by Alex Silver
“Is that what you see me as?”
Elliott sagged, “it’s what I want you to be.”
“But I’m not. I’m his boyfriend. We both are.”
“Doesn’t mean you and I have to have a relationship.”
“No. But wouldn’t you prefer if we did?”
Elliott sighed, “it’s what Jake wants. And Caleb would prefer it too. Heck, I bet he has a grand scheme in the back of his mind for ‘how to get Aaron from metamour to amour in ten easy steps’. He wants a big poly family. I don’t hate the idea, but I’m not like them. I need time to process. Get to know you. I’m not ruling anything out. But I don’t know if I can trust you yet.”
“And four years ago you didn’t know Jake.”
“True,” Elliott said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “So give it time. keep showing me you won’t hurt us.”
“The way I hurt Jake?”
“Yeah.”
“I can do that.”
Elliott shot me a cocky grin as if to say prove it. And I intended to do just that.
We almost made it out of the tower without running into anyone I knew. Almost, but not quite. I paused with my hand on the exterior door when I heard an excited young voice calling my name from across the lobby.
“Aaron!”
“That’s Finn, give us a minute?”
“I’m not in any hurry.”
“Hey, Finny, how’s it going?” I asked, turning toward the teen as they jogged over to join us.
“Good. Great even. I got official word today. Once I made special agent Tim is mine. They granted my petition for custody conditional on my employment with SPIRE. Gainful employment and housing and all that,” Finn said, their pleasure with the outcome clear.
“That’s amazing news, congrats, kiddo!” I said.
Emotion flickered across their face at the endearment. I liked Finn. They were good company, bright and enthusiastic and amiable. But sometimes it seemed like I was walking a tightrope between gentle discouragement of their crush and trying to forge a friendship with my young co-worker.
Kiddo fell into the subtle reminder he was too young category.
“Yeah. Our Aunt has been fostering him since everything happened with PYDC, but she has her hands full with her own kids. She only agreed to take Tim in until my petition goes through. I’ve been visiting in our free time. It’s been nice reconnecting with family. Tim sounds psyched to move in with me in a few weeks. So it seems like everything will work out for us.”
“Good for you and your brother,” I said, smiling at their good news.
“So, what are you up to tonight?”
“Going out with a friend,” I said. “This is Elliott.”
“Nice to meet you, Elliott. I’m Aaron’s friend, Finn,” Finn held up a hand in a greeting wave.
“Likewise, Finn,” Elliott replied with a bemused expression.
“Where’s Jake?”
“With Caleb.”
“Oh, his college buddy, right?” Finn asked.
Elliott bristled at my side.
“One of his other partners, same as Elliott here,” I said. Because we had agreed not to lie if anyone asked. But I gritted my teeth against the answer. Because I could see the lightbulb go on above Finn’s head as they realized Jake, and I were not in a monogamous relationship. I guess it hadn’t come up before. Odd, but then I avoided talking about relationship stuff with Finn.
At least I said the right thing to appease Elliott. He relaxed at my side.
“Oh! Right, well, I owe you for getting custody. If it weren’t for you who knows what would have happened? So, yeah. I wanted to invite you out to celebrate? Like dinner or something?”
I bit my lip because the kid deserved a celebration. And we were friends. But the invitation sounded like a pretext. I didn’t want to lead the kid on about my intentions.
“That sounds great, Finny, Jake and I can set something up with Roy and some others in our training group, how about next weekend?”
Finn’s face fell, their cheeks flushed, “I—uh, I guess that sounds fine. Anyway, let me know, I need to get to my gym time or Six will bite my head off.”
Finn fled. Elliott faced me with an amused expression once we were out on the sidewalk and well out of ear-shot. “Kid was angling for a date, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m hoping they outgrow their crush with no need to sit them down for the ‘it’s not you it’s me talk’.”
“Not into them?”
“They’re eighteen.”
“So? You’re only twenty-two. Four years is nothing. Jake and Caleb are three and a half years apart.”
“They’re a kid. A great kid. But I mean, we met when I was in a position of authority over them, and I helped them get out of a bad situation. It seems icky. So, no. Just—no. I don’t object to being a friend and mentor, but I’m not going there with them.”
“Poor kid seems smitten, but they’ll get over it,” Elliott shrugged it off. We started down the sidewalk, and now Elliott adjusted his pace so I didn’t have to jog to keep up with him. I appreciated that.
“I hope they do it soon. It’s exhausting to second guess all my interactions with them. I try not to flirt around them too much without being too obvious about toning it down and drawing attention to the lack of attention.”
“I bet. But enough gossip about your admirer, you promised me comics,” Elliott said. But he gave me a gentle nudge, his arm jostling my shoulder. Playful and teasing. He touched me. His aura like a feral cat scoping me out to see if I might not be as much of a threat as he first thought.
“I did,” I said with a grin. It was a start, and I would take any overture Elliott offered me.
Chapter 10
Caleb
Apartment hunting soured within the first fifteen minutes. It seemed like a simple plan in the comfort of home. We had all combed through listings together and lined up viewings. I was prepared to intercede between Aaron and Elliott if tempers flared, but ever since their comic book outing the two of them appeared to have reached an understanding. They weren’t BFFs. But they were cordial with each other.
When we were all scouring the listings for likely housing, Aaron and Elliott got along fine. I took the ease with which we narrowed down our options as a good sign. We even agreed on a rank ordered wish list.
Aaron wanted separation between the two bedrooms. I wanted a modern kitchen. Elliott requested proximity to campus and transit since he didn’t drive much. Jake had accommodated everyone’s wants, but his request that each bedroom come equipped with a bathroom was proving a challenge.
I approached the day with optimism. This move was exciting. The reality of looking at places was worlds away from my idealized version though. Four people meant four opinions on everything. And it proved challenging.
Once we got inside the first place it turned out that Aaron had a weird fascination with the flooring material. He had a serious hate on for carpeting. Elliott fixated on the view from the first place we toured.
I had the unpleasant suspicion it had something to do with the ugly puke-green carpeting in the second bedroom that Aaron hated more than the city lights. Since the view came at the cost of living on the fourteenth floor—and Elliott hated elevators.
At the second place Jake fell in love with the gym. The actual apartment was smaller than Elliott and my current place though. It met Aaron’s demand for separation between the bedrooms. But the kitchen was a disaster. And it wasn’t close to UDub.
Aaron became vocal about liking the flexibility of the pet policy at the third place. Not that we had a pet. But as Aaron pointed out, we could get one if the lease allowed it. Elliott countered with his cat allergy. Aaron said he preferred dogs. And Elliott had a soft spot for dogs, so the pair of them were now plotting to go to a shelter once we signed a lease.
The fourth place was great. Until we saw the tiny second bedroom. Good luck telling Aaron he got that room. Or trying to fit our king-si
zed bed inside.
The manager at the fifth place balked at showing a two-bedroom unit to four dudes. The secretary I made the appointment with said it wouldn’t be an issue. But the man who greeted us in the lobby made a snide comment about the building being family friendly. Code for not friendly to my family. So we left without seeing it.
I was ready to slam my head into a wall trying to moderate all the bickering and new deal breakers that materialized with every new apartment. To be fair, Jake remained laid back. It was Aaron and Elliott who seemed to be unable to reach any kind of agreement.
If Aaron loved the character of the older building we looked at, Elliott hated how dated and dark it felt. If Elliott raved about the size of the bedrooms, then Aaron complained about the acoustics and having to hear wild sex.
When our last scheduled viewing of the day was a bust, my relief was palpable. That was saying something since it had been my top pick going into the day. The landlord called to tell me someone signed a lease for it at the last moment.
As it stood, I would have picked among our remaining options by pulling an address out of a hat and felt satisfied. Or better still, just move Aaron into the guest room at our current apartment. But Elliott and Aaron had their heads together arguing pros and cons in hushed tones.
I did a double take. Sure enough, Aaron and Elliot were no longer sitting against opposite sides of the back seat as they had been earlier in our excursion. Instead, the pair hunched over Aaron’s phone. They were talking animatedly. Touching even.
I poked Jake to get his attention and gestured for him to look too. He shot me an incredulous glance and shook his head in disbelief. I would never have suspected spending the day at each other’s throats over architectural finishes would be a bonding experience.
Jake pulled my car into the lot behind our apartment not long after that.
“Aaron and I have decided,” Elliott said with an imperious air. He waved the cell phone at me.
“Have you?” I asked, suppressing my amusement.
“We have,” Aaron said.
“This one,” Elliott said
He handed me the phone with the listing for the place with the pet policy they liked. They would choose that one. I glanced at the listing they had pulled up and saw it wasn’t for the unit we had toured. This unit had a third bedroom squeezed in between two larger ones.
“See? it solves the separation issue, there are two bathrooms. And that unit is in a building with gym access for Jake. They even updated the kitchen in that unit. Perfect for you, Caleb. And Elliott and I can get our puppy.”
Jake looked amused. I handed him the phone. The pictures made a solid case in their favor.
“What’s the difference in rent?”
“It’s only seven hundred more per month. Still within our budget.”
“Looks good,” Jake handed the phone back to Aaron.
“Caleb?” Elliott asked.
I met his eyes. And I was toast. My protest we didn’t need a third bedroom died on my lips. He wanted this. So I would move heaven and earth to give it to him.
“Let me call and see what we need to do to sign a lease,” I said.
“We’re getting a dog!” Aaron announced, gleeful. He and Elliott high-fived. Like two kids. At least they were getting along.
“We never agreed on the dog thing,” Jake said, tone mild.
“Sure, but Elliott and I vote yes. So we only need to wear you or Caleb down. Given enough time, I’m sure at least one of you will come around to our way of thinking.”
“My counselor said pets can help reduce anxiety,” Elliott added. It was a low blow.
“You play dirty,” I said.
Elliott shrugged, “You’re the one who encouraged me to see someone.”
“We can discuss a dog after we sign the lease, deal?” Jake said.
The look Jake shot me implied that he would stand firm against the pet proposal. I only gave him a helpless shrug. If Elliott wanted a pet, then I would not stand between him and the dog of his dreams. I was a sucker for giving the guy what he wanted.
“Deal,” Elliott and Aaron chorused.
I called the number on the listing, explained our request and got a link to an online rental application. Jake pulled it up on his phone and input our information and submitted it.
We went inside to eat. For once I felt too wiped out to cook so Elliott ordered delivery from a vegan place he liked. Within the hour we scheduled a time to meet the property manager at the apartment and sign our lease.
“Are we sure about this?” I asked the room at large as we finished our meal.
“I am all in,” Jake said. “You know this is what I want. All of us together.”
“I’m in too,” Aaron said. “I like you all at least as much as my last roommates, and I like living with Jake. Since he likes living with you two, this seems like the best solution to make everyone happy.”
“Elliott?”
“Truth? I have doubts. But I like the apartment. And I’m serious about getting a dog. A living creature to take care of. One I can touch without getting bogged down in human thoughts, you know?”
“But are you all right living with me?” Aaron asked, “it’s okay if this is too fast. I don’t want to push you.”
“I was not keen on the idea. That’s no secret. When Jake said he wanted to see you again, I hoped you and Jake would do your thing. He’d get you out of his system, and it would be separate from my family.
“But I guess if you’re part of Jake’s family then that makes you part of my family too. So. Welcome to the family, Aaron,” Elliott said.
And then Elliott shocked all of us by getting up and hugging Aaron. Aaron squeaked in surprise. But when Elliott released him, he pulled Elliott down to sit wedged between him and Jake on the couch. Elliott snuggled in, with a pleased expression.
“Okay then, we’ve got a lease to sign,” I said.
Chapter 11
Elliott
Aaron and I were driving to my old friend Julia’s place. Her new neighbor had a pair of terriers, which was against the terms of their lease. The landlord gave them until the end of the week to get rid of the pets. So they needed to re-home the dogs quick.
Julia had told me of the dilemma when I called to update her on my new address and mentioned that I planned on getting a dog. I’d brought Aaron into my confidence after the call and we’d made arrangements to pick up our new pups today.
We’d left Jake and Caleb at the new apartment. They were busy assembling the new living room furniture we had purchased. We had volunteered to do a pizza run. And we would. After we got the newest members of our little family.
Aaron had already stopped into the property manager’s office to pay the pet deposit. I had called ahead to confirm Julia’s neighbor was expecting us. All that remained was to bring the terriers home.
“So, you’re sure Caleb won’t freak out?” Aaron demanded.
“He won’t, I promise. Besides, Jake is the hard ass. And he’s so relieved you and I are getting along now I doubt he’d do anything to jeopardize it. Those dogs are ours. We’re talking forever home, okay?”
“Yeah. But perhaps we should tell them first?” Aaron fidgeted in his seat.
“The thing is, we could talk about it for months. Debate the pros and cons and come up with a detailed pet care schedule to rival the cleaning schedule debacle we experienced last night. Or, we show up with the little furballs, Caleb and Jake fall in love with their sweet little faces and it’s a done deal. I know which I prefer.”
“Well, I’m with you on avoiding more scheduling and shared calendars,” Aaron said with a mock shudder. “But I guess it feels dishonest?”
I sighed, he had a point. And going behind Jake and Caleb’s back was not my usual style at all. But I wanted these dogs damn it. With an almost irrational zeal.
Maybe part of it was that the pictures of the little gray mutt reminded me of Mrs. Stevens’ schnauzer, Sparky. Or the irrational
logic that if we had a pet to unite us, it would make the family I had cobbled together feel solid again—make it more real.
That was the heart of the matter. It had taken hours of sifting through my own feelings to reach that conclusion with my new therapist. Online counseling for the win.
Turned out I preferred having a computer between me and the hard emotional work of sorting out my baggage. It was helping though. After a month of bi-weekly sessions I was having fewer nightmares, and less anxiety. And no more bitchy outbursts directed at Aaron or my boyfriends. So that was a win.
At my therapist’s suggestion I’d also joined online forums frequented by other poly folks. It helped too. Gave me a place I could vent about the big relationship merger to people who accepted the relationship dynamics involved without judgment. Well, minimal judgment, it was still the internet, and some people lived for drama.
But my big epiphany came when I was talking about all the changes in my life of late. It wasn’t Aaron I had a problem with, per se. It was what he represented. My family changing.
The possibility of them leaving me alone again.
I hadn’t coped well. So the pet obsession was a declaration. A statement I had faith our family would stay together. Be a home for the little mutts.
But maybe I needed to make that declaration with words too, bring Jake and Caleb in on it instead of springing it on them. Be honest instead of expecting them to be the mind-readers.
I sighed, “you’re right.”
“I am?”
“Yeah, I’ll call Jake.”
I dialed and put the phone on speaker.
“Moretti,” Jake said. His special agent voice made him sound like someone from a cheesy cop movie. Geez, I smothered a giggle at the thought.
“Hey, it’s Aaron and Elliott, we’ve got you on speaker. Is Caleb handy?”
“Not particularly, which is why I’ve relegated him to reading the directions,” Jake quipped.
“Haha,” Caleb said dry as dust in the background. So their end was on speaker too. Good.