The Darkness in Me

by Diane Nortje

  “Jacin?” I utter out. What did I do? What did she do?

  “Little one, what am I going to do with you?” Jacin muttered to me. I can hear in his voice that he seems tired of all this.

  “What’s going on Jacin? Why am I tied up like this?” I ask him, confusion coming through on my voice.

  “You lied to me, little one. I’ve tied you up because I intend to get the truth from you, one way or another.”

  “I haven’t lied, now release me.” I argue with him.

  “Or what, your monster going to come play with me again?”

  “What did she do?” I ask in horror.

  “Nothing I couldn’t handle. Don’t worry little one.”

  He stands from where he is seated in the darkness. I take him in. Why were the gods so cruel as to make him so dam beautiful? He shouldn’t be. He has unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his toned muscular body. Tattoos run the length of his body, and I know they continue onto his arms. I have the sudden urge to lick every single one. Trace them, memorize them.

  I watch him walk over to me, the closer he gets, the more I can make him out. I watch his eyes take in my body, need and something else I can’t quite make out come from his eyes as they run the length of my body. I watch him as he stops at the foot of the bed. Where I now notice my clothes have been laid out. Everything, including my knife I used to cut that creatures neck open with.

  “I’m going to ask you some questions little one, I suggest you answer them honestly as possible.” Jacin says to me from the other side of the bed.

  “And if I don’t?” I stammer out. The way he is watching me, makes me feel like this is not going to end well for me.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I was you.” Jacin warns me. Warning noted.

  I bite my lip before my reply could leave my mouth. Why do I do it? Why do I push him? Do I want him to snap and then snap my neck? Or do I have some sixth sense that I know deep down, I truly have nothing to fear from this man.

  He takes my silence as an agreement of sorts, as he continues to gaze at my body. Hunger, need pour from his eyes, and I watch the second pair of eyes come from behind Jacin’s. I see it, whatever is there. This time, it’s no longer hiding its presence from me. She starts to stir, seeing what I see. I can’t let her gain control again, who knows what she did. I’m tied to a fucking bed, so whatever it is, can’t be good. I look away from Jacin’s stare. I can’t be sucked in, I just can’t. I won’t survive it.

  I watch as he walks back to the fire place where he was sitting and lifts the one chair he was sitting on and brings it to the foot of the bed. He places it directly in line with how I’m lying on the bed. Thankfully, I’m able to see him from the angle I was placed at, or I would really have started to worry what he was going to do next.

  “Jacin.” I whisper out hoarsely, I don’t know what his plan is, I just know being tied to a bed is not the best position to be in unwillingly. I know I shouldn’t think about it, I know it’s in the past, and that is where it should stay. I should relax, she seems relaxed. But memories are memories, and I just can’t stop them

  ~ ~ ~

  “Natalie, Natalie, wake the fuck up!” I hear someone shouting at me, but its sounds like it is coming from far away that I can’t quite make out who it is.

  “Valen, she is not waking up. Fuck they are coming back!” Again, someone shouts, but my mind is to foggy to make out who.

  I hear the urgency in this person voice, and I try to make myself aware, I try to wake up. My senses come back to me slowly, everything is blurry at first, but after a few moments everything comes back into focus and I start to take in my surroundings.

  I’m surrounded by dark, stone walls, with fire lighting the walls, water runs in between the fires, making everything wet and warm. It smells down here, like fire and death. The air is rotten, and I battle to take in the breathes that I need. But I do, it’s disgusting that my stomach starts to churn, and I feel like I need to throw up. Whatever knocked me out, still runs through my body, making me feel weak. I hate being weak.

  I try to move, but I’m tied down to a bed. Both my arms and legs have no room to move and are tied to each end of the bed. I am naked. Oh my god I’m naked. Panic starts to rise in my chest, I struggle with the ropes that bind me, but nothing.

  “Natalie, fuck! You need to get free. I hear them coming!” I hear a voice shout from behind me. It’s Valen.

  “What the hell is going on! How did I get like this?” I ask him, trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

  “They ambushed us, they were waiting for us. They knew you were with us.” Valen says again from somewhere behind me.

  “Who?” I ask. I can’t remember why I’m even here. My memory is still a bit foggy.

  “Enchanters, they must have been working with Nerissa.” It’s Elgan who answers from somewhere behind me.

  “Did you tell them why we are here?” I ask Elgan, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

  “They don’t care, they wanted you, the treaty was just a way at getting to you.”

  Then it hits me like a ton of bricks as to what we were doing here, they wanted out of the treaty, and I was to make sure at all costs we didn’t leave without it, even if I had to steal it from them.

  “What? Why?” I say as my voice comes out uneven.

  “I told you. You are meant for great things, now fight your way out of this fucking mess!”

  “A little help would be nice.” I grumble out to them.

  “They cannot help you, Enchantress. Their power is useless here.” A strange voice says from the shadows.

  I snap my head in the direction the voice came from. Serval different forms emerge from the darkness the fire couldn’t quite light. I can’t make out any faces but the one that leads the group of the people.

  They are all dressed weird. Large tan colored robes hang off what looks to be gangly looking body forms. Large ropes tie the robes together, with a funny looking triangular buckle hanging off the rope. The rest of the group is chanting in some language I can’t quite make out, but it’s none the less freaky as shit.

  “Release us!” I shout out to the group.

  “Now why would we do that? We have waited eighteen years for you. Eighteen long years of looking for you.” The man in the front of the group says to me. He has shoulder length brown hair which moves as if there is a breeze in here, where ever we are. His bark brown eyes have an evil look to then, pure fucking evil. This is not a good man.

  “I don’t know what you are on about, you have the wrong person.”

  “No, we don’t, and lucky for us, he never got to you first.”

  Him, always him. The man that haunts my every moment of existence.

  “What do you want?”

  “You.”

  I watch as he walks over to the bed I’m lying on. His cold fingers run up the length of my leg. I want to shake him off me, but the ropes are holding me down.

  “Yes, lucky for us, he never did find you.”

  “Get your filthy fucking hands off of her!” Valen shouts out.

  The man doesn’t move, his hungry eyes roaming my naked flesh, pure fucking joy is radiating from him. This is not going to end well for me.

  “Coming from you? Don’t you guys fuck anything that moves?” The evil looking man replies to the men I came with.

  “At least they are all willing.” Valen bites back.

  “It doesn’t matter if she is willing or not, she will carry the most powerful child in her womb. The one to end worlds, the one to create them. That is all that matters.”

  “And you the man to do it then?” Elgan shouts. I can hear they are trying to get free, the iron making clicking noises as they try to break free.

  “I am the most powerful male enchanter living, and she is the most powerful female enchantress. Her power is supposed to supersede all ours. We have taken precautions against that. Don’t worry.”

  Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’m starting to wor
ry. If this continues to go as it is, he is going to rape me until I become pregnant with this monsters child. Where the fuck is she, and why hasn’t she woken yet?

  “Fuck you! Touch me and I will make you pay.” I bite out to him.

  “So long as you are pregnant Natalie, I care not if I live or die.” He says to me, while still running his disgusting fingers over my naked legs. “Finish preparing the fertility circle, and make sure she remains compliant.” He says to the group of people that were chanting.

  “Fuck Natalie, fight! Fight them! This was never supposed to happen!” Elgan shouts to me.

  “So, what’s your plan, rape me, get me pregnant, and I birth a child of the apocalypse? Over my dead body!” I grind out to the man in front of me.

  “You will not do anything stupid Natalie, this was always going to happen, your child will be the bringer of death and the giver of life.”

  “Fuck you.” I grind out.

  “The circle is complete my lord, we are ready to begin.” One of the hooded robes says. If I’m not mistaken, it sounded like a woman. What the hell!

  “Let’s begin then.” He murmurs out. The sound of joy coming from his voice. Oh god no.

  I watch as the man that threatened to rape me starts to disrobe, slowly untying his rope with the symbol hanging off it. An evil smile is plastered on his face, which I would permanently like to remove. His robe falls open and he is completely naked. I look away, I don’t even want to look at that thing. I’ll look at it when I remove it from his body.

  “Easy way or the hard way Natalie?” He asks me while holding up a syringe filled with clear liquid. I look to the syringe and back at him, I’m going to have to fight my way out of here.

  “Easy way.” I grind out. I need to at least have a clear head if I’m going to get out of this

  “I’ll make sure you enjoy it, don’t worry Natalie.”

  “You are the one that should be worrying, not me.” I bite out to him. Which he ignores and starts to climb onto the bed with me.

  “Natalie, do something! You are stronger than this.” I hear Valen call out to me.

  Yes, he is right, I am stronger, but she is fucking sleeping at the moment. I go deep inside myself, I need to find her, I need to wake her. Why hasn’t she noticed my distress, she has come out before when I needed her and yet now, she slumbers. This isn’t going to cut it.

  I find the stillness inside me, where she slumbers, where she patiently waits, and I retreat to her. I forget about the man that is slowly making his way up my body, I forget about my friends chained in the back, I forget, I retreat. I retreat so far inside myself, that I find my calmness, I find myself, I find my power. I find her.

  “You need to wake up, I need you.” I say to her while she slumbers. I push myself into her mind and find the poison that runs through her veins still.

  “You need to fight! Damit we need you to fight it!” I shout to her. My voice penetrating her slumber, and she starts to arise.

  Slowly, ever so slowly, she starts to rise.

  “Push the poison out of our system, I know you can. You need to fight, you need to fight him.”

  I watch as she slowly opens her completely white eyes, they stare at me eerily, they see right through me, and I realize she is watching what is happening to me, to her, to us.

  “Fight? No, I will destroy, it will be my pleasure.” She whispers to me.

  I feel her push her power out, the poison going with it. I feel myself fading, and I want to hang on, I want to see what she is made of, what I am made of.

  “Let go.” She whispers to me.

  And I do, I let her have control, and I slip into the darkness, knowing I will have to fight my way back out.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Natalie, Natalie, where did you just go?” Jacin says to me, his hands are on my arms, as if he was just shaking me awake.

  “Hmm? Sorry what?” I ask him. I’m not sure what he was saying before the memories came back.

  “I asked you where did you just go?”

  “Nowhere.” I whisper out to him, what would he do, what would he say if he found out what my past is made of?

  “Everything.” I hear an echo in my mind. It can’t be her, she slumbers.

  “Why did you go to the library? You knew I was going to get it, yet you went against my orders and went to the library anyways.” Jacin says to me while returning to his seat.

  I look at him again, I watch as he picks up the knife, I used to cut the creatures neck. He twirls it in his hand like it is some toy, like there is no possible way of him hurting himself. The question he asked me still lingers unanswered. I knew these questions were coming, but I really didn’t think I would be tied to a bed while he asked me about the prophecy.

  “I needed to get it before you did. I had to know what it said first hand.”

  “Why? What reason have I given you not to trust me.” Jacin murmurs out to me.

  “You wanted me dead not even two weeks ago, now I must take your word on it that my life is no longer in danger! I wanted to know what it said, so I could prepare for any outcome.”

  “I told you, I’m here to protect you, even if it’s from your own stupidity. Who told you where it was?”

  I open my mouth to answer, not thinking about the consequences of what that information will have. Luckily, I close it before anything comes out. What if I told him about the witch in the woods, what if he went and found the witch and did unspeakable things to her? No, I can’t take that chance. So, I look away from his never-ending stare.

  “Don’t fight me on this little one. It will be a lot easier on you if you just answer me honestly.”

  “I was told by a reliable source, that I needed to get it before you.”

  “A reliable source you say? Fine little one, if that’s your answer so be it.

  The way he says it makes me think this is not over, not by a long shot. But he will let it be for now at least.

  I remain quiet, waiting for him to ask me another question, hoping it’s not the one I’m dreading. How can I explain her to him? When I can’t even explain her to myself.

  “What did the prophecy say?”

  I let out a sigh, thankfully it wasn’t the question I was dreading. I look at Jacin and try to remember how the prophecy went. It doesn’t take me long to remember the thing that’s causing all the problems in my life.

  “Black wings on a dark knight, he will find his strength and make the darkness his own. Though darkness cannot exist without his light.” I say to Jacin. Pausing to gauge his reaction to what I’m saying.

  “Continue Natalie, I know this part already.”

  “This light will be his weakness, the light will shine through his darkness, dividing his black soul.” I pause again, his face remains the passive and he is once again that unearthly still. He really should stop that shit, it’s really creepy.

  “Though she is of light her Raven soul was granted a favor. A debt is now owed.” I say and pause again. I clear my voice, because I know what it is most likely talking about now, but that doesn’t mean I want Jacin to know.

  “The Summer will be taken by the Winter. The Day will eternally sleep at the Night. They came to aid, now they must be repaid. For a Favor given to the Raven soul, is a debt owed by the Darkness itself.” I say in a rush and when I’m finished, I take a deep breath in. Because now he is going to question me most likely, and I don’t have the heart or the strength to relay my past.

  Jacin doesn’t say anything when I’m done, he doesn’t move, it doesn’t even look like he takes a breath. We watch each other, he never blinks. I’m just about to shout at him to stop being so god damn creepy. When Jacin starts to talk again.

  “Did you get that?” Jacin says out loud.

  I’m just about to ask him did I get what. When an answer comes from the other side of the room.

  “Yes. The Fae.” Bishop says while stepping out of the shadows.

  I let out a scream, I should know by now th
ings hide in the shadows, but it gets me every time. Bishop just looks at me like I’ve lost a few marbles, like him coming out of the darkness is the most normal thing in the world.

  “I’ll ask around, see what is happening with the fae. I’ll let you know once I’ve heard anything.” Bishop says to Jacin, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me.

  I watch as Jacin just nods at Bishop as he walks out the room. Other than the small head gesture, he is still unearthly still. No wonder I didn’t see him sitting by the fire earlier.

  “You don’t seem upset about what the prophecy says?” I ask Jacin cautiously. Who actually knows what this man is thinking?

  “Why would I be? The fact that you are my weakness, I already knew that or the fact your soul owes the Fae?”

  “Um, both?” I reply sheepishly.

  He just smiles at me, that panty dropper, heart-warming, fall in love smile that would have made my knees weak if I wasn’t lying down. Why are the gods so cruel?

  “What happened inside the library Natalie?” Jacin asks me instead, ignoring my last question.

  “When I got inside, I knew I wasn’t alone, it was like the magic that was supposed to be there, was sucked out of the room. Like the magic didn’t even want to be around those creatures.”

  “They were lower level demons, Ghouls. They are stupid, they good for one thing and one thing only, and that is to follow orders. They tend to suck the life out of everything around them, hence, they belong in hell.”

  “Well who ever controls them, clearly wanted me dead, but they only attacked me after I read the prophecy, like they were waiting for me to get it first.”

  “Clearly. What happened after you read the prophecy?”