1 Pretty, Hip & Dead

by Madison Johns

  “I haven’t ever met a woman over the age of seventy that loves beer like she does. I bet she could drink me under the table.”

  Kimberly gasped. “I thought you’re a recovering alcoholic.”

  “Oh, I am, but I do have a few on occasion.”

  Kimberly just shook her head. “That’s not a good idea. What if you fall back into a drinking pattern?”

  “Don’t worry. I’m on my best behavior. I’d never do anything to make you worry, I promise.”

  The SUV screeched to a stop and Kimberly wobbled out. Corrine ran forward and steadied her. Kimberly noticed that Corrine had bleached her hair blonde since the last time they had seen each other. The new spiky hairdo was sprayed so liberally it barely moved and the aroma of hair products was hard to miss, even from a few feet away.

  “Great you made it,” Corrine said. Let’s get you in the trailer and we can do your makeup and hair.”

  Corrine led the way inside the trailer. Clare was already there, seated on a chair, her hair being blow dried by a woman with a lavender scarf around her head.

  “Sit down, Kimberly,” Corrine said, as she reached for powder foundation, applying it lightly to Kimberly’s face. She then swept pink eye shadow over Kimberly’s eyelids. “I want you to look fresh and clean.”

  “Good luck with that,” Clare spat, as she glared at Kimberly.

  “Yes, we don’t want you made up like a whore,” Corrine said, obviously referring to Clare’s heavily made up face.

  Clare opened her mouth but closed it again, like she had something else to say but thought better of it. Obviously, she didn’t want to make Corrine mad. Whatever it takes to get through this without any more nasty comments from Clare, thought Kimberly.

  Clare stood up and pulled off the robe she was wearing, revealing a pink dress with sequins.

  Corrine raised a brow. “That dress won’t do. We’re shooting at the pier, not at a movie premier.”

  Gasping, Clare was led to a clothing rack and selected another pink dress with a plunging neckline.

  “Seriously, I need help in here. Who picked out those dresses?” Corrine bellowed. She spoke into her Bluetooth. “Clive, get in here!”

  The door rattled open and Clive ran inside. “What’s wrong?”

  “Find something for Clare to wear that isn’t a strumpet dress or covered in sequins. I thought I had made myself clear earlier.”

  “I’m sorry. Antonio must have mixed up the racks.”

  Clive swept hangers on the rack and came back with a pink sundress, handing it to Clare. “How is this, Corrine?”

  Corrine pulled a brush through Kimberly’s hair. “Much better. I love your dress, Kimberly, and those sandals are to die for.”

  Clare visibly rolled her eyes as she pulled off the dress she was wearing and donned the sundress, smoothing the straps over her shoulders. “Clive, be a dear and zip me up,” Clare said, then she glanced at Kimberly. “Is Jeremy here?”

  “No, he went back to the office.”

  Corrine smiled. “It’s just as well. I can’t imagine he’d want to hang around for a photo shoot that is all girly.”

  “Thanks,” Clive said. “Lucky for me I love girls.”

  Corrine gave Kimberly’s hair another careful tug and said, “Ta-da. You look breathtaking, Kimberly. I don’t want you looking too overdone. I want your image to be fresh and clean as possible. That way consumers will be more inclined to buy the Pretty and Pregnant lotion. It makes it easier for the average woman to relate to you.”

  Kimberly felt flattered. There was something about Corrine that she really liked and she trusted her judgment. She snuck a glance towards Clare. “Thanks, I sure hope this goes well.”

  Clive clapped his hands. “Wonderful. Clare and Kimberly, come outside so we can begin. We’ll be shooting you separately first, and then together, okay?”

  Clare was the first one at the door, the pink dress she wore hugging her supple curves, showing a fair amount of leg. Her flaxen hair was curled and it fell loosely about her shoulders.

  Kimberly made way for the door with a clicking of heels, joining Clare outside. The sound of Weenie barking could be heard in the distance and Kimberly was so excited that she met him halfway across the parking lot. Mrs. Barry was holding the leash, but Weenie, the miniature dachshund, had other ideas as he ran excitedly toward Kimberly.

  Just as Weenie was about to jump on Kimberly’s legs, Mrs. Barry shouted, “Heel boy. You don’t want to mess up your mama’s photo shoot.”

  Kimberly smiled at Mrs. Barry, noting her disheveled appearance. Did she drink too much at the reception or had Weenie frazzled her with his antics? She knew he was a little on the hyper side. “Thanks for taking care of him last night.”

  “Not a problem. He and Taz had a good time.”

  Did she mean her dead dog that she had the taxidermist stuff? Kimberly quivered as she asked, “Who?”

  “My cat, dear. She’s a Himalayan.”

  “Oh, my. I hope they didn’t fight. A Siamese owned by Mrs. Canary once attacked weenie. He just rubs cats the wrong way.”

  “I noticed. She did swipe at him, but my cat is declawed, so not to worry. It was funny watching those two play together. It reminded me of my poor late pooch Radcliff. He hated cats, too. He was a Box Terrier.”

  “So you’re used to a lively dog, then?”

  “Certainly. Mrs. Canary’s cat is a menace, if you ask me. I had thought about filing a lawsuit against her for harassing my Radcliff before he died.”

  “What on earth for?”

  “That damn cat got Radcliff all worked up and I think that’s why he died of a heart attack.”

  Kimberly hid a smile. “Oh my, but how can you be certain?”

  “I’m not, but he sure got into an awful fight with that damn cat just the day before. Poor Radcliff died that night, and all that Mrs. Canary could say is ‘sorry’. I don’t think she was sorry at all.” She wrinkled her nose. “She doesn’t much care for me, you know.”

  That was news to Kimberly. “I thought you got along with Mrs. Canary and Mrs. Peacock?”

  “I try to be civil, dear, but sometimes those sisters plot against me. You’d be surprised to know that not many people in Redwater care for me.”

  Kimberly bit down on her lip. Not a surprise, really, since Mrs. Barry had tried to file a suit against just about everyone in Redwater. “You don’t say.”

  “Kimberly, we’re ready for you!” yelled Clive from across the parking lot.

  “Oops, I gotta go. Thanks for looking after Weenie for me, but they’re ready for me.” Kimberly took the leash and made way for Clive, who stood at the edge of the pier.

  “Lean against the pole and smile,” Clive instructed Kimberly. He snapped a picture with his iPhone. “I like to take a few pictures myself for my personal collection.”

  “I hope you’re not planning to put those up on Facebook,” Kimberly said with a laugh.

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re too funny, Kimberly. I was banned from doing that last year. Corrine is very strict; she’d have my head on a plate.”

  “I was just kidding.”

  “I know you were, dear, but I want you to feel confident that everything is on the up and up,” he said.

  “And how about Clare? She seems quite taken with you,” Kimberly added.

  “Please give me some credit. I know a viper when I meet one. I’d rather have picked another model, but her dad is very influential in California and he’s a good friend of Corrine.”

  “Well, she was the one you were going to hire in the beginning.”

  “True, but that was before I met you.” He winked. “I wish we could use you for both ads, but Corrine was very specific about the way she wants the perfume line represented. She wants it to be very hip and happening.”

  Kimberly massaged her ribs. “Thanks a lot.”

  “It’s just that you’re pregnant right now and Clare doesn’t want to wait to launch the Pretty and Hip p
erfume line.”

  “Another name change?”

  “Yes. Like you said, there has already been a ‘pretty in pink’ movie.”

  Corrine waltzed down the pier. “If you two are done, I’d like Kimberly at the end of the pier, please.”

  Kimberly handed the leash to Clive. “Hold onto Weenie until we’re ready for him.”

  “Sure thing, tootsie.”

  Kimberly strutted to the end of the pier, swallowing hard when she saw Clare standing at the end of the pier, glaring at her.

  “Hello, Clare. I hope we can be friends. After all, we’ll both be modeling for Corrine.”

  Clare stroked her milky white neck. “Fat chance. I’m going to get Jeremy back, too. You’ll see. But don’t worry, I’ll play nice in front of the cameras.”

  The cameraman came forward, a lanky man of about forty with black hair and a goatee. “Hello, ladies. Are you ready?”

  Both Kimberly and Clare nodded.

  “Great, stand a little closer to each other. Don’t frown. You both look like you wish you were elsewhere.”

  Yes, he got that one right, thought Kimberly. She sure wished she were somewhere else, like with Jeremy at the office. That way she could throw herself into work and forget this nonsense of posing for pictures next to Clare.

  “That’s better. Smile, ladies.”

  Clare and Kimberly both smiled, each revealing white teeth and pink full lips. Then Kimberly felt Clare pushing her sideways toward the rail of the pier. Kimberly panicked and pushed back. Not only couldn’t she swim, but she was pregnant, also. She had to protect her baby.

  “Stop it,” Kimberly hissed between smiles.

  Clare pushed back. “A little water won’t hurt you.”

  Kimberly elbowed Clare hard in the ribs and Clare staggered back, her heel wedging into the wooden plank of the dock. Clare swung her arms wide in an attempt to keep her balance. Weenie jerked his leash from Clive and raced forward, his tiny legs moving fast as he approached Clare with a growl. He then jumped up on her, giving her the extra push that was needed to propel her over the handrail. Clare back-flipped into the water with a mighty splash.

  Kimberly watched helplessly until Clare surfaced with a spray of water.

  “You bitch,” Clare sputtered. “You did that on purpose.”

  Kimberly stomped her foot. “I did not and you know it.”

  Clive ran to Kimberly’s side. “Are you okay, Clare?”

  “Oh, I’m fine, but now the photo shoot is ruined.”

  “It’s okay. We’ll just shoot Kimberly today.”

  Clare swam to shore and rumbled up the dock, barefoot. “Oh, she’ll like that.” She pointed a bony finger at Kimberly. “She had this whole thing planned. She’s trying to ruin my career.”

  Kimberly folded her arms. “Oh, I am not. You started it.”

  Clive whirled to stare at Kimberly. “What do you mean?”

  “She was trying to push me off the pier,” Clare interrupted.

  “I was not. I was just pushing back is all,” Kimberly said. “I’m pregnant, you dolt.”

  Corrine came forward with a towel, draping it around Clare’s shoulders. “I hope that’s not true. Were you trying to push Kimberly off the pier, Clare?”

  “No, I was just playing around. She can’t take a joke.”

  Kimberly’s face reddened. “It wasn’t funny, and you were seriously trying to knock me off the pier.”

  Weenie stood panting and Kimberly picked him up. “There, there, Weenie.”

  “And that dog doesn’t belong here. He made me tumble off the pier.”

  “He was just trying to protect me.”

  Clare glanced from Clive to Corrine. “I swear I meant no harm, but you had to know this wasn’t going to go well. We just shouldn’t be working together on anything. She stole Jeremy from me.”

  “I did not,” Kimberly spat. “He loves me, not you.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Kimberly, and maybe you’ll believe it, but it’s nowhere near the truth.”

  Corrine put a hand behind Clare’s back. “I understand how you must feel, but Jeremy married Kimberly yesterday.”

  “We’ll see. I don’t see the marriage working. He was with me just the night before he married you,” she said smugly.

  Kimberly bit her lip. “You mean, before he proposed to me?”

  “No, I mean the night before he married you. Ask him if you don’t believe me.”

  Kimberly had half a mind to snatch Clare’s hair off her head. How dare she make accusations like that? “And where did that happen, may I ask?”

  “At Rooster’s Inn. We were pretty drunk that night.”

  Kimberly stomped down the deck and back into the trailer, with Corrine trailing after her. “Kimberly, stop. You need to ignore her.”

  Kimberly pulled out her cell and dialed Jeremy’s number. This had better not be the truth.

  “Who are you calling?” Corrine asked.

  “Jeremy.”

  Corrine pulled Kimberly’s arm. “Please, honey, don’t call him. Clare is counting on you overreacting.”

  “What if she really was with Jeremy the night before he married me? What if he was having second thoughts?”

  “It doesn’t matter if he was. He married you, silly. I wish I hadn’t hired Clare now, but I only did it because I didn’t want her causing trouble.”

  “She’s causing plenty, now.”

  “I know, but you need to learn to ignore her. You knew going in that Jeremy had dated Clare in the past. I’m sure there is a logical explanation for Jeremy being with Clare that night. She’s probably making it sound worse than it was.”

  Kimberly powered off her cell phone when Jeremy’s phone went straight to voicemail. “I hope you’re right. So what are we doing now?”

  Corrine glanced toward Clare, who was walking toward them, her bare feet slapping the concrete. Her shoes were obviously lost to the lake. “You better make this up to me or I’m calling Daddy,” Clare shouted at Corrine.

  “You’ll get your time, but it will have to wait for another day. You’re a real mess now. You should leave and I’ll call you later,” Corrine said with a tight smile.

  Clare sauntered into the trailer, gathered her clothing, and left via a red hot BMW that was waiting for her curbside. Kimberly tried to crane her neck to see who was in the driver’s seat, but it was just too far to visualize properly.

  Chapter Four

  Kimberly stood on the pier once again and smiled, despite her foul mood, as pictures were snapped. All she could think about was what Clare had said, that she had been with Jeremy the night before he married her.

  Weenie whimpered when Kimberly squeezed him too tightly. “Sorry, Weenie.” She set him down in a hurry as Jeremy strode toward her, a dark scowl on his face.

  He scratched his head. “What happened with Clare today?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Why?”

  “She came to my office in tears, carrying on about how you shoved her into the lake.”

  Kimberly had a scowl all her own. “I don’t suppose she fessed up that she was trying to push me off the pier?”

  “What?”

  “She started pushing me and I pushed back, that’s all. I had no idea that she’d fall in the lake.”

  Weenie barked a response like he was trying to tell his side of the story.

  “I knew putting the two of you together was a mistake. She’s threatening legal action.”

  “Who, Clare?”

  “Yes, she wants to press charges for battery.”

  Kimberly balled up her hand into a fist. “Oh, I’ll batter her, all right.”

  “That’s not funny, Kimberly. I think Clare was serious.”

  “Is she calling the cops?”

  Corrine interrupted Kimberly. “She had better not. All I need is negative media attention. I want my perfume and lotion lines to go off without a hitch.” Corrine slipped her Bluetooth into her ear and made a call. “Clare, what�
��s this about pressing charges against Kimberly? I see, well you’re just as guilty.” Corrine clicked a button, ending the call. “She hung up on me. What a little diva she is. I wish I had never promised her dad to hire her for the perfume ad. Don’t worry, Kimberly. I’ll sort this out. We were here, witnessing the whole episode. Nobody will listen to her.”

  Kimberly rubbed her belly. “I’m not so sure about that. Deputy Danworth isn’t exactly my friend, you know. I was nearly fined because Weenie wandered onto the beach, don’t forget.”

  Corrine rolled her eyes. “Oh no, watch out. Major crime wave.”

  Kimberly laughed. “Of course, you could distract him with your obvious charm, Corrine.”

  “Well, he is tall, dark, and handsome. What’s his beef with you?”

  “I ran over his dog last year. I swear it was an accident, but I’m afraid he has had it in for me ever since.”

  “Oh, my. Did you kill his dog, then?”

  “Not exactly, but he suffered a broken leg. I heard it cost him a pretty penny for the vet’s bill. At least, that’s what the receptionist told me at the vet’s office.”

  “You gotta just love the small town gossip.”

  “Personally, I could do without it.” Kimberly bit her lower lip, trying with all her might to remain silent. She knew how important Corrine’s perfume and lotion lines were, which meant she’d have to tolerate Clare’s snide comments and passes at Jeremy. If only the woman would drop dead. Kimberly couldn’t help the horrible thoughts that drifted into her mind. Had Jeremy really spent time with this barracuda the night before they had married? It was just too horrible to contemplate.

  Corrine waved a hand in Kimberly’s face. “Hey, where did you go?”

  “Just lost in thought, I guess.”

  “Well, don’t let that woman get under your skin. That’s all I’m telling you. I know you’re the grown up around here. I’ll read Clare the riot act tomorrow and I’m sure that she’ll shape up. She wants this modeling gig to go off without a hitch. I’m counting on you both.”

  Jeremy waited nearby until Kimberly made her way toward him, with Weenie trotting alongside. He opened the door to his SUV, and Kimberly waited while Jeremy lifted Weenie inside, then she slid across the seat and buckled herself in.