Crushed

by Jennifer K Thomas

  “Hmm, interesting.” He’s grinning like he knows something I don’t.

  I know better, but I bite anyway. “What’s interesting?”

  He takes a step closer. “Interesting word choice, reality. A word I don’t believe you’re all that interested in.”

  “Of course I am.” I sound timid. I suspect I’m about to step into his trap.

  “You’re trying to control the situation. But since you brought it up, let’s talk about it. The reality of the situation is that we are going to be working together. The reality is that I can’t resist you, and every time I come near you, you get flustered trying to resist me.” His eyes are full of desire. “Come back to my hotel with me.”

  “What? No! Absolutely not.” My voice is so high-pitched, I don’t recognize it.

  “Why?” Luke appears as calm and undeterred as I’ve ever seen him.

  “What do you mean, why?”

  “We both know it’s not because you don’t want to.”

  I wish he would stop smiling at me like that. “I can’t.”

  “Pretty sure you can. We’re adults, we’re both unattached, and we’re unmistakably attracted to each other.”

  “I’m sure what’s-her-name inside would jump at your invitation.” I’m hoping a diversion will buy me some time to come up with a good excuse, because the more he talks, the more I’m considering leaving with him.

  He scrunches his brow. “I wouldn’t be out here with you if I had any interest in what’s-her-name. I want you.”

  “Well, maybe you can’t have me.”

  “I’m simply trying to get you to see what I see, and you will when you’re ready.” He smiles at me in a way that warms my whole body. “It’s getting late, and I have an early day tomorrow. I would love nothing more than for you to leave with me right now.”

  “Not happening.” I try to sound surer of my answer than I am.

  “Perhaps not tonight, but this is happening.” He kisses my cheek, letting his lips linger long enough to remind me this isn’t merely a friendly gesture.

  I close my eyes as a shiver runs down my neck. When I open them, he is already walking away.

  Chapter 6

  After some reflection, and a few pints of rocky road ice cream, I decide I made the right decision when I didn’t leave with Luke after the investor dinner. The next week I catch up with Aaron, who tells me his mother is doing much better. I am relieved for him. I also find out through Aaron that Luke is traveling again, this time to the East Coast. Luke stays in contact all week by texting, calling, and emailing. I stick to purely professional responses, which is particularly challenging when he tells me he hopes I wear the navy dress to the next work function.

  I make it a point to schedule a lunch with Ryan. Before I can even bring it up, he apologizes for any inappropriate behavior from the dinner. I assure him he doesn’t owe me an apology, but I need to make sure he understands my feelings for him are purely friendship based. We agree that our friendship is important and intact. I change the subject when he questions me about Luke’s possessive behavior from that night.

  By the end of the week, my life has fallen back into a smooth routine. Amelia came to me a couple days ago and begged for a sleepover with her best friend, Sam. I hate to miss out on any time with her but decide it’s good for her and me to have some time with our friends. I make plans with Vivien and Emily after work. We have decided to meet at Lucky Stone, an Irish pub that features local bands on the weekends. We’ve only been there once before but found the place charming.

  I arrive on time, but true to form, Vivien is already there, reading something on her phone while she waits for us. Emily won’t arrive for another fifteen minutes and will be apologetic that she is late. That’s the thing about good friends; we know each other’s quirks and love each other more because of them.

  “Hey, Viv!” She abandons whatever she was reading to stand up and give me a hug.

  “Hey, stranger!”

  “Ugh, I know. Work has been crazy the last few weeks, but I don’t want to talk about that tonight. How are you?”

  I pour myself a glass of my favorite zinfandel from the bottle Vivien has already started on, and we catch each other up on the less exciting details of our lives. I tell her about Amelia starting third grade and already establishing a reputation as this year’s class clown. She tells me about her new group of students and how busy her new schedule is making her. The private school she works at talked her into running the yearbook this year. She talks about how demanding it is and how much time she is spending on it, but I can tell she’s enjoying the challenge. I decide to wait until Emily gets here to tell them the latest about Luke.

  “Sorry I’m late. Of course my boss had just one more thing I had to do before leaving.” Emily offers the apology we knew she would.

  “When are you leaving that place?” Vivien asks. We have heard about Emily’s boss from hell for several years, and he sounds like a nightmare. He owns the roofing company where Emily is the office manager. Besides engaging in unethical business practices, he has a temper and has yelled at everyone, including Emily.

  “I’ve looked. Unfortunately Max knows he’s an asshole on some level, so he overpays people to get them to stay. I would have to take a pretty big pay cut if I leave.”

  “It might be worth it,” I suggest.

  “Maybe. Anyway, who has something more exciting to talk about?”

  “I do. I saw Luke again.”

  “And?” Emily eyes me suspiciously while Vivien pours her a glass of wine.

  “He showed up at an investor dinner last week for the winery. He acted really weird all night. Made sure to sit by me, got irritated with Ryan for flirting with me, then…”

  “Then?” Emily raises an eyebrow.

  “Then he told me he tried to stay away from me, but he can’t. He kissed me and invited me back to his hotel room.”

  “What the hell, Jessica?” Vivien screeches. Emily tries not to spray wine through her lips. I anticipated this sort of reaction. It’s why I waited until tonight to tell them instead of calling or texting last weekend. “I didn’t go,” I say.

  I fill them in on the evening. I don’t want them to worry too much since I plan on keeping my distance from Luke as much as possible. I don’t tell them about all his attempts at contacting me this week. When they ask if I’ve heard from him since, I simply say that he called a couple of times, but it was all very professional. I adopt a sense of outrage about the entire series of events, so they follow suit, and we conclude that Luke is an egotistical jerk I should definitely stay away from.

  The time with them goes by quickly and easily. We decide we should absolutely order a third bottle of wine and Uber home. I quickly check my phone to make sure I don’t have missed calls or messages. When I look up, Emily has a Cheshire cat grin plastered on her face.

  “Don’t turn around, but my future ex-husband is about to walk over here. He’s been eyeing our table all night. I’m calling dibs now.” Emily looks like she may jump across the table at this poor guy.

  She has never been married and doesn’t have any real aspirations to. She enjoys dating and her independence. This is my first experience being a single adult, and although I can’t say I’ve been enjoying it, I hope someday I will.

  “Well, hello there, handsome,” Emily says playfully to the man approaching from behind me.

  “Good evening.”

  His voice is sexy, with just enough gravel in it. Wait a minute, I know that voice.

  “Jessica?”

  You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

  Luke stands behind me. He appears relaxed and harmless in his jeans and button-up charcoal gray shirt. I know better.

  “What are you doing here?” I quickly turn to the table. It doesn’t take my friends long to figure out who he is, given my undoubted
ly bright red face. Emily grins at me, and Vivien’s mouth hangs open.

  Luke takes it upon himself to lead introductions. “Hello, I’m Luke Taylor. Jessica and I know each other from high school and have recently reconnected. In fact, we will be working together.”

  “That’s wonderful,” my traitor friend Emily responds. Vivien only nods and politely smiles. “My name is Emily, and this is Vivien.”

  “Nice to meet you Emily and Vivien. Jessica, maybe a dance later?”

  “I don’t dance.” It’s not even a good lie. All three of them know I love to dance.

  Luke lets out a little laugh. “Maybe you will change your mind after you lovely ladies finish your bottle of wine. Enjoy your evening.”

  As Luke walks away, I take a big gulp of my wine. Then I take another.

  “Holy shit,” Vivien whispers, and I can hear the concern in her voice.

  “I changed my mind, Jessica. You do not need to stay away from that man. You need to have wild, crazy, life-changing sex with him.” Emily sounds serious, but I’ve drunk a lot of wine, so I’m not sure.

  “Emily!” Vivien shrieks at her. I sit silent, an observer to the conversation. It reminds me of one of those out-of-body experiences people talk about.

  “Don’t ‘Emily’ me! Did you see him?” Emily practically shouts at Vivien. “Did you notice the way he was staring at her? He’s been watching our table for the past hour.” She pauses, and I envision cogs working in her head. “He wants her. Bad. He’s exactly the right kind of man to help you get over an asshole ex-husband with no bedroom skills.”

  I can’t suppress a giggle. I made the mistake of drinking a little too much one night after finding out about Grant’s affair. I didn’t go into detail, but I did say he hadn’t given me an orgasm in years.

  “He seems like trouble to me, and before you say it, Emily, not the good kind.”

  I can always depend on Vivien to be level-headed.

  “Maybe. He may be worth it. I’m not saying marry the guy, but maybe enjoy what he has to offer.” Emily ogles Luke from across the room. “And from my vantage point, he has a lot to offer.”

  “Not everyone thinks like you do.” Vivien pinches her lips together. “Some women want more than just a good time.”

  “Everyone wants to have a good time. Most people simply overthink it.”

  Emily’s eyes are glassy, and I know it’s mostly the wine talking at this point. I’m obviously right there with her, because I wonder if what Emily is saying isn’t in fact a good idea.

  “We already established that her getting involved with him again was potentially a very bad idea. You can’t change your mind because he happens to be attractive.”

  “Oh yes I can. I was expecting attractive. I was not expecting that.” Emily waves in Luke’s direction. I don’t look. “Maybe we have underestimated our dear friend Jessica. Maybe she can engage in meaningless, hot, sweaty—”

  “Stay on topic, Emily,” Vivien says and sighs.

  “I’m only saying, if she wants to let that beautiful man over there take her home one night, that would be okay, and we should support her.”

  My friends continue to argue over whether I should or shouldn’t use Luke to get over Grant while I finish my wine. It helps to dull the conflict in my brain.

  “I’m going to dance,” I announce suddenly and get up. The wine decides Emily is right: Luke is hot and I should take advantage of what he’s offering. As long as I go in with the idea that it’s only for fun and don’t allow myself to get emotionally attached, I’ll be fine. It will probably even help me move on from Grant more quickly.

  This is a great idea. Maybe the best idea I’ve had in a long time. I confidently approach the corner where Luke is sitting. My view of the table must have been obstructed, because as I get closer, I realize he’s not alone. A very pretty blonde is sitting across from him, and they are deep in conversation.

  I hear Emily express her disapproval as I pivot and head for the bar instead. A group of men, so young looking I wonder if they are old enough to be here, are taking shots. One of the better-looking ones smiles at me, and my brain jumps to Plan B. I ask him to dance. He sets his drink on the bar, and I lead him out onto the dance floor, where I’m sure Luke will see us.

  Luke is still talking with the blonde. He doesn’t seem to have noticed my little display yet. He must be saying something hilarious, judging by the way the woman tosses her head back in laughter. I wonder why it feels hot in here all of a sudden.

  I don’t bother to ask my dance partner’s name, because I honestly don’t care, nor will I remember it anyway. I move my hips to the music. I don’t stop him when he places his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him. I glance at the corner again. The blonde is still sitting there, but she’s on her phone. Luke is scowling at me.

  We rotate, and I catch a view of our table. Vivien and Emily express very different reactions. Vivien frowns, and Emily gives me a full smile. I assume their reactions are due to me asking this stranger to dance.

  “Excuse me, you need to give us a moment.” I whip my head around and come face to face with an angry but restrained Luke. He is obviously talking to my dance partner, but his eyes stay fixed on me.

  My young dance partner appears disappointed and clearly unsure what he should do next. His eyes plead for me to tell him whether he should say something or walk away. Luke has presence, and I can tell the guy is intimidated. I consider telling Luke to go away, but it wouldn’t be fair to drag this innocent bystander into my drama. I nod slightly, and he hastily retreats back to the bar and his shot-downing friends.

  “What are you doing?” Luke rubs the back of his neck, glaring at me.

  “Dancing.” I try to sound casual, but my voice betrays me and cracks a little. I hate that he’s somehow made me feel like I’ve done something wrong.

  “That guy was getting the wrong idea.”

  “What kind of wrong idea?” I shouldn’t poke the bear, but the wine makes me do it.

  He shakes his head in frustration, then grips my hips. “That you’re interested in him. That he could take you home tonight.” He says it so matter-of-factly, it takes me a moment to process. But when I do, I’m livid.

  “First of all, maybe I am interested in him.” Damn, I wish I’d asked his name now. “Second, dancing does not equal going home with someone. Third, if I want to go home with him, I will. Fourth…” I already can’t remember what my fourth point was going to be. I wish I hadn’t drunk so much wine.

  “Are you done?” Luke crosses his arms. “My turn. First of all, you’re not interested in that guy. You don’t even know his name. Second, dancing is fine, but letting a guy grope you because you’re trying to make me jealous is not. Third, you will not be going home with anyone tonight. You’ve had too much to drink, and I won’t allow it. Fourth, the woman I’m sitting with is my assistant. She’s in town to help me with some paperwork, and we’re simply hanging out after a long day of work.”

  Ah yes, my fourth point was going to be the blonde. I really hate that he’s making more sense than I am. I have nothing else to say, so I turn around and head to the table to get my purse.

  “I’m leaving,” I announce to Vivien and Emily.

  “I’ll drive her home,” Luke says with equal authority as he walks up behind me.

  “I’ll call an Uber.” I dig my phone out of my purse.

  Luke grabs it. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s late on a Friday night. I don’t like the idea of you getting into a stranger’s car if you don’t have to.” He releases a frustrated sigh. “Let me take you home.”

  I’m tired. I really don’t want to wait for a car, but I also don’t want to give Luke the satisfaction of doing what he’s telling me to.

  “I think it’s a good idea if you take her home.” Vivien elbows Emily for her comment. “An Uber will take at l
east half an hour. You’re ready to go now, he’s willing to drive you home—I don’t see the downside here.”

  “See, even your friends know it’s a good idea.” Luke is pretending to wait for my answer, but I know he’s already decided for me.

  I’m too worn out to argue, so I mumble something that’s a cross between “okay” and “fine.”

  On our way to the exit, Luke veers off to say something to his assistant, who is still sitting at the table. I contemplate making a run for it but remember I have nowhere to go and I’m in heels. An escape is probably not going to play out well for me. I’m embarrassed by my behavior, but at least now I realize I would not be capable of doing anything with Luke without feelings getting involved. I want to gouge out his assistant’s eyes simply for being here with him tonight.

  We walk to Luke’s car in silence. Once we’re seated inside his rental car, he asks for my address. These are the only words we speak the entire drive to my house.

  When we arrive, he pulls into the driveway and turns off the engine.

  “Well, goodnight.” I reach for the door in an attempt to make a quick getaway. My phone beeps, indicating I have a new text message. Always afraid it could be something regarding Amelia, I quickly dig it out of my purse. It’s a message from Grant. “Great.”

  “Everything okay?”

  I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions, and he can tell something’s wrong from that one word. If he had any doubt, the tears that are now running down my cheeks and ruining my makeup make it very clear that no, everything is not okay.

  “Oh, it’s nothing.”

  “Those are a lot of tears over nothing. Do you want to talk about it?”

  I’m a little drunk and a lot tired. I quickly estimate I can be asleep in my bed quicker if I tell Luke about the text instead of trying to give some made-up reason for my tears. “That was Grant. He’s bringing his new girlfriend to our daughter’s soccer game tomorrow. Should be a great time. Them together, me alone.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m tired, so I’ll just say thank you for the ride home. I’m sure I’ll overanalyze all my choices tonight and regret most of them, so I’ll apologize now for my drunkenness and bad decisions.”