Love in San Francisco ; Unconditionally

by Shirley Hailstock

  Not with him.

  Before he’d appeared at the gala, the last time she’d seen him, he’d been on a stretcher, being wheeled into an ambulance. His spine had been stabilized with a cervical neck collar and an orange head-brace restraint. His face was smeared with blood, and the EMTs were working feverishly over his girlfriend.

  Ellie’s eyes were blurred with tears. Her father’s lifeless body lay against her. Blake never saw her, never knew she was there. She’d thought about telling him when she tried to see him at his office, but she knew she’d chicken out. How do you walk into a total stranger’s office and say, I’m responsible for your girlfriend’s death?

  The official report said it was an accident, but Ellie knew better what had happened. She was the cause. She should have tried harder, but she had her father to save. And she couldn’t even do that.

  On some level, Ellie was glad Blake wasn’t there to see her. Had he been, the two would greet each other as friends, and they could never be friends. Despite today. Despite the mood and the scenery and despite her attraction for him and his, if there was one for her, their lives were on different planes, different timelines. They had a past, but no present, and definitely no future together.

  That thought saddened Ellie. She hadn’t been involved seriously with anyone in a long time. She hadn’t felt an attraction this fast and fierce in forever—more like never. But it was wrong. She’d been responsible for Alexis Ferrell’s death. She couldn’t control the car. And a woman, along with Ellie’s father, had died in that accident. Blake had been seriously hurt, and several lives had collided, tangentially smacking them like billiard balls in different directions.

  * * *

  Blake rolled over in bed that night and looked at the digital dial on his clock radio. It was nearly two o’clock. He’d been dead tired when he got home, but unable to go to sleep. His mind was working a mile a minute, and it wasn’t about the store. That was where his usual thought processes were, but rarely did anything at the store keep him awake. This insomnia had to do with Elliana Hamilton.

  Why?

  Why couldn’t he put her in the same basket with the other women he’d dated? But he’d never dated Ellie. He’d only seen her twice and kissed her once.

  Blake sat up and swung his feet to the floor. He held his head in both hands. What had come over him? Why didn’t she resist? Why didn’t she turn her head or push his hand away? Why did she smell so good? She’d had a shower and wore fresh clothing. He would smell the lemony soap she’d used.

  He could still feel her softness, the texture of her mouth on his, the sweetness of her tongue tangling with his own. He could recall everything about her, as if the day had been imprinted on a section of his brain that was at the forefront of memory. And try as he might, he couldn’t push it away.

  Blake stood up, walked to the window and pushed the curtains aside. The city lay before him in all its colorful splendor. Where was she? Was one of those lights out there in the dark illuminating a room in her house or condo? He didn’t know which one she lived in, or even if she lived alone.

  Blake dropped the curtain and moved to the kitchen. He turned on a light and flipped the coffee pot switch almost simultaneously. Ellie was a diversion. He’d get over her, the same as he’d done—he stopped. He wasn’t going to allow that memory to take root. Ellie was the issue, not his past.

  His usual reaction would be to forget things, break it off, stop anything before it could begin. That was where he was with Ellie. Nothing had begun. Only one devastating kiss.

  But he had to see her again. He’d committed to the charities and he had to hold up his end—at least for one more time.

  Then it would be over.

  * * *

  The buzz of Ellie’s cell phone had her jumping. She’d been doing it for a week, ever since she gave Blake her number. They’d agreed to a plan, yet if he never contacted her for the next segment of it, she would gladly let it die from nonuse. Apparently that was not to be the case. The message indicator flashed on the screen. A second later, it disappeared and she saw the number one on the small icon. She clicked on it and read.

  Saturday morning, 6:00 a.m. Wear pants and bring a jacket.

  The message was cryptic and gave her no information of where they were going or what they would be doing.

  She nearly smiled. “Payback,” she said aloud to herself.

  Ellie thought about the message. She waited twenty minutes before replying that she would be there.

  She was still thinking about Blake when she left the office that night. She and Judi were meeting for dinner. Ellie arrived first and was led to a table. After ordering drinks for both of them, she took the offered menu and looked at it, but saw no words. Everything was a blur. Putting it down, she stared at the room, glancing once at the door to see if Judi had arrived.

  The date had been set, she thought. “Not a date.” She again spoke out loud.

  “What do you mean, not a date? Not a date with whom?” Judi asked.

  Ellie looked up. Judi was taking the seat in front of her. Ellie had been concentrating so hard that she hadn’t heard her friend approach.

  Judi waited, her face clear but expecting an answer.

  “It’s him, right?”

  Judi didn’t have to identify who she meant by him. Both of them knew.

  “He sent me a text. We’re going to the second function on Saturday.”

  Judi smiled. She was all for Ellie finding a relationship, but Judi didn’t know about the past that Ellie and Blake shared.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know.” She told her the details of Blake’s message.

  “And you didn’t ask?” Judi said in surprise.

  “It was payback.”

  The waiter arrived and they gave their orders.

  “What does that mean?” Judi continued when they were alone again.

  “When we first agreed on this, I challenged him by giving him an address to come to and telling him what to wear. He’s paying me back.”

  “So, you’re going on a date—”

  “It’s not a date.” Ellie was determined to get her point across to both her friend and herself that this was a lesson she was teaching Blake. Unfortunately she had to participate in it, too.

  “Even if it’s not, what’s so hard about spending time with a good-looking man? And it won’t hurt you if you develop feelings for him.”

  It would hurt. For a moment, Ellie wavered between telling Judi the truth, the whole truth about when and how she’d met Blake. Just before she spoke, however, she changed her mind. She’d held on to her secret for ten years. There was at least one person who knew about it, and Ellie didn’t believe she was totally on her side, but she wasn’t going to confide in Judi yet.

  “I’m not looking for a relationship,” she said. The words sounded false even to her ears.

  “Then you’re dead, honey. Crawl in the grave and pull the grass over you.”

  After a moment, Judi shifted in her chair and leaned forward. She whispered, “Ellie, tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for Blake Thorn that you’re hiding, even from yourself?”

  “I—”

  Judi raised her hand to stop Ellie from speaking. “Don’t answer too quickly. Take your time and tell me the truth.”

  Ellie waited a beat and then spoke. “I suppose there is something about him that attracts me.”

  “But...” Judi prompted.

  Ellie knew she couldn’t answer that. Not with the whole truth. “But I work for his family. I don’t want to have any crossover or interaction that might result in a conflict of interest.”

  Judi frowned, knowing that was another weak argument. She wasn’t sure if Judi understood conflict of interest between herself and the Thorns. She hoped she didn’t.

  The waiter returned, setti
ng two hot plates with sizzling steaks in front of them. The smell was wonderful, and Ellie’s stomach growled at her for keeping it so long at bay.

  “I don’t think a date will result in anything other than maybe a second date,” Judi said, cutting the tender meat.

  “We’re not dating,” Ellie said, a little stronger than she intended.

  “Well, I guess that’s a good thing.”

  Ellie stared at her friend. Why had Judi changed her tactics so abruptly?

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because he’s obviously dating someone else.”

  Ellie saw that Judi’s attention wasn’t on her, and it wasn’t on her food or drink. Turning to look, she saw Blake Thorn had just entered the restaurant. On his arm was the beautiful woman from the gala. A fizzle of something undefinable went through Ellie. For a man she hadn’t seen in ten years, he seemed to constantly be running into her. Their businesses weren’t that far apart, but she and Judi ate here enough to be semiregulars. She’d never run into Blake before. Yet there he was.

  And with a date.

  Ellie followed the two as they were shown to a table in another part of the restaurant. He never even looked in her direction. His attention was on the woman at his side. As it should be, she reminded herself. Yet that feeling inside her refused to find a place to hide. She wanted to leave immediately, but if she suggested they go just after the waiter had set plates in front of them, it would be like giving Judi a trump card. Every argument she’d given tonight would be in question.

  Surreptitiously, Ellie tried to eat and see what was going on at Blake’s table at the same time. She and Judi were sitting where he could not see them, but she had a clear view of his back. She failed at eating the food. For several minutes she pushed it around on her plate but ate nothing.

  “You know you’re wasting a perfectly good piece of meat.” Judi broke into her thoughts.

  Ellie looked at her friend, but Judi was looking at Blake. Suddenly her words rang home.

  * * *

  Last date. It was ironic that Blake thought of this as their last date when they hadn’t had a first date or any dates in between. He parked the Jeep in front of a small house on Mulberry Street and got out. He didn’t immediately go to the door, feeling he needed a moment to think about the coming day. He laughed at himself. This was something he’d never done before. Dates were easy. You went out. You had fun. You came back.

  Meet. Enjoy. Repeat.

  Only there was no repeat planned. This was the last time. He was sure she’d agree.

  He knew from the moment they ended the kiss on the hill overlooking the city that the move had been a mistake. And not on his part alone. They had both participated in it, but it had been the death knell to any future encounters. Today he would complete the promise he’d made, but after that... He didn’t think any further.

  Pushing himself away from the Jeep, he headed for the door. Ellie opened it and stepped out before he could ring the bell.

  “Good morning,” she said as cheerily as a cereal-commercial model. And she looked like a model. Blake’s body began to respond, and he quickly changed positions to stop its progress.

  “Ready?” he asked, his voice slightly deeper than normal. He felt like a teenager, nervous for a first date. He knew it was the kiss they’d shared the last time. Was she remembering it, too?

  He certainly was.

  He’d hardly been able to think of anything else since they’d left that breezy hill.

  “I hope this works, since I don’t know where we’re going or what we’re doing.” She turned in a full circle to show him her jeans, sweater and a short jacket over her arm. The jeans were formfitting to every curve of her tight bottom and long legs. Blake cleared his throat, which seemed to clog even at the thought of her. The full, three-dimensional package was a challenge to his entire bronchial system.

  Blake led her to the Jeep and opened the door without supplying any information about their upcoming day.

  “You’re paying me back, right?” she asked when he’d gotten in and pulled away from the curb.

  “Payback?”

  “For the way I gave you the address to the Purple Cloud Horse Farm?”

  “Why, Ms. Hamilton, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he drawled, impersonating a Texan.

  “That was terrible,” she said. “You’re from New York. I might believe a New York accent.”

  “You mean I don’t have one? I’ve lost it?” he asked in mock surprise.

  “Not lost. I’m sure you know where it is, and you’ll find it when you need to.”

  They’d become playful. It was all he could do to keep from pulling her into his arms. Those tight jeans and the sweater-girl look would make any red-blooded man look for an alternative to acting like a pubescent teenager at the sight of a pretty girl.

  And Ellie was more than a pretty girl. She had a beauty that seemed to glow, even if only in his eyes. He wove the Jeep through the streets of San Francisco until they were on the highway. As he took the exit that only led one place, Ellie spoke again.

  “The airport. What airport is this?”

  It wasn’t SFO, San Francisco International. There were no runways where they were going capable of taking off or landing a 747. Not even a 727, if they were still in service, would find this place amenable to its needs.

  Continuing down the road, Blake turned left and right three times before the road ended at a small airport.

  “‘Fifteenth Annual Diabetes Jump.’” Ellie read from the sign as they passed it. “Jump? What’s a jump?”

  They were at an airport. He wasn’t sure if Ellie’s question was rhetorical.

  She turned in her seat as much as the seat belt would allow. “We’re not going up in an airplane, are we?”

  “Yep,” Blake said. “This is the charity event I’ve chosen.”

  “I didn’t get a chance to read the entire sign. What does it say?”

  “It says this is the fifteenth annual diabetes jump.”

  “What diabetes charity does it benefit?”

  “The money goes to research, and its major benefit is to support Western Indian reservations.”

  Blake parked and cut the engine. Releasing his seat belt, he didn’t get out of the car, but faced Ellie. She was close in the small cab of the Jeep. If he slipped his hand along the back of the seat, he could caress her neck or thread his fingers through her hair. He curled his hands.

  Ellie nodded, giving both support and approval of his choice.

  “Who’s doing the jump?” she asked.

  “We are.” Blake opened the door and got out before she could say anything.

  “More payback,” Ellie whispered when he helped her out of the cab. He was unsure if she was talking to herself or if she intended for him to hear.

  “Have you ever been skydiving before?”

  She shook her head. “Somehow I think you already knew that.”

  “How about heights? Do you have a fear of heights?”

  “Too late to ask that, don’t you think?”

  He smiled, taking her arm and leading her toward the one-story airport building. Inside he saw Chase Locklear break away from a group and come to meet them. Chase was one of the first people Blake had met when he moved to San Francisco. They’d become friends, and Chase had introduced him to skydiving. Blake refused more of his invitations to fly than he accepted, but he did like the sport.

  “Blake, you made it.” Chase offered his hand as he came toward him. They shook, and Blake introduced Ellie. Chase looked every bit like the cover model he was. He had long black hair that passed his shoulders. Today he’d pulled it back and bound it with a leather strap. He reminded Blake of the first time he’d seen Chase. It wasn’t in person, but as a life-size cardboard cutout, standing on the edge of the book department in the
store. Women stopped and admired the poster before going into the department. He was pleased to discover the real man was a friendly person whom he immediately connected with. It didn’t take more than a couple of meetings for Blake to feel as if he’d known Chase since childhood.

  And that friendship had brought him to skydiving.

  “You’re flying with us today.” Chase gazed at Ellie.

  It was a statement, but Ellie answered it confidently. “Yes,” she said.

  “First timer?” Chase asked.

  “First timer,” she confirmed.

  “Hey, guys.” Chase spoke to the group of men in the corner. They all turned to look at Blake and Ellie. “We’ve got a virgin in our midst.”

  Blake felt heat steal up his face. He’d forgotten how base the guys could be and how much Ellie reminded him of someone who should be treated with utmost respect.

  Ellie laughed at the taunt.

  “Since Blake doesn’t have a license, I volunteer to do the tandem with Ellie,” one of them said.

  “Not on your life,” Blake said.

  “Sorry, guys. Blake already asked me,” Chase stated.

  A collective “aah” rang through the small building.

  The crowds had arrived, and it was time to get ready for the jump. Blake explained to Ellie what a tandem jump was and that she’d be in good hands with Chase.

  “Is he a good jumper?” she asked.

  Blake could hear the apprehension in her voice. “No need to worry. He’s the best. He took me on my first jump.”

  “And how many times have you jumped?”

  “Not as many as I should have. I have enough to go solo.” He wasn’t certified to teach, but that hadn’t been part of his needs. Not until today. He wished he could strap the tandem harness on Ellie and fly with her. Blake usually went flying when Chase called and cajoled him into a day away from the store.

  Chase came forward with the harness the two of them would fly in.