the last mile to my house.

  Today is the perfect day to get my routine started again. That rare day where the sun’s shining and the crisp breeze is blowing right off the water. No mist or rain in sight. Not to mention running is one of the best ways to deal with frustrations and Blaine definitely left me in a mood.

  A few more feet. My goal is in sight. My legs pump faster with the thought of ending this self-inflicted torture. My feet hit the wood of my porch, and I double over resting my hands on my knees. Inhaling deeply, I try to catch what’s left of my breath, exhaling through my pursed lips. Sweat runs down the sides of my face dripping onto the wood.

  Six miles once was like a walk in the park. Today, it’s more like
dragging myself behind Marissa’s Tesla. Every part of my body feels worn and battered. How just a couple of weeks can make a difference is astonishing.

  Standing, I hobble into the house and straight to the kitchen for hydration. During my run, Bryant messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out for a little bit. I have no idea how long Blaine is going to be. From past experience, it could be all night, so I said sure. I have to shower before he gets here, but first I must collapse on the couch.

  ×××

  Bryant arrived a couple hours later.

  “So, what movie do you want to watch?” I ask, turning on Netflix.

  He flops down in the armchair adjacent to the couch where I’ve made my own comfy corner. Stretching out, he puts his hands behind his head, “I was thinking something scary, maybe a classic or even a corny horror movie?”

  “Hmm, that could work,” I say searching through the millions of movies. I find The Poltergeist, hovering over the title I raise an eyebrow.

  “Well, what are you waiting for girl,” he says, crossing one boot over the other.

  Shaking my head, I click the button and get it started. I’ve seen it several times, it’s a classic. Who wouldn’t be freaked out about being sucked into the TV? They made this in a time when people were just starting to sit in front of the TV more; so, of course, kids would be scared.

  In time with the youngest daughter in the movie, I turn saying “They’re here” creepily and drawn out.

  Bryant laughs, “You could have totally played the part.”

  “I know. They said I wasn’t creepy enough.”

  “They messed up on that call. You’re way creepier than that girl.”