Jarret nodded. “I get how you’re feeling. Lately, I feel like I take and take. But we really can do this and not give it another thought. How about if I promise to tell you if you somehow cross a line that’s too much? That’ll be a hell of an uncomfortable conversation, but I’ll do it.”
I laughed. “Well, that was honest. Thanks. Yes, tell me. We’ll have one of those moments we can both pretend never happened, but I’ll know I haven’t gone too far.”
Preston spoke into his phone. “Sir, it’s Preston. Leaving you a message, obviously. Anyway, I don’t talk on the phone much, and you don’t text. So we need to know what’s going on with Mac’s parents. Can’t reach them. Call us back. And she’s fine.” He met my gaze. “She’ll stay that way. I promise.”
Chapter 5
“So I pull the head off of it and suck the juice out of the head.” I held the red body of the boiled crawfish in front of me. “And then pull the meat out of the body?”
Jarret had already eaten half a dozen while I stared at the one in my hand. Anton wasn’t far behind him, and I was pretty sure Preston lapped the two of them and had consumed a full twelve on his own. Rainer watched me. He hadn’t started eating yet.
“Yep. There’s also corn, potatoes, and mushrooms, if you don’t like the crawfish itself. Also, I kept it spicy but not too spicy because it’s your first time.”
I stared at it. “Thanks for being considerate about the fact that I’m a crawfish virgin.”
I’d no sooner uttered the words than wished I hadn’t. Joking with Anton was one thing, but Rainer seemed like he might be something else entirely. Still, when he cracked a smile, I was able to let out a breath. My senses were dulled, with the scents of all the food overwhelming all other smells in the area.
I sneezed as a good whiff of onion hit my nose. I laughed. I hadn’t eaten much since the change except for my starved middle of the night bacon fest. I didn’t know if that was normal or not, my lack of appetite, but I was finding the new influx of spice very intense to my senses. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I tore the head off the bugger’s body.
The spices burned my lips but the flavor… I’d never tasted anything like it.
An hour later, I was stuffed on crawfish and feeling as happy as I could remember being. The sun set in the distance, casting shadows of orange over the swamp. “It’s pretty here. I didn’t expect the swamp to be so alive.”
Rainer nodded. “People think the swamp is dead. They make that mistake. It’s alive out here. Even if these days there aren’t werewolves.” He stepped toward the edge of the dock. “Even if they buy the cock and bull story about the disappearance of the red wolves.”
I knew that one. “They think they were relocated to North Carolina.” Anton tapped on the dock and pointed at me. I blinked. “That’s right. Gus found me in North Carolina. Do we believe in coincidences?”
In the background, a radio Jarret had put on played country music. He’d kept the volume low so that it was never dominant enough for me to try to recognize the song but loud enough I knew there was music playing. Maybe none of them wanted to answer my question, maybe they thought it was hypothetical. Or maybe they didn’t know any more than I did and there was nothing to do but sit with our bellies full and watch the sun go down.
Anton placed his head on my shoulder, the way I’d gotten used to him doing. If anyone found that odd, they didn’t comment. I didn’t know what had happened to my family. I had no idea why we hadn’t heard back from Gus. Hunters had taken me, locked me up, and I’d been forced to shift, when I could have gone my whole life without doing so. I’d learned the sweetness of feeling more than I’d ever been, and I was going to have to give it up. So, for right then, I was going to indulge myself in a good dose of denial. I was going to pretend that Anton didn’t do this with all the girls. I was going to act like it was perfectly okay for me to be sitting here with feelings developing for all four of these werewolves as though that was allowed. Thirty years ago it would have been. In fact, I could have considered the idea of mating the Lejeune brothers.
That wasn’t an option anymore. For tonight, I was just going to pretend it was. I’d had enough reality for a while.
* * *
Preston dragged a mattress into the main room and then went back and dragged another one. They hadn’t asked me if I wanted to spend another night downstairs. Yet, they’d been right in their assumption. I did. It had been nice to be surrounded the night before, and I wanted the same feeling again. I probably would until the shifting need fled.
I eyed Rainer. “Are you and Preston staying, too?”
He nodded. “If that’s okay. Might have been just a little bit jealous last night.”
Anton patted him on the shoulder, and Rainer grinned at him. They really were all wonderful at communicating with him when he didn’t say a word. Rain pounded on the roof of the house. It sounded like small pings for a second before a deluge of rain replaced the gentle noise.
I stared up at the ceiling. “Wow, that’s a lot of rain.”
Preston came in carrying a bowl and scooped some ice cream into his mouth. “It’ll pass.” He lifted up his bowl. “Want some?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
The rain continued to pound, and I shivered, listening to the sound. Give me a good snowstorm any day. I didn’t like the sound of the rain. It almost felt… ominous. I shook my head. Letting my imagination run wild wasn’t helpful. I’d always been ridiculously able to get carried away. I turned my attention back to the moment at hand and tried to ignore the pounding on the roof. “Sorry.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Guess I don’t like the sound of the rain on the roof.”
“It’s loud.” Jarret agreed with me before he patted the mattress. “Come lie down. Once you get used to it, it’s soothing. That’s one of the few sounds that can lull me to sleep here.”
Preston groaned. “Oh no, little brother. You and Anton are on the second mattress tonight. You got her last night. Rainer and I get to cuddle tonight. Scoot.”
Jarret rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he got up and moved to the second mattress. Eventually, everyone settled down. It was late, and darkness filled the room as solidly as the guys did. I stared at the ceiling, listening to the rain. I kept thinking it had to stop soon but it didn’t.
If the guys were sleeping, they were silent about it, but I suspected they were up.
“Thank you for keeping me here, treating me like family, and making me safe.” I swallowed. “I was at work. Sweeping up hair in the salon where I’ve been working for five years. I woke up in the back of a van.”
I swallowed away my tears. The memories had held off, but they were, alive, vibrant, all consuming. I wiped away the tears and snuggled down on the pillow. “Sorry.” I rolled onto my stomach, hoping to hide my head in the pillow.
“It’s okay. Things are starting to return to normal inside. Stands to reason you’re going to start to have more regular human emotions and fewer controlled by the wolf.” Preston rubbed my back, and Rainer put a hand in my hair.
On the mattress next to us, Jarret and Anton both shifted, the floor squeaking as they did. All four of them were worried. The acrid smell hit my nose, but they weren’t angry. The upset from the day before seemed to have passed, and for that I was grateful. These were nice men. They shouldn’t have been fighting.
I must have drifted off, because when I woke up, it was to the sounds of breathing all around me. Rainer snored lightly, a comforting sound. Preston was silent and, like the night before, Anton and Jarret were quiet. I sat up. Something was wrong.
Goosebumps broke out on my skin. It was dark—so terribly dark—in the room, and I couldn’t really see. The storm outside continued to rage and there was no moonlight to help with my sight. My nose burned as I got to my knees. I could smell… werewolf.
But not the ones in the room.
Maybe it was my wolf senses that helped me see in the dark or maybe I just g
ot lucky. Standing in the doorway, fully wolf even as he walked toward me on two legs, was the scariest sight I’d ever seen. For a second, my breath caught. This wasn’t like Gus. This creature screamed out pack, but nothing about him spoke of home. No, the red eyes glaring at me as it loped toward me just made everything wrong.
My terror silenced me for two seconds before I screamed. I backed up into the wall as Rainer came awake, followed almost instantaneously by Preston.
“What’s wrong?” The oldest asked, reaching for me, but by then I pointed at the door. The shifted-yet-not-shifted creature had made way for a second of its kind to come through. Anton and Jarett were by my side.
I pointed, still not able to find words and they all turned to look at where I indicated. Rainer was on his feet.
“Fuck me.”
Preston threw his body in front of mine. “It’s a Loup-Garou change. What in the ever-loving fuck?”
The second one howled before he snarled, throwing himself on the ground and advancing toward us.
“Okay.” Rainer stepped forward. “I don’t know what the fuck you two want, but you’re not welcome here. Get out.”
I knew instinctively they wouldn’t listen. Not while he was in his human form. The two advancing on us were lost to human sensibilities. My nose screamed danger to my brain.
He swiped at Rainer who managed to duck out of the way. Preston charged forward, and the first Loup threw him aside. He hit the wall. My heart fell to my stomach. “Preston,” I called out to him.
He groaned. “I’m okay, Mac. Don’t worry.”
That was a lie. He wasn’t. I could smell it.
The Loups only had eyes for me. Like the first time this happened to me, I couldn’t have controlled the shift even if I’d had a sense that it was coming, which I didn’t. One second I was me and the next I was… more.
I fell forward, my body breaking, changing, reshaping itself. The pain was agony.
Jarret reached for me, but Anton grabbed him, his blue eyes seeming to glow as he stared at me. A second later, Jarret’s did the same.
They were going to shift.
Inside, I smiled. My wolf longed for pack. This was what she wanted, what we both needed. Our pack. Our family. My brain changed, my thoughts shortening until impressions hit me more prominently than actual words. Pictures rather than anything else.
The Loup—not my friend—lunged for me, and Rainer shifted, catching the bad wolf mid-stride as he did. They growled, tearing at each other. I should have been worried, but I wasn’t. My mouth watered. Alpha fought well. He just needed to wear his fur more.
Preston rose from the wall. He still wore two feet, and as he stared at his brothers, he tilted his head, his eyes glowing blue. Yes, he saw it, too. They were shifting. Anton hit the floor, his face matching the pain of his scent. I growled, hating the scent. Jarret changed first.
I knocked against him, and his wolf eyes met my own gaze. He didn’t know what was going on right that second. He was in danger. So was Anton. No. The Loups couldn’t get to my pack.
They wanted me. Fine, they could have me, but they wouldn’t have my men. I ran hard for the door. Preston got in my way, growling as he once again put himself between me and the Loups. I growled back. I wouldn’t have him hurt.
He tilted his head to regard me. Why? What was confusing him? The first Loup got away from Rainer and ran for me, forcing Preston to leap, grabbing onto his throat.
We still had the other one to deal with. That didn’t matter. I would not let them get hurt. I would protect them, even from themselves. I rushed out the door. A quick glance behind me told me I had the Loups’ attention. They wanted me. This wasn’t just about a fight. This was about… madness.
Wrong. Yes, they were wrong. They were sick. Bad wolves. I ran hard, exiting the house and heading out toward the back. I couldn’t launch myself into the swamp. Even a wolf as strong as me could find itself on the wrong end of an alligator. But the woods would do. I didn’t know where I was going. I’d never left the house, but my nose wouldn’t fail me. No one was in the direction I ran. I had to get away from this sick wolf or die trying. I couldn’t fight him. He was too big.
I ran toward a new house. I couldn’t smell anyone in it. The door hung open, swinging. I rushed through the front door. The rain pounded down outside, and I hoped the sick wolf lost my scent.
Behind me, wolves howled. It was my pack. They called to me. I wanted to howl back, but I wouldn’t give away my location. I hated this. I didn’t know all the things I should know. The wolves who should have taught me things hadn’t done so. I had to… learn.
But in the meantime, I had to keep everyone alive. I rushed up the stairs. This house was in even worse shape than the one Preston lived in. There were balconies on the second floor. If I had to escape, I’d rush outside onto the roof from the balcony and jump down from there.
I could… I turned. Standing in the doorway was one of the Loups. My nose was strong, if nothing else, and I could scent it was the second one to come in. I stared at him, my nose itching and my paws burning.
He whined, falling down onto his front two paws. He met my gaze and dropped his eyes. Why? He was bigger than I was, definitely up on the dominance chain from me. And yet… I walked toward him.
There was something he needed from me, and it was mine to provide. I walked toward him, rubbing my side against him. He whined again. Yes, he had the Loup madness. He had it because he hadn’t had me around. That was a thought I couldn’t shake. I could make the madness go away. That was part of what I did. That was my…
A growl sounded in the room, and Rainer charged through the door, taking the Loup to the ground. They faced off, the sick wolf looking less… something… right then. I couldn’t focus on it. Rainer raised himself, growls sounding from him. The wolves were face-to-face; it would only take one of them to strike. My mouth watered. Yes, Rainer was strong. I loved seeing it. I could practically taste his victory on my tongue even as a feeling inside of me warred with the need to stop this immediately. That sick wolf needed… Well, damn, what did he need?
I could see pictures of it, but it didn’t make sense. The moon. Touch. Fire. What did that mean?
Three bodies slammed into the Loup-Garou. Growling. They were huge, and they were mine. Their scents overwhelmed me, wanted to bring me to my knees with joy to have them there. Also, I longed to join in the fight. But that wasn’t my job. I whimpered, catching the biggest wolf’s attention. That was Jarret. His scent of cloves hit me. He tilted his head, backing away from their opponent. I approached slowly, my head lowered, my eyes down.
Rainer nipped at Preston, and they stopped, too. Anton was still in my way. He growled, and I rubbed against him as I approached the sick wolf. I tilted my head. He needed me, but the truth was I had no idea what I was supposed to do. He whimpered just as the other Loup rushed into the room. He growled, saliva spraying everywhere as he launched at the one on the ground. I reared back, Preston’s body joining Anton’s to block me from whatever was about to happen.
I met the new wolf’s gaze in the darkness. Pain radiated toward me. I wanted to fix it. I whined. I just didn’t know how. He grabbed onto his friend’s scruff and threw both of them, using the weight of his own body to break through the glass and throw both of them through.
Rainer rushed to the window. Maybe he was going to follow him through, but Jarret grabbed him by the scruff and yanked him back. They tumbled backward.
They righted themselves, and all attention turned to me. I lowered my eyes, listening to the sounds of them breathing. We were all okay, but the Loups were still out there, and they wanted me. I just didn’t know why.
Rainer padded over, bumping me in the side. I lifted and then dropped my gaze. He bumped into me with a low growl. Jarret strode over, nudging my face with his own. That was sweet. Rainer nudged me again. Okay, I understood. He wanted me to move, to leave here. I lowered my ears and trudged after him. We were going home. I liked home.
I’d run all the way here, but the walk back home, surrounded by four wolves who had literally chased me into danger, who were, unless my nose lied, my pack, seemed like it went faster. The rain continued to pound, but it didn’t bother me. No, right then the only thing that could get to me was uncertainty. What did the sick wolves want from me? Why did getting the madness turn them from werewolves to the two-legged Garous? And what was I supposed to do with them?
A scent struck me as we arrived at the house. The rising sun gave light through the rain, enough that I could see Gus moments after I smelled him. He sat on the steps just under the canopy watching us as we approached. He rose to his feet, and Rainer ran ahead to him. In a heartbeat, he’d shifted back to his human form.
“As soon as I get them settled, you and I are going to have a talk about what you knew and when you knew it.”
Gus nodded. “I knew all of it.”
He knew all of what? Preston shifted behind Rainer. He patted his brother on the shoulder. “This is shift two for her and one for the boys. Let’s make sure they’re okay. Sir, you should make yourself at home.”
Gus sighed. I tried to follow the conversation, but none of it made sense to me. This was home for Gus. He was family and that made him pack.
I called the shift to myself, bringing my human body back. A fog struck me hard, my thoughts thickening like I couldn’t make my brain function. I knew this feeling. It had happened before, but I was aware of a few things all at once. Rainer and Preston were naked and now so was I. Anton and Jarret hadn’t shifted back and I was so… tired.
Preston grabbed onto my arm, holding me gently, while Rainer ran up the stairs. When he came back, he was clothed below the waist. He had a t-shirt in his hand, and he quickly dressed me in it. Rainer was bigger than me by quite a bit, and it fell to my knees.
I nodded to him. “Thank you.”
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