But it didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter because I wasn’t staying.
“No. I’m going back to the hotel. The night hasn’t turned out like I’d hoped.” I was super aware of Caleb still standing with us. He had to be anxious to return to the party. He put on a good face, because he was a gentleman, but this had to be annoying for him.
I could tell Rhett and Sydney had plenty of questions but neither asked me in front of him.
“You two should still go to the party. It’s open bar.” I smiled. “The music and food are good. Caleb said he’d help me get back to the hotel. So that’s what I’m going to do.”
Sydney frowned. “What? Are you sure? I’d feel awful attending this without you.”
“I’d feel awful if you came all the way to Tennessee and didn’t go. Trust me, I’m fine.”
My smile must have been convincing because, after another moment, Sydney gave in. Caleb talked to the people at the door and easily got them inside. Once they were gone, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. For as good of friends as Rhett and Sydney were, I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with them how much of a letdown this whole evening had been. I wouldn’t risk crying in front of people for a second time tonight.
“You’re pretty good at that,” Caleb said when we were alone once more.
“Good at what?”
“At lying.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. I’d always thought he had the same hazel-colored eyes as Ollie, the same color the whole Mills family had, but in the light from the streetlamps I could see green in his eyes. I wanted to be mad at him, too. But even after a comment like that, I couldn’t be. He hadn’t said it maliciously.
I shrugged.
When I didn’t say anything in response, Caleb got out his cell phone and made a call. In a moment the limo would be here.
We stood for another quiet minute together on the street curb. He ran his hand over the heavy stubble coating his face. He seemed tense, and I wasn’t sure why.
Was I making him tense?
“Maybe I am good at lying,” I confessed the moment the limo arrived. I reached out and opened my own door. “I think I lie to myself all the time. My mom’s sick. I put on a pretty good happy face and pretend everything is fine and that I’m not heartbroken over that every day.”
His eyes were on mine intensely. He stepped over to hold the door open for me. “I’m sorry about your mom. Really, I am. That can’t be easy. I hope one day you find someone you can be honest with in life.”
I had new tears in my eyes. “Thanks for being my friend tonight, Caleb.”
I leaned in, with every intention of kissing him goodbye on the cheek, but instead I kissed him on the lips.
It was the quickest peck—the next moment I was seated in the limo with the door closed, wondering why the hell I’d done that. I wasn’t even all that embarrassed I’d done it, either.
Back at the hotel, I changed out of my dress. Then I ruined two good washcloths scrubbing off the layer of foundation that had coated my skin tonight. I’d just slipped on my pajamas when there was a knock at my door.
It was a hotel employee—with a whole pizza, just for me.
~ CHAPTER 9 ~
CALEB
I’m having a hard time forgetting you
And the way your eyes shine in the color blue
“Damn,” I sighed, putting my notebook away in my backpack. It was around five in the morning and we’d been traveling on the tour bus all night. We’d be in Baltimore soon. It had been a couple weeks since the gala, and I still had this girl stuck in my head.
Ollie and I had a lot of tension between us following that night. But I spoke to him about it, and he’d admitted that he went too far.
He’d tweeted about it yesterday, offering a formal apology to her and the world, explaining the situation in a brief statement. A statement Michelle probably had helped him write.
I’d been checking the comments on his tweet pretty religiously since.
Maybe Emma would have seen it and responded. But no, there were only hundreds of messages from fans, commending him on how much courage he had to open up to the world about this. For many of them, Ollie could have admitted he was a terrorist and they would have still loved him just the same.
I had an idea for a way I might be able to see Emma again. I wasn’t sure if it would work or if she’d even care to see me again. It was a gamble, and I really wasn’t much of a gambler when it came to my heart. I’d already learned my lesson on that in the past. But I knew I might always regret it if I didn’t at least try.
I had only five more days before our concert in Richmond, Virginia. Which was the closest stop to her town of Kill Devil Hills.
So it was now or never.
~ CHAPTER 10 ~
EMMA
“This just came for you,” Pop announced. He dropped a Fed-Ex envelope on the kitchen counter as he returned to cooking an assortment of veggies.
He planned on moving in with us soon. He kept saying he was too old to continue living alone, but I knew better. He was doing it for me and Luce—to take some of the burden off us. And for my mom, to make sure she had twenty-four seven, around-the-clock care on the days when Luce and I both were working.
Selling his house, like he planned to, would also help immensely with the medical bills. My mom had insurance, but her deductible was high and it didn’t take away from the fact that the same gene that was hurting my mom, was likely there inside Luce and inside me, too.
BRCA1 and BRCA2—the breast cancer genes. She didn’t have just one, but both mutations.
Breast cancer had killed my grandmother. Now it was killing my mom. And if the DNA tests that Luce and I recently took showed the same genes in us, we’d be at a very high risk as well. We’d need to consider surgery to remove... to remove....
I couldn’t even think about it.
The thought terrified me.
Pop pointed at his four different pots of green things boiling on the stove. “Am I doing this correctly?”
He’d always been a meat and potatoes kind of man, but we were all making this dietary change. My mom had it in her mind that all the refined sugar and processed food in our diets was only feeding her cancer, and the future chance of cancer in us.
I’d always been a healthy weight, but I’d dropped five pounds in the last month because of this.
“You’re doing great, Pop,” I told him, patting his back.
I grabbed my package and set off for the living room. My mom was in there sleeping in her chair. I quietly sat down on the couch and carefully opened the thick envelope. I hadn’t been expecting anything, so I wasn’t sure what I’d find.
Tickets!
Inside the envelope were tickets to the Sunset Revival concert this weekend in Richmond, Virginia. There were five of them, and they were all front row seats. Also inside were two backstage, all-access passes.
Holy shit. Was this for real?
There was a note. My stomach went a little jittery as I read it to myself. It simply said:
To make up for everything
Careful not to make a sound, I left the living room and raced upstairs to my room. The note in the package hadn’t been signed. My head swirled. Was it from Ollie? Or was it Caleb who had sent these tickets?
Also, if I went, who would I take?
One quick search on the internet—and I learned that the resale value of these tickets was around $500 a piece!
That amount of money was crazy to me.
I couldn’t just go and have a good time, I’d have to sell the tickets. I’d just have to. I needed the money more than I needed to see my favorite band in concert.
***
Four days later.
I sold the tickets. For $2300! Well...technically I sold four of the five tickets. As much as I wanted to be cool and poised about this, like this wasn’t the best gift of my life, I couldn’t deny how much I wanted to see Sunset Revival in per
son. And from the front row! I didn’t sell the second backstage pass, mostly because I didn’t want to unknowingly sell it to some psychotic fan. Even though I probably could have gotten triple for that alone.
As I drove to Richmond, I was screaming on the inside, unable to wipe the giddy smile from my face. It was about a three-hour drive, which I made in two and a half hours. I drove so fast out of sheer excitement.
And for as pumped as I was about the concert, I was equally nervous about the backstage passes, and possibly seeing the guys again.
Caleb sent the tickets.
After debating it in my mind, I decided they had to be from him. What I couldn’t decide was if there was a different reason, more than an apology, behind the tickets.
I was about to find out.
I couldn’t not find out. That was the real reason I couldn’t sell that last ticket, the real reason I was driving to Virginia. Caleb and I had gotten along like old friends that night at the gala, but had there been more there between us? I’d been so distracted by Ollie, my feelings from that night were uncertain.
The worst part of all of this... I still had a boyfriend. Nick and I hadn’t seen each other since I got back from Tennessee. I’d been avoiding him and avoiding making a decision about the future of our relationship.
My mom had said it several times. I worry about you. I worry who will keep you grounded when I’m not around anymore. That’s why I’m so thankful you have Nick. He’s so level-headed. It gives me comfort knowing you’ll be okay after I’m gone.
I couldn’t break up with him, not when he meant so much to my mom. But I also couldn’t keep up this charade with him either. He deserved to know how I truly felt. That I wasn’t happy in our relationship. It was truly one of those “it’s not you, it’s me,” situations.
So on top of my excitement and my nerves—I felt guilty as hell about this little excursion. I’d nearly turned around three times. But it was too late now because I was here. I pulled into the huge parking lot at the convention center.
Adorned with my backstage lanyard like it was a badge of honor, I entered into the massive venue. There were people everywhere—every age, guys and girls, even some kids. I’d never been to an event like this.
Because I’d worked earlier today, I hadn’t had much buffer time to get to my seat before the concert started. But I needed something first. A t-shirt. I didn’t know what tonight might bring, but I’d always wanted a band shirt. I hadn’t been anywhere or done anything special enough for a t-shirt. And while in Tennessee I’d forgotten to get one. So tonight I would start my t-shirt collection.
I found the line, made my purchase, and started perusing my way to the main arena. Employees helped me along the way—my badge of honor came in handy for that. Until I finally made it my seat. A group of rowdy women, the people who must have purchased my four other tickets, were to my right.
That was when a fresh new round of jitters set in under my skin. The headliner, another southern-rock band I’d missed performing, had already finished and the stage was set and ready to go.
The sun had gone down somewhere between parking and buying my t-shirt and navigating through the masses. As the last couple minutes ticked away, I tried to talk myself through the possibilities of how tonight might go. Basically—wonderfully or terribly.
Then the lights in the arena dimmed and fog on the stage began to roll. The people around me grew quieter as it seemed everything was about to begin.
But it didn’t begin.
They made us all wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
It was Caleb I saw first. He was dressed very causally in a white t-shirt and tight-fitting dark jeans. As he stepped out on the stage, the people went wild.
The woman beside me, craziest of all. She screamed, “I want to suck your beautiful cock, Caleb Mills!” at the top of her lungs.
He looked right in my direction.
Mortified. Absolutely mortified, I ducked down in my seat.
This wasn’t how I’d imagined tonight beginning.
~ CHAPTER 11 ~
CALEB
“I want to suck your beautiful cock, Caleb Mills!”
Really...I’d heard my fair share of everything coming onto a stage. Cat calls. Proposals. Dirty offers. Even a death threat once. Most of the time, even after years of success, I felt pretty average during my daily life. Like I was an imposter in my own shoes. But when I stepped foot onto the stage, in front of our fans, I was a god. Sure, my brothers and Dani received a great deal of attention too. But I was still the lead singer. It was my voice they came to listen to. Me in the center of that stage.
Tonight, as a woman yelled the “suck your cock” comment, I knew exactly which tickets I’d sent to Emma. I knew exactly where she might or might not be.
The comment came right from where she was supposed to be sitting. And for a fleeting nano-second, I thought I saw her. I thought maybe she’d shouted it. But I only spotted a brunette woman standing there, making a lewd gesture with her hand and tongue against her cheek.
I walked closer to the spot. The guys were adjusting their instruments, settling in, giving the crowd another lingering moment to build anticipation. We’d start the show in the next few seconds.
The woman making the gesture stopped at once as I approached. She looked pissed-drunk. My stomach dropped thinking Emma wasn’t here. That my plan had been futile. That she hawked the tickets I’d sent her.
But Emma was here. I spotted her ducking down in her seat. I saw her once I was close enough. Her face was an adorable, vibrant shade of red as we made eye contact. She wore a band t-shirt, a recent one like she’d bought it here tonight, and she had her backstage pass around her neck. I liked seeing her. I especially liked seeing her with my band’s name across her chest. She was just as beautiful as I remembered.
“Hey,” I mouthed, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hear me over the noise in the venue.
“Hey,” she returned, smiling.
She slowly stood back up. I could tell the woman’s comment had embarrassed her. I didn’t want to make this awkward. I returned to my guitar, which had been left, propped up for me next to Dani’s drums by one of the stage assistants.
Quickly, I put the strap over my shoulder, as I knew the others were ready and waiting on me. My fingers fell into place on the strings as I approached my microphone. I made a couple last second adjustments as Dani started the beat.
“Thank you,” I addressed the crowd. “We’re Sunset Revival.”
Wasting no more time, I started the rhythm to one of our most popular songs.
The crowd cheered, and I sang.
I sang like I always did.
We’d been playing six concerts a week for the last two months. So by this point in our tour, there didn’t need to be much thought behind performing. It was all muscle memory, lyrics burned into my brain, and repetition on the strings.
I tried not to think about Emma watching. About what she thought of me. But there was a difference between tonight and other nights. A difference I couldn’t shake. I kept her in the corner of my eye. I tried not to show it, but I played for just her tonight.
Performing never got old. My brothers and I had our issues, but the high of playing under the lights, with thousands of voices singing our words along with us, knowing all the blood and sweat it took us to get here...it made all the other family shit worthwhile. We were in perfect harmony for that precious time on stage.
We played song after song, until we reached the end of our set. As the lights faded to black, the clapping and cheering that followed was deafening. The noise continued as we exited to the side of the stage. The fans were screaming for an encore, and they’d get one, once we all caught our breath.
Backstage, before I’d even had a moment to regroup or think, Ollie was immediately in my face. “What the fuck was Emma Winchester doing in the front row?”
I took a towel from an assistant. Sweat dripped
off me like I was an NBA player.
The towel helped.
Encore. Encore. Encore.
“Emma Winchester,” he repeated, still standing too close. “The girl that won the charity date. Ring any bells? Why is she here?”
“I sent her tickets,” I answered evenly.
Encore. Encore. Encore.
“Is this your way of forcing me to apologize? Was this Michelle’s idea?”
“Come on,” said Dani. She shoved between Ollie and me, grabbing my arm. “Can we please get the encore over with? I’m too tired to listen to you two argue tonight.”
I didn’t indulge Ollie, and instead followed Dani. I wanted to get it over with as much as she did. Physical exhaustion had started to set in. We finished our last song, our most popular song, the one we always saved for last. For the entirety of it, Ollie was shooting angry looks in my direction. I didn’t need to explain myself to him. He had no claim over Emma.
When the song finished, I was quick to end this.
“Goodnight, Virginia. Thank you. We love you.”
I made eye contact with Emma, the first time I’d actually done so since the start of the night. She made my heart beat even harder. And that sort of emotion wasn’t something I wanted to show on stage. It was why I’d barely looked at her all night. With a quick bow and a wave to the sea of fans, my guitar still in my hand, I left that stage before anyone could say anything to me. It would take Emma a little bit of time to navigate the crowd for the security check point, where she’d be let back stage. So I had a few minutes of time to myself in my dressing room. There was a shower. I stripped naked and hopped in under the cold water. I needed to cool off. I needed to relax. But mostly, I didn’t want to be all sweaty when I met her again. After scrubbing and rinsing, I dried off and pulled on a fresh outfit. I felt better. Prepared. I left my room and went to go find her.
Never Trust a Rockstar Page 4