by L A Cotton
How was I supposed to live with that?
I hadn’t realized I was crying until Trey’s thumb swiped away the moisture streaking down my face. “You’re enough, Kiera,” he said, with so much conviction I felt winded.
It would have been easy to fall into his ocean-blue gaze, to fantasize about stolen kisses and hesitant touches. To lose myself in the memories of him... me... us. But I was older, wiser. And the layers around my heart had hardened.
Trey said I was enough.
But he’d proved to me time and time again, I wasn’t.
Jerking away from his touch, I swallowed back the rest of the tears and said, “It’s late. I should go inside. Thanks for the ride.” My fingers slid to the door handle. Stop me, I wanted to say. Fix this. Fix us.
Fix me.
But the words never came. And deep down, I’d known they wouldn’t. I climbed out of his truck, my feet hitting the sidewalk with a thunk.
“Kiera, wait...”
“Yeah?” I glanced back, my foolish fickle heart stuttering in my chest.
“I’m...” Trey sucked in a ragged breath and hope bloomed in my chest. “I’m sorry.”
Sorry?
He was sorry?
The seed of hope I’d felt withered and died, sinking into oblivion right along with my stomach. You stupid, stupid girl.
Forcing myself to maintain eye contact, I smiled sadly as I realized the irony of the moment. “Yeah, me too.” I slammed the door and walked away from Trey Berrick and his stupid truck and his stupid fucking words for the last time.
THE NEXT MORNING, WHEN I finally dragged myself out of bed, I was hardly surprised to find Kyle sitting in my living room.
“Sweetheart, look who dropped by.” Mom beamed, twisting the knot in my stomach that hadn’t abated overnight.
“Can we talk?” Kyle looked like hell. Dark rings circled his eyes and I was pretty sure he was still sporting last night’s hairstyle.
“I need juice first and something to eat.”
“They just opened that diner on the corner of Lake Street and Fifth,” Mom said, choosing to ignore the tension between me and Kyle. “I’ve heard they do a mean omelet.”
“Sounds good to me. Kiera?” Kyle’s eyes softened with hope and apology.
Sometimes I wished he was a jerk; a real douchebag. It would have made hating him so much easier. As it was, I didn’t hate him at all. Not even a little bit. But right now, I didn’t particularly like him or the overprotective big brother routine he’d pulled last night.
“I’ll get changed,” I said flatly.
“I’ll be waiting,” he called after me as I doubled around to my bedroom.
Ten minutes later, I’d washed last night’s makeup off my face and changed into a ripped pair of jeans and an old Vans t-shirt, and had rearranged my hair into a messy bun, two pink strands falling around my face. “I’m ready,” I announced.
He and Mom were deep in conversation, bonding over yet another photo album. As if I was the most important thing in her life, as if my childhood was something to celebrate. I internally scolded myself.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Kyle asked Mom.
“No, you two go ahead. It’ll be nice for you to spend some time together. I know Kiera misses you now you’re at college. I’ll see you later,” she directed at me.
“Yeah, I might stop by and see Jack, but I’ll be home later.”
Mom gave me a warm smile. It was like she was a different person when Kyle came by. The mom I’d wanted but never got.
“Come on, sleepyhead,” Kyle broke the lingering silence. “Let’s get some food into you.”
My brother must have sensed my mood because other than asking for directions to the diner he didn’t try to make conversation. I wanted to be angry with him, but in the harsh light of day, it was hard to keep up pretenses. Instead, I found myself thinking about what he saw when he drove around Rotunda Heights. Did he hate coming here? Was he counting the minutes until he could escape back to the postcard worthy, palm-tree lined streets of Wicked Bay?
“Kiera,” he said, and my head snapped around to his.
“Yeah?”
“I said we’re here.”
“Oh, right.”
Kyle found a parking spot on the street and we climbed out, walking the short distance to the diner.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere else?” I eyed the place as we stepped inside. It might have had a new sign and a lick of paint, but there was no disguising the fact it was just another rundown store in a rundown part of town.
“It’s... homely,” Kyle said, waving a server over. We followed her to an empty table and she handed us menus. “I’ll give you a minute.”
“Thanks.” Kyle’s eyes were already wide as he scanned the menu like it was a pot of gold.
“You have a strange affinity with food,” I remarked.
“What?” His shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “I like to eat, no harm in that.”
“Except with the amount you eat you should probably weigh at least two hundred and fifty pounds.”
“It’s called exercise.” He grinned. “You should try it some time.”
I flipped him off before burying my face in the menu. But Kyle snatched it out of my fingers. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
“Forgive you? What could I possibly have to forgive you for when you did nothing wrong?” My brow quirked up.
“I was an asshat.”
“And...?”
“I’m not your dad or your keeper and you’re old enough to make your own decisions.”
“Better.” My lip curved faintly.
“And I’ll take you to see that band you wanted to see, the one playing on Campus next month.”
“Palladium Dreams? For real?”
“For real.”
“But you hate their music.” I’d made him listen to the album once and he’d done nothing but complain.
“Call it an apology.”
“I’ll think about it.” I grabbed the menu and hid my face again, but Kyle’s soft laughter told me he knew I was smiling behind the laminated card.
God, he was impossible to stay mad at. He always knew exactly what to say or do to smooth any rifts between us.
The server returned and we ordered omelets and coffee. Kyle also insisted on getting a stack of pancakes. Pig.
“So,” he said. “How is lover boy this morning?”
“Kyle,” I warned.
“Chill, it’s a valid question.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him yet.” He was probably still sleeping it off.
Our food arrived and we thanked the server. Kyle drowned his pancakes in syrup while I pushed the omelet around my plate, taking small bites here and there.
“So, I’ve been thinking. Perhaps—”
“Kiera? Little Kiera Lessinger?”
My fingers tightened around the fork, the blood draining from my face.
“Remy?” It came out more of a question than a statement and I felt Kyle’s assessing gaze on me.
“It’s been a long time.” Remy Barton’s lip tugged up in a half-smirk, half-sneer that had the eggs in my stomach threatening to make a reappearance.
“Yeah.” I jabbed my fork into the pile of pancakes and shoved a large piece in my mouth, hoping he’d take the hint.
“Since my sister seems to have forgotten her manners, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Kyle. Her brother.” He regarded Remy, who smirked.
Fuck.
“Brother, huh? Strange, you never mentioned him before.”
Swallowing down the sickly-sweet pancakes, I wiped my mouth and said, “It’s a long story.”
Remy dragged his bottom lip between his teeth and then released it. “Maybe you’ll tell me all about it one day?” His words had me frowning, but he wasn’t done. “I’m moving back in with Mom for a while.”
Double fuck.
“I see.”
Kyle was quiet but I didn’t miss
the way his eyes flicked from me to Remy and back again, trying to piece things together.
“We’ll have to catch up soon, just like old times.” His eyes narrowed slightly, conveying some unspoken message I didn’t even want to try to decipher.
“I...” But before I could answer, Remy walked away as if he hadn’t just sent my world crashing down around me. And to make matters worse, Kyle knew—he knew there was something wrong, my face betraying me.
“Do I need to kill him now or later?” His tone was light but there was an intensity behind his glare which told me exactly how he felt about our unwanted breakfast guest.
“If I ask you to drop it, will you?”
“Kiera...” he glanced over to where Remy was sitting with a group of guys and girls.
“Please, Kyle, you owe me.”
“Cheap shot. But okay, I’ll drop it for now. But there’s something about him...” Kyle didn’t have to tell me. I knew first-hand what an asshole Remy Barton could be. He was supposed to be out of town, living with his dad in San Francisco. He wasn’t supposed to be here; watching me from across the diner with a wicked glint in his eye.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.
Fuck. My. Life.
But of course, it could always get worse. I should have known that by now. Kyle pushed his plate away and said, “Since we cleared the air and I’m only in town for the weekend, you’ll come later, right?”
“Later?” My brows knitted. I couldn’t bear another party. Not after the disaster that was last night.
“Yeah, Rebecca and Gentry are away for the night, so we’re having a thing at the house.”
“A thing?”
“Yeah, you know, a thing, with pizza and beer and bikinis.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Gross.”
“You can wear a wetsuit if it makes you feel better.” He grinned.
“I’m not sure I want to—”
“I won’t take no for an answer. You can even invite Jack-ass.”
“Kyle!”
“What? It’s a good nickname,” he said smugly. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.”
“Oh my god, you’re so annoying.”
“But you love me.” It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. I’d learned quickly that sometimes compliance was easier with Kyle, that and the occasional white lie.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good because I think Laurie wants to talk to you about color schemes and flowers and all that crap.”
“Ugh,” I groaned, dropping my head to the Formica table.
“Suck it up, buttercup. By the time my girl and Rebecca are done with you—”
“Don’t.” I held up a hand. “Unless you want my breakfast to make a reappearance.”
“Hey, it isn’t so bad, maybe you’ll get lucky and catch the bouquet.”
My eyes flicked up to his and frowned. “And you’d be okay with that? With your baby sister getting hitched?”
Kyle’s smile slipped and he shook his head. “To Jack-ass? Over my dead body. But I’m not completely unreasonable. I know it’ll happen one day. When you’re much, much older. As long as he’s worthy for you and passes the brother test.”
“The brother test?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you know. Stable job. No skeletons in the closet. No string of crazy exes waiting in the wings to kill you while you sleep.”
Rolling my eyes, I fought a half-smile as I said, “There’s something very wrong with you.”
“Made you smile though. Come on.” He slid out of the booth and dug out his wallet, throwing down a fifty as if it were small change. “Let’s get out of here.”
But as I followed my brother, I felt Remy watching me. His eyes burning into my back, willing me to turn around. I didn’t. He needed to stay in the past where he belonged. Because for as much as I did love my brother, Trey Berrick wasn’t my only secret. And if I wanted to avoid getting Kyle locked up for manslaughter, he could never find out the truth.
Ever.
Chapter 7
September, 11th Grade
Kiera
AS I FOLLOWED MY BROTHER, Laurie, and Lo, up the winding driveway, I found myself whistling, “Holy shit. This is...”
Ridiculous.
It was a big sprawling place that backed onto the beach and belonged to one of Kyle’s teammates, Lonnie Breaker. I thought Kyle’s house had been excessive when I first saw it, but this was beyond anything I’d ever seen.
“Something, right?” Lo finished.
“Yeah.” I nodded at her, unable to keep the disbelief out of my expression. Laurie and Kyle were walking ahead together, whispering and laughing. Their over-the-top PDA’s made me feel icky and when I looked over at Lo, I was relieved to see she seemed as grossed out as me.
When we reached the porch, Kyle spun around addressing the two of us. “Rule number one: don’t drink more than you can handle. Rule two: No guys. None, Kiera, I mean it.”
“Like that’s ever going to happen,” I grumbled under my breath fighting the urge to roll my eyes. I hadn’t even wanted to come to the stupid party, but he was worse than a dog with a bone. In the end, it had been easier to say yes than deal with telling him no.
“Rule three,” he went on, ticking them off on his fingers “We arrived together, we’ll leave together. I’m drinking so we’ll have to walk home or get a cab. Unless Laurie wants to be designated—”
“I’ll do it,” she said.
“You sure?” He cocked his eyebrow at his girlfriend, and she shrugged.
“I’m not bothered about drinking.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I won’t drink either,” Lo said. “We can be Dave tonight.”
“Dave?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah, designated Dave, it’s what we say back in... never mind.”
He gave her a funny look. “Okay, where were we? Drinks... guys... ah yes, no cat fights. Rumor has it, Caitlin is coming to make peace. If she does, I don’t want you two,”—he looked between Lo and Laurie—“causing a scene. I’ll handle Caitlin, okay?”
Ugh. Just hearing Caitlin Holloway’s name made me shudder, and I hadn’t had the privilege of knowing her like Kyle and his friends. But since starting Wicked Bay High a month ago, I’d quickly learned she was a force to be reckoned with. She had it out for Lo since, in Caitlin’s eyes, she’d stolen Maverick away from her. She was everything I loathed—stuck up, obscenely rich, and she walked the halls at school as if she owned the place.
“Fine,” Lo mumbled.
“Now can we please go inside and have fun?” Laurie tugged his hand, but before we went inside, he looked back at me and Lo and said, “Please, don’t make me regret this.”
Lo shot him a severe glare and he ran a hand over his face and through his hair before following Laurie inside. “Ready?” she asked me, but all I could do was offer her a strangled smile.
“I’m not sure I can—”
“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. If I can do it, so can you.” She held out her hand and raised a brow. With a heavy sigh, I slid my hand into hers, surprising us both. But there was something about Lo I liked. She had this inner quiet. The complete opposite to Laurie who was very 'in your face'.
Together, we followed my brother and Laurie into the house. The place was crammed. After Kyle said hello to a few people, he got us all drinks: a beer for him, a Bud light for me—that came with another dad-style warning—and a soda for Laurie and Lo. Then we wandered through the sea of bodies out to the yard where most of the senior class, and a few juniors, were gathered.
“Stone is in the house,” someone called, and Kyle raised his beer in the air, keeping his other arm tight around Laurie’s waist.
“And he brought fresh meat,” someone else yelled and the easy smile on my brother’s face slipped, revealing a twisted snarl. My stomach dipped when I realized they were talking about Lo and me.
Mostly me, since I fig
ured they already knew Lo.
“Whoever the fuck just said that better start walking.”
“Kyle,” Laurie tried to reason with him, but he looked ready to kill someone. Crap, we’d only been here five minutes and it was already a disaster.
“Watch your mouth,” a voice said from behind the gathered group. “That’s Prince’s girl you’re talking about, and Kyle’s sister. Show some goddamn respect.” Trey Berrick appeared, smacking one of Kyle’s teammates upside the head as he made his way over to us.
My eyes immediately darted to the ground, a soft flutter starting in my chest. Get a grip, I silently chided.
“Stone, I see you’re filling Rick’s shoes with no problem.” Trey’s ocean-blue gaze skirted over Lo, lingering on me. I knew because I felt him. Felt the heat behind his stare. Slowly, I lifted my eyes and sure enough Trey Berrick was watching me with an imperceptible smile on his face.
To my relief, Kyle didn’t notice.
“Good to see you, man,” my brother finally spoke. “How’s it going at UCLA?”
“Good.” Trey folded his arms over his broad chest. “It’s good. But it’s my mom’s birthday this weekend. She’s fifty. Dad’s throwing a big dinner tomorrow, so I made the trip back.”
“Nice.”
He shrugged, his eyes darting from Kyle to me and back again. “What can I say? I’m a momma’s boy.” He blushed. Trey-freshman-at-college-could-have-any-girl-he-wanted-Berrick actually blushed. And it was so fucking cute. I pretended to survey our surroundings, pretended to look anywhere but at Trey. But I stiffened when I felt him watching me again.
It made no sense—he’d just jumped to Kyle’s aid and now he was blatantly checking me out.
Wasn’t he?
God, I hated how girly and stupid he made me feel.
Stupidly flustered.
“How’s Rick?” Trey asked Lo, and I could finally breathe again.
“He’s... Maverick.” Lo half-smiled.
“No need to say more.” Trey smirked. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. I just wanted to say hey. See you around, Stone. Laurie, Lo.” He hesitated, his eyes flickering to me again, watching, waiting, as if he wanted me to do something. Say something.