Serenity (Forever Book 1)

by India R. Adams

  Voices singing “Amazing Grace”

  Mothers and lovers crying for them

  Tears are falling

  The Soldiers in the rain

  Tears are falling all right, from all eyes, male and female.

  Austin’s soldier battle drums echo into the night…

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  The Peace Sign

  Dereck and I sleep through breakfast and lunch. The concert kept us out late, but something’s different about my sleep. It’s deep. No nightmares, no dreams. In bed with me, Dereck’s body seems to sense it and takes advantage of much-needed rest.

  We wake hungry, smelling the early dinner Faith has prepared for us and Michael—Dr. Milan. Apparently the coffee at the hospital was an aphrodisiac because Faith and Dr. Milan had become quite the item. I envy him and will miss her cooking and company when Dereck and I move out someday. Dereck says Faith is constantly being asked to speak at out-of-town conferences, but she mostly says no because we’re still in high school.

  After dinner, Dereck and I drive to a hill that’s west of Austin. The beautiful sunset view is calling to us. In the bed of his truck, I sit between Dereck’s legs as we rest against his cab. The sun glows on my face, and it is wonderful. Dereck may be quiet on the outside, but he’s stirring on the inside. I giggle. “Someone has questions.”

  Dereck’s chin rests on my head. “You’re my best friend, Serenity… I know I have the Crew, but… you are my world.”

  I lean my face up to his, and we fall into a kiss. He slowly pulls his lips from mine. “So please understand how much it kills me to know you’re keeping something from me.”

  Feeling his pain, I turn, getting on my knees to face him. I have a clue where this conversation is headed. He touches my face as if I’ve hurt him.

  “Serenity, what have you told Josh and not told me?” Dereck puts his head down in shame. “I know I encourage you two to stay close. I know what he means to you, but the reaction you had to Destiny was epic, and Josh was the only one who understood it.” Dereck won’t look at me. “Oh God, never mind, Baby Doll. If you need to confide in him and not me, I respect that.”

  I crawl into his lap and straddle him. The need to calm his insecurities tops any of my needs. “Look at me.”

  His knees come up behind me, forcing me closer. My blood stirs as he becomes possessive of my body. Face to face, I’m almost lost in my desire for him but know I need to come clean.

  “Dereck, I have to kiss you because you’re so close to me right now. And then I will tell you what I have told no one.”

  I’m not sure if his breath is strained because I’m in his lap or because he anticipates what he will hear, but our lips melt to each other as I gather courage. Our tongues caress one another while finding words. His eyes watch me the whole time.

  “Do you believe the love we have for one another is… normal?”

  He slowly shakes his head.

  “When you first met me, you sensed you already knew me.”

  He nods.

  “I thought I was crazy… when I saw things.” I wait.

  Hesitantly, he asks, “Saw what?”

  My body tenses.

  He yanks me closer. “There’s nothing you can say that will ever make me not want to be with you.”

  If my visions are true, he will never give up on me.

  “Girl, I love you as if you were embedded into my soul.”

  I take a deep breath. “I might be.”

  Dereck smiles, seeming pleased that I understand him. I pray he can handle this.

  “Here we go. Hold on, Dereck. The day I met you, I had different visions of you and me, from different times and different places.” I throw my face into his neck. Dereck doesn’t move.

  After what seems like an eternity, Dereck says, “Can I see your face, please, so I know if you’re serious?”

  I kiss his neck. It might be my last chance. Then I face him. His eyes search mine. His expression changes. He knows I’m not lying.

  One by one, I tell him of the visions, how they made me feel, and how I couldn’t speak them aloud till now. I speak about the energy I see around people, and about how I tried to tell Josh. My memories of the shadows? Dereck almost chokes, but now the terrified girl he found hiding in the dark spring makes more sense. Dereck listens as I tell him about the visions and about being tied down in a hospital—which I don’t really understand myself. I tell him about all my dreams with a cloaked woman, who just happened to be the country singer Destiny. Hearing about the visions pertaining to Sawyer takes what little air Dereck has left, since he stopped inhaling a while back.

  Shock. Yes, my husband is in a state of shock, but I feel so much better not being alone in this anymore. I caress his face. “I used to think of your love as a silk blanket. That’s how it feels to me, warm and safe, a bright shield. But after seeing Sawyer and putting a lot of thought into it… well, I think you’re a protector, Dereck. I think Sawyer is Destiny’s protector. Of what? I don’t know. In my memories, you guys are always fighting for us. ‘One must survive,’ but seeing that man, Sawyer, on his knees, begging for help—I can’t help wondering about the Crew, and her boys, the hand over the chest, like a pledge. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe not. And I don’t know how Sky fits into all this. But the struggling lights on the bus, I don’t believe they’re a coincidence.”

  Silence. The sun is down now. “It feels good to have this off my shoulders.”

  I hear nothing.

  “Dereck? Say something.”

  A moment passes. “Holy shit.”

  In our bed, I roll over to face Dereck as his cell rings, waking us. “Hello?” he groggily answers, rubbing his eyes in the morning sun. He doesn’t shut the blinds as he used to. Now he lets me wake with the beauty of nature whispering to me through sun rays.

  “Hi, Dereck. This is Destiny.”

  Dereck sits up. “Oh, shit, I mean, damn, I cannot believe I just cussed in your ear.”

  Propped up next to him, I hear that giggle over his phone. “No worries. I hang with a male band. No virgin ears here. Do ya have a minute?”

  Dereck nods before words get out. “Yes—Yes, of course.”

  “Great. Just wanted to set up a time where we could all get together and hear some of your stuff, or just talk about—you know.”

  Listening to her speak with Dereck, I think of how many times I’ve heard her in my dreams and never made the connection. Now it makes so much sense. The cloak was probably there so that I wouldn’t recognize her at first and react like a delusional fan, and also possibly so that, on a deeper level, I would recognize her—remember her, trust her—from the lifetime in which we perished together. I miss her already and wish I knew how to go to her dreams as she comes to mine.

  Dereck’s voice intrudes on my thoughts. “Sure, sounds great. See ya then… Yep, here she is.” Dereck hands me his phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Sugar Plum. How are you?”

  “I haven’t seen you.”

  “You haven’t needed me. I guess you’ve had a talk to Dereck about our dreams if you’re saying this in front of him?”

  “Yes, he swallowed his tongue but has color in his face again.” I smile at Dereck.

  “Sawyer is open if Dereck ever needs to talk. It was a bit much for him, too, in the beginning.”

  Dereck, apparently hearing our conversation, nods.

  “He might take ya up on the offer. We have many questions.”

  “I will answer what I can.”

  “Did—you take… my nightmares away?”

  She hesitates, then with a sad voice, says, “No. I can’t take away something that has purpose.”

  “Oh… They’re not done?”

  “Serenity, can you
come over when we meet up with Dereck? I have a gift for you.”

  “A gift?”

  “Yes, a necklace of protection.”

  I wonder if that’s my answer.

  An overwhelming number of people are in these University of Texas stadium hallways. Burnt orange and horns everywhere. Dereck and I are in our Number 2 jerseys, heading for our seats with Jolene. This crowd is much different from the one at Destiny’s concert. Fans are rattled with nerves, desperate for another win. A very serious game is about to get under way. People attend or watch these events on TV religiously and passionately, my husband included.

  “Losing. My. Mind. I’m so excited.”

  After the opposing team—Oklahoma State, an intense rival of ours—is introduced, our home team enters the field, followed by an unbelievable roar from the crowd.

  With the game in motion, I’m shocked at how many people are involved. A shocking number on the sidelines. Coaches, trainers, medical staff, employees with towels and water. I even think I see a shoe person down there. Does he just change them out at will? Not to mention the crew it takes to provide live TV coverage. Cameras, reporters…

  “You’re going to be doing this next year, Dereck. On TV!”

  My phone vibrates with a text from Sky. She’s with Rocco, who has a cold. She refuses to leave his side and surrendered her ticket.

  The message reads: I think I saw you in the stands. Are you wearing orange?

  I text back: Smart-ass

  Down on the field, someone catches the ball Josh threw and runs! Touchdown! I find myself screaming, jumping up and down with Dereck and Jolene, who are high-fiving strangers before and behind us. “This is fun!” I yell to a stranger to my left. “You guys feel much better when you’re winning.”

  The guy recoils.

  Dereck makes a hand sign resembling horns. “Hook ’em!” he says to the stranger eyeing me as if I’m missing a couple of building blocks in my head.

  Then he whispers more fabulous Pig Latin. “Ix-nay on the energy alk-tay.”

  Oops.

  Josh is searching for a home for the ball in his hand, but everyone on the field is heavily covered by the opposing team. Unfortunately, Josh is not as heavily guarded. A beast of a man makes his way to him and hammers my Josh to the ground. The whole crowd hisses and moans as if they’re the ones who just got creamed.

  Jolene chants, “Wait for it. He will tell me if he’s okay.”

  As teammates head to Josh, I think of Dereck on the field that awful night and feel a bit faint. I freeze when Josh lifts his hand into the air. He holds up a peace sign.

  Jolene clutches her chest. “He’s okay.”

  The crowd roars, “Dukes!” If the fans didn’t look so damn happy, I would swear they’re booing him.

  As we all sit back down, Dereck asks Jolene, “You knew he would do that?”

  “Dereck, your wife almost died when you got hit. Josh saw firsthand what happens to us, watching helplessly. He promised to give me the peace sign if he’s ever laid out. It means, ‘I’m okay, babe, just need a minute to get back up.’”

  Dereck’s sorrowful gaze finds me. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

  My eyes well at the memory. “You’ve seen worse with me, right?”

  He tries to smile. “Even?”

  “Even.” I fake my smile, too. Nothing is funny about what we’ve been through.

  The cotton dress no longer flows. It’s so heavy now, a thicker material. I’m being dragged down the stairs by its lead weight. As I fall, my surroundings are cloudy, foggy. Instead of landing or crashing into the front door, I’m suddenly floating to where my dad sits on a little stool, rocking back and forth, in the middle of the front living room. From above him, I see the darkness circling his head. A faint wicked whisper says, “Now, go get Serenity back and do the same to her!”

  “Okay, I will.” I jolt with the realization of how far this darkness has progressed since I’ve been gone. That is not Father who answered. Now my body floats to where I can see bare, bloody legs lying in front of him. They’re Mom’s—

  “Shhh, I’m here.”

  “He’s going to kill us both.”

  Dereck rocks me. “Shhh, no one is going to kill you. He’s in jail. I got you.”

  There’s no running, no screaming this time as I wake in his arms.

  Dereck wipes the sweaty hair from my forehead and cradles me. “You’re okay.”

  Calmly, I say, “No, no I’m not.”

  “You look awake. You with me, baby?”

  “Yes.”

  Dereck tilts his head. “Serenity, you’re making my heart pound. What is it?”

  I feel death. “Dereck, my dad will try to kill me.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Angel Eyes

  My dad is in prison for trying to kidnap me, which is the only consolation Dereck has for now. I know when Dad is released, Dereck will go into protection overload. Is that what he’s here to protect me from? My dad wanting me dead doesn’t seem as significant as war, or slavery, or burnings at a stake. The morning light is shining through his windows, but this time the fog of our thoughts is stronger than the rays of light. I roll to Dereck in our bed. On his back, he stares at the ceiling. My arm lies over his chest, and I’m trying to act as though nothing is wrong.

  “Serenity, you had a hard night. Can we please not go to this party tonight?”

  “I could really use Skyler right now.”

  She caught Rocco’s cold, so she’s been MIA at school, and then Thanksgiving was split between her house and Rocco’s parents. Sky said her stomach almost busted with two huge meals, but Teddy Bear ate on, as if preparing for a very long hibernation.

  “Then let me pick her up and bring her here for you.”

  My finger traces his face. “You’re not going to shut down my life because of a nightmare, are you?”

  His jaw tightens. “You don’t pretend your dreams don’t have meaning, and I won’t pretend I don’t want to hide you and throw away the key.”

  I lay my head on his chest. “Fair enough, but we still have to live our lives.”

  A weary Dereck opens the passenger door of his truck at the party. I stay in my seat, facing him. He steps between my legs, resting his hands on my thighs.

  Unconditional love, maybe sent from up above

  Uncertain times, wish we could leave behind

  Purpose to all that is to come

  Even the heartache that can’t be undone

  Dereck’s lips are full of meaning as they touch mine. Love flows through his embrace. “I feel like everything is changing, no matter how tight I hold you.” He’s been so nervous since our talk in the back of his truck. I can’t blame him. I unloaded more than most could comprehend.

  We hold hands while walking through the party to where the partial Crew is waiting. Roc is at another family function but is trying to get here as soon as it’s over. Seeing Josh and Jolene at this kind of event is so unusual anymore. Schoolwork normally has them buried. My arms go around Sky.

  She holds me, saying, “Ugh, you guys had a rough night.”

  Josh’s eyes ask for confirmation.

  Dereck yawns. “Yeah, so she wanted some Sky.”

  Sky squeezes me tighter. “And who could blame her? This kid can’t live without me.” She winks at him. “Sorry, Dereck. But I’m her fav.”

  He laughs at the ceiling. “You always have been. I’m the third wheel, remember?”

  Jolene pulls her hair over her shoulder, nervously playing with the ends.

  Sky asks, “What?”

  “Easy, Piss-and-Vinegar,” Josh says. “It’s just, why can’t Serenity live without you?”

  Skyler looks appalled, making him laug
h.

  “No! I mean”—he looks around, then whispers—“is this an energy thing?”

  “No,” Sky sneers, still holding me. “It is because I. Am. Awesome.”

  “Yes, but why?” Josh asks.

  “Because I rock! Gosh dern you’re slow tonight.”

  His eagle eyes pry as he leans forward. “But why do you rock?”

  Her head leans back, and she yells, “Because I’m Skyler freaking O’Donnell!”

  The whole party stops. I mean, shuts down and stares at us. The Crew bursts out laughing. I laugh so hard I have to release Sky and bend over. Then, in unison, the partygoers all lift their drinks and yell, “Skyler freaking O’Donnell!”

  She screams, “Yay, meeee!” Then she sticks her tongue out at Josh. “See? They get it.”

  Josh rushes forward, manhandling us before I can escape. “Both! You both are a pain in my ass, but God, I love youuuuuu.” He kisses us, over and over, causing me to squeal and laugh.

  Dereck smiles at me. “I guess you were right. We needed this.”

  Breathing freely again through laughter, we find that the party flies by. No alcohol, just each other’s company. The simple things are sometimes the most delicious.

  “I’m sorry, I know you’re rushing here, Roc, but I have to go home,” Sky says into her cell. “My cousin is getting married tomorrow. Have you forgotten? I love you, too… No, I love you more… No, I love…”

  “I’m going to barf,” Josh complains. Then he grabs his shin. “Damn, she’s quick.”

  Skyler smiles into her phone. “I can’t wait to see you in your tux.”

  After more mushy talk, Skyler ends the call and hugs the Wise Ones. “Love you.” Then she kisses Dereck’s cheek. “I’m stealing your wife. We have some catching up to do.”

  Jolene grins.

  Josh peers at her. “What?”