My (Mostly) Temporary Nanny: A Grumpy Boss Romantic Comedy

by Penelope Bloom

  Focus. This is not what you need to be thinking about right now.

  Nola popped a chocolate in her mouth and rocked her head back, making a satisfied noise. “If I kept a box of this in my house, it would last about an hour.”

  I looked at the dwindling supply of fudge filled chocolate balls in the box. “I’d say this one may not even make it that long.”

  She straightened. “Sorry. I’m pigging out on your chocolate and didn’t even—” She shook the box around, as if trying to make it look more full, then stuck it toward me. “Do you want some? Or would these go straight to your abs?”

  I gave her a strange look. A paparazzi shot of me at the pool with Ben had circulated the internet a few days ago. My teammates had fun teasing me about the segment it inspired on a popular morning show where the hostesses apparently left the image up for several minutes while talking about my abs. I wondered if Nola had been doing a little extra-curricular research, then remembered her openly admitting to cyber stalking me once already.

  I grabbed a chocolate and tossed it into my mouth. The taste was sweet, and to tell the truth, I hadn’t really enjoyed sweets in a long time. They were only in the pantry for Ben, but I did take my training seriously. Maybe too seriously.

  The two of us snacked on chocolates in relative silence for a while before I spoke. “Did you want to talk about it? Whatever upset you back there.”

  Nola’s studied her lap. “It’s just girl stuff.”

  “You’re sure? I was worried you thought this was some kind of play on my part. Get the hot nanny into my bed and then the next move would be… well.” I shrugged, feeling uncharacteristically awkward.

  She was watching me with a raised eyebrow. “The hot nanny, hm?”

  Shouldn’t have said that. “I’m purely speaking about how people would view this situation, I mean. Other people.” Wow, Jack. Smooth as hell.

  “Oh, okay. So you’re saying you think other people would find me hot, but that you definitely don’t.”

  “Objectively speaking, you’ve got all the physical characteristics that men look for.”

  Her eyebrow lifted. “Thanks, Darwin. Do you think that kind of assessment should come with a proper academic citation, though?”

  I pressed my head into the headboard, wishing I could rewind this conversation back to the part where I’d stuck my foot in my mouth and say something else. Anything else.

  “I don’t want to make things weird,” I said finally. “You work for me, and if you know your boss thinks you’re attractive, it could be uncomfortable.”

  “Right now, I don’t know what my boss thinks. I just know what he thinks other people think.” She was smiling through the whole exchange, as though the entire thing was great fun for her. That made one of us.

  I did a quick and desperate search for a way out of the hole I’d just dug myself and found nothing but a shovel and more soft dirt beneath my feet. “I assume there are mirrors where you live. You must be able to make an educated guess on what I think of you.”

  She was grinning wider now. She repositioned herself so she was facing me, which had the unfortunate effect of showing me that yes, she had definitely taken off the pants she was wearing. Except I could clearly see a gray and black stripe pattern I recognized from a pair of my own boxers. They were the tight-fitting type, and she must’ve had them pulled up high on her waist because the material was hugging the “V” between her legs in a very distracting way.

  “Are those my boxers?” I blurted.

  Nola crossed her legs, cheeks going red. “Okay, weird, I know. But I wasn’t rooting through your underwear for kicks. I thought it’d be weird to just have my panties on in your shirt, and… Well, I guess I kinda chose between two weird things and picked what felt like the least weird? But I’m still wearing panties under these.” Without giving me time to react, she tugged the shirt up to her waistline, flashing the smooth white skin of her stomach as she tugged the boxers down enough for me to see.

  My eyes were locked on the thin strip of lacey pink fabric that arced up over her hips and plunged back beneath my boxers toward her pussy. My brain filled in the blanks, and then every spare ounce of blood in my body seemed to spontaneously appear in my dick.

  I nodded stiffly. “I see.”

  Nola let the boxers snap back over her exposed skin and tugged the shirt down. Except the tugging gesture only managed to press the fabric against her breasts, giving me a glimpse of her nipples pressing through the material.

  For the first time in my life, I seriously considered running away from a woman. Literally running away. It felt like the only way. Maybe it was the only way this ended without me pinning her on her back and fucking her brains out for the rest of the night. From finding out if she tasted as sweet as she smelled and what it sounded like when she came.

  But the fear I needed to focus on wasn’t of what I wanted to do to her or how much I was starting to be convinced I’d like it. I needed to be scared that fucking her would be putting my dick before my son. Because a nanny could last forever, especially one who needed money like Nola did. There were no break ups. There was no drama. There was just a steady paycheck and a woman who, along with her little brother, worked like some magical elixir for my son.

  But a girlfriend? Even a fuck buddy? Those had expiration dates. That meant the moment I decided I was willing to risk Ben’s wellbeing for my own selfish desires would be the moment I turned on the time-bomb.

  Nola was smiling at me with her red hair still wavy from the braids she’d taken out. It spilled across her shoulders and slid down the open collar of my dress shirt. I saw her nipples were pressing harder against the fabric than they had been a moment before and wondered if this conversation was getting her wet like it was getting me hard.

  I shook my head. I thought about Ben. Ben. I made him be the only thing in my head until the choice became obvious. “We shouldn’t be having this conversation. I’m sorry,” I said, getting up from the bed. “I’m your boss, and—”

  “My boss?” Nola asked, scrunching up her forehead. “What does that have to do with—”

  “You can finish those chocolates if you want. Good night, Nola.”

  She was about to say something else when I left the room. All I could do was hope the room was too dark for her to realize my body had been ready to do exactly the opposite. I closed the door and pressed my back against it, looking down at my pathetically hard cock.

  Seriously?

  Sometimes, I thought having a dick was like having an over-eager dog attached to your body at all times. Except instead of losing its fucking mind at even the hint of the word “walk,” it was on never-ending alert for pussy. I normally had little trouble controlling myself, but something about the nanny was working on me like kryptonite.

  I heard footsteps coming for the door. I was still standing there like an idiot with an erection the size of a baseball bat. Awkwardly, I ran as fast as I could while violently hard. I had to sidestep some furniture. Just as I was about to reach the couch, I heard the bedroom door open.

  In a moment of pure stupidity, I decided it would be too obvious if she saw me laying on the couch and winded—also comically erect. So I jumped, trying to clear the back of the couch where I could duck behind it. Except I missed.

  My knee caught the back of the couch, tipping it and myself over and a painfully loud heap.

  I was staring at the darkened ceiling of my apartment, wondering if the nanny had really reduced me to this level of embarrassment. When did I become the awkward geek who did shit like this? When did I start doubting every damn decision I wanted to make?

  Nola’s face appeared above me. She looked like she was barely holding back laughter. “I’m sorry,” she said, voice breaking. “Did you just try to tackle your couch? Is this like some super-secret professional athlete training routine?”

  “Yes,” I said flatly.

  “Does doing that normally get you that… excited?”

 
I saw where her eyes were focused, and I knew there was nothing to do about it. I just kept staring at the ceiling, wishing for that time machine from earlier. Except this time, I thought I might need to go back to the beginning. Maybe the very beginning of time itself to make sure this series of events never happened.

  With a half-smile, she stuck her hand down toward me to help me up. “There’s still some chocolate. If you wanted?”

  I sighed. “Yeah. I’ll take another.”

  16

  Jack

  I needed a break from the nanny. Ben’s little sleepover had brought me to the brink of my willpower and then somehow ended with me making an absolute idiot out of myself.

  I ran my hands through my hair and sat back in the dugout. I’d told Nola to take the day off after the fiasco that was last night. It meant Ben was at my side like usual, and I was icing my shoulder after practice. Most of the guys were heading off to the locker room, which gave me a chance to give Ben my full attention.

  “What are you drawing?” I asked.

  He was lying on his stomach with his feet kicked up behind him and a sketchbook under his nose. Without replying, he spun the book to face me. There was a picture of a woman with red hair and a man in a baseball uniform holding her hand. Next to them, two little boys were giving a thumbs up.

  I ran my tongue across the inside of my cheek, trying to decide if I should even ask. “So,” I said slowly. “Did Miss Nola put you up to this?”

  Ben tilted his head. “What does that mean?”

  I sighed. “This is supposed to be me and your nanny, right?”

  He nodded. “If you married her, Griff would be my brother. Then every night would be a sleepover.”

  Fucking hell. “That would also mean you’d be losing your nanny.”

  His forehead creased. “She would be my mommy, then. Even better!”

  I opened my mouth to argue my side of things. To tell him that no, it wouldn’t be better because it would depend on his dad who had the world’s shittiest reputation for maintaining a healthy relationship with a woman to do just that. Or maybe I could point out how much worse it would feel to have another mom walk out of his life when I inevitably fucked up.

  “It’s not as simple as that, bud,” I said.

  “I saw it in a movie,” Ben shifted around so he was sitting on his knees and facing me. Something in his eyes told me this whole conversation was premeditated, and I wondered how much Griff had played a role.

  “You saw it in a movie?” I asked slowly.

  “Yep. You just say, ‘I love you baby.’ Then you give her a ring and she’s your mommy now.”

  I grinned. “She’d be my fiancée. Not my mommy. And you have to date people before you ask them to marry you. You find out if you like each other enough to stay together forever.”

  “But you and mommy didn’t stay together forever. Did you forget to do dates?”

  I grimaced. “That’s complicated too, bud. Also, another reason why it’d make a lot more sense for me to just keep paying Miss Nola. I give her the money, and she stays in our lives. That is simple, at least.”

  “Can you pay her to be my mommy?”

  I ruffled his hair. “Why don’t we talk about something else.”

  “Okay. Griff said I should ask you how grownups make babies. He said you’d know. Is that why you and Miss Nola were in the room with the door closed so long last night?”

  “Uh, grownups don’t make babies, Ben. They… find them.”

  “Find them? Where? Is there a baby store?”

  “Well, no. It’s like a field. You, uh… pull them out of the ground. Then you’ve got a baby.”

  Ben looked horrified. “Really? You pulled me out of the ground?”

  I nodded. This was why kids needed moms, I decided. I was not qualified to have this discussion.

  A few minutes later, I saw Ben drawing a horrifying depiction of a man yanking a baby out of the ground by his hair and wondered what I’d created.

  17

  Nola

  Things had a way of settling to normal, no matter how crazy they might seem at first. My gig as Jack Kerrigan the famous MLB pitcher’s nanny was no exception.

  I’d initially existed in this place of all-consuming disbelief. Mornings were spent in a kind of daze either watching Griff and Ben or shuttling the boys to and from school. I followed them around and watched my little brother gradually turn into less of a demon spawn in the afternoons. And the evenings were the part where he came home. Inevitably, I’d say something awkward, embarrassing, or both. Then I’d grab Griff and run, promising myself I’d be normal next time.

  And until tonight, I’d capped all that off by dragging Griff to the restaurant with me and finishing out my night with a shift of waiting tables. Until I got my first deposit from Jack, I hadn’t been willing to risk quitting. But last night I’d let Troy know I needed to quit, and he’d been nice enough to let me go without taking me up on my offer to give him a two-week notice.

  The boys were watching a movie on the couch while I waited for Jack to come back. It was dark enough that the view from his apartment was all yellow square windows, splashes of headlights far down below, and the dark silhouettes of skyscrapers in every direction.

  The most unsettling thing was how normal this had all started to feel. This life, this routine, these people. It all felt like a fragile dream I didn’t dare try to tighten my grip on because it might all shatter the moment I tried to hold on. Even though I kept checking the listing for the vacant storefront in Florida every night, I could practically feel it drifting away as my roots grew here.

  Roots. That’s what was happening, wasn’t it?

  Day by day, I was letting my roots spread out, so it’d be impossible to leave when the time came. Or was it this place that was tangling its roots around me?

  Jack came home and found me in the kitchen. Music from the boys’ movie drifted towards us from the living room. Usually, Jack made a clear, active effort to avoid even looking in my eyes if he could. Tonight, something was different.

  He set his equipment bag down on the counter and slouched down on his elbows, sighing.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  He raised his eyes to meet mine, sending a familiar rush of warmth through my body. Sometimes, when his eyes were on me, I imagined he could sense the dreams I’d had about him. I terrified myself with the idea that he knew. One look and he would know all the dirty, naughty things that spiraled out of control in my thoughts when I closed my eyes to sleep. I wondered if he knew that in my dreams, he and I had done things that sweet, innocent little me would never dare to do in the waking world.

  Oh, God. What if he had seen that part of the dream where I’d asked him to suck my toes? I silently promised myself that I was not that girl who was into toe sucking. Not when I was awake, at least.

  “We need to talk,” Jack said.

  My stomach clenched. He was going to fire me. I’d literally just quit my job and he was going to fire me. “Okay,” I whispered.

  “I’m tired of avoiding you. It’s getting ridiculous, and we’re both adults. We can speak without it needing to mean anything.”

  I waited not sure I was fully grasping what he meant. “Right?” I said slowly.

  “So I’m ready to talk. More than we have.”

  “What is it that you think us talking would mean, exactly?”

  “Look. I’m not one for bullshit. I’ll spell this out. I’m attracted to you. Deeply attracted. But I’m not going to allow that to mean anything because Ben needs you. That means I need you. And I know one fact of life is the most reliable way to chase a woman out of my life is to sleep with her.”

  My eyebrows had slowly crept upwards until I wondered if they’d slipped beneath my hairline. “Wow. That’s a lot to unpack.”

  “I want to take you out to eat tomorrow night. I’ll get a babysitter for the boys.”

  I blinked. “Didn’t you just say—”

 
; “Here,” he said, handing me a check. “It’s a nice restaurant, and I don’t want you needing to use your own money if you don’t have something to wear. Will that be enough?”

  I looked at the check. A thousand dollars? For one outfit? “I could dress a small army for this amount.”

  “Then consider the leftover overtime pay. Just say you’ll be there.”

  “Okay, since we’re on this no bullshit theme. Can I just say that if the goal is for us to not sleep together, a fancy dinner alone feels like a step in the wrong direction? Not that I’m going to wind up making you suck my toes just because we had a good steak or anything.” I blinked, swallowed, then replayed the memory a few times. Yep. Definitely just said that.

  Jack had no expression at first, but then he cracked slightly. One of his eyebrows slid downward and his mouth pulled up at the corner. “I was thinking this would be like a test. We prove we can handle ourselves like mature adults for one night. And I was making mental contingencies for what I’d do if you showed up in something provocative or tried to play footsie. Now I guess I know I should be on the lookout for toe sucking advances, too.”

  I was blushing so hard it almost hurt, but I was also smiling. “Jack Kerrigan,” I said, laughing softly. “Did you just try to make a funny?”

  He cleared his throat. “I don’t make jokes.”

  “Right. Well, let me just make sure I have this plan straight in my head. You’re like a vegetarian who wants to prove it by sitting down in front of a juicy cheeseburger all night?”

  “No. I’m a carnivore who wants to prove I can resist eating one cheeseburger in particular. Or sucking its toes.”

  Okay. That was definitely a joke.