Who Wants I Scream?

by Andres Miedoso

  CHAPTER ONE ICE-CREAM HEADACHE

  Let me tell you what you already know: Kids love ice cream!

  Am I right?

  I mean, there are so many flavors. You could have chocolate chip, double chocolate swirl, or even triple choco-late fudge.

  There’s strawberry cream, blackberry chunk, and blueberry brownie. And don’t forget cinnamon apple pie or peanut butter and jelly ice cream.

  And that’s just the first choice you have to make.

  Next, you have to pick a cone, and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid! Do you like regular, sugar, waffle, honey-dipped, or chocolate with nuts? They even have a bowl made out of a cone.

  But then you still have to pick your toppings. Do you want whipped cream, hot fudge, butterscotch, cookie pieces, cherries, marshmallows, or mini peanut butter cups?

  It’s enough to make any kid feel a little dizzy!

  That’s why I like to keep things simple. I always order the same thing: two scoops of vanilla on a sugar cone. No toppings.

  I know, I know. You’re thinking that’s a really normal, boring type of ice-cream cone, but there’s a reason for that.

  One time I tried a new kind of ice-cream cone, and things got out of hand… fast!

  That’s me, Andres Miedoso. I’m the one covered in an ice-cream tidal wave while slipping off a diving board.

  And there’s Desmond Cole, my best friend. He’s the one using a sticky caramel rope to save me from falling.

  And no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. That is a giant ice-cream-cone monster chasing us. His name is the I Scream Man.

  And let’s just say that he’s very, very hungry!

  CHAPTER TWO PLAIN OLD VANILLA

  Wait. I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.

  It was a hot summer in Kersville. Yeah, I know summer is always hot, but it felt like you were standing on the sun.

  That’s how hot it was!

  All the lakes went dry. Kids got sunburns in the shade. Bike tires were melting on the street, and there was only one place we wanted to be: the Kersville Pool!

  I’m telling you—everybody was there.

  The pool was so packed that you could hardly find space to swim. And if you wanted to get on a diving board, you had to wait in a long line.

  No, thanks.

  Desmond and I just wanted to spend as much time as we could cooling off in the water. And that’s exactly what we did.

  It was perfect… until we got kicked out for something called “Adult Swim.”

  Adult Swim was a time when kids had to leave the sweet coolness of the pool so grown-ups could have a turn. I guess grown-ups can’t swim so good, or maybe they need more room or something.

  Either way, it was super-mean to make us leave the pool right when the sun sizzled kids to a crisp.

  There was one good thing about Adult Swim. It was our chance to visit the Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck!

  Talk about a blast of chilly, yummy goodness! As soon as Desmond and I heard the cheerful music, we forgot about those silly grown-ups. I mean, is there anything better than an ice-cream truck on a hot summer day?

  Of course not!

  We did what kids do when they hear that music. We ran!

  But no matter how fast we moved, there was a line of kids already there.

  The Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck had everything a kid could want. They had bubble gum, lollipops, and gummies in flavors like sweet, sour, and even totally gross.

  There were candy bars, frozen candy bars, shaved ice, and a million kinds of Popsicles.

  Desmond and I came for the ice cream, though. They had the regu-lar flavors all the time, but there were super-crazy flavors to pick from too.

  While we waited in line, Desmond studied the menu on the side of the truck and read all the ice-cream flavors.

  CORN BREAD and BACON

  SALT and PEPPER

  GREEN TEA and PICKLE JUICE

  MACARONI and CHEESE CURLS

  ALL CHARMS, NO CEREAL

  SPICY TAFFY with HOT CHIPS

  CARROT with MAPLE SYRUP

  “These sound so weird!” Desmond said. “I want to try each one!”

  When we finally got to the front of the line, we waved hello to Anthony. He owned the Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck. Desmond and I met him because of a werewolf, but that’s another story.

  “Hey, Anthony. Hot enough for ya?” Desmond asked.

  Anthony smiled and said, “It’s so hot that I can’t even make a chilly dog!”

  Desmond and I laughed. Anthony had a zillion bad jokes.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” Desmond said. “May I please have two big scoops of macaroni-and-cheese-curls ice cream in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone with pretzel bits and rainbow sprinkles on top?”

  “Coming right up!” Anthony said.

  “You order the most creative things, Desmond,” I said as Anthony handed Desmond his cone.

  Once Desmond had his treat, Anthony turned to me and asked, “Do you want the usual, Andres?”

  I nodded. Even though my order wasn’t as fun as Desmond’s, it was still cool that Anthony knew my order by heart.

  “One plain old vanilla cone coming right up,” said Anthony.

  CHAPTER THREE SUGAR CONES

  Eating ice cream made the world seem perfect again.

  Suddenly, Adult Swim was almost over, and the sun slipped behind a cloud, so the air cooled down enough that we stopped sweating.

  Life was good.

  Plus, the ice cream was delicious, as always! Nothing could ruin the moment.

  Well, almost nothing.

  After the last kid was served, Anthony leaned out the window of his truck.

  “Kids, I have an announcement,” he said. “Starting tomorrow I’m going on vacation, so I won’t see you for a week.”

  All of our jaws dropped at the same exact time!

  “Oh no,” said a girl.

  “What are we going to do?” a boy asked.

  “Don’t leave,” begged another girl.

  Even Desmond looked shocked. “A whole week without ice cream?”

  And I got so mad that I screamed the first thing that came to mind. “Oh sugar cones!”

  “I know,” Desmond agreed. Then he said, “Wait, did you say ‘sugar cones’?”

  I shrugged. “Give me a break. I was upset, and I didn’t know what else to say.”

  Desmond shook his head. “Sometimes you’re really strange, Andres Miedoso.”

  We both laughed, and it felt good. Then we heard Anthony start up the truck.

  “Wait!” Desmond called out. “You can’t leave us for a whole week without any ice cream.”

  “Sorry, Desmond,” Anthony said. “It’s only a week. I’m sure you’ll survive.”

  And with that, the Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck pulled away, taking our joy with it. Nothing would be the same at the pool without the world’s best ice cream.

  Just then the lifeguard blew her whistle. Adult Swim was over, and kids could go back into the pool.

  For a second it felt like everything was going to be fine.

  Oh, but it wouldn’t be fine. Not even close.

  CHAPTER FOUR ROCKY ROAD

  The next day Desmond was at my house bright and early.

  “I’ve got a plan to help the ice-cream situation,” he said.

  Uh-oh. I braced myself because when Desmond Cole has a plan, it can involve just about anything.

  But Desmond knows me well. “Don’t worry. It’s not dangerous. I was thinking that if Anthony won’t bring us ice cream next week, then we’ll have to make our own.”

  “Yes!” I cheered.

  We went to the kitchen where my parents were having their c
offee and checking e-mail.

  “Mom and Dad,” I began, “do you know how to make ice cream?”

  Before they could answer, their laptops beeped loudly. It sounded like hundreds of e-mails were coming in.

  “Yikes!” said Dad. “Can we make it tonight? There’s a… problem at the office.”

  They didn’t have to tell me twice. See, my parents both work for the government. Their work is top secret, so I don’t know exactly what they do. But I know it’s important.

  Before I could say another word about homemade ice cream, they grabbed their laptops and scrambled out to the car. They didn’t even have time to finish their coffee.

  “Wow, Andres,” Desmond said. “Your parents are so cool!”

  “Yeah,” I said, “but they’re always busy. Sometimes I wish I had regular parents.”

  “Don’t worry,” Desmond said. “We can make ice cream on our own. It’ll be fun.”

  “Have you ever made ice cream before?” I asked him.

  Desmond smiled. “Nope, but how hard can it be?”

  I thought of the flavors Anthony sold and how creamy and yummy they were, and I realized making ice cream could be very hard.

  That’s when a ghost flew into the kitchen.

  Well, not any ghost. It was just Zax. He’s the ghost who lives in my house, but that’s a whole different story.

  “What’s up with your parents?” Zax asked. “They ran so fast that smoke was coming off their shoes!”

  “It’s a top secret thing,” I told him. “But Desmond and I have our own emergency. We want to make ice cream.”

  Zax scratched his ghost head. “I thought the Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck had everything.”

  I filled Zax in on Anthony’s vacation and Desmond’s plan.

  “So you don’t want all those kids to be upset,” Zax said as he did some quick math. “And to do that you’re going to need a bunch of ice cream to keep everybody happy. You’re going to need an ice-cream man.”

  “You’re right,” Desmond exclaimed.

  “It’s hopeless,” I said.

  “Maybe not,” said Zax.

  Zax put on his thinking face, which is when his eyes look exactly like question marks. It was very weird.

  Then his eyes became light bulbs.

  “I have an idea,” he said. “A buddy of mine can help. We even call him the ‘Ice-Cream Man’—he loves making kids scream with joy. Let me see if I can reach him!”

  Zax flew out of the room through the wall, and for a few seconds I felt really excited. How cool was it that Zax knew an ice-cream man?

  But then I thought about what he said and how he said it.

  “Wait, Desmond,” I said, suddenly feeling kind of nervous. “Did Zax say ‘Ice-Cream Man’ or ‘I Scream Man’?”

  Deep down I think I already knew the answer.

  CHAPTER FIVE THE I SCREAM MAN

  The next day was hotter than the day before… if that was even possible!

  It seemed like the entire town of Kersville was trying to cool down at the pool.

  Desmond and I looked for a spot to squeeze into.

  We had to hop from one foot to the other because the ground felt like we were walking on hot coals!

  Finally we found a place in the kiddie pool—and you know what that means, right? Little kids never leave the water… even if they have to go to the bathroom, so Desmond and I had to watch out.

  Just when we started to relax, we heard a strange melody ringing out over all the laughing and splashing. The music sounded off-key and kind of haunting.

  Everybody in the pool stopped what they were doing to listen.

  “What in the world is that sound?” Desmond whispered.

  “I’m not sure,” I replied. “It sounds like a weird ice-cream truck.”

  A kid next to me said, “Ice-cream truck?”

  Then the rest of the kids yelled, “Ice-cream truck!”

  The pool was empty in no time. Everyone ran toward the creepy song—everyone except for Desmond and me.

  We had the pool to ourselves, which was awesome. We swam over to the diving boards and took turns jumping into the water.

  First we did cannonballs. Then we did can openers. Then Desmond started making up his own dives.

  “This is a Monster Claw!” he said as he jumped high into the air with his body twisted into the weirdest position.

  Then Desmond climbed up to the high diving board.

  “Watch this move,” he called down to me. “It’s the Mummy Belly Flop!”

  Desmond landed with a splash so big that it felt like most of the water flew out of the pool.

  We were having so much fun that we didn’t think about where the other kids had gone. All I knew was that it was my turn to try the high dive!

  Now, this thing was so high, it took forever to climb. I stopped halfway up just to catch my breath.

  When I got to the top, I could see the whole town of Kersville. It was quiet… too quiet.

  I looked down and saw where the kids from the pool went. From way up here, they looked like little ants. But something was definitely wrong.

  They weren’t moving at all!

  I kept staring, and that was when I saw him.

  The I Scream Man had arrived.

  CHAPTER SIX LET’S BANANA SPLIT!

  “Hey, Andres,” Desmond called. “Are you going to jump or what?”

  Looking down I remembered something. I am not a high-dive guy.

  I backed away from the front of the board when a blast of cold air hit me.

  “Desmond? Did you feel that?” I yelled while shivering. “There’s something strange going on. I’m coming down!”

  The chilly wind blew again when I was on the ladder. It was even harder this time, and snowflakes fluttered around me. I caught one on my tongue and realized that these weren’t snowflakes.

  They were sprinkles… rainbow sprinkles!

  By the time I got to the ground, I was covered in sprinkles from head to toe!

  Desmond swam over to me and climbed out of the pool. “What in the world happened to you?”

  I was too sprinkled to talk, so I shook my body like a wet dog, and the candy toppings flew off.

  I grabbed Desmond by the arm. “Like I said, something strange is going on. I think it’s that new ice-cream man.”

  We left the pool and found the other kids. They all looked happy… a little too happy.

  Oh, and did I mention they were all frozen solid?!

  “This is definitely not normal,” Desmond whispered.

  “Not even in Kersville,” I added.

  We looked past the kids and saw an ice-cream truck. But it didn’t look anything like the Itsy-Bitsy Ice Cream truck. Nope. This truck was pitch-black and sizzled in the sun.

  “Desmond,” I whimpered. “I do not want ice cream from that truck.”

  “Wait a minute,” he replied. “Let’s see what kind of ice cream they have first.”

  Desmond loves strange things, and that menu was stranger than strange:

  Now I was shivering more than ever!

  “Look,” Desmond said, pointing to the bottom of the menu. “There’s something written in teeny-tiny small print.”

  He pulled out a magnifying glass. (And no, I had no idea where he was keeping it!)

  “What does it say?” I asked.

  Desmond leaned closer and read, “It says, ‘The price for this ice cream is—’ ”

  Before Desmond could finish reading, a giant ice-cream-cone monster sprang from the truck window and bellowed, “YOUR SOUL!”

  CHAPTER SEVEN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE D’OH!

  Have you ever thought about all the different kinds of screams you’ve heard in your life?

  I mean, there are pop-quiz screams and big-bug screams. There are falling-off-your-bike screams and scary-movie screams!

  Well, I bet you’ve never heard the scream from a kid who has come face-to-face with a monster shaped like a giant ice cream without th
e cone. Trust me—that is a scream you would remember!

  The I Scream Man was melty in all the wrong places. He reached his ooey-gooey arms out toward us, but Desmond and I were fast. And you would be fast too if a creepy frozen treat tried to grab you.

  It was horrible!

  Just as the I Scream Man was gaining on us, Desmond said, “I have an idea.”

  To be honest, the only thing scarier than having the world’s biggest ice-cream scoop chasing you is hearing Desmond Cole say he has an idea at a time like that.

  Before I could talk him out of his idea, Desmond stopped running and turned to the creamy creature.

  “What do you want with souls?” Desmond asked, and it looked like he really wanted to know the answer.

  But the I Scream Man didn’t want to talk. Instead, he started hurling creepy gummy candy at us.

  “Look out, Desmond!” I screamed.

  Then, without even thinking about my own safety, I did what any best friend would do: I jumped in front of Desmond and started chomping down on all that candy.

  It was a tough job, but someone had to do it!

  Also, everything tasted so delicious. It was hard to stop eating it.

  The next thing I knew, I was covered in sweets for the second time that day.