Never Trust a Rockstar

by Sarah Darlington

  “You’re the only person who has seen me like this now. You can be honest with me. You don’t have to say they’re nice just because you don’t want to hurt my feelings. The truth is I’m thinking of cutting them off, and I can’t stand the idea of no one having ever seen them like this.”

  His eyes were soft. The green in them shined brighter in the light of the sun. He wasn’t saying anything, so I continued.

  “My mom has breast cancer,” I clarified. “And I have her same gene. So I’m probably going to get the surgery because there’s a good chance I will get breast cancer one day, too. The surgery will lower my chance drastically.”

  Now I had tears in my eyes.

  Caleb had to be wishing he never came to North Carolina right about now.

  But he surprised me when he dropped the hoodie and my shirt into the sand. Then he stepped closer. He circled my wrists with his warm fingers, and gently pulled to move my hands away from my chest.

  He looked at me again.

  My nipples were so hard they hurt. This time his scrutiny felt a hell of a lot more intimate. This time his eyes on me felt a lot less like scientific research.

  “It’s a damn shame,” he said, taking me in. “You are so fucking beautiful. But I thought you were beautiful before now. And I’m going to think the same thing later on.” He moved my hands back, so that they were in place, each one covering an individual breast again.

  He bent down and grabbed the hoodie, not bothering to pick up my shirt or my bra. He shook out the sand. Then he draped his hoodie over my shoulders.

  I put my arms through the holes, and he zipped it up. He had one more opportunity to see me as he slowly—painfully slowly—inched up the zipper.

  That slide of the zipper, the brush of it against my now overly sensitive skin, had my whole body tingling. It was like all my surfaces were buzzing with an electric current.

  Caleb wrapped his arms around me. I held onto him tightly as he held onto me. I buried my face against the warmth of his chest, breathing in his fresh scent, while my eyes stayed on the ocean. I watched the waves crash and retreat against the sand. And for a small moment the world didn’t seem so terrifying.

  A few minutes passed before I asked, “Can you take me home now?” I suddenly felt exhausted and only wanted to sleep.

  He nodded, not saying anything else. But I swear, and maybe it was just the cold wind, there might have been tears in his eyes, too.

  ~ CHAPTER 26 ~

  CALEB

  The image of Emma half-naked on the beach, her perfect tits exposed in the sunlight, was causing me serious heart palpitations. Every time I thought of her over the next few days, it nearly brought me to my knees. I wanted more time with her. I needed it.

  When we’d said goodbye that day, with only a hug, it had been like medieval torture. And the texts that we’d been exchanging, all of them still about the damn hoodie, were driving me more insane. I’d never been good at waiting, but I was waiting for her. And the personal hell I was putting myself through in the meantime…well, it didn’t matter.

  I’d started researching breast cancer, prophylactic mastectomy, and possible surgeons across the country. Emma sounded pretty set on her choice to have this surgery. Which after researching it, seemed like the best decision she could make, and I wanted to know where and who we’d have to see when she was ready. I fully planned on going through every step of this with her. Even if it was only as her friend.

  “Take the guitar,” Dani urged, trying to pull it out of the Hummer’s backseat. She had her chestnut hair down tonight and her reddest lipstick on.

  “I’m not taking the fucking guitar,” I argued, trying to keep my voice low.

  We were in the Chancy’s Claw parking lot. Emma had invited the whole family and me to some bonfire thing on the beach. But I wasn’t going to be ‘that’ guy. The guy who showed up with a guitar and serenaded the people at a party, like he was desperate for attention.

  Besides, Luke was our lead guitarist. I just played rhythm guitar. Sure, I played the hell out of that guitar when I was onstage. But tonight I didn’t want to be ‘Caleb Mills of Sunset Revival.’ I wanted this one night to be normal. Normal and with Emma. I wasn’t putting on a free concert for a bunch of strangers when I could be talking to her instead. The great thing about being in a band—sometimes people might know your band name and all your number-one hit songs, but never recognize you in a crowd. I’d only seen eyes on me a handful of times since I arrived. So why sing one of my songs and blast it for the universe to know I was here?

  “Fine.” Dani put up her hands. “Don’t take my advice and continue playing second to her ‘amazingly-gorgeous, might-as-well-be-a-male-model’ boyfriend.”

  Dani was in town yesterday, at the supermarket, and swears she saw the world’s most handsome man there. He was all she could talk about. She claimed she heard someone call him Nick. Not that it mattered.

  I didn’t care if he was 1990’s Brad Pitt.

  Because Emma confided in me. She could have shown Nick what she’d shown me, but she didn’t. She’d let me zip my hoodie up over her bare chest. My fingers had grazed her soft skin. Chill-bumps erupted on her skin because it was me. Right?

  “Ya’ll ready?” Ollie asked, slapping my back. “Because I need to get laid, like yesterday. There better be someone halfway decent at this party or my balls might explode. I refuse to... you know... do that to myself.”

  “Masturbate?” Dani laughed, making a disgusted face. We started walking through the dark, across the gravel parking lot, in the direction of the restaurant. She giggled so hard, she nearly tripped over her own feet.

  “Why do it myself when there are literally thousands of beautiful women who would do it for me?” Ollie added, sounding like even more of a jackass than I already knew him to be. “Seems like a waste when I’m alone. Someone else should be benefiting from the excellence between my legs.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at Ollie’s stupidity.

  Until Emma approached.

  I turned quiet instantly. The usual set of tingles she gave me ran over my body. She had a friend with her. The same blonde who’d been with Rhett the bartender in Tennessee. Emma approached with an easy smile on her face.

  I hoped she hadn’t heard Ollie’s comment a moment ago. Now that I knew she was a virgin, something I inferred from the fact that I was the first person to see her chest, I felt more of a need to protect her from the reality of our lives.

  I was so far from a virgin myself.

  “Hi Caleb. Hi everyone,” she said. “This is my friend Sydney. Come with us. Everyone’s down at the beach already.”

  Emma had on jeans that showed off the curve of her ass, and a fuzzy sweater that I wanted to remove because it blocked too much of the rest of her body. It wasn’t too cold tonight, and I’d left my jacket at home. We followed Emma and her friend across the wooden boardwalk toward the water.

  There was a large fire on the beach. Music. Lawn chairs. A good twenty people or so. Someone had a charcoal grill, cooking hotdogs. There was alcohol, but also a couple kids running around. Emma started introducing us to people. I wasn’t good with names, and I had trouble focusing on anyone but her. I knew I’d never remember all these faces.

  And then there was Nate West.

  Sure enough, she knew the famous actor. I had to admit, it shocked me a little finding him out here on this random beach. “Nathanial. This is Caleb,” Emma said, making introductions. “I’m supposed to be helping the kids with marshmallows. I’ll come find you later.” She squeezed my arm momentarily before heading off toward the fire.

  I was left with Nate West.

  Which would have been cool and all, but he wasn’t whom I wanted to talk to at this party.

  Ollie was right there beside me asking the guy a million questions. “So how come it has taken almost two years for the next season of Dragon Wars to release?” he asked the massively muscular man. “It’s been so long I’m going to have t
o re-watch season six first.”

  “They’re just trying to build anticipation. Trust me, the final season is going to be worth the wait.”

  “So I have my own theories…”

  I did not care about Ollie’s fan theories. Besides, I thought he wanted to get laid tonight. Talking to Nate West wasn’t going to get him there. I stared across the sand, and the glow of the fire, in Emma’s direction. She picked the burnt marshmallow off a stick for one of the kids. A guy came up to her. He had dark hair and a strong build.

  Dani approached me.

  She squeezed my hand. And without looking in Emma’s direction, she muttered, “that’s Nick.”

  To make matters worse. A second later, Emma walked off with him. The pair moved away from the fire and closer to the shoreline. It was hard to see her once she left the glow of the fire. But I didn’t need to see to imagine everything that might be happening as they moved away from the group. I guess, in all the moments where I’d pictured how tonight might go, I never pictured Nick showing up and stealing her away.

  And Dani was right. He was handsome. I had my insecurities, always had, and seeing her together with this guy brought them all bubbling to the surface.

  “Fine,” I muttered under my breath. “Go get the guitar.”

  ~ CHAPTER 27 ~

  EMMA

  Rehashing my breakup with Nick was not where I wanted to be. He’d pulled me away from the party, down close to the water where I was literally freezing my ass off. Now he was arguing with me, trying to convince me I’d made a mistake. I’d had a couple drinks at the start of this party, and now that alcohol was swirling in my stomach.

  “I just don’t think you’ve thought this through,” Nick pleaded. He wore his gray beanie on his head tonight. I hadn’t seen him in it since the day he sold me the mint Volkswagen. “I’m good for you. But you’ve never let your guard down long enough to see that. This is why you’re still a virgin. At first, I couldn’t understand it. You’re not religious or saving yourself until marriage. You’re so damn beautiful that I didn’t understand how you could possibly be so...untouched. But I get it now. You’re afraid to let anyone get close to you. I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve even kissed you. Don’t you see the flaw in that?”

  Nick wasn’t winning himself any points. I clinched my jaw. I’d let him get whatever he needed off his chest, and then that would the end of that.

  “Has Ollie Mills kissed you?”

  My jaw dropped open in surprise. He was off by one brother, but his intuition wasn’t completely wrong. I wanted to kiss Caleb so bad sometimes that it made breathing impossible.

  “You can’t tell me that it’s not a coincidence,” he continued. “You go on the charity date in Tennessee with him. Now suddenly he’s ‘vacationing’ here and you’re breaking up with me. Look, Emma. If you like this guy, then you need to know, he’s probably only into you because you’re a challenge. A guy like Ollie Mills—he can sleep with whomever he wants. And you’re this sweet, innocent thing. So what happens when you give it to him? He returns to his Rockstar life and leaves you behind.”

  I swallowed hard.

  I opened my mouth to tell Nick he was wrong even if I wasn’t entirely sure if that was true. How did I know Caleb wouldn’t do that to me? But I didn’t say anything to the contrary because I heard the music change by the bonfire. It went from Bob Marley on the stereo to someone on the guitar.

  My heart began to beat harder.

  The people went quiet. And a voice started to sing. I knew that voice instantly. Caleb. Caleb was playing. Caleb was singing. And not a Sunset Revival song. I think it was a... Selena Gomez song?? The song Hands to Myself.

  What the hell?

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. I truly am, but I have to go.” I hurried up the beach, across the sand, and back to the fire. But my feet slowed and then stopped as I got closer.

  I’d never liked this song. I thought the lyrics were absolutely ridiculous when I heard the regular version on the radio. But when Caleb sang the words, they were... sexy and raw. He sang a slower version, put emphasis in different places, and the lyrics… holy shit, the lyrics. They meant something different when he sang them.

  I swallowed hard, watching him.

  He put so much emotion into those lyrics.

  I dropped to my knees in the cold sand. I physically could not take my eyes off of him. This was so different than any Sunset Revival song.

  Caleb’s eyes were on the guitar strings, focusing on the music, his mouth moving as he stressed and sang the words. He wasn’t looking at me, but I still felt like this was just between the two of us.

  And if he meant the words he was saying...

  He wanted me.

  To be close to me.

  To touch me. To taste me. To have me all to himself.

  He was struggling to stay away.

  The more he sang and the deeper into the song he got, the dizzier I became. I suddenly felt every bit of those two drinks I’d had earlier. Or maybe that was just him and his voice coursing through my veins.

  He finished the song. All my friends around the fire cheered. Caleb brushed his hair back. Even though it wasn’t warm tonight, he was sweating around his hairline. Playing made him sweat.

  I’d never been so turned on in my life, tingling so hard in so many places. I’d never wanted to give up my virginity more.

  Ollie came up to Caleb. He took the guitar from Caleb, as if he knew his brother well, better than I might have ever thought. Caleb had a modest side to him, and he stepped away from the praise of those offering it. He left the group and started walking through the dark, back toward the boardwalk, back toward the restaurant.

  I swallowed, trying to clear my dry throat. Should I follow him? Should I chase him? I wanted to but I was terrified. I thought of Nick’s words. I was afraid to let anyone get close to me. I didn’t want to stand here, not go after Caleb, and let my fears win out.

  So after a moment, I stood from the sand and followed in the direction he’d gone.

  I found his Hummer still in the lot, but I didn’t find him. I tried inside Chancy’s Claw next. Sure enough, he was there. At the bar. A shot of something in front of him. I tentatively approached. I sat down to his right. Rhett was working the bar tonight. I motioned for him to get me the same as Caleb.

  Caleb didn’t acknowledge me next to him, but he hadn’t moved away when I joined him either.

  Rhett set my shot down in front of me, his eyes warning me to take it easy. I’d always been a bit of a lightweight—I wasn’t the best at holding alcohol.

  I knew my limits, though. I knew how to be careful.

  Caleb picked up his shot and clinked it with mine. He was about to shoot it back, but I gently touched his arm to stop him.

  “Let’s play a game. Tell me a truth and then you take a shot. I’ll do the same.”

  “Like truth or drink?”

  “No, truth and then drink.” Because I had a feeling, we were both going to need the drinking part to be truly honest with each other. Hell, I wasn’t fully honest with anyone...like ever. “I don’t think I can drink more than four shots before you’ll have to carry me out of here. So you get three questions.”

  “I’ll give you four,” he said gently. “What’s your first question for me?”

  Crap. I needed to make the most of these four questions. “Was that song on the beach for me?”

  “Yes it was, Emma.” And he shot the liquid back.

  ~ CHAPTER 28 ~

  CALEB

  I wouldn’t sing a Selena Gomez for anyone but her. It was actually a little embarrassing that I knew all the words. But when I’d first heard the song a couple years back, I’d heard the potential there. It could be more than just a pop song. Obviously, at the time, I didn’t know it would end up being about Emma. I just knew it was about someone.

  I took a breath. I needed a question for her now. This might be my one chance to dig at the marrow of who Emma W
inchester really was. “Do you always wear makeup to cover your freckles?” I asked as my first question.

  She touched her cheek.

  Today, once again, she had on enough makeup to completely cover all the little brown freckles underneath. I found her beautiful either way, but I’d seen her once without all the makeup, on the day I’d caught her off guard, so I knew what she had hidden underneath. I knew how stunning she was.

  “No. I normally don’t,” she answered.

  “So you’re wearing it for me?”

  “That’s two questions.”

  “That’s part of my first question.” I raised my eyebrows, not wanting her to chicken out now. This needed to be total honesty.

  “Yes. I’m insecure about them, okay. I think you would be too if you had about a million like me.” She picked up her shot from off the bar and swallowed it in two quick gulps.

  She made a face as she set the glass back down. “Yikes. What was that?”

  “Bourbon.” I gestured for her to come closer.

  She seemed hesitant but leaned in.

  “Please don’t cover them with me ever again,” I whispered against her ear. “I like the way they look. They’re sexier than you realize.” I pulled back to see her staring at me with wide, shocked eyes.

  I could tell no one had ever told her that.

  What a damn shame.

  She took a breath then called out, “Rhett can we have two more please?”

  Rhett was talking to a guy with long, blond hair across the bar, but he broke away for a moment to pour our next shots. He sat them in front of us, giving me a hard look before he returned to his other customer.

  “So, along the same lines, why’d you shave your beard?” Emma asked me. Was this her question? I hadn’t shaved again since I arrived here, so I was almost back to my normal heavy stubble that I liked. I guess she’d noticed the change when I first arrived in her town.

  “Honestly—I didn’t want you thinking I was trying as hard as I was. I postponed our tour for you. I came here because of you.” I picked up my next shot and tipped it back. That had been enough of a truth to earn me my second.