A Different Way

by Kathryn Shay

  After a minute passed, he smiled at the kids. He couldn’t be nervous or they would. In truth, he wasn’t feeling anxiety. Only expectation. “How many of you feel comfortable asking your questions on sex out loud?”

  Not one single boy raised his hand or spoke up.

  “I figured that.” He pointed the round coffee table in the middle of the furniture. “Take a paper and pen from there and write down one question that is most pressing on your mind.”

  Thankfully, they all grabbed writing tools. The sound of pencils scratching on paper filled the room.

  As they did the activity, Brady asked for assistance from God. Guide me to find ways to help these kids with their issues. Help them to be honest. Sometimes God didn’t answer but filled Brady with a sense of God’s presence.

  Then his own mind turned to sex. Which had been missing from his life for twenty-eight months. Yes, he knew the exact number. And missing was the right word. He craved that kind of intimacy with a woman.

  Be honest, Brady.

  God was talking today after all.

  With Lynne Lucas. I want to have sex with her.

  It’s good to admit that.

  “Reverend Brady. Um, we’re all done.”

  “Sorry. I was meditating on sex, too.” The words slipped out.

  Some jaws dropped. One boy’s jaw gaped. “Ministers have sex?”

  “Yes, Tommy, ministers have sex. Wholesome, healthy sex, hopefully.” Though for a long time, he’d wished he and Jenny could be a bit naughty now and then. “I’ll answer any questions about sex that you have, but I won’t share my personal experiences as a kid or an adult. I’m your minister and boundaries need to be set.”

  They nodded.

  “Now, let’s have the papers and I’ll read them randomly.”

  He collected and shuffled and read the top one. “My friends are saying they had sex. I feel pressure to have it, too.”

  Brady scanned their eager faces. Some were shy, some were expectant, all were paying attention. “You need to listen to your gut. It’s usually right. If you examine it, you’ll see that you shouldn’t conform to peer pressure if you’re not sure you’re ready.”

  “So, we’ll know when we’re ready?” The question came from Adam Matthews. He was glad the boy was talking.

  “If you’re honest with yourself, I believe you will.”

  Brady read another card. “I-I think we’re ready but I’m afraid to buy condoms in a drugstore in Crystal City. And I can’t get them online because they’d come to my house.”

  “Huh. This is tough. I guess you could think about asking an older boy to get them for you. Or an adult you trust.”

  “Our health teacher said you can drive up to Campton to get some. That’d be anonymous enough.” This from a football player with a very steady girlfriend who he brought to church.

  “There’s a clinic in Elmwood that sees kids free. You can get them there.” A quiet, intellectual boy gave that information. “Not that I’ve done it.” But he gave a sly smile. Huh!

  Brady continued. “Safe sex is crucial. Not only for conception but to prevent STDs. It’s your responsibility to have protection. And, let me tell you point blank, pulling out before ejaculation does not work. You’re kidding yourselves, guys, if you plan on that to prevent pregnancy.”

  A few of the kids reddened when he used the blunt terms. But man, kids needed to know this piece of information. He knew some teenagers convinced themselves the practice was indeed safe.

  He read more. “What if my girlfriend doesn’t want to and I do?” Brady kept his gaze neutral. “No means no, guys. Under all circumstances. You don’t want to push girls to have sex with you.”

  “But what should we do then?” This was an honest plea from another quiet guy.

  “There’s masturbation. I’m absolutely sure you all know what that is, no matter how sexually active you are or aren’t.”

  Several boys looked away, out the windows or down at their feet. One of them bobbed his knee up and down.

  “By the way, I consider masturbation totally healthy. But back to the first part of the question, my advice is to ask yourself if you value the girl you’re with. Do you respect her? If you do, you’ve got to strive for the moral integrity to listen and not push her.”

  There were other questions, and answers, but the last one threw him some. “My mother caught me with porn on the computer. She freaked. What’s so wrong with porn?”

  Brady fell back on his training. “Psychologists have objections. Usually, the movies portray stereotypical roles. The man is in control, and the woman is submissive. Sometimes there’s sadism and masochism involved.”

  Though his face was practically purple, a boy asked, “I don’t know what those things are.”

  Nobody snickered. This was too serious.

  “Masochism is letting yourself be physically hurt by someone. Spanking, hitting, tying somebody up so they don’t have freedom of movement. Sadism is the enjoyment of inflicting pain.” He sighed. “I have to say though, that there are some videos with loving, monogamous couples that…well, turn people on.”

  “Is that okay to watch then?” the same boy who asked.

  Sticky question that one. “I’m going out on a limb here but it’s pretty harmless.”

  The boys were quiet, internalizing what Brady said. Finally, Adam spoke up again. “You know, I think it’s important to tell us all this, but our parents should be hearing it, too.”

  Brady answered, “Maybe you need to initiate a conversation with them about sex.”

  Adam rolled his eyes. Others shook their heads. One kid mumbled, “That’ll never happen.”

  “All right. I understand some of you can’t bring up this subject. I’ll have to think about sex education for parents. Give me some time to do that.”

  Before they dispersed, the boys thanked him for his candidness. Adam stayed backed. Brady said, “Need more information?”

  “Maybe.”

  “You can talk to me. It’s totally private.”

  “Cindy and me, well, we want to go further. That’s what Dad senses. It’s true.”

  “Are you ready?”

  “I drove up to Campton yesterday.”

  “That’s being prepared, Adam. I asked if you’re ready.”

  “I think I am.”

  “Until that’s a definite yes, maybe you should give this more thought.”

  “Maybe.”

  Boy, was he on shaky ground here, Brady thought after Adam left. But he wasn’t about to abandon these kids when they sorely needed help. He wished like hell their parents were involved.

  I’ll need a little help with that, God.

  You did fine today. Talking with parents might go as well.

  He wished God would be clearer, but that was all he was going to get. At least God was with him in this! Briefly he wondered if Lynne had talked to Phillip about sex. Or any other parents in Flying Solo. Maybe he’d bring it up there.

  * * *

  Dressed in a down jacket, hat, scarf and gloves, Lynne walked outside into the brisk November night when Brady’s SUV pulled into her driveway. She opened the passenger door and he said, “I was going to come in and get you.”

  “No need.” She slid onto the front seat. And practically swooned. The car smelled male and musky, sexy and…wonderful.

  He leaned over and brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “You’re cold already.”

  A smile. “Not so much, now.” She leaned into his hand. “I like this.”

  He drew back. “I’m glad you’re riding with me.”

  “It’s only a half-hour there, but I’m glad, too.”

  Once he got on the road, he asked, “How were the last few days?”

  “Productive. I took the kids to work in the clothing room of the local DV shelter.”

  “Sanctuary House?”

  “Yes. Do you know it?”

  “Um, yeah. I’ve sent my…some women there.”

  “O
f course, you have. I’m sorry for them. It’s best to get help, though.”

  “It is. What did the kids think of it?”

  “At first, Phillip was resentful at having his Saturday derailed, so one of the Sisters of Fire, who’d brought us to the drop-off site, told him she’d been abused and he totally melted.”

  “I’ll bet. What a great experience.”

  “How about you?”

  “Interesting. I had an after-school session with a Boy’s Group I run. On sex.”

  Lynne felt her face redden. Not because she was shy talking about it. But because thoughts of Brady and sex had pervaded her mind lately. “How’d it go?”

  “Really well, if their parents don’t come after me with pitchforks.”

  She laughed. “That candid, huh?”

  “Let’s see, consensual sex, where to get condoms, masturbation and porn were all mentioned.”

  “Holy cow.” Her brow furrowed. “Both Ken and I talked to Phillip about sex, of course. We started early, so by the time he got to puberty, he was comfortable discussing his feelings. I give Ken credit. He told Phillip to come to us if he became sexually active. We wouldn’t lecture him. And we’d help him get protection.”

  “Very admirable.”

  “Yeah. Ken was a good father then, at least. But we never talked about porn.”

  “Kids can get it on their computers more easily these days.”

  “I guess. I’d bring it up now, but Phillip’s still floundering about the breakup.”

  “Best to wait, then.”

  “Whew. You had a hard day.” She chuckled. “Pardon the pun.”

  He laughed. “Speaking of sex, did you…have you thought about our conversation a few mornings ago?”

  “Only about a hundred times.”

  He placed his hand on her knee and squeezed gently. “Me, too. We should have a proper date.”

  “Recreational sex?”

  “As much as I’d like to, I don’t know if that’s the path to go.”

  “Here’s what I think. We’ll know when it is. So, yes, let’s have a date. Soon.”

  “Check your schedule and I’ll check mine and text you tomorrow.”

  They arrived at the town hall parking lot. Since it was November, darkness had fallen. He stopped under a tree, shut off the engine and turned to her. “Sorry about this, but I gotta do it after all the sex talk.” He leaned over and took her mouth. Not the light brush of her lips like after trivia. This was a carnal, mouth/tongue action that stole her breath. The weight of his arm around her, drawing her close added to the intensity.

  When they drew apart, both breathless, Lynne said, “This is ridiculous.”

  “And frustrating.” He stared into her eyes. “Maybe we are ready for some recreational sex.”

  Chapter 5

  * * *

  Bryce opened the door, took one look at Brady and said, “Emma, go on up and play with Millie. She’s waiting for you in her room.” Brady’s daughter left and his brother dragged him into the den which he closed off for privacy. Brady didn’t want to examine what he was doing, but he couldn’t refuse his brother’s request. They sat opposite each other on stuffed chairs. “What’s going on, Brade?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You look like the time you and Jenny were going to have sex and you asked me for condoms.”

  He delayed answering by glancing around the room. Family photos everywhere. He blew out a heavy breath. “I have a real date with Lynne.”

  “She didn’t react badly when you told her you’re a minister?”

  Brady felt the flush from his toes to his head. Again, he averted his gaze, pretending to study the light snow falling outside the window.

  “Brade, you did tell her.”

  He had to man up to this. “No. But I’m going to before anything more happens between us.”

  “That’s why you wanted Emma to stay overnight here?”

  “Yes. And tomorrow’s my Sunday off.” The pastoral relations committee had set six Sundays a year for Brady to have free, in addition to giving him a sabbatical, which he’d yet to take. “So, if you could keep her until I get back, I’d appreciate it.”

  “Of course. You’re making big plans, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, but I have my own condoms this time.”

  The corners of Bryce’s mouth turned up. “I’m happy for you. You’ve been so alone since Jenny died.”

  “And I’m tired of it. We have to keep this between us.”

  “All right. But, why? No one’s going to criticize you for going on with your life. You can come out of hiding after you tell her about your ministry.”

  “They’ll expect somebody like Jenny.”

  “Lynne’s a firefighter, right? It’s a more-than-respectable job. She’s a hero.”

  “I know. But she isn’t divorced yet. Legally separated, though.”

  “Huh. That could be an issue. Can’t you wait till the divorce is final?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  He sighed. “What does God have to say about all this?”

  “God’s been quiet all week.”

  “You should make your own decisions.”

  “Not without God. But I know God’s with me no matter what.”

  “I envy your faith.”

  “You do pretty well with yours.” Brady stood. “I’ll go say goodbye to Emma.”

  Bryce slid his arm around Brady’s shoulder. “Have fun, bro.”

  “Thanks.”

  * * *

  Lynne had driven out to the cottage on Dannerville Lake early in the day. She’d had the place professionally cleaned after Ken got his stuff out and she took the extra step of changing the locks. This place would be her haven when she needed one.

  She thought about Brady’s text to arrange the date.

  What time? Where? And can I pick you up?

  Nope, I have a better idea. Here are directions to my cottage on Dannerville Lake. It’s kind of fun in the cold weather and we can have privacy.

  You’re on. See you at six.

  I’ll be there.

  Now, she set grocery bags down on the counter which faced the wide wall of windows. She lifted out a gooey cake which smelled like rich deep chocolate, a turkey and stuffing, yams and beans, along with a couple of bottles of wine. Her breath hitched at the bagels, eggs and bacon she’d also purchased. She didn’t know if he’d stay overnight—or if he could because of Emma—but Lynne was prepared.

  In every way.

  Once the turkey was in—it would take hours—she went upstairs to the bath off the master bedroom and drew water. The room filled with the scent of jasmine oil she’d splurged on. She soaked for a long time, letting the heat and the jets drain her of tension.

  She wondered what kind of lover Brady would be. Probably tender and gentle and solicitous. Was he a talker? She didn’t think so. There was something about him…

  Afterward, she dressed in gray wool pants and a peach vee-neck sweater. On an impulse, she swept her hair up into a messy knot, stuck in hammered gold earrings and slipped into moccasins.

  She finished the preparations—scrubbing the yams and cutting the ends off beans—then checked the clock. He wasn’t due for two hours.

  The lake beckoned so she went to the windows and stared at the winter waves crashing against the shore. Then her computer chimed. Oops. She’d forgotten that the Sisters of Fire had a Zoom session. Happy for the distraction, she sat down at the desk in the living space and clicked into Zoom. Brooke was on—she’d set it up—and Tess. “Hi, there. How are you two?”

  Before they could answer, Trish and JJ joined them. Then, Annie appeared. “Look who I have?” Annie held a puppy. A tiny Yorkshire Terrier.

  “You got one?” JJ laughed. She did a lot of that lately.

  Trish said, “Goodbye sleep for a while.”

  “Yeah, and your all-nighters are coming in seven months.”

  Tess asked, “Boy or girl?”

&n
bsp; “Girl of course.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “I thought we’d name her together. You all get to choose one, then I’ll pick my favorite.”

  “Ollie,” Brooke said.

  “Where did that come from?” Annie asked.

  Her friend shrugged. “She’s looks like an Ollie to me.”

  “No way.” JJ turned her head to the side. “Honey, what should Annie name her dog?”

  Gorgeous Nick Barrows walked into the screen. His hair was messed and his shirt open. A collective sigh came from the group. “Scalpel.” He kissed the top of JJ’s head.

  Tess said, “Sassy. Then she can be a canine Sister of Fire.”

  “Lynne? You’re awfully quiet. You okay?”

  “I’m great.”

  “Then a name?”

  Lynne cocked her head. “Temptation.”

  “What?”

  “What?”

  “What?”

  JJ frowned. “Go away, Nick. Girl talk time.”

  Nick disappeared.

  Tess’s eyes narrowed. “Where are you?”

  “At the lake house.”

  Brooke said, “That sweater looks dynamite on you. Cashmere? New purchase?”

  “Yes to both.”

  Annie’s eyes widened. “You’re having a love tryst out at the lake? With the guy from Halloween?”

  “I am, if he shows up.”

  The doorbell rang. “Sorry ladies, he obviously did. I have to go. And I like Sassy the best.”

  Lynne clicked out of Zoom and hurried to the door.

  * * *

  Brady smiled at the picture she made. How could someone be both cute and sexy at the same time? He asked her.

  “Ha! It’s been a while since anybody called me cute.”

  “You probably hear sexy, though.”

  “Shush. Come on in.”

  Once she closed the door, he sniffed. “It smells like Thanksgiving.”