Deeper

by Jenika Snow

  She smiled and watched as he left.

  Stella stared down at the piece of paper and finally found the courage to pick it up and read it. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but saw an address sprawled across it in obsidian ink.

  2935 Everclear Place

  She slipped the piece of paper into her pocket and went back to work. Did she want to find out who Tate really was?

  24

  Six fucking weeks. That’s how long it had been since he’d pushed Stella away. It had been the longest month and a half of Tate’s life, and that was saying a lot. He hadn’t seen or talked to her, and it was slowly eating away at him. He thought with every week that passed he would be able to push her further from his mind, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect.

  His anger was far worse, and he found himself constantly getting into the cage, looking for a way to get rid of his feelings. Every day regret filled him for what he’d said to her, but in the end his misery was what was going to save her.

  Miles’s words played over and over in his head. He knew what a fuckup he was, knew that he destroyed everything that was good and decent in his life. He blew out a breath and tossed back the rest of his whiskey. It was only ten in the morning, but what difference did it make? He was either going to drink now or when he got home.

  Going back to his house, feeling the residue of everything light and happy that was Stella, ate at him every fucking night. So many times he had gotten into his car and started it, feeling the engine purr beneath him because he was tempted to go to her. Of course, in the end, he dragged his sorry ass back into the house because no good could come out of him seeing her.

  She would no doubt slam the door in his damn face, and he couldn’t blame her. The rejection was exactly what he needed, but the pain he would feel when he saw her would tear him to shreds. No, he would sit here and suffer because he was a piece of shit, and that was what he deserved.

  The whole issue with Alyssia was behind him, and it had only cost him the single most important person that had walked into his life. Just thinking about Stella made him want to be a better man, but his sordid past would always be there. The good he tried to do now didn’t matter. He was an all-around asshole, and he had dug this hole for himself.

  He ran a hand over his face and breathed out. He was exhausted, but he supposed that was what happened when one wasn’t sleeping worth a shit. Damn, how in the hell was he going to get over her? Those six days he had spent with her had been explosive, and it had nothing to do with the mind-blowing sex they’d had.

  It had been an instantaneous attraction that built so quickly it had left him reeling. He picked up the phone and punched in the numbers to his property on Everclear. He would need to go there later on tonight and make sure operations were running smoothly.

  “I’m coming in tonight. Make sure the paperwork is in order.” After he hung up, he leaned back in his chair. Maybe one day he could talk to Stella and explain everything to her, explain that he was trying damn hard to be a good person. Maybe one day he would be worthy of her love.

  * * *

  Stella had spent twenty minutes in her driveway debating whether this was really the right decision. Now that she was at Everclear, she wished she’d stayed at home. The driveway was long and made up of rough pebble. It was clear this was a new road because the stone was a startling white. There were acres and acres of green land on either side of her, and she could see the Rockies in the not-so-far distance. It had taken her two weeks to get the nerve up to actually make the hour-long trip.

  She didn’t know what she would find or how it would show her exactly who Tate really was, but what she did know was that she had to know. Even if she saw the absolute worst regarding Tate, she needed to know why Miles had sent her here.

  The large sprawling house peeked over the horizon, and she squinted to try and make it out. The closer she got, the better view she had of the porch that wrapped around the three-story building. She pulled into the circular driveway and shut off the car, staring up at the massive structure.

  Movement to her side drew her attention, and she watched as a young woman and little girl brought in a basketful of clothing. It had been chilly the past few weeks, but it was clear they had taken advantage of the warm weather. As she watched the two walk up the porch and into the house, the reality of what she just saw struck her.

  Oh God. Miles had sent her to see Tate’s family, but why? Why would Miles send her an hour away just so she could watch the girlfriend or wife of Tate walk around with their child? A sick feeling in her stomach spread throughout her whole body, and she started to turn the key in her ignition and get the fuck out of there.

  Tears prickled her eyes, but before she could flee, there was a sharp rap on her window. She looked out and saw an older woman smiling down at her. Stella probably looked like an idiot because after a second the lady gestured for her to roll her window down. The glass slid down halfway, and the woman’s smile widened.

  “Hi there. I didn’t know anyone was coming today. I’ll show you around if you’d like.” There was a touch of sympathy in the woman’s face, and Stella realized tears were sliding down her cheeks. Wiping them quickly away, she knew her confusion was showing. Why in the world would this lady want to show her around Tate’s baby mama’s house? She started to shake her head, but the woman was opening her car door and holding her hand out.

  “You have nothing to be worried about, honey. It’s safe here, believe me.” Stella let the woman lead her out of the car and into the house. “I’m Margaret, by the way.” Her smile was soft and genuine, but it didn’t lessen Stella’s confusion about what the hell was going on.

  When they stepped into the foyer, the scent of natural wood assaulted her senses. Hardwood covered every square inch of the house and its cabin-like details. It was a luxurious and ornately detailed home. Several women milled around the house, carrying various things in their arms. Everything from books to laundry baskets were being taken up the wide staircase and into rooms.

  “At Everclear we take weekly turns with the chores. Everything from cooking, cleaning, to gardening in the springtime is divided up between the women and even the older children.” Margaret held her hand in a firm yet gentle grasp as they wove their way through each room. “There are twenty rooms in the cabin with three beds in ten of the rooms for family units.” Stella looked at her with knitted brows. “Don’t worry, honey; there are only two men allowed on the property, and the women have grown to trust them. They only come around about twice a month to make sure everything is in order, and after that we have the run of the house unless something needs their attention.” Margaret led her into a sitting room with a floral influence and big windows that let ample sunlight in.

  Stella was ushered into an empty seat, and she watched as Margaret went over to a desk and pulled out a folder before taking a seat in front of her. “So, sweetie, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

  “Uh.” Stella glanced around the room. What was she supposed to tell this woman? “I was actually given this address by someone I know.” Margaret nodded and jotted something down on the paperwork she held. “I actually don’t know why I’m here.”

  A sympathetic look crossed Margaret’s face. “A lot of women feel that way, honey.” She set the folder down and stared at Stella with sympathetic, deep brown eyes. “This place was built with the hopes of helping lost women. This is a place where they can feel safe and keep their moral strength and sense of self. When a battered woman comes to us, we embrace her with open arms. You are welcome, no questions asked.”

  Battered women? It took Stella a moment to process those words. She looked around the room again. The numerous women and children that she saw all made sense now. This place that Miles had sent her to was a shelter for abused women. Why would Miles send me here to find out who Tate really is?

  Margaret must have taken her silence as something completely different because she said, “Hey, honey, every
woman here has a past that they don’t want to dredge up. If you don’t feel comfortable answering questions, then don’t. We don’t push. All you have to do is heal.” Margaret stood and gestured for Stella to follow her.

  “Come on, I’d like you to meet the person that made all of this possible.” Margaret led her down one of the long hallways and stopped in front of a set of double doors. She knocked on it twice. A tug on Stella’s shirtsleeve had her looking down at a pair of big blue eyes. The little girl that stared up at her had dirt-covered cheeks and a smile that was missing two front teeth.

  “Hi.”

  Stella smiled and dropped down to her haunches so she was eye level with the freckle-faced little girl. “Hi, sweetie. What’s your name?”

  “My name is Molly Sampson, and I am six years old. I just lost my two front teeth last night and put it under my pillow and got one whole dollar. Can you believe it? My mommy says that the tooth fairy collects all the kids’ teeth to make teeth for the old people. Can you believe that? I think I am going to save my dollar until I have a whole bunch and can buy something really pretty for my mommy.”

  Stella smiled when the little girl hardly took a breath as she spoke. The happiness in her face lit up the entire vicinity. “I’m sure your mom will love that.”

  Her big blue eyes got even wider, and she looked over Stella’s shoulder. She leaned in and lowered her voice to a whisper. “You are going to see Mr. Tate?”

  Stella’s heart lurched at Molly’s words. “W-What?”

  “Mr. Tate is super nice. He always gives me a lollipop or cookies when I see him. He helped me and my mommy because my daddy was a bad man.”

  “Mr. Wessen would like to meet you, Miss—”

  Stella stood and gave a smile to the little girl. “Vincent. Stella Vincent.” She turned and stared at the half-opened door that Margaret was standing in.

  “Yes, well, Mr. Wessen always likes to meet all the new residents. He likes to introduce himself and explain Everclear.”

  “Bye.”

  Stella looked down at Molly and lifted her hand in a little wave. She slipped through the opening of the door and stared at Tate behind a large mahogany desk. His head was bent, and he was on the phone. It was clear he had no idea she had entered. Margaret closed the door behind her, and the click of the door shutting had him lifting his head and locking gazes with hers. Shock and a cacophony of other emotions spread across his face.

  “I have to go.” He hung up the phone and stared at her for several long, terse moments. “Stella, what are you doing here?”

  “I have no clue.” And she really didn’t. The office looked masculine and woodsy, with deep greens and rich brown accents. Wringing her hands in front of her, she suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. It had been over a month since she had seen or spoken to Tate, but standing before him, even after remembering everything he’d said to her, had her feeling like they had not spent any time apart.

  “You look well.”

  She felt the need to shift under his examination. Clearing her throat, she said, “So do you.”

  He leaned back in his chair, and she walked the perimeter of the room, looking at the pictures that lined the thick, built-in bookshelves. The photos showed women and children standing in front of the cabin, working in gardens, even standing in a semicircle around Tate. He had a smile on his face, although it was small and almost hesitant, and he appeared happy.

  “How did you find out about Everclear?” She turned and looked at him but didn’t have time to answer before he cocked an eyebrow and said, “Miles.” After she nodded, she walked to the large floor-to-ceiling window and looked out.

  “What is this place, Tate?” Although Margaret had told her enough for her to figure it out, she wanted to hear what he had to say.

  She turned her attention back to the window and watched as children played outside. Acres upon acres of lush fields and thick trees stretched out as far as the eye could see. The laughter of the children could be heard through the glass, and she smiled. Her heart warmed at the thought that Tate was a part of this, of helping out these people. The longer she looked at the children, the more it became clear. When she turned back around, she gasped at the fact he was right behind her, staring down at her with a gaze filled with so much emotion it took her breath away.

  “You built this place, didn’t you?”

  He nodded and took another step toward her.

  “You built this because of what happened to your mom.”

  It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t verbally answer. He nodded again and lifted his hand. She watched as his fingers captured a lock of her hair and spun it around as if he was mesmerized by the sight.

  “Two years ago I built Everclear. I needed extra capital to make sure everything was in place, that I had all the resources to successfully provide a safe haven for the women and children that came here, so I partnered with Alfonso. I could have funded the project myself, but Alfonso is knowledgeable in these things, and it has proved beneficial having him on my side during this process. That is what I was speaking to him about at the party. We plan on building another facility because Everclear is filling up, and soon we won’t have any room. I don’t want to shut people out that need help.” He dropped her lock of hair and stared at her with his deep, amber-colored eyes. “I have always wanted to do this, but my past was shady, and I didn’t want the people who sought out help from me to be frightened of me at the same time. That’s when I started cleaning up my act. Miles helps me here with maintenance and anything else when I can’t make it out. I may not have been able to erase my past, but I could try and make my future a little cleaner. Obviously I’m not perfect, but I am trying to be a better man.” He ran a hand over his hair, and his gaze went over her shoulder. The sound of children’s laughter, although muted, filtered around them.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “Like it would have made a difference, Stella? I’m still the same man that runs an illegal fighting ring under my club, that was still in juvie for killing a man. Would it have made a difference in your feelings toward me if I told you I built a home for abused and battered women and children?”

  She couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was so sure that his past had ruined any hope of him having a happy future.

  “Of course it would have.” She took a step toward him because he had moved back, as if he was running away. “I love you, Tate.” God, had she really told him that? He closed his eyes, and a pained look crossed his face. Yeah, she should have kept her damn mouth shut. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

  He was in front of her in the next second, his mouth on hers. Her words were cut off by the feel of his lips moving along hers and his tongue slipping into her mouth. It had been so long, and she had missed him terribly.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he murmured against her mouth. “Say it again.”

  “I love you, Tate Wessen.”

  He groaned and kissed her harder before pulling away. His hands framed her face, and he locked eyes with her. “I love you, too, Stella Vincent.” He dropped his forehead so it was resting against hers. “I tried to forget you, to let you go because I know that is what’s best. But I’m addicted and can’t. I can’t, Stella.”

  After everything that had happened, that they had said to each other, those words that fell from Tate’s lips erased everything. She loved him and he her, and everything else didn’t matter. The fact that their worlds had been anything but ideal, that they had work on themselves to accomplish, they would get through that together. That there were bound to be things that tried to come between them should have frightened her away, but all she could feel was love and happiness.

  Here stood a man that had bared his soul to her, who had acted selflessly to ensure that the people who came to Everclear were safe and protected. That showed exactly what type of person he was. He was the person she loved with everything in her body, and she was willing to take a chance on something
that could be amazing.

  25

  Stella wiped sweat from her brow as she picked another strawberry and put it in her basket. At least twenty women and children surrounded her, all of them in good spirits as they picked their harvest of fruits and vegetables. The sun was bright above them, but it felt damn good to be outside doing something productive.

  “Katherine, can you take these into the kitchen while I start pulling the carrots and lettuce?”

  “Sure thing.” The twenty-one-year-old girl grabbed the basketful of fruit and headed into the house.

  “Stella, sweetie, look at this one!”

  She turned around and shielded her eyes from the blinding sun. Her father stood a few feet away holding up an extra-large carrot like it was going to win the blue ribbon.

  It had been three months since he had been released from rehab with a clean bill of health. He was a different man, and now that he worked full-time for Tate building ten Everclear homes, he’d found a purpose. He hadn’t taken a drink of alcohol, and she couldn’t have been prouder.

  Miles bumped her shoulder, and she grinned over at him. The normally pristine man had dirt smeared across his brow and beads of sweat dotting his forehead. “I hope you’re prepared to cook all this food that you’re making us pick, you slave driver.” He winked and made his way to where they were picking potatoes.

  Since first coming to Everclear and reconnecting with Tate, she had quit her crappy job and come to work for him. The fact that she was able to help people that really needed it brought her so much satisfaction she often found herself tearing up. Seeing these women and children knit themselves back together was so rewarding that she couldn’t imagine doing anything else.