It was important that I found her before Ollie did.
~ CHAPTER 12 ~
EMMA
This was incredible.
I’d always loved their songs, always loved Caleb’s voice, but hearing it live, hearing it as I watched him onstage singing to thousands... I had goosebumps on my arms and chills running me over.
His voice was raspy and rich and soulful. But mostly... sexy. So damn sexy. Some of his Tennessee drawl came out when he sang, which probably should have been illegal.
I swallowed down a massive lump in my throat, and just sort of stood there, as the crowd around me sang as loudly as possible. My eyes remained on Caleb. He was incredible to watch. So talented. I hadn’t let myself think too much about that impulsive kiss I’d given him the night of the gala. But seeing him now, it was all I could think about. If I’d seen him preform prior to it, I never would have had the courage to do something so crazy.
After a few songs, I began to relax a little. I sang along. The woman next to me turned out to be a ton of fun. We were instant friends as we enjoyed the concert together. At one point she left for the bathroom and brought me back a bottle of water. Which was super sweet of her—because I was parched, sweating under the heat of the stage lights and the humid September air.
I let myself take in Ollie too. He glanced in my direction a few times. He knew I was here. I think he recognized me. Or at least he had that “where do I know her from” look of wonder on his face. It had been a little over three weeks since the gala. Plenty of time for him to forget I existed. At first, I was a little broken up, a little disappointed, about Ollie and how everything went down with him. But it wasn’t like a normal breakup. Because the recovery time was incredibly quick. That told me I hadn’t been in love with him in the first place, maybe just the fantasy of him. Maybe it helped that there was Caleb.
I didn’t want to just substitute one crush for another. Caleb for Ollie. I wouldn’t let myself do that. I wouldn’t go down that road twice. I was here because... because... well, I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure why I was here.
Well, I knew why I was at the concert. Because I liked good music. I just wasn’t sure beyond that. I wasn’t sure where Caleb fit into everything.
Once the concert ended and people started to file toward the exits, I was faced with a decision. Go home? Or use my backstage pass?
Despite the nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that I would probably come to regret this and that I should leave the good image I had of Caleb intact in my mind, I physically couldn’t leave. My feet would not take me to the exit. My heart would not let this go. Deep down, I wanted to know what would happen if we spoke again.
Dammit.
So here I was, standing with several other women, before one ox-sized security guard at the ‘Band Members Only’ entrance. I wasn’t really sure what was happening. None of the others waiting had badges like mine. I clutched it in my hand, kind of hiding it, because I wanted to see what was going to happen.
It appeared the man was choosing a few women—fans—to go backstage to see the guys. And he was choosing them based solely on looks.
“You and you.” He pointed to two of the tallest, most scantily dressed, most beautiful women in the group. This whole selection process, like we were cattle, made me feel sick to my stomach. I wondered what happened beyond those doors. Did I really want to know?
I’d worn a great amount of foundation again to cover my less-than-perfect skin. It was something I wouldn’t normally do. I’d straightened my curly hair. Also something I never bothered with. And now I wished I hadn’t. Because, Rockstar or not, I’d never want to be with someone who picked me only because I looked a certain way.
“That’s all I’m letting go backstage,” Mr. Ox decided. “Be safe getting home tonight, ladies.”
The girl standing beside me sighed. She looked so disappointed, almost in tears, as if all that mattered in life was getting picked and getting access beyond that door to meet the guys. I saw myself in her. Me from one month ago. But I’d grown wiser since. I knew the truth—that Ollie Mills wasn’t all he seemed to be.
“Here,” I told her. I pulled off my backstage pass and slipped it into her hands. “I think you should have this.”
Her jaw dropped as she looked down, realizing what I’d given her. “What?!”
“Go,” I told her.
She didn’t hesitate. Another moment and she was through the door, past Mr. Ox. Caleb had sent me two of those passes, but I’d only brought the one thinking I’d only need the one.
My stomach tightened. Had I just made a major mistake? I didn’t leave my spot. I felt too queasy to move. It was a great big ball of confirmation that I had really wanted to see Caleb again and that—
Holy shit, Caleb.
The ‘Band Members Only’ door opened, and it was him. The girls still waiting went crazy. Squealing and screaming. Let’s be honest, I went a little crazy too—but on the inside.
His eyes met mine briefly. “Come with me, Emma.”
I guess I could have mentioned I had doubts about whatever the hell was going on with this whole selection process and that door. But I didn’t. I felt pretty special that he’d singled me out. So I took his hand and followed him to the other side.
The other side wasn’t too exciting, basically just as expected. A hallway that led us past the stage area. Lots of people were working to take down the stage equipment. We kept walking to where there were several doors. One said Ollie’s name. I heard a good deal of commotion, and giggling, coming from the other side of that door. I assumed that was where the women before me had gone.
Another door said Caleb’s name. He stopped with me in front of it. “Do you want to see my dressing room?” he asked. It was the first thing he’d said to me since he took my hand—my hand that he’d been holding right up until this moment. He dropped it to open the door.
“Sure.” I folded my arms over my chest and went inside. I’d been relaxed around him the first time we’d met. But I wasn’t relaxed now. Far from it.
He let out a breath as the door closed behind us. “We have people that come ahead of us, decorate these rooms, try to make them feel homier. This venue is decent. Not all have such nice backstage rooms. You want something to eat?”
The room looked incredible to me. It had a couch with some colorful pillows, a few framed pictures of people that looked like Caleb’s family on one giant vanity, and even some fresh daisies in a vase. There were snacks and drinks on a table. I guess someone brought that stuff in, too.
“I’m okay, thank you.”
He sat down on the couch. His hands rested on his knees. “Did you enjoy the show?”
I nodded.
I knew I was acting awkwardly, standing like a statue with my arms so tight across my chest. I guess I was nervous as hell, more so than I ever expected. Seeing him on stage for the last hour had changed everything.
“Did you come alone?” he wanted to know.
“Yes.” I didn’t elaborate further.
“And you gave your backstage pass to that girl. I realized you had the second she came through the door and you didn’t.”
So he’d been waiting for me on the other side? “She seemed pretty disappointed when she wasn’t selected. Which, by the way, what was up with that?” It might have been rude of me to ask, but I found I needed to know. My curiosity wouldn’t drop it.
“It’s not uncommon to let a few people backstage to come meet us afterward. But that is really for Ollie’s benefit only. The girls are for him.”
“You mean, like they get to come backstage to sleep with him?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. But Ollie usually gets what he wants.”
Caleb stood. He moved across the small space, pouring some water into a glass. I thought he’d poured it for himself. But he stepped closer and handed it to me.
Could he see that I didn’t just have butterflies gently fluttering in my stomach? No—they
were gnawing through my flesh, eating me from the inside out, cutting a giant hole through my gut.
I took the water he offered and tried to sip it as a normal person would.
“Nice shirt.”
I nearly smiled. “Thanks. I had to get one. I realized I don’t have many t-shirts from stuff like this. This was my first concert.”
“Really?”
“Pathetic, right? I’ve only been to Virginia a few times and it’s about as far as I’ve ever gone. Except Nashville now, too.”
“Hmm,” he said, his eyes narrowing. He leaned back against the table, crossing his arms. “How far was your drive to get here?”
“Three...”
Knock. Knock.
Someone was at his door. I instantly felt a little disappointed because I wanted this to continue, just the two of us, no matter what was going to happen. Plus, I’d finally begun to relax around him. He had a calming way about him. I saw that same side to him at the gala. I wanted to see more of it now. But our moment ended.
Caleb seemed reluctant as well, but he answered the door.
And if I thought I was uncomfortable before, the feeling was about to double. Because it was Ollie on the other side. Ollie, with the girl I’d given my backstage pass to.
~ CHAPTER 13 ~
CALEB
I wanted to strangle Ollie. Which was becoming a common occurrence between us. Normally after a concert Ollie liked to ‘unwind’, which usually meant fucking whatever groupie was available to him. Women would throw themselves at us. It was never hard to find someone beautiful, willing, and waiting just outside some door.
I felt I needed to shelter Emma from the reality of our lives. She had an innocence to her that didn’t need corrupting. She’d asked about the selection thing and hadn’t been incorrect. Sometimes Ollie himself would go out and handpick girls. He had a reputation for it. The women who waited around after a show knew exactly what this was about. They were getting hand-picked to sleep with him.
I’d be lying if I said I’d never done it myself. I went from awkward virgin to famous singer overnight, and there was a lot of drinking, partying, and random hookups in the beginning.
I wanted to believe that I’d moved past that stage. That my life wasn’t those fast, blurry, sloppy nights anymore.
When I opened my dressing room door to Ollie on the other side, I could tell by the stupid smirk on his face that was exactly what he thought I was doing with Emma. But it wasn’t the case. I wanted something more from her. But I just wasn’t sure what that something more was yet.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to be civil.
“Well, the bus is leaving to take us over the hotel in like two minutes, in case you were wondering and wanted to be on it. And since she’s here, I need to speak with Emma for a moment.”
Shit. And what did the girl wearing Emma’s backstage pass have to do with any of this? His backup plan?
“Okay.”
I wanted to be like a goaltender, blocking the net in a tied game, Ollie the opposing player. But I stepped partially aside and let him come in the room, just an inch.
“Can I talk to you for a moment outside?” Ollie asked Emma. His voice and the expression on his face seemed harmless enough, not cocky or sleazy, but I knew better—he had to be working some angle.
“I don’t think so.”
With me a moment ago there’d been a vulnerability radiating off her. I’d never felt something so strong or pure. But now with Ollie, she was different. She was calm and confident.
“I’d like to apologize,” Ollie offered.
Her expression stayed even. “Apology accepted. But I really don’t think there’s anything else to say.”
“Did you see my tweet about it?”
“No. I don’t follow you on Twitter. Seriously, apology accepted. Can we be done with this?”
“Okay,” I added. “See you on the bus in a few.” I nudged Ollie so he’d have to leave. And he did, with a confused look on his face. I knew without a doubt this would only make Emma more appealing to him. And that sickened me a little.
Once the door closed, as I turned back around, Emma said, “So you’ve got to go to your hotel. And I should probably get on the road because I have a three-hour drive ahead of me and it’s already late.”
Her eyes connected with mine, searching for something. An out to that terrible plan, maybe? A weight sat on me, this fear that if I didn’t do something right this second, I might never see her again after tonight.
“That sounds like the worst plan I have ever heard,” I told her bluntly.
For the first time since she entered this room, she smiled. “And you have a better one?”
“Yes. Stay.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly. I’d opened up that vulnerability thing in her again. She stared back at me so intently, a look on her face that was a mixture of terror and intrigue, that I felt some of that vulnerability wash over me too. I wanted to kiss her. But my own insecurities were there, a roadblock in my way, and I hesitated.
“You can stay at my hotel. In my suite—I’m sure it will have more than one room to it. They are always nice. You can have your own room. I don’t think you should drive back alone at night. Or even walk out to the parking lot alone right now. So stay…as my friend.”
Did I want her to be only my friend? Fuck no. But it was safer to go the friend route. At least for now.
“I’m not getting on the bus with Ollie.”
“Good, because I don’t want you to. We can take a cab. Or your car.”
She breathed in and out a few times, debating this. “You’d walk out of here to my car? I don’t think that would go well.”
She had a point. It hadn’t been that long since the concert ended. There would still be plenty of people left to recognize me.
I ran my hand over my face and beard, forming an idea. I went to the bathroom and motioned for her to follow. I had all my luggage in the bathroom. Rummaging around in my stuff, I found a baseball cap. Then in my toiletries, I found my glasses. I’d had Lasik eye surgery a year or so ago, but these were anti-blue light lenses, which I never wore like I was supposed to when on my computer.
I put both on.
“Would you recognize me?”
With a smirk on her face, she nodded. “Yes.”
Hoodie. I had one of those too. I dug it out of my bag and put it on even though it was way too hot for one. “Now?”
She shrugged. “Probably.”
“I could shave.”
“No,” she responded quickly. “Don’t do that.”
“You like the beard?”
She fidgeted with a strand of her blonde hair. “Yeah, I do.”
Okay—Ollie didn’t have a beard, while I did. So check one in my column.
“I’m just going to have to risk it, then.” I grabbed a few things out of one of my bags and shoved them into my smaller duffle bag. The road crew would pick up the rest of my stuff when they packed up my dressing room. Then I slung my duffle over my shoulder. “Alright, Emma, after you. Let’s go find your car.”
~ CHAPTER 14 ~
EMMA
Caleb Mills was driving my car. Holy shit. I couldn’t believe that the lead singer of Sunset Revival was inside my ancient, rusted, mint-colored Volkswagen Beetle. I desperately wished I’d let Pop vacuum out all the sand last week when he’d offered. But he was old, and I would have felt awful if he pulled a back muscle while cleaning out my car. So now I had to hope it was too dark for Caleb to notice how much of a sand trap it was on the inside.
“Where’s the turn?” Caleb asked.
I was navigating on my phone. “Next right. Just up ahead there at the light.”
“I haven’t driven in a couple months.” He ground my stick shift down into second gear as he took the turn. “And I haven’t driven stick since I was about fourteen, and that was on a tractor.”
On a tractor? How country was he?
“You’re doing great,�
�� I said politely.
“And you’re a good liar.” He chuckled. “Okay—this is it.” He came to a screeching halt outside a very fancy hotel somewhere in downtown Richmond. “Let’s just valet park it,” he said, immediately cutting the engine.
Fine by me.
We hopped out and left the car. I didn’t have anything with me. Not even a purse. My stomach rumbled with hunger, and I kind of wished I’d taken Caleb up on his offer and ate some of the snacks in his dressing room.
Inside the hotel, he walked up to the counter, grabbed something—a little booklet—from someone standing there. They must have been waiting for him, expecting his arrival. I guess when you were a celebrity, you didn’t need to bother waiting in a line to check into your hotel.
He still had his hoodie up, and surprisingly no one had yet to recognize him. Except maybe the person who’d just handed him that booklet. He dug through it as we got on the elevator. He pressed the button for the penthouse floor and used a key card from inside the booklet to access it.
I tingled from head to toe with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see what sort of room he had at this fancy hotel. A minute later we were off the elevator and at another door, one of only a few on this top floor
“If a place only has one suite like this, we take turns on who gets it,” he explained. “Or sometimes we share. Or sometimes we just sleep on the tour bus. I’ve actually been here before and it’s nice.”
Nice was the freaking understatement of the year. It was gorgeous. Polished marble floors, a chandelier like in a movie, and enough space to fit a bowling alley. He’d been correct, there were multiple rooms. His whole band could have easily shared this room. And then there was a pool—yes, a pool!—on the freaking balcony. One of those infinity pools, and it overlooked a view of the city. I desperately wanted to swim in that pool. But I didn’t have a swimsuit, and even if I did, there was no chance in hell I’d feel comfortable in a swimsuit in front of Caleb.
Never Trust a Rockstar Page 5